I nod. “Something like that.”
Fuck. More like everything like that.
“Take care, Derek.” She moves toward the door, stepping into her fuck-me heels, and turns to face me, lifting her hand to my cheek. “She’s a lucky woman, whoever she is. Just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
She places a pointed finger against the left side of my chest. “If you truly care about her, let her in there.”
I place my hand over hers and pull it away. I haven’t let anyone in there in over two years, and I’m not even certain the stupid thing functions anymore.
“Thanks for the advice, Kes.” Unfortunately, I won’t be needing it.
“Had I known February was going to be our last time, I would’ve worn that stupid French maid costume you always wanted me to wear.” She laughs, her green eyes lighting. Everything about Kesley is pretty and simple, and though I never took the time to get to know her that well, I’m positive she’s going to make some man very lucky someday.
“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” I say. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”
“No regrets.” She shrugs, smiling, and reaches for the door.
And with that, my arrangement with Kesley Black has officially dissolved.
I head to bed, setting my phone on my nightstand, and I check it once last time, like a lust-sick moron, and find nothing. Rolling over to the spot where I claimed Serena’s body last night, I grab the pillow she buried her head into while I entered her from behind. It smells like her. Grabbing a fistful of downy fabric, I chuck it across the room.
I’m not angry at her.
I’m angry at myself and my ridiculous inability to pull my head out of my ass and stop moping around like an imbecile.
Chapter 28
Serena
We finish our drinks at the bar and head up to the suite Keir reserved to speak in private. I take a seat on the far side of a herringbone-printed loveseat and cross my legs, tuning my full attention his way.
“All right,” I say. The cocktail I just enjoyed is sweeping through me, making everything warm and mellow despite tonight’s turn of events. “Tell me everything. And stay on that side of the room. I don’t think you’re capable of keeping your hands to yourself tonight.”
Keir mixes himself a Belvedere and soda from the mini bar and steps closer. He slips his suit jacket from his shoulders and takes a seat at a table-for-two a solid six feet away, never taking his eyes off me. The way he drinks me in makes me long for the days when we were happy, when our love was shiny and new, and when our futures were a delicious daydream we were quickly shaping into a reality.
“I’ve done many things I’m not proud of. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. I have a disgraceful number of regrets for a man my age.” Keir spins a crystal tumbler between his thumb and forefinger, glancing away for a second before returning his ocean blues my way. “But hurting you? That’s the biggest regret of them all.”
“If you’re trying to garner my sympathies, it isn’t working.” My words are dry and callous, and he deserves every one of them.
“Veronica approached me several months ago.” He clears his throat before taking a swig of his drink. “She asked me to meet her for dinner because she had a proposal she wanted to run by me. I assumed it had to do with the wedding, so like a dutiful future son-in-law, I agreed.”
He tucks his head, running his thumb along his brow bone.
“Instead,” he says. “Her proposal involved paying me to have sex with two of your friends and ensuring that you’d walk in on it.” He shakes his head, huffing. “Fifteen million dollars to buy my unfaithfulness.”
“Jesus, Keir. Why?” My lips tremble. The familiar ache in my chest is my heart breaking all over again. “You knew I had money. You were marrying me. You didn’t need the money. Christ, your family has money. Did I mean that little to you?”
“No, no.” His jaw tightens. “You meant the world to me, Serena. You still do.”
“I don’t understand why you’d agree to something like that, especially when you weren’t exactly hurting for money in the first place.”
“My family has money, sure, but I won’t see an ounce of it until they’re long gone, and let’s face it, Montgomerys tend to fucking live forever.” He sighs, as if it’s a bad thing. “And to be honest, I secretly resented that you were going to have to take care of us after we married. I wanted to bring something to the table. I didn’t want to be some pathetic leech.”
“What made you think we’d still be getting married after I walked in on you screwing two of my best friends?”
He shakes his head, tugging his lower lip between his teeth and releasing a defeated laugh. “That’s just it. I wasn’t thinking. I guess I was blinded by dollar signs because I truly believed you’d forgive me. I thought our love was powerful enough to get through this. I thought it’d be a small hiccup.”
I sulk. “A small hiccup. Are you kidding me?”
“I know. I was so transformed by her offer; I didn’t think it through. I just went for it. And you should know that Natasha and Tenley aren’t your friends, because they didn’t bat a lash when I presented the idea to them.”
I snort, picking at a thread in the arm of the loveseat.
Bitches.
Although, I guess I could say now that they did me a solid. I’d have been marrying a man stupid enough to claim he loved me and reckless enough to think I’d forgive his self-serving indiscretions.
I glance around the room, my eyes washing over the expensive lamps and the modern wallpaper, and none of it feels like home.
If I could be anywhere right now, I’d be lounging on Derek’s sofa, in his apartment, razzing him and pretending I wasn’t wildly attracted to him and two seconds from jumping his bones.
“Why would Veronica want to do this to me?” I look up at Keir, who’s despondently nursing his drink like he’s the victim.
