“Put your knees on either side of my head.”
She did as he told her and then she gripped the headboard for support as he thrust his tongue into her softness. She tasted sweet and hot, like warm honey, and he parted her with his fingers so he could gain better access to all of her.
“Kevin. My God,” she gasped, her body jerking as he licked and sucked her clit again and again. He was mad with the desire to make her come, to make her feel so good she had to scream his name or burst holding it in.
It didn’t take long. He felt her stiffen, felt her entire body vibrating—and then the tension burst as he tugged on her clit harder than before.
“Kevin!”
He loved that she said his name like that, in a way no one else did. He’d been Kev since he’d been a kid—Kevvie to his mother and sister—but no one ever called him Kevin, besides the military and his father.
But the way Lucky said it. God. It sounded sweet, not filled with hate or anger or pain or command. Sweet and beautiful, and he wanted to hear it again.
When she stopped trembling, he looked up at her, at the way she looked shell-shocked and satisfied all at once. A prickle of unease filled him then. What if she regretted it now? What if the lustful haze was gone, and she was horrified by what they’d done?
She blushed and turned her head away, and he felt that same kick in the gut he’d felt the first instant he’d seen her again on the beach in Hawaii.
“Do you want to stop this and go back to your room?”
She didn’t look at him, but she shook her head.
“Lucky. What’s wrong?”
She eased away from him, until she was straddling his chest rather than his head, and then she lifted her gaze to his and he saw the tears there. His gut clenched hard.
“I haven’t felt like that in a long time,” she whispered. “A long damn time.”
He sat up and hugged her to him. He didn’t want to think about when she’d last felt that way, or about the man who’d done these things to her before tonight. If he let his mind go there, the emotion would break through the thin membrane holding it beneath the surface.
He didn’t want to think about what would happen if it did.
Her legs were around his waist and her ass was between his legs. She put her head on his shoulder and clung to him. He could feel her heart hammering in her chest, and he pushed her back until he could see her eyes. They were shiny and liquid and she bit her lip as if that could keep the tears from escaping.
Kev pushed her hair out of her face. She’d been through so much. Too much. He wanted to make it all go away, but he knew he couldn’t. All he could do was give her this night, if she still wanted it. This experience.
“The night’s not over yet.”
Her smile almost broke his heart. “I’m glad. Because I need more, Kev. More of you.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
She was scared in a way, and yet she felt brave too. Because Kev was holding her close, his naked body solid and warm, his hands rubbing a sizzling trail up and down her spine. She hadn’t known what to expect or how she would react, but she didn’t want this to stop. For the first time in forever, she felt almost normal.
Kev’s eyes were serious as he gazed at her. “Are you ready?”
She almost could have laughed, but she knew he was being careful because of her. Because of what he knew about her.
She realized she was still clutching the condom in her hand, and she tore it open and slid it down his hard length. He didn’t utter a sound as she did so, but she knew by the jerk of his body that her touch affected him.
He shifted her closer, lifting her up and entering her body as they sat facing each other. Lucky’s breath caught at the intensity of his invasion. His cock stretched her open, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It was… intimate. Arousing.
The closeness, the rawness, made her heart thrum. She forced her mind from going to the most obvious place, to the last man she’d made love with. No way could she go there. Not right now.
“You’re so wet,” he growled. “So perfect.”
Lucky breathed him in, his slightly spicy, earthy scent, and shuddered with the feelings he called up inside her.
They sat face to face, his body deep inside hers, until she began to squirm with the need to have him move, to have something happen so her brain would stop trying to go where she didn’t want it to go.
“Kevin. Please… oh, please.”
He captured one of her nipples in his mouth and began that sensual tug-of-war he’d done to her earlier. Her fingers curled into his hard shoulders as she arched her back and tried to catch the edge of pleasure that lay just out of reach. It was so close, so close…
When she could wait no more, she lifted her hips and sank down on him. He made a noise deep in his throat that thrilled her, so she did it again. And again.
She understood then that he was letting her take control, letting her set the pace, and her heart pinched.
She pushed him back until he lay on the bed and she was straddling him once more. Then she kissed him so she didn’t have to look into his eyes, so she didn’t have to wonder if he was trying not to think about Marco too.
Kev gripped her hips in tight fingers and helped her move, thrusting up inside her with every downstroke of hers.
It had been so long since she’d had sex that it felt as if he would split her in two, and yet it felt wonderful at the same time. Because she was so wet. Because he moved hotly, slickly, perfectly.
She gasped and groaned and kissed him harder until he tore his mouth from hers.
“I need to take control. Can you handle that?”
She looked down at his beautiful, taut face, saw the restraint there. For her sake. He was being careful for her. It melted something inside her, some last little barrier that she hadn’t known was there.
“I trust you.”
He pulled her down with a groan and rolled until she was beneath him. Vaguely, she thought that she should feel a moment of panic at being under such a big, powerful man. At being within his control, his power.
