It was lovely. The land sloped down a little beyond the elm tree, and Lilli could see random sparkles that were the sodium arc lamps around other houses. Along the horizon, she thought she could see the black ribbon of the interstate, white and red lights moving over its length in pairs. It was twilight.
“Wow. It’s beautiful back here.”
“What—you’ve never seen this? Lilli, you live here!”
But she didn’t, not really. She didn’t live anywhere. She shrugged. “Busy, I guess. Never looked around back this way.”
Shaking his head, he stooped and rolled her yoga mat out under the tree. He came back to her and slid his fingers under the skin-tight hem of her top, which just grazed the bottom of her rib cage. She raised her arms and let him pull it off. As he did, he said, “We should walk the property. It’s not much, but it’s got some of the prettiest views around here. You should know what you have.”
Lilli didn’t saying anything. When he’d freed her from her top, he snaked his arms around her and pulled her close, his mouth coming down hard on hers, his tongue in her mouth right away. She adored the feeling of being bare against his rough clothing, all leather, denim, and metal. He hooked his fingers over her shoulders, and she felt his leather cuffs pressing into the skin of her back. He pulled her backward and kissed along her jaw, down her throat, and over her collarbone, a low rumble in his chest. He beard was rough and soft all at once, and she arched farther back, trusting him to hold her, wanting to feel the silk and scratch of his mouth on her breast.
He obliged, growling more loudly now, sucking her deeply and rhythmically into his mouth. She gasped, “God!” and laced her fingers into his hair. He’d been wearing it differently lately, catching half of it back in a ponytail and leaving the rest to lie on his back. She loved it. He looked wild and unbelievably sexy with that dark mane over his shoulders.
He brought her back to stand straight and pushed his hands down her sides, into her shorts at her hips, sliding the slight piece of spandex with him as he continued down her legs, kneeling as he went. She put her hands on his head as he helped her step out of the snug shorts, losing her flimsy sandals.
He slid a hand between her legs and teased at her folds. His fingers were instantly slick with her, and he groaned. “Fuck, I’ll never get over how beautiful you are,” he murmured, kissing her belly, before he stood and swept her off her feet. He laid her on the mat and started taking his own clothes off. He laid his kutte down under the tree and tossed his t-shirt on it. He started to toe his boots off, but Lilli sat up and stopped him.
“Don’t. Leave your boots and jeans.”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Yeah?”
“I like the way your clothes feel on my skin. Hot and rough.” She really, really did. She could feel the wet trickling along her folds as she anticipated it.
He gave her an absolutely lecherous grin and grabbed a condom from his wallet. Standing just outside the canopy of the big elm, he opened his jeans, pulled his steel rod of a cock out, and rolled it on. When he joined her on the mat, he lifted her onto his lap and onto his cock without hesitation. Lilli gasped as he filled her so quickly. Oh, God, it was good. He always felt so damn good. Like he was die-cut just for her. She wrapped her arms and legs as tightly around him as she could, wanting the press of his chest against hers, the short, softly coarse curls rasping over her nipples.
She rocked on him, driving him deeper, and he wrapped his hands around her ass with a wrenching groan. His face in the crook of her shoulder, his lips against her neck, he rumbled, “Ah, Christ. Do you know how fucking good you feel on me? So damn tight and soft, holding me in. I love the way you smell, the way you taste. I love the sounds you make. Fuck, baby, I love you.”
She froze. A beat later, he lifted his head and met her eyes. He shifted and held her closer, got deeper, making her gasp despite her turmoil. “That wasn’t sex talk, Lilli. I’m tellin’ you I love you. Don’t make a fuss. Just sayin’ what I feel.”
She loved him, too. She was lightheaded with it. But everything was complicated. “Isaac . . .”
He shook his head. “Only thing I want to hear out of you right now is screaming, cuz I’m gonna make you come so hard your eyes cross.” He rolled up onto his knees and put her on the mat, kissing her deeply.
He was as good as his word.
