“Wait,” I said crossly and dragged her back. “I recognize that tone. What do you mean by, ‘Of course he’ll be here?’”
“Oh,” she said carelessly, twisting a strand of hair around her finger, “I might have called to make sure he was working today.” I gave her a dirty look, and she hurried on, “Yep! And the lady that answered the phone even told me,” she glanced at her watch, “that he has a lunch break from noon to one. Imagine that – perfect timing.”
“What?” I said incredulously. “They aren’t supposed to give out that information.” She looked at me innocently. I crossed my arms and scolded, “You’re sooo bad. No way am I going in there now.”
“Oh yes you are.” Seizing my arm again, she shoved me through the door. “I’m going to meander slowly through the store looking for the ingredients to this new Italian sausage and potato recipe. That gives you plenty of time to find Mr. Aqua-Marine Eyes and chat for awhile.”
I put my finger to my lips and shushed her. “Keep your voice down and no more nicknames, please. Oh, and by the way,” I added as an afterthought, “stop being so damn bossy.”
“Only if you promise to introduce me once you’ve had time to gaze into his dreamy eyes.”
“You’re such a pill,” I said. “Just get going already.”
She smiled, and with a flip of her auburn hair headed down the closest grocery aisle, swinging her basket a little too jubilantly. Her striped sundress disappeared from view, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I knew the employee break room was accessible through produce, so I headed that way.
Somewhere between the Gala and Fuji apples, I caught a glimpse of Jason from behind, and my heart started pounding. Standing next to the refrigerated salad dressings, he was in a conversation with another employee who was stocking salad kits. Mustering my courage, I took a deep breath and strode towards him.
When I was about five feet away the other employee noticed me and said pleasantly, “Hi, can I help you find something?”
Jason turned around, and when he spotted me his eyes flickered, and his lips parted. He’d lost his rugged outdoorsy edge but had cleaned up well. He looked extremely handsome in a white shirt, royal blue tie, and black slacks. Butterflies overtook my stomach, and I smiled self-consciously. However, his stance suddenly straightened, and he clenched his jaw. Thick lines appeared across his forehead, and I realized he looked angry. My stomach dropped, and I knew I shouldn’t have come.
“Actually Joe,” Jason said possessively, pushing past him, “this customer is mine.” I opened my mouth to comment, but he said in a gruff voice, “Come with me.”
Shrugging, I shook my head and walked past Joe, who looked as confused as I felt. I patted his shoulder, more for my own reassurance than his, and then trailed after Jason with foreboding.
He stopped next to the pistachio bins in a secluded corner of bulk foods and said crossly, “Alex, what are you doing here?”
My shoulders stiffened at his tone. “I’m shopping with Ally,” I said defensively, “and since you’d mentioned you worked here, I thought I’d say hi.” The lines at the corners of his eyes intensified with accusation, making me feel like a stalker. I quickly blurted out, “But obviously I’ve made a big mistake…so, I’ll take off and let you get back to work.”
“Look,” his voice was hard, “that’s not...” He stopped and raised his hands mid-air. “Is there something you want from me?”
Heat flooded my cheeks. What kind of answer could I possibly give? That I couldn’t stop thinking about him and was desperate to see him again. “I don’t want anything.” My lips trembled and I looked down at my ring, studying it hard. I felt like such a fool. “I just wanted to thank you for lunch the other day and make sure everything was okay. The way you bolted after getting that phone call had me worried.”
“Oh that, that was nothing,” he said with a dismissive wave.
On the verge of tears, I lowered my head and turned away. I didn’t want him to see the hurt shattering my composure and distorting my face. I didn’t want him to stare into the pools of my dark eyes and see I wanted nothing, yet everything from him.
“Wait,” he said, and I froze in place on the hard concrete floor.
A giggling, teenage girl rounded the corner and bumped into me. “Oops, I’m sorry,” she said. Something in my face must have told her it wasn’t a good time, because her lips parted, exposing a set of silver braces, and she clasped her friend’s shirt. “Sofia, I just remembered something I need in the…bakery.” They did an about face and hastened away.
