by Olivia Snow
In order to push that away, I pulled my bra down, releasing a breast; I gripped my tit just like he would. If he liked nasty, I could give him nasty.
“Oh, shit.” He groaned, pumping into me. As he increased his speed, I took the other breast into my hand. “Oh, baby, fuck what are you doing?”
“Giving you nasty, Professor.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Vanessa
After Diesel walked away, I went back to the party, putting up a front for Mallory. I wanted her to enjoy herself. We stayed a couple of hours before she looked at me and asked me to stop trying to pretend I was all right and to tell her what was wrong.
When she parked outside my apartment building, I told her everything, and after she salivated over the juicy details of me getting my first orgasm from Diesel, her face fell when I started crying.
“I’m a slut.”
“Vanessa, don’t be ridiculous. You’re not a slut, plus you know how I feel about that word.” Mallory was a self-proclaimed feminist, and didn’t like the term slut. “Do I condone that you let another guy touch you while you’re dating someone else? No, you made a promise to Stellen that you’d stay faithful, but you know how I feel about the whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing. I think it’s stupid, especially at our age.”
“Talon was your boyfriend.” I wiped the snot from my nose with the back of my hand. Mother would have gone into cardiac arrest at the sight.
“Yeah, and look what happened there, he enlisted in the Marines.” Talon and Mallory had fooled around in high school before becoming an item. Talon was Gabriel’s best friend, and he probably took his death worse than anyone.
After graduation, Talon enlisted, and sent Mallory a text the day he left telling her it was over. She hadn’t heard back from him since. They only reason I knew how he was doing was through daddy, who was close friends with Talon’s father. But I wasn’t allowed to speak his name in front of Mallory or give her an update on his whereabouts. The only reason I brought it up now was to make a point.
“Vanessa I love you, you know that. So what I’m about to tell you is purely out of love, okay?” She tapped my forehead to make sure I looked up at her, giving her my full attention. I nodded. “Okay.”
“You’re a fucking idiot—”
“What the hel—”
“No, listen! You’re letting your life pass you by. Hasn’t Gabriel’s death taught you anything? We only have today, right now, because tomorrow isn’t promised. Your parents control everything you do. And I get it, they are your parents, you feel like you owe them something. You’re a good kid, did good in school, got into the school they wanted you to get into. You’re not a drug addict, an alcoholic, you haven’t gotten pregnant, and you’re a good person all around. So I say you’ve turned out quite well. You did your job at being a good kid, so they should be proud.
“When will you realize that what they are doing is unhealthy? They have you dating a guy you don’t really like just so they can continue to climb this endless social ladder. For what? It’s not like they can take all that with them when they die. I fear for your health, I fear that you’ll realize how truly unhappy you are and do something stupid. When will you start living for yourself and not them? They’ve lived their lives, now it’s your turn.”
I gaped at my best friend as the words slowly sank in. The next morning, what she’d told me still lingered on my chest. I didn’t know what to say to her, so I had just walked up to the building without a word, then crashed on my bed and cried myself to sleep.
Last night was full of first and lasts. The last time I would see Diesel because there was no way I would be able to explain to him the reason why I was with Stellen. If my best friend judged it, how would someone who barely knew me respond to it?
Even though Mallory was right, I didn’t know how to stand up to my parents. I was afraid to be without the safety blanket they provided, regardless of how tattered and dirty the blanket was. It was all I knew.
The entire day dragged on. I figured around mid-afternoon that I should probably get some homework done. In between writing an English paper and reading the next chapter of my business book, Ava came home to change for her shift at Blush. Then Mother and Stellen called, one after the other, to talk. The conversation with Mother was shallow as expected.
“Are you doing well in school?”
“Yes.”
“Are you spending enough time with Stellen?”
“Yes.”
“Is he happy?”
“Yes.”
“Goodbye.”
“Goodbye.”
When Stellen called, I was full of guilt and he could tell something was up.
“Are you busy tonight?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you feeling all right?”
“Yes.”
“Want to try saying more than one syllable words?”
“No.”
“Vanessa, what’s wrong? Want me to come over?”
“I’m sorry. I just got off the phone with my mother. It always leaves me feeling—”
“Drained?” he finished. He understood; he knew what it was like to have the type of parents we had. He didn’t fight it either, he knew the rules and he was trying to make the best of the situation like I was.
“Yeah, exactly.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then? Want to do lunch?”
“Sure, that sounds nice.” We exchanged goodbyes with a promised lunch date for tomorrow.
I wasn’t even excited to see him. I wasn’t excited to do anything. I felt light, but not in a relieved way. I had no substance inside to hold me down. I was a balloon floating in the air with nowhere to ground myself, nothing inside but air. I laid on my bed staring at the white ceiling as images of the past resurfaced.
Gabriel and I walking hand in hand along Cross Creek while the spring flowers shed their last petals.
