by Naomi West
“Want me to answer that?” he replied as he walked past her.
She shook her head. “You're right. I was just about to go to bed,” she said as she shut the door behind him. “Today's been . . . a day.”
He smiled that sexy smile of his, with those deliciously full lips. This time, though, she could see the hint of exhaustion and bone-deep weariness.
Their earlier argument about their relationship, about what would happen with the baby, about his putting himself in too much danger, seemed to melt. The memory of their shouts all evaporated as she looked into those icy blue eyes of his. The worries about the future, about whether there was even a future for them -- she forgot them.
She reached down and grabbed his hand. “Come on,” she said. “Let's go to bed.” She led him back into her already-dark bedroom and climbed beneath the covers.
He stripped down to his boxer briefs and crawled into bed next to her.
She curled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Some night, huh?” she whispered.
He nodded. “You have no idea.”
“Why'd you come here instead of your place?” she asked.
His hand went down to her belly and began to gently caress her abdomen. “I sleep better with you next to me,” he murmured.
“Same here,” she whispered back, a smile on her lips.
A moment passed as she just listened to the sound of his breathing. The steady inhale-exhale was soothing, comforting, like the tick-tock of a human clock.
“I didn't want this baby, you know,” he said after a while, his voice already groggy and heavy with sleepiness.
“I know.”
“But, I care about it.” He paused and licked his lips. “I dunno why.”
“Well, maybe it's not that oil is thicker than blood.” she asked, thinking back to the big Blood Warriors flag he had hanging in his bedroom at home. “Maybe, they're just about the same.”
“Maybe,” he whispered back.
After a few moments of silence, she realized that he was out like a light. Star smiled, leaned up, kissed his cheek. Soon, she too was drifting off.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Star
“Oh my god,” Tova said as she leaned down in front of Star's nonexistent belly and nearly hugged it. “I'm gonna be a Grammy?”
She and Tanner had swung by his mother's house to check on Brendon, and to see how everything was going. They stood in the living room, where Tanner had called both of his family members in and just announced the good news.
“I'm gonna be an Uncle Brendon, you mean,” Tanner's brother said from beside their mother. He looked way better than the last time she'd seen him, and was beaming like he was the father or something, not Tanner. But, at least he'd progressed from his status as a walking corpse, and had approached something resembling living.
Star laughed, taking it all in. She'd never had a home life like this, and it was a nice change of pace. Even if the way his mother stared at her belly did make her a little uncomfortable.
“Guess it's not soon enough to tell if it's a boy or girl, is it?” Tova asked.
Star and Tanner both shook their heads. “It's only been a couple days, Mom,” Tanner said. “Takes a while for that.”
“Oh,” Tova said as she went and sat down on her old couch, “I think it'll be a boy. Boys run in our family.”
“And, if it's a boy,” Brendon piped up, “you can name 'em after me, right?”
Tanner and Star both laughed. “Well, I haven't really thought about names yet,” Star said as she glanced to the father of her child. He got a look on his face like he had, though.
Thankfully, he kept his mouth shut. She didn't exactly want to have a fight over baby names in front of his family.
“Well, if I get a nephew,” Brendon continued as he took a seat in a big, ugly easy chair to the side of the couch, “that means we can take him out riding. Out to the woods, like when Tanner and I were kids, when Pops taught us how to ride our first bike.”
Star didn't know how she felt about that, either. She loved riding on Tanner's motorcycle with him, even though she knew it was the most dangerous thing she did on any given day. The thought of having her child on one of those things . . . well, it kind of made her stomach turn now that she actually considered the prospect.
“And we can make him a little Blood Warriors vest,” Tova said, laughing. “I always wanted some for you and Brendon, Tanner, but I never had the chance to make them.”
Brendon laughed. “Geez, does this mean we need a crib at the clubhouse?”
“Well, when I take the baby out to see his daddy, it might be a good idea,” Tova said, actually thinking about it. Her eyes turned to Star. “What about you? What do you think?”
Star didn't really know what to think, but she knew enough to not say that. Not in front of his mother, at least. Instead, she just smiled and shook her head like she was still coping with everything. Which, to be fair, was partially true.
“You told the boys yet?”
“No,” Tanner said, then seemed to consider his words more carefully. “Well, I told Blade the other night when I saw him. Not the rest of the guys yet.”
“You should tell 'em, man,” Brendon said.
“Figure they'll just give me a boat load of hell about it, about settling down. Don't know if I can deal with the razzing right now.”
Brendon laughed. “Yeah, they'll probably give you a ribbing over it. But, man, they'll be as excited as we are to see a new little Blood Warrior.”
“What about you?” Tanner asked his brother. “You gonna try and join back up?”
