by C. J. Anaya
“He will be fine,” I said to my father, who eyed me angrily. His anger toward me was unjustified, but so many things my father felt for me or did to me fell within that category. I dismissed the guilt I felt at not healing my brother with the idea that I could easily sneak into Saigo’s rooms tonight and rectify that situation without Katsu being the wiser.
My father’s angry glare slid to Katsu. “You will pay for your interference in this instance. You have far more to lose than you realize, Katsu.”
Katsu’s eyes flashed as he grabbed my father by the throat. “I tire of your threats, Fukurokuju. You don’t seem to realize that the days of your power as emperor are fast coming to an end. Our First Parents will not allow the abuse of your position and power to continue much longer.”
My body stilled at the threat of violence hanging in the air. It was disconcerting to realize that Katsu had known my father for much longer than I had, and their shared history together conveyed the strength of their sincere hatred for one another.
“Fortunately for me,” my father wheezed, “not every kami in creation is concerned with what our First Parents will and will not allow. They are not quite as invincible as you think, warrior god.”
Once again my father had more tricks up his sleeve, some mysterious leverage he could use at a time when it suited him most. Ever the strategist, it seemed as if it would never be possible to get the best of him. Unless he supposed I hadn’t any tricks up my own sleeve. I took advantage of their distracted state and swiftly slid the dagger in my boot, grateful that the stockings I had borrowed from Saigo were so thick.
Katsu released the emperor with a growl and turned to me, pulling me to my feet.
“I must insist that we place you in your rooms and double the guards at the door until I make certain that there are no other threats to your safety,” Katsu said rather formally.
He reached his hand out to me, and I took it, feeling a sudden apprehension overwhelm me in regards to Saigo’s condition. It was difficult to walk away from him in his injured state.
As Katsu led me back to my rooms the guilt set in. I had used the opportunity to check on Saigo for a chance to grab the dagger. Instead of healing him and defying Katsu, I opted to grab the weapon. I had failed to protect my brother and then failed to heal his injuries. I was the worst sister in the world, but more terrible still came the knowledge that even with the training I had received I was still hopelessly short of the skill set necessary to fight like Akane and Musubi.
I was incapable of protecting the people I loved and swiftly running out of time to become a skilled fighter.
I had to learn how to effectively defend myself against the nekomata, and I had to do it now. As I pondered upon the hopelessness of my situation, an idea began forming. I needed to speak with Akane as soon as possible.
“I think it would be best if I take you away from here until it is time for your ascension,” Katsu said as we reached my quarters.
“What?”
I couldn’t possibly have heard him correctly.
“I am not only attempting to protect you from this war with the rebels, but I am now faced with a debilitating number of the demon god’s assassins and your own father willing to risk your health and quite possibly your life in order to accomplish his own selfish desires.” He pulled me in and held me, resting his chin on the top of my head. “I can’t leave you alone to strengthen the veil when I know that you are not safe here.”
“Then arrest him, place him in the dungeons. Surely he has endangered my life enough that you can do so without anyone challenging your authority.”
“That’s just it, Mikomi. No one can prove that your father forced you to break through the veil, and no one can prove the abuse you have suffered at his hand due to the fact that there are no witnesses and your body instantly heals, obscuring all of the evidence. He would have to do something absolutely despicable, and in front of more than one individual, for those charges to be levied against him. Even then, I’m uncertain as to how long I would be able to justify imprisoning the emperor when his own generals would most likely break him out within a day or two, and then we’re right back to where we started.”
“What about the next kami in line to take power once I ascend? Surely Hachiman will understand the situation and relieve my father of his duties.”
Katsu sighed and then pulled away. “He was the first kami I sought out when I discovered the abuse you had suffered, but I haven’t been able to locate him.”
“Can’t you use your connection to the veil to track him?”
Katsu shook his head in frustration. “That’s what makes this situation so frustrating. If a kami doesn’t want to be found they can mask their own ki or their ki can be masked through another kami’s power. The monks at the shrine told me he went on a pilgrimage several years ago and hadn’t planned on returning until your ascension.”
I felt panic overtake me. I couldn’t leave with Katsu. If that happened I would never be able to take Saigo and Kenji and escape with the rebels. I had to do something to ensure that I would have enough time to enact our escape, and I had to warn Katsu of the danger those restored kami presented to all of us.
“What if I had proof of a far more serious crime than abuse to my person?”
Katsu peered at me with apprehension and opened my door, pushing me through and closing it behind us.
“Mikomi, what are you talking about?”
“I believe my father is planning on declaring war on our First Parents. He has created a kami army under the guidance of Amatsu’s assassins.”
As I went into full detail about the blood Aiko stole from me and the bondings my father had subjected me to, Katsu’s pallor grew sickly, and he immediately sat down upon the nearest chair.
“Why didn’t you tell me this the moment you suspected what he was doing? Why wouldn’t you come to me for help?”
