“What if it’s not all an act?” I asked her, starting to wonder that myself.
My eyes darted down as she licked her bottom lip slowly, her eyes narrowed in thought. “What if it’s not?” she repeated, sounding an awful lot like she was asking herself that question.
This whole emotional bonding thing was not only a lot easier and less painful than I’d expected, but it also seemed to be working.
Just as I was thinking what to say to her in response, she put my book aside gave me a mischievous grin and stood up.
“What?” I asked her.
She looked around the room, but we were the only two there except for Mitch who had his headphones on and had his head bent over his work. Paige grabbed my hand and pulled me after her. I had no idea what she was thinking, even after she’d pushed me into the disabled loo, had the door locked and had me pressed against the door with a very serious kiss.
My brain was on complete autopilot and I couldn’t think of anything but her. The way her body pressed against mine. The way her fingers felt in my hair. The way her lips were sweet and slightly sticky, and I knew she’d put lipgloss on recently. The way her hands were pulling on my–
“Whoa!” I breathed heavily, pulling back as far as I could.
“What?” she asked.
I looked around as though it was obvious. “Where’s the girl who stopped me giving her a good time in private?”
Paige was not about to let me tell her what to do and I don’t know why I thought any different.
“Where’s the guy who would have had no problem having sex with me at Sam’s?”
I held up my hands in defence. “Hey. I’m just making sure I don’t cross any boundaries. You want at my belt, go for it. You know how I feel about you.”
The annoyance melted from her face. “How do you feel about me?”
Oh, shit. This was suddenly a whole lot more serious than it needed to be. And all because I didn’t want her rushing into something she might regret. When I shouldn’t have questioned her because she knew her own damned mind. When I shouldn’t have made assumptions about where a tug on my belt was going. When I wanted anything she was comfortable giving, particularly when it was preceded by a tug on my belt.
Basically, I should have kept my damned mouth shut.
But I couldn’t do that now.
“I… I like you, princess.” I shrugged. “You constantly surprise me with that mind of yours. You turn me on like no one else and drive me crazy in the best possible way.” I shrugged again. “I like you.”
She looked over me carefully. I didn’t know if she could actually see my hard-on, but I could certainly feel it tight in my pants.
“You don’t care if I can’t live up to the fantasy?”
I blinked in confusion. “What fantasy?”
She huffed and it was actually kind of adorable. “The one all the guys have in their heads about me. How I’m perfect little Paige, all sweet and nice and can do no wrong. I mean, you even call me ‘princess’.”
I was maybe starting to get her deal with the fantasy thing. “Everyone has a reputation, Paige…” I said slowly. “But I gotta be honest, if it’s not mine then I’m not really interested. I’m a selfish guy when it comes down to it–”
“You’re not, though,” she said and I looked at her in question. “Leo’s comics.”
I nodded “Ah. Okay. Sure. Other than that. I couldn’t care less what kind of pedestal other people put you on. Look, the fantasy is great and all. But if I’m honest, the reality is so much fucking better.”
“You really think so?” she asked.
I nodded. “Of course, I really think so. The girl who invited me to IT and rocked up in the grungiest outfit, totally natural? She’s better than the fantasy girl who’s always put together. You were relaxed and comfortable and totally you.”
“I like dressing up and looking good, too.”
“Great. Why can’t you do both?”
I was legitimately asking the question. It had always baffled me that girls and women cared so much about how they looked to other people. Like, I so don’t care if you have one favourite dress you wear to all the parties – if you feel good in it, rock it. I just didn’t understand this expectation they put on themselves so young. I didn’t even know where it came from.
No. I did. It came from the exact same place as this insecurity and uncertainty was coming now. It came from judgemental arseholes who could only feel good about themselves by making someone else feel bad.
But I didn’t have time to follow up with anything because she’d pushed me against the door again and was kissing me like her life depended on it. And I was very happy to kiss her back accordingly.
This time, when her hand went for my belt, I only pulled away a little.
“What now?” she huffed.
“In the interests of boundaries–”
“Oh my God! You suddenly have boundaries now?” she cried.
I laughed. “No. Fuck, no. I personally don’t believe in them.”
“Then why did you stop me again?”
“Because against my better judgement, I just wanted to tell you not to feel…obliged to do this at school.”
She grinned as her hand went very purposefully to my hard-on and squeezed it gently. “I’m well aware I’m not obligated to do anything–”
“Good.”
“–but I think someone’s earnt a reward for good behaviour.”
“Oh, well. When you put it like that…” I chuckled.
Her lips went to my neck as she undid my belt and pants and I breathed out heavily. She slid her hands into my boxers and stroked me softly. My head fell back a little too hard on the door behind me, but I didn’t really care as she started rubbing me more rhythmically.
“Holy shit,” I muttered as she worked at a steady pace; girl knew what she was doing and I wasn’t complaining.