Star swiveled her attention from one brother to the other, trying to gauge both of their reactions. The club was the most important thing to this family, and Tanner had told her that Brendon leaving was what was behind the condition on his having a child to get the inheritance. This was a big deal for Tanner, as big as it had been for their father.
Brendon's expression went back to dead sober again, and he shrugged a little. “I've been thinking about it. I still don't know if they'll accept me back, though. I kinda did a cut-and-run.”
Tanner nodded, agreeing with him. “Yeah. You did. But, nothing's ever set in stone, man. You can always ask for forgiveness.”
“I guess so,” Brendon said as he idly scratched his arm. The track marks were still visible there, Star noticed. Some of them were scars that would be there a lifetime, a constant reminder of Brendon's fall from grace and his time on the street.
“Just means,” Tanner said with a knowing grin, “they might go harder on you this time around, is all.”
Brendon laughed. “I think I can handle 'em. But, I don't want to go back if they don't want to take me back.”
“Well, you gotta prove it,” Tova said, piping up for the first time when it came to club business. “You gotta prove you want to be with them, that you want to be part of the family. But, I can say this -- those boys looked for you just the same as us. They wanted you back, and safe, just like your blood family.”
“I hadn't really thought about it like that, Mom,” Brendon said after a while, his head bobbing as the thoughts rolled through his mind. “I guess, I see what you're saying.”
“Soon as Blade gets back in town,” Tanner suggested, “I can let him know you want to join back up. If you want to, of course.”
Brendon nodded, a smile growing on his face. “Yeah,” he said, clearly starting to like the idea, “yeah, that sounds good, Tanner.”
Tova glanced up at the clock on the wall. “It's about lunch time. You two want to stay for sandwiches or something?”
Tanner glanced at Star, and Star looked back at him. She really didn't want to stick around for lunch, or listen to Tova talk about all the plans she had for her unborn child.
“I think,” Star said, “I better get home. I'm pretty tired after all the good news this week, and better lay down to take a nap.”
“You're probably right,” Tova
said, a smile on her face, but not in her eyes. “Young lady like you needs her rest.”
That was when the thought entered Star's mind, not for the first time, that Tova Rainier still thought she wasn't good enough for Tanner.
Not as a fling on the side. Not as his ol' lady. And definitely not as the mother of his child.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Star
“The potatoes weren't undercooked?” she asked as he cleaned off his plate.
He shook his head, his mouth full of barely-cooked vegetable.
“And the roast wasn't too tough?” she asked.
“Babe,” he said as he wiped his mouth with his napkin and tossed it on his plate, “everything was fine.” He leaned over and kissed her on the corner of her mouth.
He was lying, of course. The roast had tasted like shoe leather, and the potatoes could have replaced brick on a building's facade. But, at least he was telling lies to spare her feelings. That was something, at least.
Tanner had kept up his visits over the last few days. They weren't just drop-bys for sex, either. He would show up and take her to lunch, or just out for a bike ride around town. They were approaching, almost, a sort of relationship. Hell, she even cooked him dinner a couple times. Not that her cooking was good, or anything. Her mom hadn't exactly been a stellar role model when it came to that kind of thing. But he at least faked enjoying the meals.
Of course, she missed the drop-bys for just sex. They'd been exciting, fun. Somehow, even though they had made a baby, there was a sort of detachment from the emotions, an added heat that really ratcheted everything up a notch.
He grabbed her plate off the table, stacked hers on his, and took them both into the kitchen.
“You sticking around for a little while longer?” she asked as he went into the other room.
“Can't,” Tanner said from the kitchen as he rinsed off the plates and stacked them in the sink. “Going down to he Old Crow for a drink, to see how everything's going.”
“Oh,” she said, feeling a certain loss. Like she was missing him already. “Coming back, afterward?”
“Dunno how late I'll be,” he said as he came back over to her. He ran his fingers through her hair. “Do you want me to?”
She nodded. “Of course I do.”
He leaned down and kissed her, his lips forceful. She returned the kiss, groaning.
“See you soon?” she said after their kiss broke. God, she wished that kiss had turned into something more. They hadn't had sex enough since they'd found out she was pregnant, and all she could think about was his rough hands on her body, how he felt when he was inside her.
“Soon,” he replied as he grabbed his vest off the back of his chair and pulled on his badge of honor. He let himself out.
An emptiness seemed to take over the room, slowly filling the void he left behind when he stepped out the front door.
Maybe life was better with him, rather than without. Star shook her head. What was she getting herself into with this man?
# # #
Tanner
Tanner pulled up at the Old Crow a little while later. He only saw Cam's bike parked next to the door, so he pulled up next to his hog, popped his stand, and killed the engine. He swung his leg off and ambled inside.
Business was slow, and just Jethro was working behind the bar.
