by Olivia Snow
“What’s this?” I asked, the clear plastic cup resting on my palm.
“That is a sterile urine specimen collection cup.”
“To collect urine,” Dr. Parker chimed in.
“Are you two trying to be cute? I know what it is, why do I need it?”
“I need your urine to test for a particular parasite.”
They both chuckled.
“Pregnancy, Ava, he needs to perform a pregnancy test before the MRI,” the doc answered.
Parasite? Wow. I sighed, then gripped the cup as I made my way to the restroom. On the way out, I heard Dr. Assaf say, “She doesn’t think I’m funny.”
“Don’t take it personal, she doesn’t think anyone is funny,” Doc replied, and that made me smile.
***
There was no way I was pregnant, but I was still nervous. Then I started thinking about the possibility of it being something worse—a tumor or cancer. I groaned as the nausea made a comeback.
“Breathe, sweetheart,” Doc said. He wrapped his arm around me, and I placed my head on his shoulder.
“I met his wife today.”
He stilled, but only for a second. “She came back?”
“Yeah, I guess, I didn’t stay to find out the details.” When he didn’t say anything, and just continued to rub my arm, I carried on. “I told him everything, he knows about my father’s death, my addiction, and my mistakes. Not in details, but he knows.”
“I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell him. That shows progress, Ava.”
I didn’t say anything because if I did I would cry; I would let go of the hurt and I didn’t know what would be worse, holding it in or having physical proof that my heart was breaking. That I felt betrayed once again by someone I loved.
“There is good news and possibly bad or good news,” Dr. Assaf sang while reentering the room with a clipboard in his hands.
“Okay?” I pressed.
“Good news is that I know why you’re getting the headaches and nausea. Possibly bad or good news is I know why you’re getting the headaches and nausea.”
“Okay?”
“Congratulations, Ava, you’re pregnant.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ava
“Pregnancy hormones can cause migraines in some women. You’re one of the lucky few,” Dr. Assaf explained.
“That’s not possible, I’m on birth control. I have been for years.”
“That’s the thing about manmade objects. They’re not always one hundred percent effective.”
I was numb, numb all over. How was this possible? Oh, God what was I going to do? I couldn’t have a baby. I wasn’t married, the father was still married to another woman for fuck’s sake. The only man I had unprotected sex with and I get pregnant while on birth control.
Oh, universe, you bitch.
“Breathe, Ava.” Dr. Parker tightened his hold.
“Oh God.” I groaned, holding my stomach as I bent forward. “Oh, God, oh God, oh God.” My stomach tightened as I thought about how horribly I had been taking care of myself, and all the coffee I drank. That couldn’t be good for the baby.
“Wait, what about the hormones from the Depo-Provera? Wouldn’t that hurt or affect the baby?”
“No, the hormones won’t affect the fetus, it’ll flush out of your system soon. The women who do get pregnant while on birth control end up giving birth to perfectly healthy babies.” Baby, I was going to have a baby. Oh, fuck. Oh God. There was a knock on the door and it opened to a nurse with an ultrasound machine.
“Want to meet your baby?” she asked.
My baby. My baby. I was going to be a mom. I nodded yes, not trusting my voice to work. They all excused themselves so that I could undress. Dr. Parker gave me one last squeeze before exciting the room.
It felt liberating to know I was doing this alone. I was strong and self-sufficient; I had been for a very long time. This was no different, except there would be a little person who depended on me. I had to think of that now. My baby came first.
“There.” After everything was set up, he pointed at a distorted circle. “That is what we call a yolk sac. It’s too early to see a heartbeat, but it all looks good. You’re cooking up a healthy baby. You’ll need to make an appointment in four weeks with your OB.” He hit a button and images started coming out of the machine. He handed them to me as he removed the wand. I didn’t even feel it because I was mesmerized by what was on the picture.
My baby, my tiny little baby. Doc drove in silence while I held onto pamphlets, the ultra sound pictures, and a bottle of prenatal vitamins he insisted on stopping by the pharmacy to buy for me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“Not really, I just want to go home and sleep. It’s been a long night.”
He dropped me off in front of my apartment building, and told me to call him if I needed anything else. I agreed, giving him a quick hug and telling him thank you before I rushed into the apartment to collapse on my bed and forget everything else. My phone rang a familiar song, but I couldn’t shake the sleepiness away to make out what it was.
“Hello?” I answered, not looking at who was calling so early in the morning. My alarm hadn’t gone off so I knew it was earlier than what I was used.
“Ava?” A smile spread across my face at the sound of his little voice. I took a second to look at the screen of my phone, seeing Max’s name. His picture on the screen reminded me of last night.
“Hey, man-cub. Does your dad know you’re using his phone?” My voice was raspy with sleep.
“No, he’s taking a shower.”
“Okay, where’s your mom?” I asked, concerned they’d left the poor boy unattended.
“She’s sleeping.” The thought of her sleeping and Maxwell showering after a night of make-up sex made my stomach churn. Sorry, baby. I patted my flat stomach. “She made pancakes, but they didn’t taste like your pancakes. Hers were brown and dry she doesn’t know what I like, she doesn’t know how Dad likes his coffee either.”
