by Mike Essex
“I will send men into the sewers to support you with non-lethal weapons but when you’re on the surface you’re on your own. No-one can know we were ever there.”
“Thank you Jacobi,” I replied.
“Meet me at the tunnel entrance at 9.00 tomorrow. I’ll make sure you’re well-armed,” he disconnected the call.
“Do you think he’ll be there?” asked March.
“He’s a man of his word,” said Grace.
Paranoid, I checked Evan to make sure he hadn’t heard anything we’d been saying. I loudly clapped my hands together by his ears and he didn’t flinch. He was either deaf or very clever.
I left the back of the van and went to see Carter in the front. He sat in the driver’s seat, gun in hand, watching the front of the van for threats. As I approached he turned the gun towards me, shining a light in my face.
“You startled me,” said Carter.
“Sorry, I replied. Just wanted to make sure you weren’t going crazy.”
“Everything alright back there?” asked Carter, helping me up inside the van.
“Yes, it’s fine.” I replied. “Eli won’t attack us tonight, it’s ok, you can sleep.”
“How can you be so sure?”
I contemplated filling Carter in on the plan. From here in the front of the van I couldn’t hear any sound from the back. Carter would be oblivious to what we were planning. I decided to keep it that way. I had some trust in him but not enough to share such an important plan.
“We’ve arranged a meet tomorrow. He won’t attack until them,” I replied.
This felt like the minimum amount of information I could provide Carter with, without filling him in on our attack. I needed him to sleep so he could protect us tomorrow. Not that it mattered if Carter trusted me or not, after tomorrow I’d probably never see him again. The last thing I wanted was to get pulled deeper into Jacobi’s world of soldiers.
“Ok. I’ll take your word for it King of Clubs,” he said with a glisten in his eye.
“Please don’t call me that,” I replied, starting to climb out of the van.
“You’re the boss,” said Carter. “There’s one more thing.”
I turned back to face him.
“I don’t know if Jacobi ever thanked you so I’ll do it anyway. Thank you for saving us when Q-Whitehall fell. You’re amazing, you know that right?” said Carter.
His words did little to settle me. Deep down I still blamed myself for the destruction of Q-Whitehall. The soldiers that had ripped through that place had been sent there because of my actions. Even my years in the machine had done little to remove that burden.
“I’m no hero,” I replied.
“Sure you are. If you’d never showed up the soldiers would have found us eventually,” said Carter. “You helped us get out just in time and then gave us the fight we needed to take back our city.”
“How is everyone? Has Jacobi given you all good lives?” I asked.
“The best,” he replied. “He’s tough sometimes but he looks out for us. Living on the surface is much better than hiding in the sewers.”
“And here we are again,” I replied, looking at the dank tunnel surrounding us.
“You got us out of here once. I’m sure you’ll do it again,” said Carter, cracking a smile.
“Thank you and tell your brother I said hi,” I replied.
“Oh, he knows. Meeting you is pretty exciting; he’s in a Tether event right now.”
“Really?” I replied.
“You’re a hero to the people of QWS. If anyone was going to send my emotions spiking then it would be you. We both think about you all the time.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling a little awkward.
He smiled again, a deep smile that showed a big gap from two missing teeth, that I was sure had been there last time. I wrote them off as battle injuries and decided now was probably a good time to go. Something about Carter creeped me out; from the first day I’d met him he just acted so familiar and overly friendly.
Maybe I’d just forgotten how nice people acted. There’d been so much betrayal in my life that any act of kindness felt like a trick now. I left Carter and walked to the back of the van.
The small enclosed space of the van didn’t give us much room to sleep in, but we tried anyway, hoping that a good night’s sleep would give us an edge the next day. We agreed to wake up in shifts, rotating every two hours for one of us to dig the knife into Evan’s fingers. Our aim wasn’t to hurt him unnecessarily but merely to make it hard for Eli to sleep, waking him up with a Tether event every time he fell asleep.
Rex took the first shift, twisting the knife around in Evan’s flesh. The Rex I’d grown up with would have shied away from such things but he was now a man who could do what needed to be done. In some ways this life had made him stronger, in others it had broken him.
After I managed to drown Evan’s muffled cries from my mind I slept for five hours, right through Grace’s shift and into March’s. I awoke to find him applying some ointment to Evan’s cuts and treating the wounds that we’d made.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“He’s an innocent man. No reason he should suffer unnecessarily,” said March.
“But Eli…”
“He’ll still be in a Tether event,” said March. “This treatment isn’t exactly painless but it’ll mean Evan can still use his hand when we’re finished with him.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue with March. So long as Eli was kept awake I didn’t care what he did to Evan. I kept forgetting than Evan was a person too, an innocent who had done nothing to deserve this. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
An hour later March woke me up to let me know my shift had begun. He offered to do it for me but I told him not to worry. My shift was the last one before we’d go to meet with Eli and I wanted to make sure he knew what was waiting for him.