My nose started twitching, and I realized the culprit behind my sudden stuffiness was the open bin of chocolates. I blamed my watery eyes and swelling throat on allergies, but deep down I knew it was more than that. I mustered up enough courage to speak, but I still didn’t turn and face him. “Jason,” I said in a shaky voice, “I can tell when my company is unwanted. It was wrong of me to show up here. I’m sorry I misread your lunch invitation as something other than a charity invite.” When he didn’t respond I continued. “I enjoyed our lunch together, and I apologize for seeing a potential friendship between us, one that is obviously not mutually perceived.” Damn, it hurt to say that. I drew in a deep breath, trying to quell the sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach and the strange tug on my heart. No way was I going to admit I’d been contemplating more than friendship. Those damn aqua-marine eyes of his had me all screwed up.
My little soliloquy was met with dead silence. Soft music played over the speakers, and I could hear Joe talking to a customer in the produce department. After an eternity, Jason still hadn’t spoken a word, and I became increasingly uncomfortable. Not only was I disappointed, but my pride lay splattered all over the floor. I’d have to be careful not to slip and fall in it on the way out. With no intention of looking back, I shook my head and started to walk away before tears commenced. Ally was right; I needed to get over him and focus on Ash.
I didn’t even hear him move. He was fast, like an eagle swooping down to seize its prey. Having gone no more than three steps, I tensed when two hands, which felt more like talons, landed roughly on my shoulders and propelled me around so quickly I almost lost my balance. He pulled me so far into his personal space that even I felt awkward. He brought his face within inches of mine and said firmly, “You’re so wrong.” His breathing was erratic. Little blasts of Wintergreen brushed against my face, as his mouth, and those…those surprisingly close lips, drew uneven breaths. Unblinking, his eyes slashed through my already shattered self-esteem. Even though I felt weak in the knees, a cozy warm feeling originated where he held my shoulders and began permeating throughout my body, giving me an unusual sense of solace and…and peace. Gazing directly into his aqua-marine eyes was a mistake. Intense and stunning, they dominated my entire being.
“I am?” I asked in confusion.
“Alex,” he said sternly and shook me a little bit. “I invited you to lunch, because you intrigue me, and I wanted to know more about you.”
“You did?” My voice sounded funny, like it was coming from far away. He nodded and I tried to break his gaze but found I couldn’t.
“I did…I do have an interest in you. It’s just that I…I have a very complicated life. I cannot be more than a friend…and I wouldn’t be a very good one of those, either. I don’t want you thinking worse of me than you already do. It would be better if we didn’t…” He broke off suddenly, released my shoulders, and with a slight shove pushed me backwards. He shook out his hands like he’d just pulled them out of a boiling pot of water.
The intense heat waves I’d been experiencing scattered abruptly, leaving behind a cold, empty feeling. At least I snapped out of my reverie, and as rational thought rebounded, I thought of how upset Ally would be with me. She’d tell me it was time to call a spade a spade.
“Well,” I said haughtily, “you certainly don’t have to make a bunch of excuses. I’m not so desperate that I need to beg for friends, you know.”
�
��Of course you don’t…” he started to say.
“I’m not done yet.” I pointed my finger in his face. Where had this burst of energy come from? I didn’t know, but I was ready to dish it out. “I enjoyed our lunch together, right up until the part where you ditched me. Before that, I’d had a nice time. I thought we’d established a friendship. Obviously, I was wrong. Today, you’ve been nothing but rude and hurtful and…”
“Alex,” he interrupted, “that was not my intention. I’m really sorry.” At least he had the dignity to look sincere.
“Sure you are.” I balled my hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
“You caught me by surprise, but I had no right to speak to you like I did. What you have to understand is that while I might personally enjoy spending time with you, for your own sake, I’ve decided it wouldn’t be fair to you.” He rubbed his hand over his cheek and across his jaw before continuing, “Like I said before, my life is complicated, and I have commitments elsewhere.” His eyes pleaded with me to accept his explanation.
