‘Ready now?’ Kate gently prompted.
‘Yeah. Well … Andrew is … that is … well, he certainly was – at least back in our early days –’
But she had to struggle a bit, to find the right words here. Tough sentence that particular one, to have to finish without choking up. Mainly because when Andrew had been good, God, but he’d been amazing.
All kinds of memories started to resurface. How thoughtful he was in small ways. How kind he’d always been to her mother and all her family. Even insisted on whisking her Mum off to Marbella on holiday with them twice a year, knowing the poor woman would never have been able to afford it otherwise.
But then, Lucy’s family were what his side would snobbishly have called blue collar, compared with someone as classy as Andrew. Yet it was touching how hard he’d worked to try and fit in with them all. He was forever inviting the whole lot of them round for dinner, or else hosting her entire extended family – seventeen of them in total, in-laws included – at expensive restaurants in town. Then he’d discreetly take care of the bill when no one was watching, so as not to embarrass anyone.
In spite of herself, Lucy thought back to the way he’d gamely pitch up at countless of her nieces’ and nephews’ First Communions and Confirmations. These past few years, the way he’d muck in with the rest of them, even though it was so glaringly obvious he’d little in common with any of Lucy’s brothers or the rest of her male in-laws, most of whom just wanted to sit round the telly, drinking beer from the tin and talking about the soccer results.
Andrew on the other hand, was more of an opera and fine wine type of guy, yet never once did he complain. Never once did he groan at Lucy and say, ‘Not another night out with your relations again!’ Like so many of her ex-boyfriends had in the past. Not even when one of Lucy’s five-year-old nieces clambered up to him and said, ‘Are you really married to Auntie Lucy? You’re so old! You’re like, the same age as my Grandad!’
Not even when Lucy’s boisterous godson accidentally spilt tomato ketchup all over his favourite Italian silk shirt.
Then there was the way he’d bring her a mug of tea and toast in bed every single morning without fail, even though he’d a far more gruelling day ahead of him than she had. How he’d tease her about reading HELLO! and OK! magazine, tell her that they’d melt her brain, yet still go out and buy them for her, without her ever once having to ask.
‘Lucy?’ Kate interrupted her thoughts.
‘Sorry,’ she said and for the first time, she turned to face Andrew, who was now looking over at her intently. ‘Look, the thing is, to be perfectly fair, you tried your best to be a fantastic husband.’
‘And you were never anything less than a wonderful wife,’ he smiled gamely back at her. ‘Please know that whatever the outcome of the next few days, I’ll cherish the memories of our married life together for always.’
‘Thank you …’ Lucy struggled to get out, ‘and for my part … well, you and I were compatible on just about every level you could think of. We’ve exactly the same sense of humour, and … well, and …’ but she abruptly broke off here. Because the tail end of that sentence was ‘sexually, I always had a fantastic time with you. In bed, it was incredible.’
But she couldn’t, not here, not now. Fine to talk about your overactive sex life to Bianca over a few mojitos in a late night bar, but somehow in this posh library, with a stranger staring down at her over a clipboard, it just didn’t seem appropriate somehow.
‘You see, Andrew is – that is, or at least he was … in many ways – my ideal man, really,’ she told Kate, trailing off a bit. But then that was easy enough to say, because Andrew wasn’t exactly the problem here, was he?
‘Thank you,’ he said simply in return. ‘And you know for my part … well, it goes without saying, I feel the same.’
‘Oh well now, isn’t that just lovely?’ Kate beamed delightedly. ‘Very good. Well done, you two. For the moment, let’s keep focusing on all the positives about your relationship before we move on. So when would you both say conflict began to creep into the marriage?’
And now here it is. Here we fecking well go, Lucy thought, steeling herself. Don’t jump in feet first, though. Don’t let your first sentence be, ‘He and I were happy, shame about the spawn of the devil that he and his ex-wife managed to produce, who drove us to this sorry end.’