Standing over Evan’s body I admired the handy-work that March had done. He may have been a scientist rather than a doctor but he had taken good care of Evan. His hand was bandaged where we’d attacked him and March had applied fresh bandages to Evan’s head, discarding those that had become bloody from his head wound.
It seemed March still had some compassion left, even if the rest of us were too far down the rabbit hole to care anymore. I kept telling myself I’d get my humanity back when it was all over but I was starting to wonder if I’d ever be the same again.
Back in the machine it hadn’t just been the horrors Eli inflicted that I’d seen. Jumping from body to body I’d seen so much unnecessary violence, heartache and strife that I’d begun to understand why Tobias had wanted to end it all.
Evan must have known someone was standing beside him as his hand started to twitch when I drew near, almost expecting the cuts. I looked at the bandages wrapped around his head as I held the knife in my hand. This was probably the last chance I’d have to take the easy way out. One hard thrust through the rib cage, up into his heart, and all of my problems would be over. Was Tom’s life really worth all of this?
I looked down at the battered, bloodied man on the table in front of me and I didn’t have the heart to cause him any more pain. March’s act had touched me and I didn’t know what to do. Had Eli been on the table I’d have had no problem torturing him but March was right, hurting Evan made me no better than the snatcher.
Perhaps I did have some compassion after all. The desire to save Tom was all that kept me sane. He was the last thing keeping me from losing everything.
Quietly, I opened the back door of the van and stepped outside. I needed some fresh air but this really wasn’t the place. The rancid stench of the sewers rushed up inside of my mouth and made me sick. I fought back against my gag reflex and rested my body against the slimy wall of the tunnel.
“You ok Emzie?” said Grace, poking her head outside of the van.
Before I had chance to tell her to go back to sleep she was out of the van, closing the door behind
her.
“I’m ok,” I replied.
“You don’t look ok,” she said “What’s wrong?”
“What happened to us? When did we become so numb?”
“We always did what we had to in order to survive. Even back in Smyth West,” said Grace.
“Can we go back?” I asked.
“To Smyth West? That place is long abandoned,” she told me.
“No, I mean back to the people we were before.”
“Do you really want to? We’re stronger and wiser now. We’ve got a chance to make a real difference to the world. It’s got to be better than sitting on our butts all day.”
“Did you hurt Evan?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied.
“How? March treated him but Rex was able to hurt him so easily. How did you both do it?”
“It wasn’t easy. You’ve got to remember that Rex and I have spent the last seven years in Jacobi’s military. Torture is never simple but sometimes it is the only way to save a lot of people.”
“So you think about those you’ll save not those you’re hurting?”
“That’s right,” she put an arm around me. “But it’s always a last resort. Always.”
“Ok,” I replied, standing up.
“Wait. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. What you said back there about March, that he didn’t deserve to go to jail, does that mean you’ve forgiven him?” asked Grace.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I wanted to hate him but now I’m not sure why. Everything he did was to protect me and he was only following orders.”
“But Rex is the one you’re supposed to be with,” said Grace.
“Stop saying that,” I told her. “We’re not the same people we were seven years ago.”
“That kiss you shared in the rain sure looked pretty hot.”
“Well … yes,” I replied, blushing. “But we haven’t really spoken about it since. That was the old us being reunited but in terms of where we are now, I just don’t know.”
“Whatever you do, just promise me you won’t get back together with March,” said Grace.
“How can I promise that? I barely know who I am, let alone what I want.”
“Well whatever you choose, let me know if you ever like girls again.”
“No, that part of me is definitely over.”
“Oh well,” she replied. “I’m finished with men now.”
“Do you think Gabe will be there?” I asked.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” she said.
“But what will you do if you see him?”
“Emzie, drop it.”
“Ok,” I replied, wondering if Grace’s resentment towards March was really just her projecting her anger against Gabe.
She started walking away from me and then turned to say “Some people don’t deserve forgiveness.”
THIRTY FOUR
After one hour of keeping Evan - and therefore Eli - awake the group started to stir. March woke up first and I hoped he wasn’t judging me too harshly for letting the torture continue. Of all the people in this room he knew what Eli was capable of, I was sure he’d understand.
He walked over to me, whilst the others caught a few final minutes of rest.
“There’s something I need to know,” I whispered to him.
“Anything. No more secrets,” he replied.
“Did you ever love me?”
He looked away from me, like I’d asked the one question I wasn’t supposed to ask. He stared at Rex, and then looked back at me, taking my hand.
“You know I do,” he said.
I pulled my hand away. “How could I? You never told me.”
“How could I? I felt so much guilt for what I’d done to you that I didn’t feel like I deserved anything from you. I couldn’t be truthful about how I felt when there were so many other things that I had to keep hidden from you.”
