by Bec McMaster
McClain stood still, her palms pressed against his chest, holding his shirt open. The heat of his skin was delicious—the temperature dangerously spiked from where it had been the other day, when she'd lain with him. A full moon fever dancing through his veins and gleaming within his eyes.
Warg eyes. The silver cat-shine of them flashed through his irises, then was gone again, as if he locked the beast tight within him.
"You shouldn't be here," he said in a broken voice. The grip on her wrists slackened, and for the first time since she'd met him, Adam McClain looked like a single blow might fell him. Her heart ached at the sight, for he was the strongest, steadiest man she'd ever met.
That was the moment Mia knew she was not wrong. She hadn't misjudged him. The risk was acceptable.
McClain was both monster and man, and the man hated its other half. What would it be like to know what you were? To know that no God-fearing person would ever look at you like you were just a man ever again, if they knew the truth? To believe that you could never get close to another person—to never trust a lover with the truth—for fear of watching them walk away.
It would be the loneliest life of all, and her heart broke for him.
McClain's people had turned him away. It was written all over him, and the effect that such a betrayal had had. She might have been furious about the secret he'd kept from her—especially after her experience with Jake, and the damage that secrets did—but for the first time she was able to look at all of it through unjaded eyes. McClain never wanted to hurt her. All he'd ever dared risk was a single night in her bed, but she had the suspicion that he wasn't just trying to protect her in such a thing, but also himself.
Never get close. Never lose your heart. Never take that risk again. God, she knew exactly how he felt deep down in his bones. And it was lonely and heartbreaking, and became a slow burial of oneself. She couldn't do that to him.
And as Sage said, she needed to stop doing it to herself.
"I'm not going anywhere, Adam McClain. You're such an idiot." Closing her eyes, Mia stretched up on her toes and brushed her mouth against his. "But I know why you didn't tell me. And I can't blame you. Perhaps it was for the best?" She breathed the words against his lips. "Because I don't know if I could have accepted the truth before now. But I do. You're a warg," she whispered. "A warg. But you're not a monster."
McClain gasped, breaking away from her. "Mia—"
"Kiss me."
Their mouths found each other in the dark. Just a taste, once, twice. His body went rigid, as if thoughts were still ticking away at the back of his mind, telling him all the reasons they shouldn't be doing this. She slid her tongue between his lips. Yes, her mouth said. McClain's lips chased hers as she retreated, and she felt the tremor in his body as he gave in.
Their lips fused together as Mia's hand slid down that rock-hard chest of his. So firm. She flexed her fingers against the muscle in his abs. How long had she wanted to do this? The man was a fucking god carved from stone, all smooth lines and hard planes, like a river had slowly, lovingly carved out curves in its cavern walls. And she was drowning in the taste of him, the feel of him beneath her hands.
Mia saw her future opening up in front of her.
This man. This man was all she wanted for herself. She curled her arms around his neck in a fervent yes. It was so much simpler like this. Just feeling, instead of thinking so bloody much.
McClain's hand slid down her back, pushing her hard against him. The kiss deepened, consumed. It felt like she'd thrown oil on the fire, for McClain's hesitance gave way to true hunger. His body was a solid wall against her, engorged cock pressing insistently into her hip. Hands firm. All over her. Teeth sinking into her lower lip—
McClain broke the kiss, gasping as he drew away from her.
"Wait!" Mia caught his hand, trying to catch her own breath. "What are you doing?"
"It's difficult right now." His voice was harsher, lower, not quite human. His eyes gleamed, before darting away from her as if to hide himself. "I want you."
"Then have me."
The breath punched out of him. "Mia." He raked his fingers through his short hair, almost sharp enough to cut his scalp with his fingernails. "You don't know what it's like, burning beneath your skin. I can keep it at bay most of the time, but it's harder now with the moon, and with you...."
"Promise you're not going to unleash your wild side on me?"
"What?"