‘I should point out here that I’ve got two grown-up kids from my first marriage, Alannah and Josh,’ Andrew said, smoothly taking over. ‘Adult twins, as it happens. And then of course, there’s my ex-wife Greta too. And naturally, they need to be looked after as best I can.’
‘Which I totally agreed with,’ Lucy interrupted, addressing Andrew directly now. ‘And if nothing else, I’ve always respected the fact that you’re so good to your children.’
Well done, she told herself. You sound like a reasonable, balanced woman here. So far, so good.
‘Let’s talk about your other family then, Andrew,’ said Kate, still looking pleased that they were being so civilized towards each other.
‘Well, to be perfectly honest, it’s Alannah and Josh that first started this whole bloody nightmare we’re stuck in …’ Lucy blurted out.
‘Lucy, please,’ said Andrew warningly.
‘But they’re the whole reason we’re sitting here in the first place. That pair are the root of everything, surely you can see that!’
‘We’ve been through this and you already know that I freely take full responsibility for what’s happened,’ Andrew interrupted her, reddening slightly the way he did when his blood pressure was at him.
‘Do you think it’s possible,’ Kate interrupted, ‘that because Josh and Alannah felt you were responsible for the break-up of your first marriage, Andrew, that they were subsequently acting out? Because as we know, adults can do that just as effectively and indeed sometimes far more deviously, than children. It’s almost like we rehearse our worst selves in front of family, purely and simply because we can. So tell me when the cracks first began to show. Why don’t you both tell me from the very start.’
Tell you? I could put a fecking date on it for you, Lucy thought bitterly, playing with the tassels on a cushion beside her and trying to get this out as rationally as she could. If at all possible, without a) bad-mouthing Josh for the bone-idle sponge he was and b) cursing Alannah for being so vicious towards her and calling her every name she could think of.
No, wrong approach. A cool head and a bit of rationality were what was called for here, she had to remind herself, biting her tongue and trying to somehow untangle the hellish mess the last couple of years had been. Try to sound like a reasonable, levelheaded woman, she told herself.
And failing that, just tell the truth.
‘Well, I think things started to go under just about two years ago,’ Lucy began. ‘Not long after we were first married. When Alannah was first made redundant from work.’
‘Go on. Tell me more about Alannah.’
‘Well, with no job, she couldn’t pay her rent any more,’ Andrew said smoothly, taking up the story from her. ‘Which of course meant she had to move out of the flat she’d been living in. Now, ordinarily, she’d have moved back with her Mum, my ex, Greta. But for some reason, she insisted on moving in with Lucy and I instead.’
‘I see. And how did you feel about this, Lucy?’
‘It was unexpected, but of course, I didn’t mind, thinking this was going to be a temporary measure, just until Alannah found work again. Except it didn’t quite turn out that way.’
Understatement of the century.
‘How do you mean?’
Lucy let out an exhausted sigh so deep, it felt like it might have been coming from the soles of her feet.
‘Lucy?’ prompted Kate, one eye on the clock.
And so Lucy thought back. Those godawful days and weeks, which quickly turned into months, when she and Andrew were just newly married and essentially living with a flatmate from hell. Charming to Andre
w’s face of course, and a thundering bitch to Lucy the very second his back was turned. Someone who, as she quickly copped on, had absolutely no intentions of moving out anytime soon. After all, why should she when she could live in comfort and luxury courtesy of the free Bank of Dad and new Stepmum?
‘Can I just point out that Alannah was twenty-eight years old at the time?’ Lucy suddenly blurted out. ‘And yet all she wanted to do was live off her Dad and me and by the way, live a pretty flashy lifestyle at that. One neither of us could afford to sustain.’
‘It goes without saying that I’ll do anything to support my children,’ said Andrew with just a note of warning in his voice.
‘Which I totally get,’ Lucy countered, ‘but if I were Alannah’s age and unemployed, I think I’d have got a job sweeping the streets rather than sponge off my father and stepmother! I’d have gone out and scrubbed toilets rather than be a burden. And yet she’d absolutely no problems with it. It was all, “Dad, I’ve been invited to go skiing, can you cover the cost of my trip?” Which of course, would frequently run into thousands.’
