“Then wed the lass and have done with the whole affair.”
Aaron stared at Niall in disbelief. As if the matter were that simple.
There was naught straightforward about his relationship with Mairi. Other than she owned his heart in full. There was no question of that. She always would.
From the start, when he’d learned she was MacGregor’s sister, he realized then that their meeting was ill-fated. Not a damned thing in this life or the next could change who they were or his imprudent feelings for the woman.
Of course, the notion of marriage had entered his mind more times than he could recount. Saints, even when he’d sunk to his lowest, the mere thought of claiming Mairi as his own left him with a sliver of hope when he imagined all else lost. ’Twas naught but a ridiculous, impossible dream then. And mayhap, even more of one now.
Even if he convinced Mairi to wed him, Niall had overlooked one significant detail—a rather large, bullish one—that never slipped too far from Aaron’s mind.
“And what of her imposing laird of a brother?” With a tilt of his head, he narrowed his eyes. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’m fairly certain the man intends to end my life this time.”
“Then you know what you must do, Aaron.” Niall’s quiet words roared in the silence of the chamber. “MacGregor shall spare you if you let her go.”
The sobering words left an unbearable ache in his chest. Bowing his head, he screwed his eyes shut. Given a choice between death and letting Mairi go, the thought of death did not seem anywhere near as painful.
Chapter Twenty
’TWAS WELL PAST midnight, long after Aaron left her standing in the doorway gaping like a fool, when Mairi deserted the notion of finding solace in slumber. Too many thoughts crowded her head, hindering sleep altogether.
Reluctant to toss and turn any longer, she rose from bed and padded across the chamber to sit in the chair near the hearth. Tucking her legs beneath her, she wrapped her arms around her knees and watched the fire’s flickering flames.
Her emotions swam too close to the surface, overwhelming her with the urge to cry. Unshed tears burned behind her eyes and she cursed the feminine weakness. Despite her best efforts to restrain them, a stray droplet slipped down her cheek, followed by another.
Saints, she was ridiculous.
Annoyed with herself, she angrily swiped away the wetness with the sleeves of her nightgown.
Without cease, she never failed to allow Aaron MacRae to provoke her. One look from the man or, in this case, his mere silence struck straight to the core.
Despite the fact he captured her heart long before, the past sennight had drawn her deeper under his spell. His thoughtful consideration during her sickness and constant companionship of late lulled her into believing he might truly love her. And yet, he’d never actually spoken the words to her which sent her emotions toppling askew.
She considered herself a perceptive woman but, for the life of her, she could not understand the man to save her soul.
When she broached the subject of the pass earlier, ’twas her intent to goad a response from him—to tug some spoken confirmation of his feelings for her from the man. To her utter disappointment, he held fast to his silence, unwilling to surrender the words she longed to hear. In truth, his silence stung more than she cared to admit.
’Twas no surprise she must return to her kin. Aaron had known that as well as she had. But afterward, what was to happen then? Would he simply let her walk away?
Was that to be the end of things between them?
The unsettling notion pained her. More tears slid free and she growled in frustration. Why had she allowed herself to fall hopelessly in love with the man?
The groan of the metal hinges creaked as the door opened. Squeezing her eyes shut, she did not have to peer over her shoulder to discern who’d entered. She knew it was Aaron as sure as she would draw her next breath.
She’d grown accustomed to his quiet steps in the last sennight. Despite his best efforts to remain silent, she was fully aware the man slipped into her chamber each eve to check the fire and tuck the furs tighter around her. And each time, she’d lain still, feigning sleep while her heart sprinted wildly in her chest, much akin to the frantic beat at present.
The faint pad of his boots drew closer. Her stomach lurched and fluttered with nervousness, his nearness affecting her as usual. She heard the shift of air and felt the slight warmth of his frame before his large hand caressed her cheek.
His soft touch almost rent her shaky will in two. She resisted the urge to lean into his warm palm. Opening her eyes, she found him kneeling before her, his elbows propped on the chair arms around her. As was his nature, his soul-shattering gaze watched her closely. Traces of melancholy lingered in his dark eyes which mirrored the sadness residing in her chest.
