by C. J. Anaya
“I know that. I can feel my connection with The Healer even stronger than before. The question is, where? Are they near the palace, the forest, or are they closer to the shrine?” he barked.
“The shrine. They would not be so foolish as to enter Kagami so far from their stronghold,” replied the nekomata.
“Yes, but they are desperate for the prophecy. It is only a matter of time.”
“Fukurokuju can be relied upon to do his duty.”
“Fukurokuju is an opportunistic imbecile, and a prisoner,” Amatsu raged. “If he is given an out, he will most certainly take it, no matter where it is coming from.”
I drank in their words, though I hardly understood what exactly was meant by it. The mention of my previous father made me break out into a cold sweat, while any new information concerning the whereabouts of the original prophecy definitely piqued my interest. I remained still and quiet, hoping they would not only know its location, but openly discuss it.
“I will contact the patrol closest to the shrine to take care of this, though they may already have felt the breaching of the ley lines and attacked. With any luck, we’ll have your future bride within our possession before the sun rises.”
Future bride? Don’t count on it.
But my very physical reaction to the demon god’s presence had me worried.
The nekomata left in a hurry. I silently cursed him for it. I wanted more information, and even though I wasn’t thrilled about this awful connection I shared with Amatsu, if it enabled me to spy on him undetected then perhaps it was the best, unintended disaster to have happened to me in a while. No sooner had I thought this then my hand slipped on the floor and a pebble skidded across the ground. I looked down at my hand in shock, realizing that I had made a physical connection within the Underworld while awake. My eyes snapped forward to see Amatsu staring at me in disbelief.
“You’re here,” he whispered. “I should have realized it, but I just assumed I felt closer to you because you crossed the ley lines into Kagami.” He took two steps forward, but froze when I put my hand up. Why he actually responded to my non-verbal cue was beyond me. He was the ruler of the Underworld for heaven’s sake, but I was grateful that he maintained his distance as I stood from my crouched position. The closer he came, the harder it was to resist that awful, uncontrollable urge to fling myself into his arms.
At my full height I tried to stare him down, but it was difficult to do since he was much taller than me and my eyes insisted on drinking him in rather than glaring at him in disgust. I hated this. Hated to feel as if my body and my emotions were no longer under my control.
“Where is the prophecy?” I asked. I’m not sure why I decided to go for such a blunt question. I guess tricking the prince of lies and manipulation wasn’t something I felt equal to. Maybe total transparency might be enough to blindside someone who reveled in mystery and half-truths into revealing the information.
His eyes certainly widened in surprise at my direct approach, but then they softened as they took the whole of me in.
“Is that really what you came here to ask me?” His sweet voice nearly begged me to assure him of something more.
“I didn’t choose to come here. I was brought against my will by that bond you created,” I argued.
He slithered forward, his eyes capturing me and freezing me to their spot. I knew it was wrong to want him, to feel compelled to fall into his arms, but my heart and my head were in constant battle with one another whenever I was in his presence. I swayed forward and then clicked my spine into a straight line, imagining my backbone as a steel rod incapable of movement. It would be funny if at the end of all this, the only thing that saved me was my stubbornness.
He stopped just in front of me and said, “I may not have been your first desire, but I guarantee you, Hope, I will be your last. You can’t run away from this. You can’t run away from me. You have no choice in the matter.”
It was the wrong thing to say. He could have spoken a thousand words of love and longing that may have had me fighting to keep my feet firmly locked in place, but the idea that my choices were no longer my own served to ignite a fury inside me that had been smoldering for over a thousand years. Without considering my actions, I pulled my fist back, and with all the force I could muster I swung it forward and clocked the demon god of the Underworld right in the face.
He staggered back in surprise, rubbing his jaw and staring at me as if I had completely lost my mind.
His smile grew wide and he straightened, throwing back his head in delighted laughter. It wasn’t even evil or maniacal laughter, but mirth that was so normal and natural it actually gave him the appearance of possessing a hint of humanity. I could almost picture this deity as a common man, happy and carefree instead of the most evil being I’d ever encountered. It was a dangerous illusion that I quickly dismissed, but the fluid tones of his laugh caressed my senses and nearly pulled me in.
“I can’t believe you just did that.” He chuckled again and rubbed at his tender jaw-line, giving me an appreciative look. “You know, I don’t believe anyone has ever stood up to me like that before? How refreshing. I didn’t even bother to defend myself because I thought you’d be incapable of actually making contact—”
He broke off abruptly as his eyes widened in shock. “You made physical contact with me,” he whispered.
I stepped back in horror as I realized the enormity of my mistake. He hadn’t known I was actually here in physical form until my genius move. Perhaps being in Kagami had something to do with it because I hadn’t felt the bond grow any stronger until crossing those lines.