He dwarfed her, but it didn’t waken the terror within her. Lucky closed her eyes and gave herself up to the chaotic feelings rolling through her. She was with Kev for the first time ever—and maybe the last time too—and she wasn’t going to allow anything to ruin the experience.
Not yet.
He put a hand under her ass and lifted her to him—and then he thrust hard and deep, making her cry out at the sensation this new angle created.
“More,” she moaned when he would have stopped. “More.”
She could feel his heart beating hard in his chest as she ran her hands over his skin, and it made her breath catch. He took her deeper into the abyss of pleasure with every hard thrust, every perfect roll of his hips. She wrapped her legs around him and let him take her wherever he wanted her to go.
He went slow at first, sliding hard into her, and then faster, his body relentless as it pushed hers toward the edge. And then she caught fire, her body tightening, straining toward release, aching for that perfect moment when her orgasm would hit her.
It happened suddenly, hitting her with a sharpness that made her gasp his name again and again as her body shattered and dissolved beneath his expert ministrations.
Vaguely, she was aware of his release, a hard, thumping orgasm that jerked through him and left him groaning brokenly in her ear.
His hand slid down her side, over the slickness of her skin—and then he lifted himself off her and left the bed. Lucky prayed the awkwardness of sex with a man she wasn’t supposed to want wouldn’t appear yet, but of course it did.
She could hear him in the bathroom, disposing of the condom and maybe hoping she would get up and go before he returned. She sat there a heartbeat too long, debating with herself over whether or not it was cowardly to slink away, when he came out of the bathroom and their gazes clashed.
He looked… troubled. It was the only word for it, and her he
art fell. She’d asked him to do something that caused him pain. She slid from the bed and started groping for her clothes where they were strewn across the floor. Her vision was blurry, and she rubbed her arm over her eyes as she kept feeling for which garments were hers.
“Lucky.”
She straightened, a pile of clothing in her arms, and clutched the garments to her. She couldn’t face him. “It’s okay. I’m going.”
His hands settled on her shoulders. And then he pulled her back against his naked body, and she shuddered with renewed heat.
“Do you want to go?” he asked, his voice a soft rumble as he bent his head and whispered in her ear.
She should. She should go and curl into her own bed and try to forget everything that had just happened between them.
But she knew she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She shook her head, and Kev reached around and gently took the clothing from her arms and dropped it on the floor. She shuddered again as he led her to the bed and flipped the covers back for her. She climbed in, her heart pounding anew as she lifted her gaze and let it glide over his muscled form. He was half-hard already and an answering ache set up a drumbeat in her core.
She wanted him again with a need that surprised her. He sank down beside her and then rolled her under him again. He dwarfed her with his size, but she wasn’t afraid. Not of Kev.
His lips found hers again, and her hands glided over smooth, hard muscle. She was lost, lost…
His phone rang and he swore softly before reaching for it. This close to a mission, she knew he couldn’t ignore it. He answered with a clipped “MacDonald.”
And then he rolled away and sat up, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “No, I’m not busy. Be right down.”
***
Kev yanked on his clothes and pounded down the stairs. He wanted nothing more than to ignore his visitor, but if he didn’t go down and answer the door, Billy would know all his protestations about everything being fine were a lie.
When Kev opened the door, Billy stood with his hands shoved in his pockets, looking serious. One eyebrow rose as he took in Kev’s hair—sticking up where Lucky had run her fingers through it, no doubt—and the rumpled state of his clothing.
“You look as if you just got out of bed.”
“I did.” The best lie was the closest to the truth, after all. “We’ve had early mornings and late nights these days. And no end in sight, right?”
“Yeah.” Billy looked down at his feet. “Look, I’ll just go. You should have told me you were sleeping.”
A pang of guilt lanced into him. “Come in, man. It’s cold out there.”
Billy came in and took his jacket off and hung it on the rack. Then he went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, just like always. The guys often showed up unannounced at each other’s places. It was just part of the brotherhood. They were close, and when they were about to go on an op, there were all kinds of thoughts ramming around in their heads.
“Want one?” Billy asked, as if it were his house instead of Kev’s. Also normal.
“Sure.”
Billy took out another one and twisted off the top before handing it to him. Kev took a long drink—he’d worked up a helluva thirst, after all—and looked at Billy evenly.
“Everything okay?”
Billy leaned against the counter and shoved a hand through his hair. “I didn’t go home after we left the bar. Been driving around and thinking.”
“About?”
“The mission. This one, the one where we lost Marco and Jim.” He shrugged. “A lot of things.”
Kev took another drink. He didn’t want to think about that mission right now, but God knows he had been. It was never far from his mind.
Billy’s eyes looked heavenward. Or, in this case, to the second floor. “Must be hard, having her here. Being responsible for her.”
Kev’s heart thumped painfully. “It’s not easy, but it’s the job.”
Billy sighed and rolled his neck to pop out the kinks. “I know how much Marco meant to you. And I really want to know your head’s in the right place for this. Because it’s your ass—all our asses—on the line out there. It’s risky taking a noncom like Lucky into battle, and yet we have no choice. Every fucking thing about this mission makes me uneasy.”