Mairi swallowed the lump of emotion lodged in her throat. “Why are you here?”
His sable brows pulled low while worry creased his forehead. He swiped his thumb over her cheek, brushing away the lingering wetness. “Why are you crying?”
The concern in his soft words almost drew more tears from her. With a faint lift of her shoulder, she turned her head aside, away from the force of his stare. He was not the only one who could remain stubbornly silent.
With a firm hand beneath her chin, he tugged her gaze back to his. “Because of me?”
“If you must know, then aye, because of you,” she snapped out in a churlish tone.
Gripping the chair arms, Aaron bowed his head. Regardless of her frustration with him, ’twas a struggle not to run her fingers through the rich, dark mass of his hair.
When he lifted his gaze, a wealth of sorrow hung from his features. He straightened to his feet and began to wear a path in the small stretch of floor between her and the hearth. His step faltered and he met her stare. The troubled expression etched over his countenance prompted her to hold her breath.
“Throughout the span of our acquaintance, I’ve never understood what you’ve seen in me. Or how you could care for me after the things I have done to you. Despite my foolish deeds and careless words, even though I’ve tried to shove you aside, you’ve held fast in your efforts to prove I am a better man.” Releasing a gust of air, he raked a hand through his hair. “I’m not, Mairi. I’m a selfish man and I suspect that shall never change.”
Lowering her feet to the floor, she straightened in her seat. “You’re not selfish.”
“Even after I’ve hurt you, you still seek to defend me.” He bit out a harsh laugh. “Why?”
A thousand reasons sifted through her mind, but one stood firm. Retaining her silence, she clasped her hands in her lap, squeezing her fingers in a wringing grip. He knew why as well as she did.
“I deceived you,” he stated with a lift of his chin. “The pass opened two days ago.”
The admission sucked the air from her lungs, rendering her speechless.
Two days?
Her mind reeled from the revelation. The realization she could’ve sat in her brother’s hall or slept in her own bed that very instant staggered her. After she’d fretted over her kin’s safety in the harsh conditions, how could he have known for days but not spoken a word to her? Regardless of her godforsaken feelings for the man, she’d never demanded anything more of him other than truth and respect. How could he betray her trust?
A flush of anger shoved aside her shock. She bolted to her bare feet, heedless of the chilled stone floor.
“Why did you not tell me?” she demanded in a growl.
He stood mute as still as a stone, watching her with that penetrating stare which tore at her waning defenses and made her wish to scream at the same time. His silence spurred her fury, propelling her forward. She shoved hard at his chest, but the blasted man did not budge an inch. Overcome by her frustration, hot tears scalded her cheeks.
“Why?” she shouted in his face.
*
HER PAINED CRY, coupled with the distress plastered over her comely features
, flayed Aaron to the bone. The final vestige of his restraint snapped in two.
“Because I cannot let you go!” The words clawed from his throat in a violent roar.
Mairi’s stricken features paled and her red-rimmed eyes rounded.
Now that the dam had ruptured, the words spilled from him in an angry rush. “For Christ’s sake, do you not understand? I love you, damn it! ’Tis impossible to remember a time when I have not. I know I should’ve spoken the truth sooner and sent for your family, but how the hell could I do that? Not when the mere thought of losing you practically guts me. The last time nearly destroyed me, so how the devil am I to survive the loss again?” He shook his head. “I fear I cannot.”
Ill at ease with his outburst, Aaron snapped his mouth shut while his chest rose and fell from the force of his confession.
For long moments, the yawning silence heightened his discomfort to the point he nearly turned and fled the chamber. Then, Mairi moved one step closer, her icy stare impaling him in place.
A shuddered breath left her parted lips. “You love me?”
The trace of hope in her hushed tone cut straight to his heart. Suddenly, he could not suffer another instant without touching her. He framed her comely face in his hands.
“Aye, I do,” he admitted. “How could I not?”