“She just needs to learn, bud. You gotta tell her, but say it nicely, okay?”
“Why weren’t you here when I woke up? I thought you were moving in with me?” I chuckled, but before I could answer I heard Max say something to Aidan.
“It’s Ava, Dad,” he explained.
“Get dressed for school,” Max said from a distance.
“Bye, Ava, I have to get dressed,” he said in a sad little voice.
“I’ll talk to you later, bud,” I replied before Max got on the phone.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi.”
“Are you coming today?” he asked, sounding nervous and uncertain.
“Unless you’ve decided to fire me, Mr. Gallagher.”
“Don’t. Don’t do that, Ava, I’m still Max. I haven’t been Mr. Gallagher for a long time and you know that.”
“I—” I stopped myself. How was I going to tell him I was pregnant? I knew I needed to break things off with him. I didn’t want him to feel pressured into being with me the way he felt with Gwen. He’d be in his kid’s life, but not in mine. “We need to talk.”
“No, baby, I’m not letting you do this. I’m not letting you go, I told you I loved you. Last night I was an idiot, and I’m sorry she caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting to see her, especially having her catch us in such a compromising situation. I made a mistake.”
“Fine, you’re forgiven, but we still need to talk.” I made my way to the toilet, already feeling the nausea. “I’ll see you in a few.”
With that, I hung up the phone, and hung my head over the toilet. Then I stood naked in front of my mirror, but I didn’t see anything different. My body was still the same. My boobs were a little bigger, but it was way too early to tell.
I knew no one would know I was pregnant from just looking at me, but inside there was a little person growing, getting stronger, and getting smarter. I loved that; the sensation was nothing like I’d ev
er felt before or could ever explain.
The only thing that came to mind was light. There was a light inside of me, warmth in knowing I was keeping my baby safe and sound, that it was the beat of my heart rocking her to sleep.
My face began to hurt and when I looked up I was surprised to see that I was smiling, a big satisfying smile. Well, damn, that was different. Better than my usual scowl. I grabbed a simple purple summer dress with cupped sleeves to wear. It was late September in Colorado, so it was either summer hot, winter cold, or just in the middle.
Today, bipolar Colorado had decided to be summer hot. I braided my hair to the side, and it fell past my stomach. It was time for a cut. It was getting harder and harder to manage.
I loved my long hair, but now it was a long mess.
***
I noticed two things when I parked outside the Gallagher house. There was a shiny silver sports car parked in my usual spot. Most importantly, Aidan was sitting alone on the porch.
“Hey, buddy, why are you sitting out here by yourself?” I asked, plopping down next to him.
“Dad and Mommy are fighting. They’re pretending they’re not but they are. They think I don’t understand. But I do, I’m almost seven, you know.”
I put my arm around him, knowing there was no way in hell I would ever let him go. He was mine regardless of what happened between Max and me. I would still be in Aidan’s life; I’d make sure of it. I wasn’t going to be another woman who abandoned him.
“Why don’t you go wait for me in the car? I’ll go tell your dad we’re leaving.”
“Cool, can I have the keys?” His eyes were big, pleading, and cute.
“Pfft, no, it’s unlocked. I’ll be out soon.”
I gave him a kiss on his forehead, and watched him skip to the car. Inside the house, I could hear them talking in low voices, and it was obvious they weren’t happy with each other. I crossed the entryway. In one corner of the kitchen was Gwen, and on the other side was the father of my unborn child. The man who’d turned my life upside down. He wasn’t in his professor attire, only in jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, but he looked incredible with his mountain man beard, his disheveled hair.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I’ll be taking Aidan to school now,” I said before turning back around toward the front door.
I heard Maxwell’s footsteps behind me, so I sped up, trying to get out of the house as fast as possible. Once I reached the porch, Max’s hands were gripping my arm.
“Baby, please, I’m so sorry. Peaches, please. I missed you so much last night, please, baby…forgive me.” He moved his hand down to my stomach and I flinched. Gripping his hand, I stopped him. My baby, our baby. Turning to face him, I looked into his beautiful dark eyes.
“No, Max, I can’t do this. It’s over, we can’t be together.” I’ve never seen a sadder man than the one standing in front of me; it killed me to do this to him. My heart broke a thousand times just by the look on his face.
“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I love you, I’m not letting you go.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer before he buried his face in between my shoulder and neck. He was suffocating me, but not physically; he was making this harder than it had to be.
“Max, no.” I breathed in, choking on tears as he only held me tighter. “Max, I’m pregnant.” That made him loosen his grip. He dropped his hands and moved back to look at me.
“You’re pregnant?” He said it in one breath as if he couldn’t believe it. “I thought you were on birth control?”
“I am, the doctor said it’s not always one hundred percent effective. There’s still that one percent.” I covered my face because even saying it out loud was ridiculous.
“You’re serious?” He sounded happy, which surprised me. I uncovered my face to see Maxwell’s wide smile. “We’re having a baby?”
“Wait, you’re happy about this?”