CHAPTER TWELVE
It was still dark when Isaac woke in Lilli’s bed. That was becoming routine for him; when Lilli dreamt badly, she usually did so in the predawn. They’d spent most nights together over the past few weeks, and he estimated that she woke violently at least as many nights as she slept peacefully. Sometimes she woke repeatedly. Mostly, the excitement happened between three and five am. So he was beginning to wake before her.
Only twice had she actually come at him while she dreamt. Usually, she simply started awake, sitting up as if alarmed. Other times she jumped out of the bed, ready to fight. Always, as soon as she woke, she shook it off and settled back in bed with him. She would not tell him what was going on. She’d say only that it was over.
Aside from the two times he’d had to fend her off, he’d intervened only once, and that had gotten him punched in the face before she was fully awake. So he sat and watched, waiting for her to wake. He always asked, but she never told him. He assumed it had something to do with her time in Afghanistan. He knew a couple of vets, and they had twitches, too. Lilli was extremely level in every other way. Whatever was tormenting her seemed to be relegated to the shadows of her sleep.
Isaac was frustrated, though. He felt protective of her and wanted to do something that would help her. The best he could offer was comfort when she settled back under the covers. She always curled snugly into him, and he held her while she eased back to sleep.
This morning, though, there was more on his mind than waiting to see if Lilli would dream. He could feel that there was something going on with her, something she was keeping from him that was more than the secrets he knew she had. They’d gotten close over these weeks, and despite the rapidity with which they were growing together, he knew it was real. His father was alive the last time he’d been any kind of serious with a woman. It wasn’t something he wanted or needed, at least not until now. What was happening with Lilli was something different, and he wanted it.
But the last few days, he could feel her putting a wall up. After he’d shown her the article Bart had found, and they’d talked, Lilli had been as easy and open with him as he’d been with her. Now, though, she was pulling back. It was subtle, and he couldn’t put his finger on how he knew, but he did. He could feel it. It was in the way she’d drift off sometimes, just for a second or two, while they were talking. It was more clear in the way she was avoiding going to the clubhouse. He hadn’t realized it until last night, because she’d been dodging it so deftly, always sending the conversation somewhere else, but she was dodging it.
It didn’t make sense. He knew she wouldn’t be intimidated by the men, as some women were. She’d met most of them and utterly won them over—and, anyway, she was plenty used to a roughhouse crowd. She was pretty damn roughhouse herself. He couldn’t imagine she’d have trouble with the women there, or with what went on with the women there. But there was something. He just didn’t know what it was. Not yet.
He wanted her there. Bringing her to the clubhouse made her more his. Now, in the minds of his club, she was his latest little bit of tail. Bringing her into the club changed that, made her his woman. With the shit that looked like it was about to come down on the Horde and on Signal Bend, getting her under the protection of the club was important, no matter how badass she might be.
Putting his ink on her would make it stick, but they were a goodly ways from that. That was not a thing Isaac took lightly. He’d never before had any thought of ever marking a woman, taking an old lady. He could see it happening someday with Lilli, but the secrets—all of them—needed to get cleared out first.
He’d told her the truth l
ast night under the elm—he loved her. That much he knew. He trusted her. But she was holding something back. He knew it meant she didn’t feel like he did; she didn’t trust him completely. She was keeping a guard up. It didn’t change how he felt, and he wasn’t sorry he’d told her. Isaac liked to be straight. Lies and dodges made nothing better. And that’s why he was awake now, wondering what new thing Lilli was hiding.
About fifteen minutes or so later, she came awake with a gasp. It was still mostly dark, and he whispered, “Hey,” so she’d know he was awake.
She turned to him and scooted closer. “Hey. Did you sleep at all?”
“Enough.” He pulled her in and kissed her head. “Lilli, talk to me.”
“Isaac, I told you, they’re nothing. They turn to mist as soon as I wake up. I barely remember.”
He didn’t believe her, but it was a lie he understood. He’d let her have that one. There was a small lamp on the dresser next to the bed. He turned it on and shifted her so they were face to face. “No, Sport. Not the dreams. Tell me what’s going on. There’s something new. Something you’re avoiding.”