I crossed my arms and snorted. “So nice of you to make my decisions for me. And by the way, your excuses are lame. But look, if you’re life is so full you don’t need any more friends, or…or you have some domineering girlfriend who has you on such a short leash you can’t have female friends…”
His eyes widened, and he coughed. He even looked like he was trying to suppress a chuckle. I stopped talking and looked at him in disbelief. Even though he appeared remorseful, he burst into laughter.
A girl’s high-pitched voice bombarded the intercom system. “Can I get a price check on seven, please? A price check on seven. Thank you.”
Even though I was irritated, the whole situation suddenly seemed humorous. I started laughing along with him. I barely knew him, yet here we were bickering like a married couple. What was wrong with us? When we’d both come to our senses and stood looking uncertainly at one another, I said, “What the heck was that all about?”
He caught his breath, “I don’t know. Nothing. Everything. Or maybe you’re just impressive when you’re mad.” After I gave him a condescending look he said, “I’m sorry, and I totally deserved everything you dished out. Actually, I’m surprised you didn’t utter a few other choice words. But I’m sorry, and I promise I understand.”
“I wonder, do you really?” I asked, on the defensive again. Before he could respond I said, “Look, I can make my own decisions about who I want to hang out with. The real question is this,” I said tersely, “are you trying to convince me to leave you alone because you have a legitimate reason I shouldn’t be around you, or do is it because you’d really rather be rid of me? Give it to me straight. I can handle the truth.”
He looked injured, like I’d just delivered an undeserving blow. “Alex, I think you know the answer to that. You intrigue me and provoke my mind, but you also knock me off balance.” He studied me for a moment. “I do have my reasons, good, logical reasons why you should steer clear of me. If I make my decisions based on logic, then I stay in control–”
“Too bad for you,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “Your black and white, logical world must be awfully stark. I, on the other hand, believe there is always a gray area…”
“No big surprise there,” he muttered and looked at me cross-eyed before saying assertively, “I bet you let your emotions guide you through life too, never taking into account what’s rational.”
“Damn right,” I said proudly. “And you know what?” I made a face and kept talking. “All that gray area is really very colorful; in fact, it’s also quite reliable and definitely more pleasant.”
He grunted. “You may think so, but people who let emotions dominate their actions get hurt easier and fall harder.”
“Well, that may be so,” I said, crossing my arms, “but we also bounce back quicker, forgive faster, and love deeper.” Suddenly embarrassed, I stopped talking and wondered just how and why the conversation had taken such a philosophical turn.
He regarded me with that piercing gaze, the one he’d mastered so artfully. Finally, in a resigned tone he said, “What I was originally trying to say before we got off on this tangent is that I rarely allow emotions to play a role in my decision making. But for some reason, when it comes to you, I find myself tripping over them. You invade my senses and my logic, and I’m not sure how to handle that.”
“That’s good,” I said with a slight smile, “you obviously need to be thrown off balance. Maybe you need a few more illogical friends in your life,” I suggested. A look of amused disbelief flickered across his face. “In fact, I’m sure that’s it. You’re a little too tightly wound,” I persisted, suppressing humor into a grin. “Do you know when I first got here today, I wasn’t sure if I was hoping you would be here or hoping you wouldn’t be here.”
“And now that you’ve seen me, I hate to hear the verdict.”
I raised one eyebrow. “Still out. But once I step off this emotional roller coaster and regain my balance,” I smiled, “I’m sure I’ll be ready for another ride.”
“Definitely more forgiving than I’d be.”
“Too true,” I said with a smirk. “We emotionally-driven people tend to be that way.”His lips curved into a soft smile. Feeling unsure about where we stood, I sighed and said, “I think we’ve exhausted this conversation. I should probably get going and let you get back to work.”
“Alex,” he said softly, “I can’t make any promises, and I still think you’d be better off not knowing me, what with my bad manners and all,” he said sheepishly, “but I’d like us to be friends – if you still want to, that is.” He looked at me anxiously.