Her raven brows pinched together. “Why did you never tell me?”
“In what world could I ever deserve you?” His thumbs brushed away the remaining dampness from her cheeks. “You are sheer perfection in my eyes. From your kind, understanding heart to your bold, fiery nature, everything about you soothes the discontent inside me. Your beautiful smile and enthralling gaze captured me from the first moment we met. I am not a wealthy man, Mairi. I have naught of consequence to offer you except my useless heart.”
A captivating smile crept over her features, softening her beautiful countenance. She lifted on her tiptoes and placed a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“’Tis not useless to me, Aaron MacRae.” Her warm breath fanned over his lips. “I love you.”
Christ, how many times had he dreamed of her saying the same words to him?
Who could’ve thought one simple phrase might’ve dropped him to his knees. The incessant vise gripping his chest released all at once, and his chest expanded with a flush of fresh air. Shaken by her declaration, he wavered on his weak legs.
Electing to sit before he stumbled to his arse, he managed the short distance to the chair, leading her by the hand with him. Once he settled in the seat, he urged her down on his lap. Comforted by the weight of her, he enfolded Mairi in his arms and clung to her. His sweet lass twined her arms around his neck and lowered her head to his shoulder.
Aaron could not say how long they held each other, watching the wood burn in the hearth. Nor did he care. He was merely content to feel her warmth against his chest and listen to the soft cadence of her breathing while her finger traced circles over the front of his tunic.
Alas, when Mairi leaned up to plant a lingering kiss on his lips, she stirred an entirely different response from him—one he’d repressed for far too long. His desire for her awakened in full force.
He slid his fingers into her unbound tresses. With a light tug, he angled her head back to deepen the kiss. His tongue delved into the warmth of her mouth. Like a man starved, he drank in her intoxicating flavor, a taste he’d never tire of. His passionate lass met each bold stroke with one of her own, their tongues dueling in a rousing tangle.
Her fingers gripped the hair at his nape, pulling with a slight wrench that fed his ardor. She shifted the lush curves of her bottom over his lap, enflaming his reaction. His entire body burned from the inside out and it had naught to do with the fire feet away. Below the belt, his manhood stirred in response and he dragged his mouth from hers with a curse.
Panting to catch his breath, he leaned his forehead against her flushed cheek. “We cannot.”
With her hands on his chest, Mairi sat upright, wiggling over his arousal and a groan slipped from his throat. The heat in her light eyes fired his blood to a boil.
Desperate for a bit of space to clear his head, he scooped her in his arms, ignoring her squeak of surprise, and rose from the seat. He deposited her in the chair and turned away to face the hearth, sucking in one steadying breath after another.
“Why?” Her faint query rang in his ears.
He did not have to hear the soft pad of her bare feet to know she’d moved to stand behind him. The slight weight of her hand pressed on his shoulder and he slammed his eyes shut.
Christ, could she not comprehend that he slipped too close to the edge, what was left of his restraint staggering along a frayed line? There in his bedchamber, with the woman he loved more than life itself, it would be too simple to claim her for his own.
Of all times for his misplaced honor to rear its fickle head, he reminded himself she was a lady, first and foremost. And an innocent one at that, if he wagered a guess. Grasping for the threadbare sliver of his control, he spun to face her.
“Because I shall not stop, Mairi.” Grabbing her around the middle, he hauled her flush against his body and the growing arousal between his legs. “I will not cease until I’ve claimed every part of you.”
Firelight sparkled in her beautiful, wide eyes. “Then I hope you never stop.”
The bold declaration fractured his good intentions into a thousand shattered pieces. Any sound reason he clutched hold of fled completely. In that instant, he did not tuck his tail and run as he’d done in the past. For once in his life, he charged ahead and seized the single thing he desired most.
Chapter Twenty-One
ELATION SWELLED IN Mairi’s chest when he captured her mouth in a demanding kiss that curled her toes. Strong fingers tangled in her hair while the band of his arm held her tight against his hardened frame. Lost in the flurry of sensation he awakened within her, she yielded to his firm command. With a final sweep of his tongue, he pulled free of her mouth, leaving her panting to catch her breath.