“I…I didn’t think I would be, but yeah, baby. I’m fucking ecstatic!” He gripped my ribs, picking me up and lifting me into the air before taking me in for a hug. “Oh, Ava, I love you so much. You make me so happy.” Tears flooded my eyes while I hugged him back, inhaling his smell, the scent of home. “Let’s get married.”
That was one way to dry up my tears. I pushed myself down from him, my hands on my hips as I glared at him.
“Are you fucking crazy? We are not getting married, you’re still married.”
“No, she signed the papers last night.”
My stomach dropped. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, Ava, I told you I love you, I’m sorry about last night. I was a total idiot. I will never do anything like that again. Please, Peaches, forgive me. Let’s get married and have a baby.” He dropped to his knees, cradling me, bringing me closer to him as he kissed my stomach. I was getting hungry, but not for food, and he knew it from the way my breathing had changed. He gently reached up the backs of my thighs and under my dress, his fingertips digging into the naked flesh of my ass. I looked frantically over at my car to make sure Aidan wasn’t witnessing his father groping me. Luckily, he had his head buried in his science book. When I glanced back at Max, I realized he was looking eagerly at my erect nipples. He stood, placing his hand on my hip as he moved slowly up toward my breast.
“Seriously, Mac? You can’t keep your hands off of her for one second? I’m still here, you know, have some respect.” Gwen stepped out of the house with a suitcase in each hand.
“Leaving so soon?” I asked, unable to help myself. Max glared at me before taking her bags. He walked down to her car and placed them in the trunk.
“He’ll get bored, you know, then he’ll realize we were meant to be.” She seethed.
“Weren’t you just handed divorce papers?” I asked. She scoffed and walked down to her ugly little car. I called out, “Tootles,” and waved. Maxwell was fighting a laugh while he opened the door for her. Once she was inside, the door shut, she peeled out of the driveway without bothering to say goodbye to her son.
“Let’s take Aidan to school and then I’m taking you to your place so I can fuck you silly,” he said, holding his hand out to help me down the stairs.
“Mmm, is that a promise, Professor?” I asked, my hands on his chest. He hissed, while squeezing my behind.
“You bet your fine ass it is.”
I stopped him in the middle of the driveway. “I love you, Max.”
He kissed my knuckles before resuming our walk. “I know, Peaches.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Vanessa
Dressing took longer than expected. Diesel kept kissing me and pulling me back down to the blanket. But as the night continued, we agreed to really get dressed and go back to the fire to get warmed up.
When we arrived, the party had dwindled, but there was still a large of amount of partygoers around the fire. Beau returned with the guitar and handed it to Diesel.
“How about now?” he asked. Diesel grinned before placing a kiss on my lips. He grabbed my hand and led me to a chair. I sat down next to him.
After tuning the guitar, everyone stopped to listen to him play. My heartbeat quickened as I remembered the song. Diesel’s voice was raspy and sexy; it reminded me of dark velvet. I didn’t know if he knew the song or if he had memorized it just like I did on our drive to Oklahoma. But he sang and played “It Goes Like This” as if it was something he’d written and composed. The entire time, his gaze never left mine; he sang the song to me like we were the only people around. When he finished he leaned over, and planted a big kiss on my lips.
“Since when do play songs like that?” Duke asked.
Diesel set the guitar down and reached over to pull me onto his lap.
“Since it makes my girl smile,” he replied, looking at me.
“Your girl?” Axel asked.
“My girl, ain’t that right, baby?”
“It sure is,” I whispered against his lips. He nipped my bottom lip and I whimpered a little. If he didn�
��t stop this, I was going to let him take me right there right then. The gang blew out a whistle before continuing conversations amongst themselves.
“You sore, baby?” he whispered against my ear as he kissed my neck.
“Mmm, only a little.” I could feel my nipples harden. “Nothing that could stop me from wanting you again.”
Diesel hissed against my skin. “Who would have thought Ms. Prim and Proper Vanessa Saint John was a naughty girl on the inside?”
I chuckled, closing my eyes, loving the way his teeth and tongue felt on my skin.
“Only with you, Diesel,” I exhaled, biting my bottom lip.
“That’s right, baby, only with me.”
***
Before going back to his mom’s house, Diesel and I stopped at a secluded part of town where we made love again, but in his truck this time. The next morning I awoke alone in his bed, sore in all the right places. Diesel had slept on the couch; we didn’t want to sleep in the same bed out of respect for his mother.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and there was a knock on the door before it opened. Diesel stepped in wearing workout shorts and nothing else. Yummy.
“You look hungry,” he said, moving toward me.
I stood. Meeting him at the edge of his bed. “I am.” I grazed my hands from his swollen abs to his solid chest. Diesel hissed before gripping me closer.
“For food, baby.”
“Yeah, that too,” I replied and he chuckled.
“Come on, let me feed you. Food.”
I pouted.
“Oooh, she pouts. Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ll take care of you later.” He winked, holding my hand as he led me to the kitchen were Grace was hard at work. Letting go of his hand, I rushed over to Grace.
“Let me help you with that,” I said as she poured gravy over biscuits.