by Anya Palvin
"I do." The words were so quiet she was glad she saw them come from his lips or she may have missed them. "I want to be married. I want to have a family." Now he turned to look at her, his face so serious that she was taken aback. "With you. Some day." He smiled, and turned on his side, brushed the hair out of her face. "Diana, I have to tell you something."
Diana tried to be serious, but she couldn't fight the smile that slipped onto her face.
"Why are you smiling?" William frowned.
"I'm not." She covered her hand with her mouth, then said, "You can tell me."
But the words were muffled.
"I can't speak to you when you're smiling for no reason."
Diana moved her hand away. "I have a reason." William raised his eyebrows, but didn't speak. "You said you wanted to get married to me. To start a family. Can't a girl be happy about that?"
William chuckled, and drew her closer for a kiss. "I don't know if I told you this today, but I'm in love with you."
Her smile grew. "I don't know if you did." She kissed him, slowly, gently, letting the heat simmer between them. "Or maybe I just like hearing it."
They left shortly after that, her mind filled with thoughts of the future and her heart heavy with love. She didn't think she had ever been this happy. It was like something had finally given in her life. She had found someone who loved her, someone whom she loved. And the feeling seemed to have filled the gap that her parents' death left in her heart. It wasn't gone – of course it wasn't – but Diana felt relief from the ache that had accompanied her every heartbeat.
She had her interview the next day at a small hotel that had advertised for a concierge. She had been hesitant about going at first when she knew her job was safe at Grace. But both William and Connor had urged her to take the opportunity and gain the experience. She would be nervous when she arrived there, she knew, but at the moment anxiety was dulled by the fact that she knew she didn't need it. She wasn't sure if she would take the opportunity should they offer her the job, but something told her that she probably wouldn't. Life was good as it was, and she couldn't help the thrill of excitement that raced through her when she thought about it.
She was pulled from her thoughts when the car stopped, and she looked with surprise at her little house. "That was quick!"
"Time flies when you're lost in thought." William smiled, but it was off, the light that it usually brought clouded by something.
"Are you okay?" She frowned, her hand finding his.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a long day."
She searched his face, and then nodded at what she saw there. "I won't invite you in then." She softened the words with a wink. "I need to prepare for tomorrow anyway."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes, my interview, remember? You may have tossed it from your mind in despair, but it's still happening." She narrow her eyes when it only cracked a small smile on his face. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'll call you before your interview tomorrow, and then how about we have lunch afterwards?"
"Sure. I can't wait." She pressed a kiss on his lips, and gave him one last worried glance before getting out the car and walking to her house.
William waited until she was in her house, and then pulled away, his head a morass of thoughts. He could have told her when she asked him about marriage, he thought. He should have told her. And he almost had, but then she had gone all giggly about him telling her that he wanted to marry her and he couldn't take away the excitement that he saw there. But now, as he navigated the road home, he cursed himself for not telling her. He had had another opportunity on their way home, but she was lost in thought, barely aware of the silence that had settled between them as he contemplated his dilemma. He had almost said it, had started to, but then she had taken his hand and pressed a kiss into his palm, smiling dreamily at him, and once again, his courage failed him.
It was something that he was going to have to face soon, and irony of the situation was not lost on him. He had been so harsh on her for not telling him the truth. Too harsh, he thought, now that he was in the same situation. He understood now that it wasn't as black and white as he had made it seem. It wasn't just a question of telling the truth. Losing her had become a big factor in his decision, and he realised now, that she had been right about it. Now, he didn't want to think about that as a possibility. He had just admitted to himself that he loved her. He didn't want to lose that before he had a chance to enjoy it. And even as the thought swirled in his head a voice questioned if it was real if he didn't tell her the truth. Love demanded truth, which he of all people should know. It had been dishonesty that had put the final nail into the coffin of his last relationship. The very relationship he was avoiding facing in his current relationship with Diana.
A picture of her face flashed through his mind after he had told her he loved her. The pure love and joy on her face, the innocence of the complete trust that shone from her. And he vowed to tell her the truth.
The next day, he would finally tell Diana about Julia. And hope with everything in him that it didn't mean he would lose her.
15.
"Please have a seat. Mrs Brown will be here in a minute."
Diana smiled her thanks to the perky receptionist, and sat down despite her better judgement. She knew that standing would have given away her nerves, but sitting wouldn't be any better. She resisted the urge to tap her foot, and twined her fingers together to prevent them from tapping the chair's arm. It's going to be fine, she thought to herself, mentally rolling her eyes at the fact that she was nervous for something she was almost certain she didn't want. No, she corrected her thoughts, she was now completely sure that she didn't want this job. She had spent the evening thinking about it and she didn't see the point in starting all over again when the life she had built for herself over the past years was perfectly fine. In fact, since William had come into her life, she could actually say that it was perfect.
A voice in her head cautioned her to go slow, but she ignored it. She trusted him. How could she not when his eyes told her he loved her more strongly than his words ever could? But she shook the picture out of her head, forcing herself to concentrate. William was distraction enough at every other point in her life. Now, he would have to take a backseat so that she could focus on her interview.