“My father threatened to kill you. His threats led me to believe that he possessed a weapon from the underworld and held no reservations in using it against you if I attempted to thwart his plans. And now there are reformed nekomata within the palace walls who follow Amatsu. There is no way to know who is an enemy or an ally. This nekomata attack was carefully planned and executed. Amatsu must believe that he has a strong enough foothold in this realm to come after me now.”
“Your blood is capable of restoring nekomata to their former glory and turning humans into kami.” His bewildered visage gave me pause. This news had shaken him to his very center. The magnitude of my father’s rebellious actions against the gods was overwhelming to be sure.
“Then it is enough for you to arrest him?”
Katsu remained silent for a moment, no doubt considering our options at this point. “If we had proof, then yes, but I will need more than the word of a young woman to present to the gods of fortune, many of whom seem to have disappeared, which is also troubling, and considering what you’ve just revealed to me, more than a little disturbing.”
My eyebrows drew together. “Do you think my father has something to do with Hachiman’s disappearance?”
“If not your father, then most likely the nekomata he unknowingly aligned himself with. Consider what your father wants more than anything in this world.”
“Power,” I immediately replied. “He wants to continue to remain in power.”
“And who could possibly stand in his way?”
“Hachiman and any other kami in line to rule Kagami.”
Katsu stood with a grim glint in his eye. “If he has sunk so low as to use his own daughter’s blood to create a kami army and incarcerate any god of fortune that threatens his position as emperor, then there is absolutely no way I am allowing you to stay here a moment longer. I must journey to visit the gods of fortune, however many may remain, and inform them of Fukurokuju’s actions. He has declared war against the gods and most of them are completely unaware of the threat he poses.” He took me by the shoulders, his eyes begging me for under
standing and acceptance. “I know you do not wish to be separated from your brother, but come tomorrow morning, you and I must leave Kagami.”
No! This was not the outcome I had in mind when presenting Katsu with all of the facts.
“Surely all the information I have imparted is enough grounds for an arrest.”
“By whom, Mikomi? Despite my own elevated standing amongst the gods, I have no power in this kingdom and no allies who will help incarcerate Fukurokuju long enough for a divine tribunal to be established amongst the gods of fortune. We need more than a few sympathetic guards willing to throw the emperor in prison, especially with reformed nekomata roaming the palace grounds. We’’re fighting against two separate enemies at the moment, and we literally have no idea whom to trust and who might wish us harm. Do you really think I’ll leave you alone to deal with these invisible threats to your safety while I head off to plead my case to a higher authority? You’re coming with me. End of discussion.”
“No! That is not the end of this discussion. I am not leaving my brother or Kenji behind.”
Katsu peered at me in astonishment, but I no longer cared what he thought of my outrageous behavior. “If we are leaving, then they are coming with me.”
“There is no reason to believe that they will be in any danger—”
“Yet danger exists within the palace walls, and I won’t risk their lives simply because you deem it unnecessary to bring them with us. I won’t leave this palace without them.”
Katsu inched forward, trying to intimidate me with his foreboding expression.
“I can understand that the stress of our current predicament might cause you to behave in ways you normally wouldn’t consider. I can forgive you this outburst, but I will not be moved from my current position. We must travel as quickly as we can to reach the gods of fortune, and I can only travel at inhuman speeds with one person at my side, not two, and certainly not three. I’ll agree to take Kenji and your brother as far as the gates of the temple, but that will be the extent of their journey with us. They will be on their own from there.”
“Not good enough,” I hissed.
Katsu glowered at me in outrage and shook me roughly by the shoulders. “You seem to be forgetting that the only individual who truly matters in all of this is The Healer. Amatsu’s minions won’t look twice at your brother or Kenji, but everyone desires to have you in their possession.”
Is that what I was to everyone involved? A possession or perhaps a pawn in this power struggle between him and every other kami in existence? I understood the responsibilities tied to my identity yet I was constantly being reminded of it. I wanted to rail against these stipulations he handed down, but I knew a more submissive approach was the answer. I chafed at the restrictions after experiencing so much freedom, but I was merely a woman with very little power, standing before a kami who had everything to lose if I didn’t smile and nod like an obedient wife. I couldn’t alienate him, and I didn’t want to, but I also couldn’’t behave like Mikomi in his presence. Only The Healer would do. Always The Healer.
I meekly bowed my head. “Forgive me, Katsu. I simply cannot bear the thought of leaving behind the only people in this palace who so unconditionally loved me. I will worry for their safety. I don’t know that I can endure their loss. Please, Katsu. Please allow them both to come. Please.” I peered up at him, praying for a softening in his demeanor.
A haunted look crossed his features, his fixed expression slowly moving out of focus like he remembered some event of significance from long ago. The agonizing pain that seared through his being once he focused on a specific thought or memory nearly dropped me. My legs shook with its intensity. After a moment he schooled his features and solidified the structures surrounding his emotions. I was now looking at the blank mask of an unrecognizable Katsu. His clipped tones once he spoke next came out forced and rigid.