“Be sure, Mairi.”
The heat in his brown eyes and the thick rasp of his voice slid over her, rushing a shiver down her spine. She’d never been more certain of anything in her life. For more than a year, she dreamed of this moment—when he would finally claim her as his own.
“I am.” The words left her in a breathless whisper.
With a curt nod, he stepped back and bent to scoop her in his arms. In a few long strides, he reached the bed and settled her atop the furs. His intense gaze never left hers as he relieved himself of his boots.
Once his hand gripped the bottom of his tunic, she sat up straighter, her spine as stiff as a board. He swept the coarse linen over his head in one fluid motion, exposing an expanse of his bare skin. For several moments, she could not dislodge her gaze from the dark dusting of hair trailing from the breadth of his chest down to his lean stomach, disappearing beneath his braies.
As he turned to drop the tunic beside his boots on the floor behind him, she spied the white lines marring the flesh along his side. In a flash, her ardor cooled and she scrambled upright on her knees.
“Wait,” she blurted.
He cast her a cautious glance but held his stance.
Curious, she moved closer to the edge of the bed to inspect the old wounds. When her fingers grazed over the marks, his body stiffened beneath the slight touch. She’d noticed the scars the first night she’d arrived but had promptly forgotten them after her warm welcome.
Pressing against his shoulder, she urged him to turn toward the firelight. Just when she thought he might argue, he shifted to present her a clear view of his back. Her mouth sagged at the sight. The pale white lines along his sides widened into a series of crossed darkened strips of raised flesh over his lower back, the unmistakable scars left from a brutal lashing. Frowning, she traced over the smooth, blemished skin.
“What happened?”
With his gaze riveted on the stone wall in front
of him, he lifted a shoulder with an indifferent shrug. “My father.”
“’Tis a good thing the man’s dead,” Mairi growled.
He sputtered out a laugh and eased forward to face her. “Aye, ’tis.”
Compelled to comfort him, she wrapped her arms around his middle and laid her ear over the steady thump of his heart. “I’m sorry.”
With this thumb and forefinger, he tugged her chin up. “Do not think on it. I certainly do not. ’Twas long ago. What’s done is done. At least, he cannot hurt anyone any longer.” Brushing a lingering kiss over her mouth, he smiled against her lips. “Shall we continue?”
“Aye,” she breathed.
Sinking back on her heels, she rested her hands over the nightgown covering her thighs and waited for him to proceed disrobing.
Once he loosened the ties of his braies, the pulse in her throat thrummed wildly. Despite her bold nature, a tremor of unease darted through her limbs at her inexperience.
Searching her features as was his usual practice, he raised a questioning brow. “Second thoughts?”
“Nay, ’tis just…I’ve never…” She flapped a hand as if to explain.
Framing her face between his hands, he bent over her and covered her mouth. Each time Aaron kissed her, he scattered her worries and stretched the tension in the pit of her belly tighter. She could spend the rest of her days kissing him and naught would content her more.
Breaking the connection with a slight nip to her bottom lip, he held her elbows, lifting her onto her knees. His hands drifted to the lacings of the gown at her shoulders and she shivered in anticipation. Holding her gaze, he loosened the ties to slide the fabric down her arms and over her chest. Once the back of his fingers grazed over her breast and the hardened tip, she bit her bottom lip.
“Lie back, angel.”
As he helped ease her down on her back atop the furs, he divested her of her gown, leaving her bare to his view. ’Twas hard to not shield herself with her hands as his heated stare appraised every nude inch of her.
Aaron gripped the waist of his braies and the fabric fell away. His manhood sprang free, snaring her undivided attention. The sight of his arousal caught her off guard. Her heart thundered in her ears, while deep breaths wheezed out of her. In truth, she was not sure what to expect but ’twas not that.
Reckless Scotland: A Scottish Medieval Romance Bundle Page 138