“I don’t know, Serena. I think she just wanted to hurt you. To take the only thing you’ve ever loved. She wanted you to fall apart.” He blows a steady breath, looking back at me. “And that’s exactly what you did.”
Chapter 29
Derek
Sweat beads from my forehead as I return from my run Sunday evening. I took Haven back to her mother’s earlier, then came back for a run because, apparently, I needed more than a two-hour drive to clear my head.
I peel off my clothes and climb in the shower, my breaths stabilizing and my thoughts finally clearing, and when I step out, my phone is vibrating against the bathroom counter.
It’s Demi.
“What’s going on?” I answer, steam clouding my screen as I put it on speaker. Grabbing a towel, I dry off and wrap it snug around my waist.
“Thank God you answered.” Demi’s voice is breathy, and my heart sinks.
“What? What is it?” I can’t stand when she does this to me and she knows it.
“Have you heard?”
“Heard what?” My hands grip my towel until my knuckles whiten.
“I’m looking online,” she says. “There’s this story going around. And pictures. From last night.”
“About what?”
“Serena.”
There’s a tightness in my chest that takes all the strength I have to ignore, and a mix of emotions steal my words and render me temporarily speechless.
“It’s all over Page Six’s website. Radar Online. TMZ.” Demi exhales into the phone. “Apparently, Serena was with Keir Montgomery last night. There are photos of them leaving a bar and going to the Gramercy Hotel. Did you know she was going back to the city to see him?”
I see red for a moment. And then black. I’m not sure how much times passes, but I’m brought out of my time warp when I hear Demi repeating my name over and over.
“I’m still here,” I say.
“Okay, because there’s more.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Acc
ording to a source, Page Six is saying Serena has been physically involved with her conservator, attorney Derek Rosewood of Rosewood and Rosewood, LLP.”
“Fuck.” I slam my fist against the granite, but I don’t feel a thing.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to get involved.
Attorney-client sexual relations violate the Model Code and Model Rules.
This is bad. This is really, really bad. And I knew better. I fucking knew better.
“Thanks for the heads up, Dem.” I end the call and attempt to finish getting ready while simultaneously inhaling the photos of Serena and Keir that litter the internet.
In one photo, just outside the hotel, his hand rests on the small of her back and he’s leaning in close, whispering in her ear.
I can’t think straight.
I can’t see straight.
And when I finally walk out of my room, the first thing I see is her.
Chapter 30
Serena
“Hey.” I’m standing in the middle of his apartment foyer, my heart recovering from the leap it took when I heard the clink of his doorknob. I’d been out here at least a half-hour, and I wasn’t sure if he was hiding from me.
Or if he’d heard the latest gossip.
Derek brushes past me, making his way into the kitchen and more or less pretending I’m not there.
“Did you and Haven have a nice weekend?” I follow, speaking to the backside of him.
“Why are you here?”
My hand lifts slowly to my chest. “I beg your pardon?”
When he turns to face me, his expression is hard, filled with the kind of resentment he probably reserves for his ex-wife.
“You went to the city to see your ex,” he says. “The one who fucked you over.”
I laugh. He has seen the articles. “I can explain.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Clearly, you’ve read the articles, and you know as well as I that they just write what they want to write.” I step around the kitchen island and move closer. “Whatever sells. Doesn’t have to be true.”
“I saw the photos.” He moves away from me, his jaw flexing and clenching. “But it doesn’t fucking matter, because you’re not mine. You don’t belong to me. I’m not your boyfriend. But tell me, Serena, why is Page Six reporting that you have a sexual relationship with your attorney? Do you understand what this means? What this could potentially to do to my career?”
I lean over the edge of the island, elbows resting and face buried in my hands. “I’m so sorry, Derek.”
“What the hell did you do, Serena? Who did you tell? Why would you . . .”
I dare myself to look him in the eyes. To face what I’ve done. “I take full responsibility.”
“How honorable of you.” He moves to the sink, his back to me once again.
“I went to the city to visit Poppy. She’s one of my best friends.” I exhale. “Was. Was one of my best friends.”
“You know, it really doesn’t fucking matter at this point.” He laughs a mean sort of laugh. “The damage has been done. All it’s going to take is one person filing a complaint against me, and an investigation will be launched.”
“Can’t we just deny everything?”
“Yes, because lawyers lying during their own investigation isn’t one hundred percent grounds for permanent disbarment.”
“We were having a girls’ weekend,” I say. “It felt good to talk about something nice for a change, and I talked about you. The fun we had. How great you are in bed . . .”
“Save it.”
I ignore him because he needs to hear this, and this may be the last time I get the chance to tell him.
“We went out for drinks last night. Keir showed up. Poppy tipped him off,” I say. “Apparently, they’ve been talking, and she wanted us to get back together. She thought she was helping. Anyway, Keir wouldn’t leave me alone. And the paparazzi showed up, and I had no way to get out of there, so he dropped me off at a hotel.”