‘So, we’re agreed there were issues around Alannah moving in with you when you were first married?’ prompted Kate.
‘Well,’ Lucy said reluctantly. ‘Yes and no. It wasn’t a black and white thing to start with. I mean, Alannah is Andrew’s daughter and of course we were hardly going to turn her away.’
‘Naturally.’
‘But I have to say, it was a huge strain having her under my roof twenty-four hours a day. Especially when Andrew and I were both working full-time. And working incredibly hard too, may I add.’
‘You said you were supporting her. So how are you both fixed financially?’
A bloody good question. Especially seeing as how Andrew had money to burn at one stage, but certainly not now.
‘We’re what you might call the squeezed middle,’ Andrew answered smoothly. ‘I’m afraid things aren’t what they once were at the bank, where I serve on the Board of Directors.’
‘Understatement of the year,’ Lucy couldn’t stop herself from chipping in.
‘Go on,’ said Kate.
‘Well,’ she went on, with just a sideways glance over to Andrew to see how he was reacting. ‘The fact is, Andrew’s investments have mostly dwindled down to nothing; all his stocks and shares at the bank are practically valueless, his pension’s completely gone and really … well …’
‘I think what Lucy is trying to say,’ said Andrew, taking the reins up for her and reddening still more, ‘is that when everything else depreciated so dramatically, all we really had left was the family home.’
‘Plus both our salaries,’ Lucy added helpfully. ‘But after tax, that still didn’t leave a huge whack of cash. Certainly not compared with the kind of money Andrew was used to pulling in, back in the day.’
‘Did this make you feel pressurized in any way?’
‘Of course it did,’ Lucy said, trying hard to keep her voice even. ‘Can I just point out that Andrew’s nearing retirement age and should be slowing down, yet still had to work to capacity, just to finance his two adult children? Out of a joint savings account, with all my hard-earned wages going into it as well, by the way?’
‘You and I discussed this openly at the time,’ Andrew said coolly, for him. ‘And after all, Alannah is my daughter. So if she needed help, then it was our duty to give it.’
‘Which I had absolutely no problem doing,’ replied Lucy, ‘same as I would for anyone. All I asked in return was for a little bit of politeness that never came. And while we’re on the subject, can I just point out that there’s a helluva difference between helping someone out and just shelling out guilt money?’
‘Lucy, that’s most unfair and you know it,’ Andrew said crossly, but there was no shutting Lucy up now.
‘And let’s not forget that Alannah wasn’t even bothering to go out and find any other work at all!’
‘Was she interviewing?’ Kate interrupted. ‘Updating her CV? Going to recruitment agencies?’
‘In this economy, I’m afraid she found it very difficult,’ said Andrew.
‘There you go, making excuses for her yet again!’ Lucy heard herself saying. ‘But deep down though, you have to know the truth. Which was that for the first two years we were married, Alannah was perfectly happy to just loll around our house all day long, sitting pretty, watching TV, doing her nails and rifling through my wardrobe!’
‘Lucy, she had nowhere else to go!’
‘The girl never once lifted a finger and not only that, but when I’d come home, bone tired after a day’s shoot, she’d rarely fail to complain about whatever was served up to her. “This food is cold,” that kind of crap.’
‘Okay, okay, we don’t need to go any further,’ Kate interjected before things really got heated. ‘I think I have the picture here. So you felt that the tension really started to ratchet up and that things only went downhill from there?’
‘That’s not quite the whole story though,’ said Andrew, scarlet in the face now.
‘I certainly won’t argue with you there,’ Lucy had almost snapped back at him. Because there was so much more. God, she could sit here for a week straight telling step-daughter from hell stories that would turn the air blue.
There was Alannah and Josh’s constant, unrelenting rudeness, not just to her, but to all her extended family too. Lucy’s relations were far from posh and by Christ, this pair weren’t ever going to let them forget their Finglas roots anytime soon. She’d snapped sharply at them both, when she’d caught them sniggering at her mother over dinner one night, because she’d thought they were calling Lucy a crusty tartlet, when in fact, they’d only been referring to the starter.