“I don’t—”
“No. No lies. The secrets you have I understand. This is different. Lies I won’t deal with.”
He waited, holding her gaze, while she thought through whatever it was she needed to think through. Eventually, she sat up and really faced him. “I love you, Isaac.”
“Lilli, you don’t have to say it because I did. I’m more secure than that.” He smiled and took her hand.
“Then you know that’s not why I’m saying it. I’ve only said it to one other man, and I realized later that I’d been wrong. I made a promise to myself that I’d never mistake companionship for love again, that I’d never say those words again unless I was sure they were true. I need you to know that, because I’m saying them to you.”
“Well, that’s good, then. But what’s the catch? That’s not what you’re dodging, Sport. If you love me, don’t lie to me.”
The breath she took was shaky. He heard it, and he felt a thin catch of something like anxiety. “I lost my target. He’s just disappeared, fell right off the grid. My guy is looking. When he finds him, wherever he finds him, I have to go. It means I might have to start over somewhere else. Maybe far away. Maybe very soon.” She took another shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Isaac. I should have said, but I didn’t want you to pull away. That was selfish and shitty, and I’m sorry.”
Isaac was not an idiot, not by a long stretch. He was aware that Lilli had not exactly moved in to this little house in the country. Aside from the hummingbird carving he’d given her, there was virtually nothing in it that had any personality at all, and Lilli was chock full of personality. She hadn’t even been interested enough in the place to get to know her own yard. So what she was saying now didn’t blindside him. It swiped at him, because he’d been coming to hope—maybe even to expect—that once she took care of her business, then she’d settle. Whatever it was she did for a living, she could obviously do it here.
“Lilli. Can’t you come back when you’re done?”
“This isn’t the kind of thing where I can just sneak in and then right back out. I have to stay put for awhile wherever he is, to cast off suspicion. I’d rather not get caught.”
“Can you let him go?” He knew the answer, but he still had to ask.
“No. Part of me wishes I could. A month ago I would have flattened anyone who suggested that might be true, but it is. Part of me wants to let it go and just stay here. But people put themselves at risk to help with this, and I can’t let them down.”
“Baby, you have to tell me who you’re after. What he did. You’re telling me that you’re part of a fuckin’ conspiracy to kill a guy, and it might take you away. You have to tell me more than that.”
She shook her head. “I’ve told you why I can’t. I can’t extend the risk any further. And you can’t take that risk. There’s more than yourself you need to consider.”
“What if your guy doesn’t find him?”
“Then we fail. And I stay. And that asshole gets away with a lot.”
He was rooting against her, then, but he wasn’t going to say it. He wrapped his hands around her arms to pull her close, but she held back.
“You’re okay with this?”
He pulled harder and dragged her into his arms; she put up only a token resistance. “There’s a lot about that whole thing I’m not okay with. I’m not okay with you putting yourself in that kind of risk regardless. I’m not okay with the thought of you leaving and not coming back. But it’s not like I can put what I feel for you on hold while you work your shit out. So I say we deal with what comes as it comes.”
He’d pulled her to his chest; now, she sat up, her hands on his shoulders, and looked into his eyes. Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears. That was new; he hadn’t seen Lilli cry—or even come near it. He put his hand on her cheek, tracing his thumb over her cheekbone. “You okay, Sport?”
She smiled, and a tear fell onto his thumb. “Yeah. Just . . . I love you.”
“I love you. I don’t say that lightly, either. No lies, Lilli. If you can’t tell me something, at least tell me that. But no lies.”
She nodded, and he kissed her. Then he pulled her down to lie on his chest, and they slept until the sun was bright.
~oOo~
Lilli was off running in her tiny little stretchy clothes when the burner went off. Isaac answered. “Yeah.”
“Isaac, it’s Kenyon.”
That could only be bad news. Kenyon had called twice in the past week or so, bearing nothing but bad news. Lawrence Ellis was indeed looking to buy Will out—by one kind of incentive or another. Ellis was indeed looking to annex the meth trade as a complement to his robust cocaine and heroin enterprises. Get the junkies all up and down the socio-economic and cultural spectra. The Northside Knights, Ellis’s point men for crack in St. Louis, seeing an opportunity for an up in their own beef with the Horde, had set Ellis on the Horde’s heels. And Ellis was putting muscle and money on the ground.