Kev felt the guilt flare in his belly. His teammate was worried about him, about the mission. “My head’s in the right place.”
Billy frowned. “I know what it was like for you after we came back with the caskets. You forget I was there when you called her and she never answered. And I’ve seen the way you look at her now, man. Like you’d eat her up if she’d let you.”
“Jesus.” Kev slammed the beer down on the counter, though he knew he should maintain his cool. Blowing his stack only made it worse, and yet it was personal. Between him and Lucky.
“Have you seen her? She’s hotter than fuck. Of course I’d like to nail her—if she wasn’t Marco’s widow. But she is and I can’t.”
Liar. He’d just been buried balls-deep inside her and not thinking about anything but how good it felt. He’d wanted his name on her lips as she came. It was fucking addicting to hear her cry out like that.
Guilt flashed through him as Billy held up a hand. “All right, dude. I crossed a line there.” He set the beer down, twirled it absently on the counter. “There’s something else.”
“What?”
“I’ve been thinking about what it was like when we got her out of there the last time.”
Kev’s gut twisted. They’d burst into the house she’d been held in like a cyclone, and they’d systematically taken out every last tango on site. But Al Ahmad hadn’t been there. The CIA had him pinned down in another part of town. They’d claimed their sniper got him, but it obviously wasn’t true. Lucky had been chained to a bed in her underwear, the sheets stained with her blood. She’d been weak and scared. Kev had found her first. Billy had been his partner on that op, and he’d come into the room next.
They’d cut the chains, and Kev had scooped her against his body while Billy whipped a blanket off a chair that sat in the room. He’d covered her with it, and then they’d humped it out of there before more tangos arrived. No one else had seen her chained to that bed but the two of them.
“I don’t think either of us will ever forget it.”
Billy shook his head. “She went through a lot with Al Ahmad. Do you think she can handle this? Do you think she’ll find him for us, or are we asking too much of her?”
This was the part Kev couldn’t be certain about. Oh, he was certain she wanted to find the target. And that she would work hard to do so. But what if Al Ahmad was too smart for them? What if she’d forgotten his voice—or his face, since she’d only seen it briefly? What if he found her first?
Kev’s spine was ice at the thought.
If Al Ahmad took her again, Kev would tear Qu’rim apart trying to find her. He wouldn’t care about uranium or chemical weapons. He’d only care about finding Lucky. And that was what scared him shitless in the middle of the night.
“I think she’ll do her best. And I think her best is pretty damn good for someone who isn’t a special operator. She wants to find him as much as we do. Maybe more.”
“Yeah, but what happens when she gets out there? It’s going to bring up bad memories.”
Kev picked up his beer again and took a long draught. He thought of Lucky’s scars, of the way she’d tried to hide from him. He’d wanted to obliterate the man who’d done that to her. How had Marco lived with it?
Kev gripped the beer bottle tight. He didn’t want to do this right now, but there was no graceful way out. “All we can do is make her feel safe and give her room to operate. She’ll find him.”
Billy’s gaze flickered behind him, toward the stairs, then back again. Kev wondered if Lucky had come down, but he wouldn’t turn to look. He wouldn’t give himself away like that. Besides, she would have put her clothes on. There was nothing to worry about. But she
didn’t appear, and Billy pushed away from the counter.
“Guess I better get home. Thanks for the beer.”
After Billy was gone, Kev went back upstairs, determined to hold Lucky close for the rest of the night. Right now, he didn’t even care if they had sex again. He just cared about being next to her, smelling her skin, feeling her heat against his body.
But when he opened his bedroom door, Lucky wasn’t in his bed. Her clothes were no longer on the floor. He sagged against the jamb and stared at the rumpled sheets while his heart squeezed and his lungs worked to pull in air against the sudden tightness in his chest.
She’d gone back to her own bed. He thought about going after her. But he’d let her call the shots tonight, and she was clearly calling another one.
Kev shut the door and peeled off his clothes. Then he got into bed—and promptly threw the pillow that smelled like her shampoo on the floor.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
December 28th
Baq, Qu’rim
Qu’rim was like an oven inside a blast furnace after the frigidness of DC. Lucky walked down the gangway and onto the tarmac as a wall of heat assailed her lungs. She’d put on an abaya and a hijab before they’d left Morocco, and now she was wishing she could strip it off and bare her skin to whatever air might be moving out here.
She shaded her eyes—though she was wearing sunglasses—and gazed across the tarmac at the mobile missile launchers parked on the other side of the runway.
Kev stopped beside her, his brow glistening with sweat, his eyes hidden behind aviator sunglasses. And then he grinned at her—the first time he’d done so in days—and her heart turned over. Jeez, he was handsome. And not hers, no matter what they were pretending.
“Well, darlin’,” he said, turning up the drawl, “you sure are a good little wife to want to come with me to this hot place while I take photos for the magazine.”
Lucky’s heart thumped. He’d been blasting her with Southern charm for hours now. It was for the mission, but it was starting to grate. “That’s me, sugar dumpling. A good wife.”
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