I got this weird feeling in my chest as I felt my orgasm starting to build. Looking to distract myself, I crushed her lips to mine and kissed her hard. My hips rocked in time with her movement as I fucked her hand and I felt her smile.
Just at the right time, she pumped me faster. All I could do was hold her forehead to mine as she sent me careening over one of those precipices Jendo always reads about in his Romance books.
I didn’t know if it was the fact it had been a while since someone other than me had been in my pants, or if it was her. But I hadn’t cum that hard in…well, ever.
I kissed her again and pulled back to look into those gorgeous hazel eyes.
“That was…okay?” she asked with a cheeky smirk.
I nodded as I fought to steady my breath and grabbed some toilet paper to start cleaning up. “Very okay. Don’t tell me that’s your first time?”
She shook her head as she went to wash her hands. “No.”
“Then why would it not be okay? Unless you usually, like, rip it off or something.”
Paige laughed. “Jesus. No. I just figured as much as it seemed like you guys all get off on the same thing…” She shrugged. “Maybe you don’t and maybe you might have liked it better a different way.”
I finished cleaning up, zipped up my pants and went over to her. I took her face in my hands and told her, “Nah. I liked it. A lot,” and kissed her quickly.
The bell went and she pulled away with a guilty smile on her face. We both laughed as we looked at each other.
“You go,” I said. “I’ll finish up in here.”
She bit her lip and nodded. As I turned away, she said, “Bash?”
I looked back at her. “Yeah?”
I caught sight of a smile before she pressed a quick kiss to my lips, then she slid out of the bathroom like she’d never even been there.
My heart wasn’t pounding, but it was beating a lot more erratically than necessary. I looked at myself in the mirror and shook myself out.
“Jesus. You get one hand
job from the girl and you go ridiculous,” I muttered to myself. “Pull yourself together, Baker.” I shook my head as went back over to the toilet. “Fuckin’ disgrace.”
A hand job was one thing. The thing it was definitely not was sex, but it was a step in the right direction. I just had to remind myself that was all this was. I didn’t need to go losing my heart while I was defending my reputation. I couldn’t let myself go weak. I had to stay strong.
“Two fucking weeks,” I reminded myself as I washed my hands. “It’ll all be over one way or another in two fucking weeks.”
Chapter 14: Paige
Georgie was on phone duty while I drove because, even though we’d planned to meet up at seven, Bash and I still hadn’t made any definitive plans. This was mostly because we were still arguing about who was driving.
“He says he wouldn’t be seen dead in the Princess-mobile and he’ll pick you up,” she told me.
“Tell him that’s hardly fair, he drove all last weekend AND met my mum.”
“Are you angling for a parental introduction?” Mia asked, leaning as far forward as her seatbelt allowed.
I shrugged. “Not necessarily. I just figure maybe he doesn’t want to meet my mum again.”
“She still calling him Chatty Cathy?” Georgie laughed.
I nodded. “Yes. I don’t think she’s terribly impressed with him.”
“Well she’s not supposed to be. We’re only getting him to fall in love with you so you can dump him.”
“Exactly,” Mia added.
“I’m aware,” I reminded them.
“Are you, though?” Mia asked.
“You’re spending a lot of time with him and I’m yet to see much in the way of progress,” Georgie said.
“You guys picked him because you thought it would be harder than any of the other jerks. But…it’s going well. He’s getting more…emotional,” I said, feeling like that was a decent description.
“Emotional? Like he told you his whole tragic backstory while he cried in your lap?”
“Like he showed me what he keeps in that all precious book of his and I gave him a hand job in the disabled toilet,” I replied.
“Was it tentacle porn?” Mia asked as Georgie cried, “What?”
Had Georgie been driving, I had the feeling she would have given us whiplash with how fast she slammed on the breaks.
“Wait. Wait,” Georgie continued. “You did what? Where?”
“I want to know about the tentacle porn,” Mia said.
Georgie and I both threw her a smirk and a synchronised, “I bet you do.”
Then Georgie whacked me. “Seriously. Tell me more.”
So, I told them what happened.
“Aw. He said he likes you,” Mia cooed.
Georgie was slightly more pragmatic. “Even Mia hasn’t given anyone a handy in the toilet.” She turned around suddenly. “Have you?”
I saw Mia shake her head in the rearview mirror. “Nope.”
“Are you calling me a slut?” I asked.
Georgie giggled as I hit her companionably. “No! I wouldn’t dare,” she snorted, super believably.
I shook my head ruefully, but I knew any name she was pretending to call me wasn’t actually what she thought of me. We just took any chance we could to make a joke of each other without any judgements. Besides, a hand job in a toilet at school was hardly the worst any one of us had done. Those girls had balls the likes of which I’d never muster.
“Just to be clear…” Mia said slowly. “There is no tentacle porn, yes?”
Georgie and I burst out laughing and we spent the rest of the time until I dropped them off talking and laughing about exactly what we thought tentacle porn involved.
By the time I got home, Bash had sent me a bunch of messages in which he’d seemed to convince himself I could pick him up all by his rambling self. Every message just made me smile harder until genuine laughter was threatening.
