by C. J. Anaya
“I’ve never been one to back down from a fight.”
“And I’ve never been one to cower in defeat.”
Akane’s grim smile of approval showed me she understood. This fight for a noble cause with an important, life-altering outcome on the line bonded us together more thoroughly than anything ever would. It was the camaraderie of fellow soldiers intent on gaining freedom and justice no matter how unattainable the victory might be.
She put her arm around me. “Tell me, dear friend, what information have you discovered?”
I imparted all that I recently gathered concerning the arrival of the gold shipment, falling into silence afterward as thoughts and plans began forming in that brilliant mind of hers.
“This is perfect, Mikomi. I cannot thank you enough for acquiring this information when your ki has remained in such a weakened state.” She placed her hands on my shoulders. “Was it too much for you to bear? Did you suffer any pain?”
The smile I plastered across my face was bright and reassuring. I didn’t want her to know what I had sacrificed in order to retrieve that information. There was no way to go back and undo the past, but what this meant for the future would determine if Akane still wanted me to fight with her.
Her eyebrows narrowed. The flickering torchlight cast shadows across her worried face.
“Mikomi, what happened? What did you do?”
“I…” I had to swallow hard in order to gain my composure. “The only way to summon enough energy to connect with his ki was to prevent my own ki from trying to heal itself. In the process, I somehow managed to push my ki so far within myself, that I have absolutely no access to it.”
“You sense nothing?”
“Nothing. I don’t know that I can be of any further value to you. I can no longer heal your men, nor can I connect with my father’s soldiers in order to absorb their memories.” The realization that I had become nothing more than a useless girl in a war that required my own personal gifts and expertise in order to ensure victory horrified me.
“Katsu is still unable to heal you himself?” Her concerned expression became more pronounced as I shook my head. I decided to tell her the truth on that front.
“Kenji has told me that Katsu cannot heal me because his spirit doesn’t recognize mine.”
“I don’t understand. How could that possibly—”
“Katsu isn’t my soul mate.”
Akane looked shocked. “The warrior god foretold to join forces with The Healer isn’t, in reality, her soul mate?”
I shook my head.
“Then the prophecy is flawed, and merely proves what I have suspected all along.”
“And what is that?”
She turned her intense look on me and gave me a fierce smile.
“Our fate is in our own hands, there to be molded and shaped according to our own desires, hopes, and dreams. If Katsu is not your fate nor your future, then maybe you should decide what you want most in this life and fight for it.”
“I don’t know what I want—”
“Yes, you do.” She smiled. “You’ve known from the first moment you laid eyes upon Musubi.”
I stared in wonder at her keen insight and powerful words.
“You want to join the rebels, you want a cause worth fighting for, you want to protect your brother and Kenji, you want to save Kagami, but most of all, you want Musubi.”
“To love and be loved,” I whispered.
She nodded. “To love and be loved. Not because of your gifts or titles, but simply because you are Mikomi and he is Musubi.”
I felt tears filling my eyes. One lone tear made its way down the side of my cheek.
“Go home tonight and pack your things. When you are ready to join us, your guards can help you, Saigo, and Kenji escape the palace.”
“Tonight?”
“Are you interested in waiting for another meeting with your father?”
“What about the kami army he is planning on forming?”
“What of it? Without you and your gifts, his plans are simply that and nothing more. Have you not realized by now that you are the one with all of the power, Mikomi? You were never meant to play the pawn when you’ve always been the queen.”
I nodded, excitement swelling within my chest as I allowed the idea to take root and grow. I could do this. My father would have no power to threaten Katsu’s life, if I wasn’t present to hear it. I would leave tonight with the people I loved most, and do my best to actively fight against the emperor.
And I would be with Musubi.
Then my thoughts turned to another issue bent on plaguing my tired mind and spirit. “Akane, have you been able to discover where Aiko’s loyalties lie? Has she explained her reasons for conspiring with my father?”
Akane looked at the rubbled earth, taking an unnatural interest in the debris scattered before her.
“She vehemently denies her willingness to serve the emperor and refuses to expound upon her plea of innocence with anyone but you. I suppose I can understand her wish to plead her case to you, but her silence is more damning than any piece of evidence we might have discovered.”
“Have you...tortured her?”
“No. She isn’t violent, but she is being watched by two kami in a secluded area back at camp. The guards are ensuring that I am the only one she sees.”
I nodded, my heart torn between the love I felt for my dear maid and the likelihood of her betrayal. I’d lived my life willing to find the good in others. I had to believe there was a logical explanation for Aiko’s actions.
“When Saigo and I join you, I will have a long discussion with her, and hopefully we will be able to get to the bottom of this.”
Akane’s pained grimace mirrored her true sorrow at what she considered an eventual loss. Then an altogether different possibility occurred to me.
“Akane, my father recently blackmailed me with a threat against Katsu.”
She appeared sincerely puzzled by this.