“Your duty is to the world. This idea that your loved ones can take precedence over humanity as a whole is going to get you killed.”
With that, the warrior god turned on his heels and sped out of my room. I relaxed my stiff stance and found that my whole body shook in the aftermath of our confrontation. I collapsed into a sitting position upon my bed and alternated between fear and anger. I calmed a bit after a few minutes and took stalk of the situation.
My plan had backfired. Instead of handing over the evidence needed to imprison my father, I had simply made my situation appear more desperate to Katsu. How would I ever join the rebels now?
I hurried to change out of Saigo’s clothing, carefully withdrawing the dagger from my boot and wrapping it in a linen cloth, stowing it within the large pockets on the inside of my kimono, which I dressed myself in as quickly as possible. That dagger would not leave my person until I could deliver it to Akane.
That’s when my pacing began. Back and forth, back and forth. I couldn’t stop my worried thoughts from wandering to this new predicament, and how on earth I was going to get myself out of it.
A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts, and I rushed to answer. When I flung it open, Yao and Chan stood before me, barely capable of making eye contact. Their concern for me let me know with certainty that something was seriously amiss.
“It’s Saigo,” Yao said. “There is something wrong with him. Kenji thinks it wise that you come back and assess his condition.”
I think most of us balk at the idea that we have limitations whether they are physical in nature or simply an emotional crutch that our own insecurities prevent us from overcoming. In the end, all we want is a choice, an opportunity to mend those things that are broken, change those circumstances that have gone terribly awry, and gain some control over the most basic and fundamental aspects of our lives.
My own weaknesses too often became a huge hindrance, especially when it came to my ability to heal. The laws of nature allowed me only so much control, and I’d never chafed at that particular limitation more so than now. Now that Saigo’s situation had gone from stable to critical, and the laws of nature had decided that this particular circumstance was no longer within my power to manipulate.
My guards informed me of the change in Saigo, allowing me to visit him, though Katsu had expressly forbidden this. I was grateful for their loyalty and friendship. They were bound to be in a great deal of trouble for taking me to see my brother. Upon entering his quarters, I spotted Kenji in one corner of the room—no surprise there—and my father sitting next to Saigo, holding him close to his chest.
He didn’t note my arrival, and for one brief moment I saw the visage of a man who was wholly foreign to me. He gazed upon my brother with tears in his eyes and grief etched upon his features. The idea that he could care, even a little, changed the way I had always felt about my father. On some level he possessed human tendencies—though his humanity had never manifested itself before today—and as much as I had always hated him, in that moment, I loved him because he loved Saigo.
I stepped forward, and my father’s anguished look hardened as he acknowledged my presence.
“What are you doing here? Hasn’t your betrothed forbidden you from entering?”
I brushed away the anger and resentment he felt for me, choosing to focus on the grief that consumed him. I could better handle his angry words when they came from a place of sorrow and despair rather than hatred for me.
“Katsu is not aware that I am here, but I am sure he will find out soon enough. I came because my guards informed me that Saigo has taken a turn for the worse. I came to heal him.”
My father glared at me for a moment, but nodded his head in agreement and released his son into my care, removing himself a few steps away.
“It’s about time you came to your senses, Mikomi.”
I glanced at Kenji, who had taken a few steps forward. He studied my eyes, no doubt noticing their change in color and confirming what Katsu had already discovered at the temple. I knew I had quite a bit of explaining to do, but now was not the time.
&nbs
p; I sat upon my brother’s bed, scooted forward, and placed both of my hands on either side of his face. His ki was in a state of turmoil. He was half mortal just as I was, but Saigo’s ki did not operate as mine did simply because he was not blessed with the added gift for healing. Though one day he would be able to ascend as a full kami if he wished to, until then, he was essentially as mortal as the next human when it came to life threatening injuries.
The force of the blow to Saigo’s nose had pushed the cartilage back, and a small sliver of cartilage had inched its way into his frontal lobe. It hadn’t been there when I had checked him last. I wondered if transferring him to his rooms had somehow exacerbated his condition. A sinking feeling pooled in the pit of my stomach as I realized that his brain had been damaged. I wasn’t sure if his ki would be able to relay my instructions to his brain.
I sent mental images, instructing his ki to reconstruct the break in his nose and remove the piece of cartilage from his brain, but his ki was unresponsive. I ignored my panic and once again demonstrated how the front part of his brain must be repaired.
I waited, feeling nauseated that his ki continued to remain unresponsive. Then I decided to try one more thing, hoping I was wrong, but dreading that my assumptions were correct. I pushed Saigo’s ki to the foreground, subdued his will and took control of the healing process myself. I gathered the intelligences in Saigo’s body and instructed them to carefully remove the cartilage from the frontal lobe of his brain. My mind hit the veil with such force I felt it reverberate throughout my entire body.
Letting go of Saigo with a start, I sat back, clutching my shaking hands to my chest. I shook my head, unwilling to accept this outcome.