“So why stay with me for all that time?”
“I guess I hoped that one day this would all be over and that I could tell you the truth. But things just kept getting worse and I was in too deep by that point.”
It was all a lot to take in. I pulled the knife away from Evan, releasing the pressure on his hands.
“Just tell me one thing. Did you love me?” he asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“You never told me either.”
“Well, I…” I didn’t know what to say to March. I’d wanted to tell him I loved him many times but it’d never felt right. A part of me wanted him to say it first and the longer it took for that to happen the more I’d felt myself drifting away from him.
Without the lies and the guilt he carried we’d probably have still been together now. The past was just a different life now.
“When I heard you and Rex were together I was glad,” said March.
“Why?” I replied.
“Because it meant you were happy. I could never truly give myself to you but he can. He’s loved you longer than I have and he’s strong enough to protect you now.”
“You protected me too.”
“For the wrong reasons,” he replied. “I love you Emmie Keyes but I know I don’t deserve you.”
I took his hand back in mine and thought about saying those three words back to him. Maybe not for how I felt today but perhaps for all those times I should have said it all those years ago.
The sharp sound of metal clanging against the back door of the van startled me and I pulled away from March. It echoed around the contained space, waking up the rest of the group, who instantly grabbed their weapons and aimed for the door.
“Eli?” asked Grace.
“Impossible,” I replied, looking at Evan who was still stuck in a Tether event.
The clanging sound rang out three more times, each hit on the metal evenly timed like the sound of knocking. I heard the front door of the van open and then close.
A latch on the back of the van clicked open as someone unlocked the door from the outside. I held the knife over Evan just in case Eli hadn’t honoured the deal I’d made. The door swing open and the tip of a blade was the first thing to come inside.
“What kind of a welcome is this?” said Jacobi, trailing behind his samurai sword.
“Certainly not a royal one,” said Grace.
“Well that’s alright then,” said Jacobi. “I hope you have a better welcome for this fellow.”
A friendly face appeared in the doorway and was quickly welcomed by his brother followed by a big bear hug from me.
“Rufus,” I smiled. “What are you doing here?”
“If lover boy over there can be here to help you out then I can too. Besides, I was getting bored not knowing what was going on. No Tether events back in the base makes things pretty lonely.”
“But, you’re a chef not a soldier,” I said.
“Since when were you a careers councillor?” said Rufus.
“Don’t worry about this one,” said Jacobi. “I’ve been giving him and all the other support staff lessons. Everyone needs to know how to protect themselves, even the fry cook.”
“Besides,” interrupted Rufus. “If Rex dies I die, so I may as well be here to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” snapped Rex.
“So this is all of us?” I asked.
“No, no,” said Jacobi. “The rest are higher up along the tunnels, getting into position to be ready to strike if you need them.”
“Hopefully we won’t,” I replied.
“Oh and here’s another comms unit, it seems you broke the last one accidentally,” he replied, dragging out the last word.
He knew full well I’d smashed it after speaking to him. I pressed the button on the new comms unit and a call instantly started coming through. More suspicious timing from Jacobi.
“Emmie? Emmie!” said the voice on the other end.
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’ve been trying to rea
ch you for ages! I should probably say hello first,” said Jill, always one for formalities.
“Hello,” I replied cordially.
“Yes, um well. I might not get a chance to say this later, if you know, things go wrong.”
“Wrong?”
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I meant in case we lose contact. Not that you’d die. Or … err … anyway. I wanted to say thank you for saving me back there.”
“Anytime.” I replied.
“Obviously it was March’s plan so I’d better thank him too but without you none of us would be free. I still don’t know how you got out of the machine but I’m glad you did.”
“That wasn’t you who released me?”
“Nope, not me. I managed to sneak a few lines of code in here and there but it took me seven years to get together enough data to implicate your father and you know I’m good at hacking. They had me under a very watchful eye.”
“Gabe?” I asked.
“That’s right. That reminds me, can you tell Grace to turn her comms unit on? There’s something I want to tell her too that I might not get chance to say later.”
“Ok,” I replied, cutting the call off just as Jill said ‘bye’.
I passed the message on to Grace and she seemed surprisingly happy to be receiving a call from Jill. She disappeared off for a minute to take the call, whilst I caught up with R&R for old times’ sake.
When he was around his brother, Rex was very much the same happy and optimistic guy that I’d grown up with. Without the burden of carrying out some mission for me he seemed more at peace. It made me wonder if he’d be better off without me one day.
Had he never met me he’d still have the use of both lungs and wouldn’t have spent seven years needlessly searching for me. He never would have turned into a monster that could torture someone for two hours after one request from me.
In many ways I had taken Rex’s life away from him. I didn’t ask for any of it but somehow it happened anyway.
Grace came back from her phone call looking very cheerful.
“Ok, time for a little payback,” said Grace.
THIRTY FIVE