“How could he threaten an immortal? He would have to possess…” Her eyes widened and her face paled. “Are you telling me he has in his possession……a weapon from the underworld?”
“He didn’t come outright and state it, but what else can he threaten Katsu’s life with? What if he used this very same threat against Aiko? It would make so much more sense for her to betray me under duress rather than willingly align herself with the emperor.”
“This definitely changes things, but we cannot be certain. I think it’s wise we continue to keep her isolated and watched until you can come discuss this new possibility with her. I wouldn’t recommend doing much talking, however. Give Aiko a chance to explain herself.” Akane rested a hand on my shoulder, a sudden desperation seizing her emotions. “We have to get that weapon away from him. He holds too many cards as it is. If you……Mikomi, do you have any idea where he might keep it hidden?”
“He has rooms I have absolutely no access to. The only place I can search is his study, but I guarantee you the weapon will not be there.”
“If that weapon were to fall into our hands we could end this conflict once and for all. We could kill the emperor.”
I wondered if there was something callous and unforgiving concerning my quick acceptance of the idea of murdering my father. In truth, the lives we saved would far outweigh the death of one destructive kami. I had to acknowledge to myself that if I uncovered the weapon’s location I would move heaven and earth to bring it to Akane.
Before I could delve into the matter further, I heard the thunderous gait of a horse in the distance, but couldn’t make out the rider due to the darkness of the evening.
Akane stood in front of me and drew her sword.
Musubi came into view in the faint torch light and rapidly dismounted. My disgruntled emotions settled upon his arrival, relieved that he was merely late rather than avoiding me. This first meeting might have been a bit stilted considering the way we left things the last time we were together, but with my emp
athic abilities I sensed severe agitation instead of any lingering awkwardness.
“Akane, we have to leave immediately.”
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“I ran into some trouble with an imperial patrol on my way here. There were more men than I could handle, and the ones I couldn’t dispatch have followed me. They’ll arrive any moment.”
I sucked in a terrified breath. My father’s men couldn’t discover me here. It would ruin all of our plans. No sooner did I finish that thought when the sound of galloping hooves and shouting could be heard in the distance.
Akane grabbed my arm and pulled me over to where Musubi stood. “Get her out of here.”
Without missing a beat he reached down for my arm and easily lifted me, placing me in front of him. I barely had a chance to regain my bearings before we were galloping out of the ruins and past a clearing, making our way into the forest. I heard heavy pounding behind us and feared we hadn’t gained much of a lead on my father’s soldiers.
The moon was just a sliver in the unforgiving darkness of night. Its luminescent glow stubbornly refused to give off more than a hint of light as if it were a spoiled child unwilling to share. I wasn’t sure how Musubi was able to guide his horse through the mottled roots, tree branches, and uneven terrain with so little light to guide him. All I saw were dark, monstrous shapes rising in the distance as spindly branches reached their fingers forward, eagerly pulling at our hair and clothing. A whirring noise whizzed past my ear and something planted itself in a tree ahead with a threatening thunk. Musubi shifted behind me and urged the horse forward.
The pounding behind us drew closer and more arrows teased their way around us, promising to strike and embed their sharpened heads within our flesh at any moment. That promise was soon realized when Musubi cried out in pain and slumped slightly forward, resting his weight atop my back. His hands slackened in front of me, forcing me to grab the reins and continue the horse forward despite my immediate instinct to stop this insane death chase and heal him on the spot.
“Musubi,” I screamed. “How badly are you injured?”
He mumbled a response and leaned a little heavier upon my person, grabbing the reins from my hands and urging the horse to go faster.
“We are going to have to do something different than planned I’m afraid,” he gasped. His agony from the embedded arrow within his flesh caused me to grind my teeth and squeeze my legs against his horse. I’d never once healed Musubi, yet I experienced his physical reaction to his injury. I didn’t understand why this connection had occurred—my ki was completely out of reach—but the harrowing situation we found ourselves in prevented me from analyzing it further.
Before I had a chance to question him, he sank his heels into the side of the horse and urged it forward and to the left. The soldiers seemed to fall back for a moment, but our sudden lead couldn’t last long. Our horse was tiring, and Musubi’s wound drained him of his focus and energy. We traveled at our suicidal pace for several more minutes. I wasn’t sure what his plan entailed, but I hoped he would enact it soon.
A rushing noise gradually grew in volume as we moved forward. It took me a moment to place the familiar sound. The falls lay straight ahead. I recognized the river as the same one I had nearly fallen into several months ago during my desperate attempt to warn the camp about my father’s planned ambush. I hoped Musubi’s plan didn’t involve a late night swim.
We swiftly traveled along the bank of the river, and then we arrived upon a rocky knoll just above the base of an extremely wide waterfall. There was no possible chance we would get across the base without being thrown into the river by the sheer force of the falls. I began to worry about his state of mind. Surely he wouldn’t consider this a viable escape route.
The horse struggled to maintain its balance under our weight, skidding and sliding down the rocky incline. When we reached the base of the waterfall I prepared myself for the worst, especially when he guided the horse directly into the falls. Had his wound caused him some sort of delirium?