He was my anchor, but now his memory was becoming just as transparent as the air inside of me. The thought punched me in the gut, because I knew deep down it was time to let go.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ava
Blush had become extremely busy. We were flying up and down the bar trying our best to keep up with the demand. Christian was becoming more agitated when he couldn’t help us out because he was stuck doing paperwork, like payroll. To say we were understaffed for the amount of traffic we were getting was an understatement. It didn’t take much convincing from Jade for Christian to agree we needed more people.
I went into my shift a little relieved that today wouldn’t be so chaotic and stressful—until Chris introduced one of the newest employees. Oh, for fuck’s sake. The look on my face gave it all away, and Christian at least had the decency to look apologetic.
“Ava.” She seethed, not only with her voice, but with the way she glared at me.
“Claudia.” Claudia Martinez was a blast from the past. We—including Christian—had lived in the same apartment building before Rose and I moved to Vail.
She was a princess and the worst kind. Her parents both worked their asses off to support her, her sister, and her sister’s two children. Maria and Luis, Claudia’s parents, would skip a meal in order for Claudia to have the latest shoes, or designer clothes. She had champagne taste on a beer budget, and her poor folks suffered from it.
“Excuse, us.” I gripped Christian’s elbows, dragging him to his office. Throwing him on his office chair, I slammed the door. I was pissed.
“Wait! Before you rip off my balls and feed them to me, I was desperate, I need someone fast.”
“This makes it the second time you got desperate and went to her, Chris.” When he and I were involved I had had a tiny, teeny moment of jealousy when I found out Claudia was trying to get some of Christian. It was a stupid reason to be jealous because he wasn’t my boyfriend and I was sleeping around and so was he, but for some reason him sleeping with Claudia bugged the hell out of me.
&nbs
p; Christian grunted. “We were kids, baby.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’m not accountable for my actions around her, Christian. I’ll teach her some manners if I have to. My way.”
Christian rose with a certain look in his eyes, and I knew we weren’t talking about Claudia anymore. He backed me against the door, and I wasn’t aware I was stepping back until the wood hit the back of my head.
“What’s this?” he asked, pointing at the hickey.
“You know what it is.”
“You’re letting some dude mark you now?” His finger was still on my skin when he began curving his hand around the top of my breast. I pushed him back.
“He’s not some dude, I’m dating him.”
“It’s the guy with the beard, isn’t it?” He frowned.
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t he a little old for you?” Christian stood tall, his arms crossed over his chest, still displaying his frown of disproval.
“And what if he is? How does that concern you, Chris?”
He took in a sharp breath; he looked pissed. “You’re a bitch.”
“Excuse me?” Anger rose from the pit of my stomach.
“You know how I feel about you, Ava. Don’t you fucking look at me like you don’t know. For years I’ve been in love with you, then you up and leave and fall for some rich prick. Now you’re back and you’re with some guy who’s, what? Ten years older than you? Come into work with a fucking hickey on your tit, displaying it like it’s some sort of fucking badge of honor.” I reached out to try to console him, because regardless of what he had just called me, I still cared deeply for him. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” he roared.
“Chris, don’t do this, please don’t do this.”
“No! I’ve held back knowing you wouldn’t want to hear it because you have issues, but fuck, I’m tired of putting you first when you don’t even give a fuck about me.”
“That’s not true!” I begged, my eyes burning with tears. I couldn’t believe how much this was hurting. We were both startled by a hard knock on the door.
“Cristian, ya llego la otra mesera.” Jaime, our cook, was letting Christian know the other waitress was here.
“Orale.” He turned back to me. “We’re done with his conversation. I’d appreciate it if from now on we keep this,” he signaled between us, “strictly professional, which shouldn’t be hard for you because we weren’t really friends to begin with, were we?” I couldn’t even form any words. My chest hurt, and I was heartbroken that I had made him feel this way. Christian didn’t even bother waiting for a reply before he moved over to open the door that I was blocking. “Excuse me.” He spoke sharply, and I stepped out of the way.
***
Five minutes later, I stepped out of the office. Christian, Jade, and Claudia were all behind the bar with a very pretty brunette.
“Ava, this is Billie. She’s the part-time bartender and waitress,” Christian said, as I got closer to them. I reached over the bar to shake her hand.
“Nice to meet you,” we said to each other.
She was breathtaking; her eyes were the color of chocolate, standing out against the long thick eyelashes and the milky color of her skin. Billie was petite, around five-foot-two. Just from the way she carried herself, I could tell she was going to do very well here. While Christian explained how we did things at Blush, Jade and I prepared the bar for the night.
“What’s up with you two?” Jade asked once we were out of hearing range.
“I’m seeing someone.”
“The Beard?” she asked, and I chuckled before answering.
“Yeah, or Professor Maxwell as he’s known amongst his peers.”
“Damn girl, a professor? Good for you.” She nudged my ribs with her elbow. “And the boss man declared his undying love for you, which obviously isn’t how you feel.”
I sighed, letting out a heavy breath. “Something like that.”