Mia dragged her fingernails over his denim-clad thigh. Their eyes met, a serious question in hers. Her humor slipped, but then it had only ever been a façade. "This won't change you, will it?"
He shook his head. "No, Mia. I've never lost control... not with... this." Touching the pewter medallion, he brushed his fingers there. A confession loomed in the sudden tightening of his shoulders. "The hunger gets worse at this time of the month. The need.... I'm not entirely human in my desires."
"A bit of PLS?"
He didn't get the joke. Or maybe he wasn't in the mood to do so.
"Pre-lunar syndrome," she said
When she brushed the back of her fingers against his jaw, McClain grew agitated. "I want to take you. Right here, right now. I want to push you onto the ground and fuck you." His eyes blazed as he nipped at her fingers. "Is that what you want? For I won't be gentle. It won't be like last time. I'll fuck you, and then I'll do it again. I'll rut over you 'til morning and it will be teeth and nails in skin, with you screaming into my shoulder. It will be... a claiming."
He looked ashamed as he sank down onto a boulder.
Mia considered him, only for a moment. Then she slid into his lap and began to unbutton her shirt.
"Mia." His voice was raw. "This is truly your last chance to say no." The vein in his temple was throbbing, and she could see the truth in his eyes. "If this happens tonight, I don't think I could let you go come morning. This is the point of no return for me. For you."
"I'm not saying no," she told him firmly, then leaned closer to lick his jaw and breathe the words in his ear. "Fuck me, Adam. Show me who you are. Trust me. Trust me to guard your heart. Trust me to take what you can give. Claim me. The second I kissed you was the point of no return for me."
A growl in her ear. Nervousness bit through her, but she arched her throat back, granting him access. Granting him surrender.
Constrained, in-control-of-himself Adam McClain lost it. Hands skimmed up her body, his teeth sinking into her throat as he suckled hard.
Mia cried out, her entire body jerking. God. Yes.
Grabbing her by the hips, he stood and wrapped her thighs around him, taking her mouth in a furious kiss. Then her back hit his blankets and he was looming over her, pressing her down onto his sleeping gear. Another furious kiss. Hands caught in her shirt and he tugged like he was trying to get it over her head, then simply tore it clean up the center.
Maybe she should have been frightened. His eyes were pure silver now, but as his hard body came over her again, blotting out the moon, she knew she didn't have anything to fear. Hands unclasped her bra, and then his mouth was on her breasts, the rasp of his stubble making her cry out. Heat enveloped her nipple as his mouth closed over her, and Mia rocked beneath him, arching up into the hard thrust of the erection trapped behind his jeans.
Felt so good. She couldn't stop touching him. All these long days of denying herself... gone now. And now she wanted more.
Mia found the buttons on his jeans and tugged them open. McClain's cock spilled into her eager hands. As she licked his neck she could taste the soap on his skin from the quick bath they'd all had down at the river earlier.
"I love you," Mia whispered in his ear. It was easy to do when he wasn't looking at her. Maybe she'd be able to say it under the light of day, one day soon.
McClain growled, and those clever fingers worked their way inside her jeans and then her panties.
It wasn't enough. She wanted them off. Pushing his greedy hands aside, she dragged her jeans down her l
egs, and McClain helped her with her panties. Then he was over her again, that firm erection brushing between her legs.
"Yes!" Mia whispered.
She was already wet with anticipation when he spread her thighs and drove his cock inside her. No chance to catch her breath from the fierce pleasure of the invasion, for McClain was all over her, biting at her throat, thrusting his hips against hers, pinning her wrists to the ground.
It was nothing like their previous night together.
Here was Adam McClain unleashed, and her one last thought as she came with a shocking scream of pleasure was that she wouldn't have it any other way.
SUNLIGHT WARMED HIS SKIN, chasing away the desert night chill.
Adam blinked sleepily, feeling utterly worn out. His muscles ached, and there was a rapid burning in his back that told him something was healing, but for the first time in years he felt fucking awesome.