“What up, boss?” the grizzled bartender asked as Tanner stepped up to the bar and ordered a beer. Down the way, at the other end of the bar, Cam stood sipping on his own.
Good. Just Cam was here. Him, Tyke, and Blade were three of the only people Tanner could really discuss things with, as far as the Roaming Wolves went. And, unfortunately, Blade had to go underground after the firebombing went wrong. To keep spreading their plans, not to mention what they'd done already, just jeopardized the rest of the club. Keeping everything close was better for everyone. Knowledge was power, but lack of knowledge was deniability.
“Nothing,” Tanner said. “Absolutely nothing. Anybody else been in, besides Cam?”
Jethro shook his head, as he popped the lid off Tanner's requested beer. “This has been about it.” He slid the beer to Tanner.
He caught the beer, took a swig, and headed over to the recruit.
“Tanner,” Cam said as he approached. “What's going on, my man?”
“Cam,” he replied with a sober nod as they clasped hands. “You wanna join me in the back booth?”
“Uh, sure?”
Tanner walked past him and headed to the Blood Warriors booth at the back. In case someone came in, he wanted to have some privacy. Both men settled into the bench and slid around the table.
“So, what's up?” Cam asked.
Tanner leaned forward, almost conspiratorially. “Listen, I still haven't heard from Blade, which means it's you, me, and Tyke on this. Blade could be out a while.”
“Yeah,” Cam replied, nodding enthusiastically as he leaned forward. “I hear you.”
“Which means, I need your help on ways to go after those Roaming Wolves bastards. You feel me?”
“Sure, I hear you. What do you want to do? Like, mess up their bikes or something?”
“Nah,” Tanner replied, shaking his head. “We need to send them a real message. Like what we did the other night, but make sure it hits closer to home.” They needed to make these guys pay, really pay.
“Like . . . what?”
“Like, we do it again, but this time to their clubhouse. We can use the same path down as before, but this time we know there won't be any fuel stored there.”
“Uh, I don't know.” Cam sat back as he blew out a breath. He shot Tanner a quizzical look. “Their clubhouse? I mean, what if some of them are inside it?”
At first, Tanner didn't respond. Cam wasn't acting like a recruit should. He should have been jumping at a chance to follow through, to go above and beyond. To do what he was fucking told.
“And, I mean,” Cam continued, “what if, you know, we get in deeper with the law on this? We already went there once. There's already some evidence we left behind if they figure out what set the first building on fire.”
Tanner shook his head. He should have reported Cam to the rest of the club for that suggestion, and that suggestion alone. He should have just stood up from the table and walked away. He could have had Cam's recruit status revoked on principle.
Well, maybe he could have beat his ass a little bit, teach the kid not to mess around with the Blood Warriors and waste their time.
Unfortunately, the kid was kind of right. Getting deeper into this, and using the same method as before? That was sloppy. Straight-up 100%, grade-A sloppy. He could go to prison over something like this, or risk injuring or killing himself again. What if Blade hadn't saved him? Then his kid would be growing up without a father in its life, just like Tanner was having to deal with now because of the old man passing away.
“Serious question,” Tanner said after his long pause. “You still wanna be in the club?”
Cam took a long drink of his beer. After a while, he nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I'm fine with the fights, the drinking, the riding. All that stuff, Tanner, but,” he leaned forward and looked around, “this whole thing with the Roaming Wolves? This is some fucking shit, isn't it?”
That was easy for him to say. The Wolves hadn't gone after his family, or knocked him unconscious with a baseball bat. Tanner's nostrils flared as he sucked in a breath.
But, he was right. Maybe just one guy, with some of his buddies thrown into the mix, was the one doing all this. Didn't mean they had to firebomb the clubhouse.
After a minute, Tanner nodded. “It's some shit. You're right.” He finished down the rest of his beer and got up from the booth.
“Where you headed?” Cam asked.
“Home, I guess.”
“You out?” Jethro called. “I could use a little help later, if you don't mind.”
“Yeah, sure,” Tanner replied. “Guess I'll be back in a bit.”
He
nodded his goodbye to Jethro and walked out the front door and got on his bike. Sundown had passed, and night had come. He started his bike and pulled around in the parking lot. He pulled out onto the highway, but instead of heading towards his place, he headed back to Star's.
Talking with Cam had jogged up the memories of that big Roaming Wolf, of that haunting face he should have known, but didn't. He knew that he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. Not unless Star's body was at his side.
The night air whipped past his face and helped to clear his head. There had to be another way to get to this guy. Maybe Blade would have an idea when he finally showed up. But, escalating this situation, that wasn't the right way. If he did something crazy like burn down their clubhouse, that would give them more than enough license to do something even more wild, like come after Star, or his mom, or even set fire to the Blood Warriors clubhouse.