‘We really must remember to make allowances for step-monster’s rellies,’ Lucy had overheard Alannah saying to Josh in the kitchen.
‘Too right!’ Josh had snorted disparagingly. ‘But then, you have to bear in mind that where her lot come from, a batter burger and an onion ring are considered a delicacy.’
‘Instead of bringing a bottle of wine next time you come over for dinner,’ Alannah quipped, ‘why not bring a six-pack of cider that they can drink from the tin instead? Let’s face it, Heather Mills and her lot would certainly appreciate it far more.’
There’d been blue murder over that particular episode and it was fast getting to the stage where Lucy was beginning to wonder how much longer before she cracked. It was like the more she allowed them to goad her, the more of a kick they got out of it whenever she’d rise to the bait. And running to Andrew with it was no use; he’d invariably revert back to the upset he’d caused when he and Greta first separated and how incredibly tough it had been on his kids. ‘We found our happiness so quickly afterwards, darling,’ he’d tell Lucy time and again. ‘But at what cost to others? Let’s just tread carefully and make every allowance here.’
Like it or not, Lucy was stuck in a no-win situation.
One which was about to get spectacularly worse.
‘Naturally, this must have put a huge strain on you both,’ Kate said sympathetically.
‘We only did what any parents, even step-parents would do,’ said Andrew tightly.
‘But that’s only the warm-up,’ said Lucy. ‘And you know it.’
‘Yet, I think we’ve had enough on the subject of Alannah as a housemate, don’t you?’ said Andrew, slightly clamming up now, the way he always did, every single time she even tried to have this conversation with him.
‘What about last Halloween for instance?’ Lucy countered, taking advantage of the fact that Kate was here and for once, he couldn’t shimmy out of it with an evasive answer. ‘I haven’t forgotten that particular debacle, even if you’ve decided to airbrush it.’
‘Alannah apologized, and you know that!’
‘It would still help me to talk about it,’ Lucy pleaded with Kate, who nodded and waved at her to keep going.
‘Well, you see, over Halloween last year, Andrew had tak
en me down to Wexford for a little weekend mini-break,’ she went on, wondering if she’d manage to get to the end of the tale without losing the rag altogether.
‘And?’
‘It was supposed to have been just the two of us, a break from all the tensions at home but then Andrew invited Alannah along too …’
‘… Because I didn’t want her to feel excluded or unwelcome, that’s all,’ Andrew interrupted.
‘… As it happened though,’ said Lucy, picking up the thread, ‘she said she’d prefer to spend the long weekend at the house instead, “just to hang out with a few friends”, as she’d told us.’
Which alone should have alerted my suspicions, Lucy thought to herself. But to be honest, she was just so anxious by then to get away from the little madam, even just for a short break, that she was fully prepared to hand over the run of the house to her while they were gone.
‘Keep going,’ said Kate, listening intently.
‘And … and sure enough, three days later, we came home to complete mayhem. A squad car in our front driveway, the whole works.’
‘Go on.’
‘It seemed Alannah had decided to throw an impromptu Halloween party and it unfortunately spiralled out of all control,’ Andrew explained. ‘A bit like one of those horror stories that you see on Sky News; you know, one of those Facebook parties where word about it goes viral and whole streets get smashed up.’
‘Our entire house was totally destroyed,’ said Lucy, getting angrier and angrier the more she thought about it. ‘Red wine had been sloshed all over our lovely cream carpets, furniture had been knocked; two windows had even been smashed in. I even found a total stranger dressed as Batman puking in the sink of my en-suite.’
Days, that particular row had lasted. Even from a safe distance of eighteen months, it still had the power to make her break into a cold, clammy sweat.
‘How did you react this time, Andrew?’
‘I’m afraid I lost it when I discovered the entire contents of my vintage wine collection had been glugged back by a crowd of boozers …’
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