She may not have wanted the job, but she didn't believe in burning bridges. Especially since this was the first time since she had started working that she felt validated outside of Grace. Here, there was no brother pulling the strings, no boyfriend making her wonder if she deserved what she had got. So she had got up that morning and had dressed up in a black pencil skirt and red blouse, an outfit she knew made her look professional and capable. She had slipped on the heels that were too high to be practical to give her a boost in confidence, and had pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Diana was fairly certain that the prep she had done over the past week would give her an edge in the interview, and she gave herself a pep talk to make sure that she remembered that in the interview.
"Ms Jones?"
Diana looked up when she heard her name, and almost raised her eyebrows when she saw who she assumed was Mrs Brown. The woman was beautiful. Her brown hair was cut into a pixie-style that highlighted her strong features and perfectly made-up face. She looked a bit like a pixie, except that she was tall and she had a body curved in a slim way that made her look incredibly elegant.1
"Yes, that's me." Diana stood when she realised she was staring, and took the hand that was offered. "Mrs Brown?"
The woman brushed off the formality. "Yes, but please, call me Julia. Mrs Brown is my mother-in-law."5
Diana smiled, and brushed the imaginary lint from her skirt. "Will you be conducting the interview?"
"Yes, along with Uma Thornton, our floor manager, and Helga Florence, one of the concierges who currently do something along the lines of what we would like for you to do here. I'm the Human Resour
ce recruitment agent for the Atom Hospitality Group. You work at Grace Hotel?"
"Yes." Diana warmed up to the woman. She had been prepared to be formal – as formal as she believed interviews required. Yet Julia had a way of making her feel at ease which probably had something to do with the fact that she spoke quite a bit.
"I used to work there, you know?" Julia tilted her head, and Diana wondered if she saw the woman's eyes mist.
"Really? When?"
"Well, my son is about to turn five, so it must be about four and a half years? It wasn't in Cape Town though. It was all over, really. I consulted for Human Resources there too – recruitment and retrenchment – which was quite convenient since I could consult wherever I was." She smiled. "It meant I could spend more time with my husband. Well, ex-husband." The smile dimmed somewhat, and then she turned to Diana and winked. "But you aren't here to hear my rambling about the past. Follow me, and we can begin the session."3
Diana thought the interview went quite well. She was hesitant to provide them with too many details about the job she was currently doing since they were primarily interested in hiring her to do the same thing at their hotel. But she gave them general information, and answered questions without letting her jumping heart speak for her. She couldn't tell if Uma or Helga liked her since stern expressions accompanied their line of questioning most of the time, but every now and then Julia would give her a wink and encouraging smile, which made Diana suspect that the two ladies were testing her. At the end of the interview, both women smiled at her and Diana felt herself ease a little as she realised that her suspicions had been right. She shook their hands, smiled, and felt relief accompany her out the door as Julia walked with her.
"The two of them are generally quite nice." Julia chuckled and shook her head. "I suspect that they were trying to make you feel out. Perhaps they were even testing how you would react when you would have to deal with a challenging guest. Which as you well know can happen from time to time."
"I won't lie and say that it didn't add to the nerves, but it definitely made walking out the room at the end of the room quite the relief." Now that she wasn't as nervous, Diana felt her friendliness kicked back into action. "Thank you so much, Mrs –" Diana stopped when she saw the woman frown, and then rather said, "Julia. Thank you. You made this entire process a lot easier. Especially considering the bad cops I had to deal with." She gestured to the interview room they had just come out of.
"How do you know that I'm not supposed to act like the good cop and try to lure you here with niceness?" Julia looked at her, deadpanned, and then chuckled again after only a few seconds. "I can't even pretend to be a bad cop. Not anymore." She smiled now, but it was sadder, a dimmed version of the smile she had aimed at Diana multiple times since they had met. "I've learnt that that doesn't really get you anywhere in life. In fact, it can destroy it. I've given up that side of myself a long time ago. And it kind of just filtered into my professional life as well." She shrugged. "I don't see the point of torturing interviewees just because I can. Besides," she winked at Diana, "I tend to get a lot better results by being nice."
Diana wasn't entirely sure about what to make of the woman who would give her so much detail of her life without too much prompting. But she did see a sincerity in her that she found endearing.
"Well, I for one think that you being nice kept me from blurting out the first thing that came into my head. So, I thank you again."
Julia smiled. "Yes, well, I'll be in touch as soon as we've seen the other candidates. It should be in the next four weeks, but I'll let you know if you can expect anything later than that." She hesitated, and cleared her throat. "Diana, I know that this might seem quite strange to you, but do you mind if I ask you a question? It's of a personal nature, so please feel free to let me know if I'm overstepping by asking."
Diana frowned, but nodded. "Okay."
"Do you know William King? I mean of course you know him, he's the manager at the hotel. So I take that question back. What I really wanted to know is...how is he?"