“I…I…don’t know how…” I took another step backward, but Amatsu’s eyes narrowed in on my movements and within seconds he’d bridged the gap between us and pulled me into his arms. My body sang in relief, but my mind cursed his hold over me, fighting the pull, the rightness of the moment, knowing it was all artificial and wrong to give in for even a millisecond. I pushed at his chest and dug my heels into the stone floor, but my mind and body were hard at work, fighting against one another, and Amatsu’s hold on me was like steel.
His eyes drank in every facet of my face before resting exclusively on my lips. A shiver skipped along the length of my spine as he pressed me closer to him.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to do this?” he asked.
His lips came down quick and voracious as they wrapped themselves around mine, drinking me in as if he might never get the chance again. I kept my hands pressed against his chest, refusing to throw them around him and embrace him fully as my body demanded. One small part of my brain remembered the feel of Tie’s lips on mine, and I had to hold on to that wonderful memory if I wanted to survive the passionate burn of this new threat to my morality and my own sanity.
I couldn’t help but participate in some way as he deepened the kiss. No matter what my mind screamed, I couldn’t prevent myself from kissing him back and reveling in the touch of his hands along my waist or the way my stomach fluttered as his kisses grew more impassioned with every moment that passed.
I felt him connect to my ki, heading straight to the dark spot within my heart and combining the greens and blacks of his soul to enlarge and enhance the one smudged spot in mine. I let out a soft moan as the darkness spread in a slow circumference, blossoming out and smoothing over the entirety of my heart until the whole thing became black. This level of connection allowed me to see a side of him I didn’t believe existed.
His desire for me not only sprang from his plans to break free of the Underworld, but also of his desperate need for me on a personal and emotional level. For a brief moment I saw who he had been before he fell. His aura bright, his eyes light and exceptionally clear, his countenance that of one of the most favored of our First Parents. I saw all that he used to be, all of the potential he once had for good, and it completely broke my heart. As the darkness continued to creep in, the last vestiges of light I had within me sent out a call for
help and I pulled out of Amatsu’s kiss, yet still remained firmly within his grasp.
My eyes watered and tears slid down my face as I took him in. His own eyes were filled with a deep sorrow I could barely fathom.
“I did not think love could produce this much…torment,” he said under his breath.
I lifted my finger to wipe away the tears that slid freely over his cheeks.
“You have no idea what real love is. What you feel is a product of what you forced,” I said in a sad voice.
He shook his head. His eyes fierce and unyielding. “Then why does the thought of causing you pain also cause me pain? Why can’t I stop thinking about the death of your mother and the part I played in it?”
I stared at him in amazement but refused to believe his words. I only knew he was a master manipulator and had the advantage because he quite literally had my heart.
“You are so much more than what you’ve become, Amatsu. I feel truly sorry for you.”
His gaze hardened at my words, but the tears remained.
“There is no fixing what has already been done. No turning back now.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He shook his head having an internal argument with himself.
“I can’t remain trapped here for the rest of eternity.” He swallowed hard. “And I can’t lose you now,” he stated.
“I’m not yours to keep.”
That brief, vulnerable moment where I thought I might have gotten through to him wavered as his look turned to granite and he pulled me in even closer.
“Oh, yes, Hope, I believe you are.”
He kissed me yet again and connected to my ki with more urgency this time. I knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to complete the bond and force my ascension, something he was perfectly capable of doing as a greater kami, the demon of the Underworld. Hachiman wasn’t a necessary part of this equation. I pulled into myself, despite my ki’s desperate urgency to bond with him fully, and did my best to fight the spread of the inky darkness within my soul. Just when I thought Amatsu would succeed, his hold on me lessened, his body became less substantial and soon I moved right through him, turning around to see that I was no longer there in physical form.
“What is happening?” he shouted, spinning around to face me.
Something pure and right took hold of me. A warm connection overrode the darkness within and I felt myself diving toward the gold and amber hues of Tie’s ki as he beckoned me back to him. I rushed headlong into that familiar light and fully emerged myself in the vibrant colors produced by a soul I knew and loved so well. The arms that enfolded me now were Tie’s and the lips pressing sweetly against mine belonged to my true soul mate.
He pulled away slowly, his look almost unfathomable, the pain of our brief separation evident in his stricken face.
“I almost lost you,” he said. “I almost lost your light.”
“I…” I didn’t know what to say. Guilt at my actions and the kiss I shared with Amatsu tore through me. How was I going to explain to him what had happened? How was I going to fight it if it ever happened again?
“How do we make it stop, Tie?” I finally said and began to sob.
He blinked away his own tears and cradled me closer to him.
He said nothing. No words of encouragement or reassurance. His silence, his air of hopelessness left me feeling nothing but dread.
I didn’t know if he had it in him anymore to hope for a future with me in it. Which meant I would have to be strong and hope for both of us—hope that our love would be enough to bring me back to him again and again.
Yet a small part of me, a part that hadn’t existed before, ached for a different set of arms wrapped around me and a different pair of light blue eyes staring into mine, eyes that held all of the pain and sorrow this world had ever known.
And it scared the hell out of me.