And then memory came flooding back in, half-cast vignettes of the night before assaulting him like rapid-fire bullets. Mia. Kissing him. Beneath him. Her body, soft and warm. Crying out, gasping in his ear... her nails digging into his back.
Mia. He'd had sex with Mia.
No, not just had sex. Rough, dirty, animal sex. He'd fucked her, downright claimed her, and all night too.
And she knew what he was.
Panic danced along his nerves and he stiffened, realizing that there was a warm, soft weight in his arms. His arm hung negligently over her waist, and their hands were still clasped, as if they'd finally fallen asleep like that.
You're a warg, she'd whispered. His entire world tore itself apart at hearing those words from her pretty mouth, and then... her palm cupping his jaw as she touched him. It had been like a knife to the heart. She'd owned him in that instant, but his first instinct had been denial. How could she touch him like that? How could she look at him as if she still saw him? Him, Adam. Not something else, something monstrous. How could he trust it? Had it been a mirage? A dream? A conjuring of his desperate mind?
You're a warg. But you're not a monster.
God, how many times had he prayed for a woman to look at him like that and say those words? Hope wove through him like a treacherous snake.
Adam lifted his head off the blanket that was rolled around them, his gut muscles clenching as he took stock of the situation. Hell. Mia was pressed up tight against him, her lush bottom pressing into his groin. And his cock was definitely aware of that fact.
"Morning," came her whisper and she stretched, pressing back into him, before stiffening. A sleepy eye glanced back over her shoulder. Then she smiled.
It was like the sun suddenly appearing over the horizon, in his chest. That smile. It owned him.
"Please tell me you're not pointing that thing at me."
Adam eased back against her, swallowing hard. Easier to pretend that nothing momentous had happened. He needed time to process this. "That thing? I'd be affronted, but you sound entirely too pleased with yourself this morning."
Mia almost purred. "I am pleased. I am also thoroughly, unashamedly debauched. Do you know the worst thing?"
His heart launched into his throat. "What?"
"Colton's giving your bike back today, and I think Sage and Jake need some alone time in the jeep. I have to get onto the back of a motorbike." A wince furrowed her brow. "And sit there for hours. I don't think I can even walk, let alone ride."
Jesus. "Are you sore?"
Mia turned and snuggled into his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "A little. But in the smuggest way." Dark lashes tipped up, revealing a pretty brown eye. "I like your dark side, McClain. He's very intense. Very demanding."
Adam had no idea how to answer that. So he simply lay with one hand cupping his head and Mia snuggled in against his side. "I feel like the luckiest man alive today."
"You should get laid more often. It turns you into a teddy bear."
He smiled. For years he hadn't felt like he deserved to feel happy, but there was an incredible lightness in his chest. In his heart. Then reality returned.
This wasn't over. It would never be over for him.
"Mia, I don't know if I can control this... this thing inside me." He shuddered. "That night in the cell was only the third time I've turned. All these years the medallion kept it at bay." Rubbing at his chest, he continued. "I feel it inside me now, all the time. The more I turn, the more it wants out."
"I don't think you'll lose control," she replied. "If it were going to happen it would have been the other night, with all of the blood and violence around you."
"I was distracted the other night."
"With what?"
His voice lowered. "Finding you. That's the one thing the warg and I tend to agree on." He rolled over, sliding his arm around her waist. "Mia.... You.... I—"
"Yeah?"
His heart skipped a beat. "You're everything I ever dreamed about," he blurted. "It scares the fuck out of me that I could lose you."
"You're not going to lose me." Her hand slid up his chest, and that determined look came into her eyes. "You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."
"Will you marry me?" The second he said it, he wished he could take it back. Not because he didn't mean it, but because her eyes nearly leapt out of her head. "I know it's sudden. I know I'm not...."
Not human.
