by C. J. Anaya
Her limitations were due entirely to what she was allowed to see whenever those visions hit, and if she couldn’t get a read on where the death occurred she had no way of saving that person. She’d lost people before. People she could have saved. People that were most likely meant to live simply because she couldn’t find them or get to them in time. The guilt of all of those needless deaths weighed heavily upon her, and I’d thrown it all in her face in a lame attempt to justify my own actions.
If I’d had a hole to crawl into I’d have done it in a heartbeat.
Angie stared straight ahead, focusing on something to keep herself from bursting into tears. The wash of immense pain, that awful sense of hurt and betrayal I caused barreled into me with unmerciful force, and I freely accepted it because I knew without a doubt I deserved to feel it.
The silence in the cabin was about as stilted and uncomfortable as an endless blind date. Before anyone decided to barrage Angie with a thousand questions about the can of worms I’d just ripped open, I had to fix this awful rift between us. I reached a hand out to her and placed it on her shoulder, scared to death she might shrug me off or worse, get up and walk away. She sat eerily silent and immobile with her eyes focused on the space in front of her.
“Angie…I…that was awful of me. It’s the crappiest thing I’ve ever said to you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it.”
I waited a beat and then another. I had no idea how much groveling it was going to take to get her to forgive me, but I was prepared to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness just to get her to look at me again. Finally, she turned and looked at me, but there was no anger or judgment in her eyes. The pain was still there, but she looked more tired than anything else.
“Everyone probably needed to find out what I could do at some point,” she shrugged. “Still, you could have given me some warning. You are so dead to me right now.” She rested her hand over mine and squeezed it. I let out a relieved breath.
“You forgive me?”
“Yes, but you get to explain to everyone what it is I can do. I’m not up for it right now. I think I’ll go lie down with Kirby and rest for a while.”
I understood. She still loved me, but she needed some space. She felt like the cabin walls were closing in on her and that everyone was looking and judging her. I sensed her level of unease and embarrassment as she furtively glanced at Bishu and then quickly looked away. I cursed myself again for my thoughtless, hurtful comments. If she felt any kind of affection where Bishu was concerned than she was probably worried about his perception of her now. I thought it was ridiculous for her to worry about perception since Bishu was a creature from the Underworld, but for whatever reason, these two had developed a quick friendship and even though I didn’t understand it, I recognized that I had revealed aspects of her personal life that she hadn’t intended to share with him for a very long time.
I nearly killed myself and rent the veil in two by forcing Kirby’s healing and now I’d blown the lid on my best friend’s biggest secret ever.
I so sucked right now.
Bishu’s eyes followed her as she made her way to the back and entered the small room, closing the door behind her.
“So Angie is a psychic,” he said. “That’s a surprising twist to all of this.”
“Have you known many psychics in your day? Do you know why Angie is one?” I asked.
Bishu shook his head. “Psychics are all different in their level of power and what it is they are capable of seeing. Some are seers who see the future and work to turn the tide of terrible events. Others commune with spirits from the veil to receive insight into crimes committed against them or to bring peace to loved ones. I can only assume that whatever gifts Angie has been given, they are for the benefit of all mankind because she has been brought back to aid you in your quest.”
“I guess you would label Angie a seer then,” Tie said. “When she makes contact with an individual’s skin, she gets flashes or visions of how they will die. If the death is a natural one, she doesn’t feel compelled to intervene, but if it is accidental, she does what she can to prevent it from happening.”
“I take it there are times when she can’t,” Bishu said.
I nodded. “Sometimes her visions aren’t clear when it comes to location. She’s lost people because of it.”
Bishu’s eyes turned to the door at the end of the plane. There was compassion in his eyes and a protective urge building within him to go to Angie and make sure she was okay.
I blinked, trying to separate his emotions from my own.
“Look, I know you’re all upset with me, and I can’t blame you, but I also can’t stop myself. If it had been any of you in Kirby’s position, I would have saved you. Over and over again I will always save the people I love.”
“But you jeopardize all of the people you love by saving one soul meant to pass on,” my dad said.
I opened and closed my mouth, trying to form one response that might justify my decision.
“I just…I can’t pretend to feel ashamed. I need all of you. I don’t want to suffer anymore loss.”
“But can it really be considered a loss when someone passes through the veil, Healer? They are simply on the other side of things, never forgotten by us just as we are never forgotten by them.” Bishu’s eyes weren’t full of condemnation or censure when I looked at him. Instead, they were filled with a profound sense of love and understanding. A patient kind of forbearance most parents demonstrate when teaching their children the difference between right and wrong. “Choices, Healer,” he said in a soft voice. “We are responsible for the consequences of every single one of them. Please make certain that your choices throughout the rest of our journey result in consequences we can all live with.”
I swallowed hard, grateful for the lesson he patiently impressed upon me. I hadn’t screwed up so badly that I couldn’t fix this. I may have weakened the veil further, but I also had the power to heal it completely. I just needed to learn how.
But first, I had to figure out how to sense it.