I didn’t get to stay locked in Tie’s embrace even though that’s exactly where I wanted to remain for the rest of the day. No sooner did he bring me back then the group demanded an explanation. I didn’t think I was ready to have that conversation, so I deflected.
A coward’s move.
“What happened while I was…gone?” Tie’s hold on me tightened as he brought me to my feet. “I thought I heard Kirby say we were hit with more nekomata.”
Ms. Mori shook her head. “They weren’t nekomata.” She gestured an arm behind her and stepped back. My eyebrows rose at the sight of what had to have been nearly thirty men, garbed in strange gray robes, with wicked looking katanas bearing black blades strapped to their hips. “Hope, these are some of the monks from the temple. They came to assist us when they sensed our arrival.”
“These are monks? They look like warriors.”
“They are that as well. All of them have dedicated their lives and sworn an oath to protect The Healer,” said a wizened man near the front of the group. I recognized this particular individual. I remembered him from my first life during that final battle when he assisted Victor in banishing my soul into that statue. The scar on his face was also unforgettable. You didn’t see many unhealed injuries on a deity.
He also looked exactly like the man who shot my mother. I shook my head, reminding myself that he hadn’t even been there.
“Hachiman,” I said.
He nodded his head and bent forward in a respectful bow. The rest of the monks behind him followed suit. I was overwhelmed at the show of support and felt wholly undeserving of it. I couldn’t believe they had all pledged an oath to give their lives for me. I hated the responsibility it added to my already burdened shoulders.
I hadn’t had much practice recently in Japanese customs and etiquette, but I remembered enough to return the gesture though I nearly swayed a bit in the process. I still hadn’t recovered from my disastrous visit to the Underworld.
“I know you all have many questions needing answers, but we must return to the safety of our enchantments before anymore of Amatsu’s followers discover our whereabouts. Then we may converse freely.”
Tie slid his arm around my waist to give me the support he probably noticed I needed, and we all turned to follow Hachiman and his monks back to the sanctuary.
Angie quickly joined me on my other side and grabbed my hand.
“You scared the crap out of us,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to stop this.”
“You don’t understand, Hope,” Tie said. His clenched jaw suggested he dealt with some very overwhelming emotions right now. His fevered look forced me to contemplate the idea that this entire ordeal had nearly broken him. He looked a little unhinged. “You were on your knees staring at absolutely nothing, and when I reached for you, my hand went right through you. You went from being with us physically to being nothing more than a spirit. Then you began to fade.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Your spirit began to grow dark and you nearly disappeared. The only thing that prevented me from losing you altogether was that burst of light you sent out. I was able to latch onto it with my ki and pull you back little by little. Once you were tangible again, I brought you back as quickly as possible, but this new development means Amatsu can take you without the help of his minions. If at any point your bond with him grows just a tad stronger, he can trap you in the Underworld with him forever.”
I shook my head in dismay. “We have to find a way to reverse this,” I said.
“Maybe Hachiman will have some answers,” Angie offered.
“Answers are exactly what this group is in desperate need of,” Bishu said as he came up to Angie’s other side. “And based on how quickly you nearly disappeared, Healer, I’d say we don’t have much time left.”
Our walk to the temple was less than five minutes, but I wasn’t prepared for the sight that met me as we came to the top of a hill that overlooked the grounds below. To our left, the Shinto temple, Holy Cherry Tree, and grounds shown brightly against the backdrop of a dark-g
reen forest. The entrance to the grounds was marked by a large, torii gate, bathed in golden metals with the top beams flaring up at the ends. I didn’t remember it from my previous life, but I assumed it had been made as part of the enchantment since the golden glow from the dome burned brightest at the entrance. Small stairs led up to a long pathway paved in cobbled stones that ended at the temple’s front entrance. On the left side of the pathway, closer to the entrance, stood a small fountain for washing before continuing further on.
A temizuya, I reminded myself.
Statues of two guardian lion dogs sat on either side of the path guarding the temple. One lion had its mouth open, the other lion’s mouth was closed, symbolic of the beginning and the end of all things.
Komainu.
To the left of the temple several paces away stood the most beautiful cherry tree in full bloom, radiating its own golden hue, appearing far more ethereal than anything I had ever seen. And just to the left of that a small shrine had been erected. The building’s Japanese architecture was highlighted in red and gold accents on the roof and siding. Within the opening of the small shrine stood a statue I was horrifically familiar with. One I assumed had been destroyed when I was reborn. Apparently, the monks had seen fit to have another constructed. It did not make me happy.
Appearing to read my thoughts, Tie said, “The statue was created not only to honor your memory, but to represent kami everywhere. You remember your Japanese culture and history, don’t you?”
I nodded.
The shrine was called honden, meaning sanctuary. It was intended solely to house the enshrined kami, the kami either being represented by a mirror or a statue. I definitely would have preferred the mirror. Just looking at the stone structure so similar to the one I had been trapped in for a thousand years ruined the peaceful calm the rest of the scene produced.