***
The night dragged and I was in a foul mood I couldn’t shake off. Vanessa and Mallory showed up, but even that didn’t lift my mood. The constant pick-up lines were beginning to annoy me, which was unusual since they never got to me. They were cruder than normal, thanks to the massive mark on my chest.
“There’s your man.” Jade whispered to me as I was pouring a shot of Patron.
“And now the bane of my existence.” As I spotted Max close to the door, the guy I was serving the drink to was saying something about how he’d like to pour it on my ‘cunt’ as he sucked it off. The very thought made me want to vomit.
Relief flooded through me as Max approached the bar with his signature smolder, and a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. His stare moved down my shirt and settled on the red mark he’d left behind before he smiled in pride.
Jerk. As soon as he sat down, Claudia approached him. Back the fuck off! I couldn’t actually hear what she was saying to him but it was pretty obvious she was flirting. My anger had gone from pissed to near-psychotic in a matter of nanoseconds.
“Ava, think before you react,” Jade warned, noticing my distress.
My chest was rising, I was growing frantic. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom. And uh, cool off.”
“Good idea.” Jade patted my shoulder. “Billie, come here, honey, let me show you how it’s done.” She called the new girl over for some help before she turned back to me and nodded. “Go, take your time, I’m good here.”
Giving Jade a grateful semi-smile, I quickly made my way over to the back of the room and into the hallway that led to the restrooms. Inside, I glared at myself in the mirror.
“What is going on with you?” I said to myself.
“What is going on with you?” His deep voice filled the room before I heard a click on the door.
“You.” I pointed as he rounded the wall. “You and you’re fucking mouth, look what you did!” I pointed at the hickey that led to the fight with Christian and the annoying pick-up lines. “Because of you, I’ve had the worst night ever!”
Max didn’t even stop; he wasn’t intimidated by me. “Stop cursing,” he said, closing the distance between us. I tried to push him back, but he took my wrists and held them down on the counter.
“Fuck you, don’t tell me what to do.” I said through gritted teeth.
“And that is exactly what I intend to do, Peaches.” His lips crashed into mine, and I opened my mouth to take in his magical soft tongue. His grip on my wrists loosened and I jerked my hands away to grip his hair, pulling him to me, realizing how much I needed him, how much I needed his warmth and his body to make this night better. He groaned as I tugged harder on his hair.
“I need you, Max.” I broke the kiss, my gaze shifting from his swollen lips to his blissful dark eyes. Maxwell grabbed my face in his hands. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear before answering.
“I’m here, Ava.” He kissed me sweetly, making my stomach tighten with something I’d never felt before, something that needed to be doused with only physical pleasure.
“Fuck me, Professor,” I said against his lips. Max appeared disappointed, but only for a second before the sexual darkness returned to his eyes.
“Whatever you say, Peaches.”
***
Max sat at the bar watching me as I worked until my shift was over. After our quickie, he had gone cold and distant. He looked mad and I couldn’t understand why. We walked silently to my apartment; I assumed he was just walking home because he was acting so strange.
“You’re not going to invite me in?” he asked while I unlocked the door. Vanessa had gone home before Max arrived at the bar. I didn’t want to ring the doorbell and wake her up.
“You don’t look to happy with me right now, I wasn’t sure if I should.” I dropped the keys from the lock to look at him.
“You didn’t think to ask what was wrong?” He frowned.
“If you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.”
“You don�
��t care enough to ask what’s wrong when it’s pretty clear that I’m upset?”
“Of course I care, but if you want to tell me what’s wrong, then tell me. If you don’t, then don’t.” His frown deepened even further. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I unlocked the door. This night was just getting better and better. “Are you coming in or not?” I was acting like a bitch, which wasn’t the greatest way to start a relationship. Max ripped the handle away from me. “After you,” he ground out.
I marched in, and he locked the door behind us. I walked away, not bothering to turn on the light as I made my way to my room, secretly hoping he’d run into something. When I did hear an oomph from him hitting the sofa, I turned on my bedroom lamp, and the light spilled into the living room.
“Nice place,” he huffed, stepping into my bedroom and closing the door behind him.
“Thanks.” I began stripping out of my work clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting ready to take a shower, what are you doing?” I unbuttoned my pants and shimmied out of them.
“We’re not going to talk about it?” He looked perplexed and a little distracted, gawking over my underwear-clad body.
“Nope.” I tugged at my bra.
“Whoa, whoa, wait, you do that and I’ll forget what I wanted to say.”
“We don’t need to talk, Max.” Sighing in annoyance, I dropped my hands to my sides.
“Yes, we do.”
“Fine, talk.” I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around my body before sitting on the edge of my bed.
“I gather you’re not a fan of talking about your feelings.” He sat across from me, analyzing me.
“Nope.”
“Why?”
Porca miseria, I thought to myself. Out loud, I said, “I just don’t. What is it that you wanted to say?” I slowly untied my robe, over this whole talking bullshit. I might have stopped drinking, but that hadn’t stopped me from not wanting to talk.