Diana felt her world rock a little as her stomach dropped. She wasn't sure why Julia was asking about William, but the familiarity in her tone made Diana think it wasn't professional curiosity. Scenarios flew around in her head, but she tried to stop them, not wanting them to explore her imagination beyond what is proper and force herself to breathe so she cananswer the woman who was looking at her with such expectancy.
"He's fine. From what I can tell." She quickly added, not willing to let the woman suspect that there was something – anything – between her and William besides an employee-employer relationship.
"Really? I know you probably won't speak to him as often, but you can tell me if he still works as much. Do you ever speak to him? Does he seem, I don't know, happy?"
Diana still couldn't place her finger on where Julia's questions were leading to. "He works quite hard, but our hotel is the better for it. The times I have spoken to him he seemed happy enough."
She paused, contemplating whether asking was the right thing to do when she wasn't sure she wanted the answer. "Why?"
The word escaped before she could fully consider its implications, and she suddenly wished with all her might that she could take it back.
Julia was quiet for a moment as though considering what to say. Diana wondered if she would answer, but then she spoke.
"I suppose since I asked it's only fair for me to tell you. Remember when I told you earlier that I worked at Grace a while back, and that I was travelling with my husband?" Diana nodded, her heart beating faster than she thought it could. "Well, my husband was William King."5
Diana felt the blood drain from her face, and fought the desire to sway from it with all her might. "What?"
"I'm sorry, this is probably too much information for you to have to know about your boss."
The words sounded very far off, and Diana had to force herself to push away the rush of emotions and thoughts that wanted to overwhelm her. "No, it's fine. But I really should be going now. I hope to hear from you soon."
Diana didn't wait to hear Julia's response, and walked out of the building in a daze. She had taken a taxi to the hotel that morning, and was intending to call William when she was done so that they could go to lunch. But that was the last thing she wanted to do now. She forced herself to pause, and she leaned back against the outside wall at the front of the hotel, ignoring the curious looks from passers-by. Focus, she instructed herself, and gave the pounding in her head a chance to subside. Once it had, she called Connor. The conversation was brief, and she was grateful that he sounded distracted. She didn't want to explain – she couldn't talk about it until she had a chance to sort out everything whirling inside of her. She didn't have to wait very long, but it was enough time for her to compose herself.
"Hey." She said as she got in the car and strapped herself in.
"Hey." Connor said, glancing at her before he pulled back into traffic. "How did it go?"
"It was good, I think." She paced her words evenly. "They said they would call me in the next month to let me know. There may be other candidates."
"It's strange that I'm in two minds about this. On the one hand, I want you to get this so that it can prove to you everything we've been telling you – that you're awesome. On the other hand, I want them to be the fools I think that they are – in my professional capacity as their competitor, of course – and pass you by so we can keep you." He grinned, and Diana gave him a weak smile. She could pretend to speak, pretend to be fine, but the skills to laugh, to be happy, went above her capabilities.
"Hey." Connor looked over to her with a frown. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm just a little edgy from the excitement of the day. Could you drop me at home?"
Diana was suddenly immensely grateful that she had taken the entire day off from work. She had intended on spending the day with William – it had been one of the things that had given her just a little more motivation t
o get through the interview – but that wasn't even a possibility now.
Her response seemed to placate Connor, although she knew he kept shooting glances at her when he thought she wasn't looking. She pretending not to notice, and stared out the window, watching the sea that lay just beyond the houses they drove past. It was still bright afternoon, the day a typically warm one for February in Cape Town. She could see the tiny figures on the beach capitalising on the sunshine, and she wondered, not for the first time, whether those people had jobs. Did they not have to work for a living? Probably not, she thought, thinking about the area she lived in. It was one of the richer suburbs in the Cape, and because of its ocean and, from some angles, mountain views, houses easily went for many millions. She knew that if she wanted to sell the house she had inherited from her mother, she could make enough money to last her for years. But money meant very little in comparison to the emotional value of her house. She felt it as she waved goodbye to her brother and walked through her front door, the feeling of home making her feel so safe that she closed the door and leaned against it, her energy barely enough to take her to the couch.
Her breathing came a little too fast as she finally allowed herself to think about what Julia had told her. She focused on inhaling and exhaling, but a few minutes of that made her realise that she was going to need something a little stronger than her yoga breathing techniques. She kicked her shoes off, and walked to her kitchen, putting the kettle on and fetching the whiskey from the counter. She needed the calm of tea with the kick of alcohol – she didn't know if that made sense, but she couldn't think rationally. He had a wife. The words kept repeating themselves over and over again in her head. And he didn't tell me about it. This thought was the more disturbing one, maybe because the first was in the past tense. Julia had said it. William was her ex-husband. That was something, wasn't it? Diana's hands shook as she poured the boiling water in a mug. She stopped, tried to steady it, and then liberally poured from the whiskey bottle when her attempts didn't work. Then, when she tested the tea and found it too be too hot, she took a long drink straight from the whiskey bottle instead. The burning in her throat stopped her from taking another, but it helped help steady her.