We arrived at the Haneda airport in Tokyo several hours later. I had no idea how much it cost our kami friends to purchase the jet or what the landing fees were like, but I could only imagine. When I voiced my concerns to Tie about the cost, he laughed out loud and told me money was the least of our worries. Then he went back to avoiding me as he had done for the last few hours.
I couldn’t tell if this had to do with his anger about Kirby’s healing or if this was about the near takeover of my bond with Amatsu. Either way, he continued to remain remote and distant with me and flat out refused to sit next to me on the plane. I didn’t understand his reasoning. His nearness and his love for me were what kept our bond from being overshadowed by the demon god’s. I didn’t know if he doubted my love for him, if he was angry that I had so easily succumbed to Amatsu’s bond, or if he was simply punishing himself for his mistake by denying me entirely.
Had he given up on me? I couldn’t imagine that after everything we had overcome together, he might actually believe there was no possible way to win in the long run.
My thoughts remained distracted while Bishu watched Tie’s behavior toward me with obvious disapproval.
“Give him a little time, Healer,” he said as we landed. “He is struggling with some long-held demons he’s never quite overcome.”
I nodded, but the hurt and bitterness his actions caused were starting to work against me. I sensed the darkness within my heart radiate out ever so slightly. I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to fight it on my own.
Bishu transformed himself into the same human form he took on in Alaska, and Angie eyed him warily, clearly not happy about his appearance, but showing remarkable restraint by remaining silent. In my shallow opinion, the handsome blond he transformed into was far preferable to the menacing features of an oversized predator, but since I had no idea what Angie really thought of Bishu, I couldn’t begin to compre
hend her bizarre emotions.
I’m not sure what would have made her happy, but I figured we’d have plenty of time to talk about it once we found a place to crash for the night.
From there, we caught a commercial flight to Okinawa and landed at the Naha airport where Victor grabbed us two rental cars and told us we had rooms booked at the Ritz-Carlton an hour away. A huge surprise, considering how frugal he tended to be, minus the private jet of course. I just didn’t picture Victor lounging around on a king-size bed, draped in Egyptian cotton sheets and surrounded by elaborate room service entrées.
I had no idea what the plan was once we arrived at our fancy lodgings, but I hardly thought about it as I took in our lavish surroundings. Geez. The ritziest place I’d ever slept in was a Day’s Inn during various road trips with my dad. In this life, anyway.
It wouldn’t have surprised me if I found a picture of the Ritz-Carlton next to the word, luxury, in the dictionary. The design of the resort sported the traditional, distinctive, red tile clay roofs of Okinawa with white walls and a holy water pond that was simply stunning. The lounge looked like an elegant modern palace with Asian accents on vases, lamps, and wooden trim. The floor resembled an immaculate, marbled checkerboard of light and dark greys.
I felt distinctly grimy as our group advanced further into the lounge while Victor checked us in. He hadn’t said much to me since I woke up from healing Kirby, but he didn’t have to. Thanks to my handy empathic abilities, I knew exactly how furious he was with me. I also sensed a weakening in his ki that matched Tie’s, Bishu’s, and Ms. Mori’s.
Guilt definitely crept its way in and planted itself square in my stomach this time. It was almost a welcome relief to feel remorse at all for what they sacrificed to save me. Hopefully, it meant my bond with Amatsu hadn’t completely overridden my humanity, ushering in a little more of the person I used to be. Then I looked at Kirby’s sweet face and realized I’d save him again in a heartbeat. In reality, I had always felt this way. Yes, I knew what the consequences were now, but I couldn’t fathom sitting back and allowing anyone I loved to die.
Not when I knew how to save them.
Saving anyone marked for death was a bad decision for all of the right reasons, and good intentions didn’t justify my actions. Somehow, I had to let that differing opinion sink in, allow it to become rooted deep within me.
But how?
Victor exchanged a few pleasantries with the clerk in Japanese, laughed at something she said, and began handing out our room keys.
“What did the pretty little clerk say to you?” Angie asked, showing a hint of irritation.
I caught a surge of gratification from Victor and tamped down my amusement. Victor had done very little to outwardly show his interest in my best friend, but that didn’t mean he was impervious to Angie’s charms. He knew she used to be Edana, the woman he once fell in love with, and he also knew that I wasn’t meant for him, which freed him up to pursue something with her.
I wondered if Victor was simply trying to get his bearings right now. After all, this version of Edana was different than the woman he had fallen in love with. Her empowered, blunt personality tended to rub him the wrong way. He seemed to like his women a bit more docile, and a pairing between these two, in my humble opinion, felt about as combustible as a pairing between gasoline and fire.
“She wished us a peaceful, caring, friendly experience. A Keion experience as they say in Okinawa,” he said.
She narrowed her eyes, testily folded her arms, and glanced at the clerk. “And just how friendly was she planning to get?”
Bishu’s eyes bounced between Angie and Victor with growing dismay. He finally saw the bigger picture, and I was grateful. I hoped it meant he wouldn’t try to complicate Angie’s life further by pressing for anything other than friendship, but my heart ached for him a little as a hint of sadness shadowed his aura.