Bash:
I’d rather meet your mum again than die in the Princess-mobile.
Bash:
Not that your mum doesn’t seem nice.
Bash:
Actually, I’m not sure she likes me.
Bash:
Not that it matters. It’s not like we’re dating or anything.
Bash:
Right?
Bash:
Because we’d have talked about it.
Bash:
Wouldn’t we?
Bash:
I mean, I guess it would only be fair for you to meet my mum.
Bash:
And I’m sure it wouldn’t kill me to be near the Princess-mobile.
Bash:
Okay. Fine. You can drive.
Bash:
But if you meet my mum, no telling her we’re dating. She’s annoying enough about you as it is.
Bash:
And don’t listen to anything Leo says I’ve said. It’s all lies.
I was trying very hard not to giggle to myself as I replied to him
Paige:
Somehow you’ve managed to have a whole argument with yourself one-sided. If arguing with you is going to be this easy, I might just consider dating you.
I went up to my room to get a bit of English reading done before getting ready to go out. Not that I planned on anything fancy, I just didn’t feel my school uniform was appropriate.
Bash:
I assume I’ll get a head’s up if anything becomes official?
Pausing, I wondered if this could be used to further my agenda.
If Bash actually asked me out or instigated a conversation, then that could easily be construed as he’d definitely fallen for me. Then again, if we never officially dated, how was I going to dump him? And if I told him he needed to start that conversation, what was the chance he’d do it just because he thought I wanted him to rather than he actually wanted to? And if that was the case, it wouldn’t be because he’d really fallen for me at all. Would it?
The whole thing seemed too difficult.
Paige:
I presume we’ll both get a head’s up if anything becomes official.
Bash:
Is that your way of (not so) subtly telling me to start something?
I swore rather more heavily than usual.
Paige:
I wasn’t aware you dated.
Bash:
But you do.
Paige:
So that means I want you to start something?
Bash:
I wouldn’t presume to know how your mind works.
Well, I could have just come out and made a joke of it all and ended up in the same place! I needed to do damage control. I had to make Bash believe I didn’t need or want him to start any sort of conversation about dating…and then hope he fell head over heels in love with me and started it anyway.
Paige:
FYI, nothing needs to be started. Except my homework.
Bash:
Studious little miss, aren’t you?
Paige:
It’s the quiet ones you’ve gotta watch out for ;)
Bash:
Oh, I hope you’re not quiet. Else I’m not doing my job properly :P
Holy moly.
I legitimately fanned myself and had to put my phone down for a minute.
I contemplated taking a moment to relieve some of my built-up frustration, but thought I didn’t need the ultimate distraction. I needed to get a bit of reading done before I went to pick Bash up.
Paige:
Time will tell if you’re as good as you think you are.
My phone buzzed a few times while I was reading, but I successfully ignored it for about an hour. When I finally looked at my phone, I noticed a whole bunch of totally original jokes about how I didn’t need to be ‘BASH-ful’ and I could talk dirty with him.
Paige:
I have no problem talking dirty with you.
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Bash:
Oh yeah. What is it then?
Paige:
Some of us stupidly decided to do English Lit and picked Bronte for comparison.
Bash:
I only have a vague notion that whatever that means is hard. But remember, I have to put together a whole graphic novel.
I did not remember that at all. I wasn’t even aware he was doing any creative subjects.
Paige:
Really?
Bash:
Yep. Jendo’s no fucken help.
Paige:
You’re doing it with Jendo?
Bash:
;P
Paige:
Shut up. You know what I meant.
Bash:
Totes did. And in my dreams ;P But yeah. We’re doing a group project for Creative Arts.
Paige:
A graphic novel?
Bash:
Yup. Jendo’s got the words and I’ve got the magic fingers.
Paige:
So, I’ve heard.
Bash:
;) say the word and they’re yours.
The offer was far too tempting.
Paige:
Trust me, you’ll be the first to know when I’m ready.
Bash:
I look forward to it.
Honestly, so did I. I wanted to know if he was really as good as he thought he was. I wanted to know if he was as good as the rumours said. But mostly, I wanted him to ease some of the desire I had for him because I was pretty sure it wasn’t normal.
Paige:
Thought about what you want to do tonight?
Bash:
It took us almost like two hours to decide who was driving. Surely I need at least three before I’ve even begun to come up with ideas?
He wasn’t wrong. We’d started ‘arguing’ over who was driving in our free last lesson.
Paige:
I’m supposed to be picking you up in like an hour?
Bash:
This is true. What say you give me until then?
Paige:
You can’t pick making out in the car again.
Bash:
*audible sigh*
Bash:
Fine. Community centre is doing Friday the 13th moonlight cinema. It’s corny, but keen?
It made my little heart oh so happy to know someone was showing ‘Friday the 13th’ on Friday the thirteenth. Even if it was, as Bash said, corny. And I was super keen.
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