Seeing dark clouds on the eastern horizon, Isaac had turned west, meeting in Joplin with crew heads from there and Tulsa. So far, things were quiet in that direction, but they were much smaller and more remote from the power centers. St. Louis, with its proximity to Chicago, looked to catch fire. Becker, from Tulsa, and Dandy, from Joplin, were mostly interested in not getting singed. So Isaac left that meet knowing he’d need to sweeten the pot before he could hope for their backup. What looked to be brewing was big enough that decades-long alliances weren’t strong enough on their own.
And here was Isaac, trying to hold together his little town of a few hundred souls. Damn, he hoped Kenyon was right, that it was the strong ones who stayed. Because these poor saps must be tough as jerky by now, all they’ve been through.
“Kenyon. What’s the word?”
“Not good, I’m afraid, brother. Not good. I’m thinking I’m in need of some fresh air, maybe a ride into the country. I’m wondering whether I might pay you a visit tomorrow.”
Kenyon had never come out before. There was no need. The Horde escorted the product to him. Isaac’s brain kicked into gear, working out the implications of this request. “Of course. You want me to set you a place at our table?”
“No need, Isaac. I’d just like a chat with you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” They ended the call. Then he called Show and had him gather the troops. They were all working their day jobs, but they’d need to take a few hours off. Isaac had an idea that the shitstorm was threatening to become a tsunami.
He took a quick shower before he left; he wanted to give everyone time to get there. When he was dressed and ready to go, Lilli still wasn’t back yet. She ran a fucking long time—which probably accounted for the brilliance of her ass. He left a note on the counter, explaining that he needed to get to the clubhouse but he’d see her later.
~oOo~
Isaac walked into the c
lubhouse and scanned the room. As he walked through the main hall toward the Keep, his brothers fell in line behind him. Showdown came from his right, from the office, and joined Isaac at his side.
“Where’s Wyatt?” He was the only member Isaac hadn’t seen as he moved through the clubhouse.
Show gave him a look as he stepped back, so Isaac could go through the door into their club meeting room first. “Out of touch. You know—he takes his brother out and they do their Wild Man thing every year, camping and fishing and, fuck, howling at the moon for all I know. Left over a week ago. They’ll be off the grid another two weeks.”
Off the grid. Isaac took another couple of steps toward his leather chair at the head of the gleaming ebony table—his own design and creation—and stopped in his tracks as a whole slew of pieces he’d had no idea connected suddenly fell into place.
Wyatt and his younger brother, Ray, were off the grid and had been for more than a week. Ray was an Army vet. Jesus, now that Isaac thought about it, he was pretty sure Ray had been a pilot. He’d done a couple of tours in Afghanistan, and he’d come back pissed and deeply weird. Mostly, these days, he was a hermit and a drunk.
Motherfuck. Was Lilli gunning for Wyatt’s brother? Isaac couldn’t believe he hadn’t made the connection before. He’d spent no small amount of time trying to work out who Lilli was chasing, and Ray had never even fucking entered his consideration. But Ray was club family. When Lilli told him she wasn’t interested in the club, and he’d believed her, he guessed he just stopped thinking about anyone having to do with the Horde.
Oh, Christ. Christ. How could he let her kill a brother’s brother? How could she let him stop her? Had she known all this time that he had a connection to the Horde?
No. No way. He refused to believe she’d known. No.
“Boss?” Show put his hand on Isaac’s shoulder, and Isaac looked around to see everyone sitting, looking at him with varying expressions of curiosity and concern. He cleared his throat and sat down. He was going to need to go back to Lilli as soon as this meeting was over. They needed to fucking talk. But for now, he had to set that aside and focus his attention on the problem of Lawrence Ellis and the coming visit of Kenyon Berry.
Move the Sun (Signal Bend Series) Page 15