Managing a casual shrug, I said, “You’re not making a lot of sense, and I don’t know what these issues are that you think you have, but don’t worry, I was born patient. And despite your abrupt good-byes and your personal space issues, I still find you interesting.” He was completely unaware that my heart was fluttering, and I wanted nothing more than to grab hold of him by the tie, pull him closer, and kiss him.
He smiled and ran his hand down his tie. “That’s a good thing, I hope.”
Tilting my head, I nodded. “Oh hey, I promised Ally I’d introduce you. Do you have a couple more minutes?”
A slow grin spread across his face. “Sure.” He bit his lip, studying me thoughtfully. “There’s just something about you.”
How strange, that’s what I always said about him. I gave him a funny look. “Yeah, you too.”
“Come on. Let’s go find her,” he said walking past. “Have you told her you might not want to be a teach…” As we rounded the corner he stopped, and his mouth dropped open.
I followed his stunned gaze over the top of the Walla Walla onion display and saw Ally and Jessica’s sister, Madison, talking excitedly and heading our direction. They didn’t look like they’d spotted us yet. Jason looked at me. Then his eyes darted all around, like he was looking for an escape route. I had no idea what his problem was, but I wasn’t overly joyed about the prospect of introducing him to Madison. As usual, she was striking. A satiny green dress accentuated all her curves, and a pair of absurdly high heels emphasized her never-ending legs.
Jason whipped his head around and stared at me with a look of chagrin. “Alex, I need to explain—” Abruptly, he broke off and clasped his hands behind his blonde head.
“Just the two people I’m looking for and you happen to be right here together. Strange coincidence, don’t ya think?” Madison expelled in an agitated voice. A pair of sunglasses resting artfully on top of her head held back her jet black hair, but a few loose strands hung around her face. If Aphrodite suddenly appeared next to her, there was no doubt in my mind Madison would send the Goddess spiraling back to Mount Olympus.
She glided up to Jason, wrapped an arm around his shoulder in an intimate manner, and greeted him enthusiastically. His shoulders tightened, and he moved slightly the other way, but she took no notice. I glanced at Ally, who shrugged and whose bl
ue eyes were wide open with wonder.
“Jason,” Madison said and ran her hand over the back of his head, “I’d like you to meet my friend Ally.” She gestured in Ally’s direction, and Ally slipped the grocery basket onto her left arm then reached out with her right hand.
He seemed self composed again and smiled warmly as they shook hands. Before he could utter a greeting, Madison turned towards me and said in a smooth voice, “And I think it’s about time you met Le—”
“Yes, Alex and I have already met,” he interrupted, a forced smile upon his lips.
Instantly, Madison removed her hand from his neck, crossed her arms, and corrected him. “What are you talking about? This is Lexi. You know…”
“Lexi?” He frowned. His voice sounded distant when he muttered my name again. “Lexi? You mean Jessica’s Lexi?” His voice grew louder with each word.
“Well of course I mean Jessica’s Lexi. Hello! What do you mean you’ve already met? And why are you calling her Alex?” She asked disdainfully.
They were carrying on as if Ally and I weren’t even present. I could tell Ally was way past her tolerance level, and I was completely shocked Jason and Madison knew each other. For some reason that knowledge made the knot in the pit of my stomach grow larger and pull a little tighter. My bigger concern was the intimate manner in which Madison had placed her arm around Jason. Oh, wait a minute…tell me that was not a leash I saw hanging from her handbag.
A loud male voice boomed over the intercom system, “I need a wet clean-up with glass on aisle eight please. A wet clean-up with glass on aisle eight. Thank you.”
After the announcement, Jason stepped closer to me and a little further away from Madison. My heart surged at the unexpected gesture. The lines at the corner of his mouth deepened, and he said, “Not that this is any of your concern, but I met Alex at Village Books.”
As that wasn’t exactly the truth either, my head jerked slightly and I caught Ally’s eye. Her dubious expression mimicked my feelings. Why would he omit the truth about our original encounter on the sidewalk?
Amethyst - Book One of the Guardian Series Page 14