He was a hell cat, for heaven’s sake. He didn’t necessarily have to be handsome in order to pique Angie’s interest, but being the same species was an absolute must, and even if I could bring him back to his godly state, what then? He wasn’t just any kami. He was one of the seven gods of fortune. The top war god. Sounded heavy to me. I didn’t think gods of fortune had much time for developing relationships with seventeen-year-old girls.
But that wasn’t really up to me. The ball appeared to be solely in Angie’s court since both of these war gods were extremely interested in her.
So who will it be, Angie? An overly strict, uptight, lesser kami, or a god of fortune who happens to be a demon?
Maybe neither choice was the better choice. I foresaw all sorts of unwanted complications by developing a relationship with either one of the war gods.
I was totally future tripping here, and it wasn’t even my future I was worried about.
“Hey Angie, I think you and I have our own room,” I said, nodding toward the elevators.
“I’m sharing the room with you as well,” Tie said. “I’ll just grab a roll-away bed and bunk with you two.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise and tried to catch his gaze, which he avoided…of course. Well, at least he was willing to stay in the same room with me.
Progress.
“I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about that,” my dad said.
“Dr. Fairmont,” Ms. Mori cut in, “We have all agreed that each room needs to have one kami for protection. I will share a room with you and Kirby.”
My father and I both gave each other a bemused look. Ms. Mori was bunking with dear old dad? I sincerely hoped this had more to do with being close to Kirby now that she knew he was once her son.
Ms. Mori continued, not seeming to notice our reaction.
“Tie must be with Hope in case something should go wrong and she needs to connect with his ki. Victor and Bishu will be in another room close to all of us should we need more reinforcements.”
“Reinforcements from what?” Kirby asked.
“We are still being hunted, little warrior,” Bishu said. “Though we have bought ourselves some time, we must take every precaution to ensure The Healer is not abducted again.”
My father nodded and looked at Tie. “She may be your fiancée, but no funny business. I’ve had too many surprises hit me in the last month, and I’m not prepared to deliver my own grandchild anytime soon.”
I reddened in embarrassment as Tie, Victor, and Bishu howled with laughter.
“Why is my non-existent sex life constantly up for public discussion?” I asked.
“Glad to hear it’s non-existent, Hope. As a father, those words are music to my ears.”
I gave the amused kami a dirty glare, and my bestie jumped in with the assist.
“Grow up, pigs.” Angie placed her hands on her hips, signifying she meant business. “You guys are like thousands of years old. You’d think a little maturity might come into play here.”
Victor shrugged his shoulders and said, “We’re still dudes.”
Angie studied him for a moment. “That is by far the most uncharacteristic thing I’ve ever heard pop out of your mouth.”
He stepped forward with a playful grin that nearly rivaled one of Tie’s. It appeared decidedly foreign on his face.
“Have you been paying attention to my mouth lately?”
Angie’s eyes widened in surprise, but she quickly shot back a retort.
“Only to make sure the muzzle I had custom designed for you actually fits.”
Tie, Kirby, and my father snickered liked a bunch of frat boys while Ms. Mori rolled her eyes in utter annoyance.
“Idiotic cavemen,” she said under her breath.
Angie gave Victor a saucy smile and swung her bag over her shoulder. Then she saluted him and walked toward the elevator. Victor’s eyes followed the sway of Angie’s hips.
I found this version of Victor a little disconcerting.
“Oh, snap,” Kirby said. “You never go toe-to-toe with Angie, Victor. You’ll always get schooled for it.
”
“Who knew getting schooled could be so enjoyable,” he mumbled.
A pang of jealousy hit me in the stomach, but I refrained from sweeping my gaze toward Bishu. I didn’t want him to know how transparent his emotions had become.
Geez. How could he feel so much for her already? This was just brutal.
We grabbed our few belongings and made our way to the elevators and up to the third floor. The first thing I planned to do once we got in our room involved a graceless swan-dive onto my twin bed, but upon actual arrival, the beautiful decor and extravagance of it all distracted me. I just kept wanting to look and look even though my body ached for a few hours of blissful sleep.
“Oh, my word. Look at this view!” Angie said as she crossed to one of the windows. Rolling lawns of green spread out before us, and beyond that was a gorgeous beach and the sparkling blue of the ocean. “That golf course is humongous. Such a shame neither one of us golf.”
“Something tells me we won’t have much time for that,” I said. I stood next to her staring out at the beach in the distance and wishing for a moment that we were there for completely different reasons.
“We will have time for the beach,” Tie said, startling both of us.
Angie gave him a hopeful look. “Body surfing?”
“Nope. Strength training. You, Hope, and Kirby are so out of shape it’s embarrassing.” I took a swing at him that he easily dodged, which pretty much proved his point. It was gratifying to see a small smile peek its way from under his stoic façade. “We need to get your bodies conditioned for all of the martial arts your brains have downloaded.”
“I don’t have martial arts downloaded in my brain yet,” Kirby shouted as he sailed into the room and dove for one of the twin beds, landing with a satisfied smile on his face. He leaned on his elbow and crossed his legs. “So, I hear that someone found out we really are related, Hope.”