Those fingers curled around his own. Mia shushed him with a kiss, her lips sweet and undemanding. A gentler kiss, one that spoke of something so much more. "Yes," she whispered, drawing back. "I think it's time I finally took something for myself, and I'm claiming you, Adam McClain. All for my own. I love you. I've said that twice now, and I mean it. But it also means that I want a future with you. No matter how bad things get, I know I can face them with you at my side."
He'd faced burning buildings, wargs, and an entire town full of reivers and barely batted an eyelid. Surely he could say this one thing. "You're what I've been looking for all these years, yet never dared hope I'd find." I love you. He'd never dared say that before to her. He'd never really understood the concept, for how could he ask for love when there was so much loathing inside him? But seeing himself through her eyes made it a little easier to accept it. A little easier to allow himself to feel it. "I want you at my side for the rest of my life, and I know I can fight this thing inside me if I have you."
They shared another long kiss before he drew back, content to simply hold her. Simply running his hands through her hair felt amazing. His cock stirred, but it was about more than sex in this moment. And they'd have to get moving soon.
Even if he wanted to stay right here in this moment all day.
"How did it happen?" Mia asked, resting her head on his chest. "Colton said a little bit in the cells, but I wanted to hear it from you."
This was the last thing he ever wanted to talk about, but after all of the secrets between them he didn't dare refuse her. Yet... strangely enough, this was also the first time he'd ever been able to be truly open about his curse. Eden never wanted to hear about it after her ordeal, and he'd always wanted to protect her from the harsh reality of his life.
Adam stroked a hand through Mia's black curls. They were softer than he'd imagined, and he couldn't resist the urge to twist one around his finger. "I was in my early twenties, working as a bounty hunter out on the Rim with a friend of mine, Luc Wade. He had a wife and daughter, with another little one on the way, and one time he stayed behind when I went out hunting.
"There'd been rumors of a warg haunting settlements out to the east, in the no-mans-land near the Great Divide. I met these two men out there who claimed they were looking for the same warg. The older man was Bartholomew Cane. The younger was Johnny Colton."
Mia looked up sharply.
"They wanted to join up with me, to track this warg down. In hindsight there were little signs, but then the moon and the night didn't seem to affect them, so I grew complacent." He tensed a little. "We found a warg—the one we thought was doing the killing—and we
put him down. That night we rode back toward my town to celebrate. We were nearly home when Cane pulled out a bottle of gin he'd been saving, for a 'special occasion' he said. I woke up screaming with claws buried in my gut. Cane near ripped me apart...." His voice softened to a whisper as he remembered it. That moment when he'd lost nearly everything in life, but most importantly, he'd lost a future.
Mia stroked his arm. "That bastard."
"He said I was his then. That I belonged to him, and that he'd sired me. Thought we made one hell of a team, and that he wanted one more to ride with us. All I remember is a full day sweating in the dirt, convinced I was going to die. Kind of determined to, actually. But then later in the day I realized that the claw marks were itching like crazy, and that every time I glanced at it, they looked like they were a little less red, a little less inflamed. Healing maybe. That was when I knew.
"Cane said he liked my kind and that he wanted another to ride with him. He offered me the medallion. Colton's grandfather made them or knew something about them, and Cane said that they controlled the beast. I could be a man forever with it, a man with special talents. That was how he described it. But if I accepted the medallion, then I had to get him another man to make into a warg. That was the deal—the price for having something so precious."
The words shriveled up inside him. This was the moment of his deepest shame.
"I'd been talking all trip about my friend, Luc, and Cane wanted him. I couldn't do it. Jesus. I thought about it though. I actually thought about it." He curled his arm around her, his heart beating faster. "In the end I refused. Luc had a wife, and soon-to-be two kids. What kind of monster would I have been if I did that to him?"
Soft fingertips stroked along his arm. "You've never been that kind of man."
"You don't understand how tempting it was," he admitted. "I knew I was doomed, but what if there was a chance to live as a man still...."
"Those of us from the Burned Lands have been trained to survive since birth," Mia pointed out. "If you didn't at least think about it, I'd have been worried you were a robot. You didn't do it though, did you?"