“Musubi,” I cried out just as the cascading, icy wetness engulfed us. I fully expected to be swept away to the bottom of the falls and then down the river’s brutal rapids. Instead, the water’s freezing torrent fell behind us, and we rode into the mouth of a darkened cave. My surprise made way to worry and fear. I couldn’t make out the size or length of it after plunging into darkness once the falls’ liquid curtain closed behind us.
Musubi’s grip on my waist loosened as he slid off the horse. He let out a sharp cry of pain when his body made contact with the cave’s floor. I did my best to dismount, but my wet clothing hindered my movements, and I ended up landing about as gracefully as Musubi. I groped my way to him on hands and knees and found his body resting on its side. I moved my hands over his back, a weak substitution for my eyes in the dense darkness. The arrow protruded from the lower right side of his back.
The moment I touched him I felt an electrical current rush to the very center of my being, lighting a spark within me and reviving my ki in the process. I sensed energy and power, and then I was immediately bombarded with warm colors of gold and amber light.
I felt as if his ki had engulfed me in a happy embrace, waiting for me to arrive and return such affection. I couldn’t help but allow these warm, vibrant colors to wash through me.
I didn’t understand how this was possible, but I wasn’t going to wait while Musubi suffered in order to unravel the mystery. Instead, I felt grateful that my ki no longer remained hidden in the background of my subconscious.
It wasn’t at full strength. I could still sense the damaged part of it, but I hoped it might be strong enough to aid Musubi.
I directed my attention to his injuries and found his liver to have been punctured. His blood loss alarmed me, and there was an odd bit of darkness surrounding his heart. It was old and aching, just like the pain and anger of his emotions. The darkness surrounding his heart fairly pulsed with bitter resentment.
I moved my hand next to the arrow, preparing to give his ki instructions on removing it when the arrow began shifting without my guidance. His body began to expel the arrow from the liver, muscle, and tissue. My experience with arrow wounds was extensive, and not one single patient had ever been capable of removing the arrow with their own ki. I waited as the intelligences within the tissue and muscle slowly dislodged the foreign object. I prepared myself to give Musubi’s ki its healing instructions, but there seemed to be no need. The intelligences went about their business, mending tissue and muscle fibers, healing the liver, and replacing the blood loss.
Musubi was healing himself!
I’d never before met a human capable of anything like this. I suspected it was possible for a human to understand their ki and learn the process, but most didn’t possess such a heightened awareness of their mind, spirit, and body. It made me realize how very little I knew about this warrior. There wasn’t enough information at my disposal to allow me to connect the dots.
His body finished repairing itself, and I disconnected, feeling an awful sense of loss when that spark of energy and his welcoming ki were suddenly snuffed from my mind and body.
“Musubi,” I whispered, carefully shaking his shoulder.
He groaned slightly but didn’t regain consciousness. I decided it best to let him sleep. A healing was nothing to sniff at. I was accustomed to the kind of toll it took on my body, but I was only half mortal. For a human to accomplish what Musubi had would be far more debilitating. I suspected he would sleep through the rest of the night and most of the next day.
Truth be told, I was more than a little tired myself. I curled up in a ball next to Musubi and reveled in the warmth of his comforting presence.
* * *
I opened my eyelids slowly, allowing the filtered light sifting through the falling water to penetrate my aching eyelids. The cave was cool, but I felt warm and couldn’t account for the source of that warmth until I tried and failed to move my body. It w
as pinned down by a heavy arm, capturing me in a warm embrace. I moved my head to the right and bumped it against Musubi’s massive chest.
“Must you disturb my sleep?” he asked, tucking my head under his chin and snuggling me closer to his body.
Sleep? He couldn’t be serious. How on earth could he sleep with our bodies pressed against one another in such a familiar manner? Being held within his arms ensured that I would never feel the need to sleep again.
“Musubi,” I said. With a sharp tug I freed my left hand and placed it gently on his cheek as I let my thumb trace the outline of his high cheek bone.
His reaction to the contact took me completely by surprise. He swiftly grasped my chin and caught my lower lip with his mouth, teasing and tasting before kissing me fully on the lips. Our connection was instant and overwhelming. The warm colors bathed me in their light. I could hardly breathe for fear of losing this link to him. I happily returned his soft kisses with tender kisses of my own. He pulled away briefly, just long enough to say something...whisper something...that made my heart stutter, stop and then nearly break in two.
“Edana, please come back to me.”
My surprise was so complete that the link severed and I jolted back from the force of it. I quickly slid from Musubi’s arms, desperate to make sense of his cruel behavior. He reached out blindly, and for the first time I realized that his eyes were closed. He had been sleeping...dreaming...of someone other than myself. A woman named Edana.
Despite the pain I felt at being mistaken for a different woman, I knelt forward and grasped his outstretched hand. His frantic searching stopped and he relaxed again.