Derek laughs. He doesn’t believe me. And that’s fair. I know how far-fetched my story sounds, but every word of it is true whether he chooses to believe it.
“As I was walking away, he stopped me. Said he had a confession to make,” I continue. “I let him come upstairs so we could talk in private.”
He faces me, perfect lips pulled into a sneer. “Do I look that naïve to you, Serena?”
“He told me Veronica put him up to everything. She paid him fifteen million dollars to cheat on me and to make sure I caught him. She wanted me to see, to get upset. She wanted me to come unhinged so it would set the wheels in motion for her master plan.”
“Oh. Okay. So I get it. Since he was bribed, everything is okay now. You’re going to forgive him. Go back to your old life and those Satan spawn friends of yours. Good fucking riddance.”
My brows arch and meet, and I step toward him. Something takes over. I don’t know what it is. All I know is within seconds, my palm is stinging from the slap I just gave him, and he stands there, stoic and unmoved, taking it like a man with no soul.
“No,” I say. “It doesn’t make it okay. I haven’t forgiven him. And I don’t do second chances.”
Before he has a chance to respond, I’m at the door. Leaving.
By the time I hit the sidewalk outside his place, I realize I have no purse. No wallet. No phone.
I have no idea where I’m going to go, but I can’t go back in there. Derek’s not in a mood where I can reason with him, and he has every right to be angry with me. His career is on the line, and for what?
Because I selfishly seduced him.
My feet ache in my flats, and a brisk draft blows my blouse as I pace the sidewalks of downtown Rixton Falls.
I don’t know where I am or what time it is. I only know I’m not ready to go back yet.
The crunch of tires on gravel pulls my attention to a little alley parking lot, and the driver’s side window rolls down.
“Serena?” A woman’s voice calls.
Upon closer look, I recognize the driver immediately.
“Demi.” I step toward her and force a smile on my face.
“What are you doing out here? Where’s my brother?”
“I’m just walking. He’s at home.”
She studies me, frowning. “What’d he do now?”
I laugh. “Everything’s fine.”
“You look sad. He was an asshole, wasn’t he? What’d he do?” Her face falls. “This is about the pictures, isn’t it? The articles?”
My lower lip trembles. “He didn’t do anything. It was all me.”
Demi scrunches her lips. “Get in. Let’s talk.”
We drive for what feels like hours, and Demi rattles on about how difficult her brother can be, how it takes a special person to give him a chance in the first place, how she only loves him because he’s family and if he weren’t, she’d label him a giant asshole who only cares about his career and his daughter. She says she’s been telling him for years to open up a little more. To be nicer. To let people in. And then she tells me about the divorce and Kyla and how the only time she sees him smile anymore is when he has Haven.
And then she tells me if I want to get back with Keir, that I shouldn’t let Derek dissuade me. That I’m my own person, and I have to do what’s best for me.
“Thank you, Demi. But you should know, I’m not back with Keir,” I say after a while. “And truly. Derek didn’t do anything. It was all me.”
“Psh.” She swats the air. “My brother’s not perfect. You don’t have to shoulder the blame. Every fight is fifty-fifty. That’s what our father always says.”
I stare out the window for a moment, gathering my thoughts.
“I may have told a friend about . . . our indiscretions.” I swallow the hard ball in my throat. “And it turns out, that friend wasn’t such a good friend after all, because she sold that information.”
Demi inhales quickly, her hand splaying across her mouth. “H
ow awful, Serena.”
“So Derek is upset,” I say. “And rightfully so. He was so angry earlier. I really don’t want to go back there. I think I should give him space.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“I have no clue. All my things are back there. My wallet. My phone.” I rest my elbow against the door and press my forehead against my hand. “He was fuming, and I didn’t think. I just ran.”
“You’re staying with me.” Demi pulls to a stop sign and turns to me.
“I couldn’t do that to you.”
“I insist.” She nods. “You can stay with us as long as you need. And tomorrow, when my brother’s at work, I’ll drive you back to his place so you can go in and get your things.”
“Wow . . . Thank you, Demi. So sweet of you.”
She smiles, her gaze soft and motherly, and I instantly wish we were best friends. Everything about her is genuine and honeyed, and not once has she commented on anything remotely related to my appearance.
“It’s nothing.” She swats her hand, and we head to her place.
I’m not sure when I’ll see Derek again, but at this rate, I’m not sure he’ll ever want to see me again.
Chapter 31
Derek
Four days ago, Serena walked out of my apartment.
Three days ago, I returned from work to find the guest room cleared out.
Two days ago, on a whim and after consuming no fewer than six bottles of Heineken, I called every hotel in a thirty-mile radius to see if she was there.
She wasn’t.
Yesterday, my father was forced to place me on paid leave pending the third-party investigation of a complaint filed against me for sleeping with a client.
As far as I know, Serena packed up and headed back to the city. She’s probably shacking up with that silver-spooned asshat who’s incapable of taking a photo that doesn’t include his signature smug grin.
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