by C. Lymari
My heart stopped the moment Ren leaned up and grabbed a water bottle that was in the little fridge compartment by me. For a second, I feared he would stop, and I would be forced to face my emotions. Instead, he used the opportunity to move his hand to my apex. I opened my legs a little and let him feel the arousal he had created. When his fingers finally reached my pussy, the feel of his skin caused me to bite my lip. I wanted him. I made no secret of my want; I just didn’t think he would have given in so quickly.
Ren leaned close. I had a feeling he wanted to tell me something, so I made it easier for him. His finger kept teasing my entrance, not moving just caressing.
“You’re that much of a slut that you’d get wet at a time like this?” His voice was soft, but his words cut.
Grinning, he removed his finger and made a show of pouring water on it and wiping it clean.
Marcus turned at that moment and gave him a questioning look. “What the fuck are you doing?”
My heart stopped for a second to see what he would say. I’d felt humiliated a time or two in my life, and I hated the way my stomach churned. I didn’t look at Ren, but I heard his response.
“I touched something nasty. Wanted it off my skin.”
I heard the mocking in his tone, and I was glad I had a fucked-up childhood that I was able to control my reactions. Shortly after, Marcus parked at the front of the hospital. I didn’t wait for Ren to open my door; I got out and ran inside.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Ren barked, holding on to my arm.
“I don’t know? To see if I’m finally an orphan,” I spat.
Ren didn’t say more, and his hold on my arm lessened but not by much.
When we got to the front desk, upon hearing my name, the nurse sent us to the VIP wing of the hospital—you know, only the best for my family. When the elevator doors opened, my stomach dropped when I saw Silas. He was pacing the hall, looking undone. There was a gash on his head, but other than that, he looked fine, albeit nervous. I stopped walking, and so did Ren. The hand that was gripping my arm now rested on my bare back, and he pushed me gently as if he was giving me strength.
I looked at Ren, still mad at him for what happened earlier, but a part of me wanted to ask for help. For what I had no idea. With everything going on—the nerves over seeing Silas, then the accident—I hadn’t gotten a good look at him. He was in a suit, and I supposed he looked handsome, but he didn’t look like himself; he looked more like every other guy I knew.
My gaze collided with his, and for the first time, there wasn’t disdain staring back at me.
“Ren.” I whispered his name like a prayer.
His nostrils flared, and his eyes swirled like a thunder in the day.
“Ember.” I heard my name.
My lip trembled, and I slowly turned toward Silas. He stood there looking between my bodyguard and me. I was aware we had eyes on us—not just that of our detail but staff. Doing what was expected, I ran to him. I reached him with tears in my eyes, not for him or my father, but for me.
“Fuck, baby. I’m right here. I’m okay,” Silas whispered in my ear as he comforted me.
I cried because, for a second, I wished he were dead. That was when I noticed my father was not with us.
“Where’s my dad?”
Silas pulled back and fixed his fucking tie. His jaw clenched a bit, and he looked anywhere but me.
“He’s in surgery. The fuckers who hit us ran.”
“What do you mean, ran?” Ren said, coming close to me again.
I closed my eyes when I felt his heat at my back.
“Exactly what I said. Do you need me to spell it out for you?”
“I need a moment,” I said as I ran away to the women’s bathroom.
I sank behind the door, and I cried. It didn’t matter who I was or who I pretended to be; I was a spineless little piece of shit.
Moments like this, I wished I had real friends. Someone to share my burdens with. Truth be told, I never let anyone close for fear they would see all the ugly shit I hid. I was all about being on a surface level. Like the tip of an iceberg, you never knew how much damage it would do until you collided with them.
“Ember.” Ren’s voice sounded worried on the other side of the door.
“Just a second,” I called back.
I got up from the floor and fixed my makeup. Still, there was no hiding that I’d cried. When I pulled the door open, I was met with Ren’s chest.
“What have I told you about running out on your own?” he asked in a soft tone.
“So, just because my dad might be dying, you’re going to be nice to me?” I spat at him. I think he knew I needed a distraction.
A smile spread across his face, and my stomach dipped. I’d seen him angry, frustrated, but not happy. Well, not that he looked happy, but pleased.
“What?” I asked, touching my face.
“Nothing. Come on, let’s go.” He pulled me out of the bathroom and dragged me back to the hall where Silas now stood with a doctor.
We made it there in time to hear the doctor tell Silas my dad would pull through. That the internal damage was controlled, and he had high hopes. I felt so relieved that I leaned into Ren, letting myself grow slack in his arms.
“Your father’s going to be fine,” Ren said. “You can go back to being a thirsty little slut for my dick tomorrow.”
I pulled back from him and walked away to the room where my dad was lying unconscious.
Silas was fucking me, and I should have felt ashamed, repulsed. Instead, I was dripping wet. I’d had sex before, but not like this—not like him. He kept worshiping me and kissing me—he loved me.
“Fuck, baby, I knew it would be explosive with you,” he whispered against my jaw.
“Silas,” I moaned when he circled my clit.
“Yeah?” he groaned.
“Never leave me,” I pleaded.
He pulled back, his eyes obsidian and wild. “I’m never letting you go.” He thrust in me hard, then pulled back and flipped me. “You’re mine.” He slammed into me again. “You’re fucking mine, Ember.”
He always got like this since I’d left for college two years ago. It was like he was scared I would leave him. We’d had a family dinner, and to no one’s surprise, my father had to leave for some important business. As soon as he was gone, Silas cleared the house, then led me to his room.
“Silas,” I moaned when he refused to let me come.
He chuckled and then pulled out and lay on his back, letting me ride him.
“Fuck, Ember. You don’t know how much I hate not being able to tell everyone you’re mine.”
I was his.
When we were skin to skin between these four walls, I was only his. I stopped fucking around. I stopped having dates. I had Silas, and he had me.
I put my hand on his chest and started to move, finding a rhythm and taking pleasure in it.
“I love you, Ember,” he said through greeted teeth.
“Me too,” I replied.
Once we were both spent, I pulled away from Silas, walking over to his drawer and pulling out a bag of cocaine. I always got this feeling after sex. Not during and not before, but after, and I needed to numb it. Ever since I went to college and got a taste of the real world, my beliefs started to shift a bit.
“Ember,” Silas said.
I did the line first, then looked at him.
He brought his finger to my cheek and stroked it.
“You need to change your security.”
“Why?”
“He was asking questions.”
My heart thumped.
“About what?” I asked him.
“Me, you, and how close we are.” Silas sat up, and he reached for my hips and brought me to his lap.
My heart was beating like crazy, and I knew it wasn’t only the coke.
“Can’t he be moved?”
He gripped my chin, forcing me to stare at him. His eyes had gone cold; he did
“Either you get rid of him, or I do.”
It was safe to say I had been getting rid of them all this time.
“What?” I said when I felt him staring at me.
Silas was in the room with me, and he watched me with his penetrative gaze. He walked over to where I’d been sleeping on a chair and pulled me up. He then sat down and brought me to his lap. The first thing I felt was his hardness, and I closed my eyes.
“Who is he, Ember?”
“Who?” I played stupid.
Silas’s hand came to my throat, choking me. “Don’t play stupid.”
“He’s my new bodyguard,” I spat, removing my face from his grip.
“I don’t like him.”
“Well, too fucking bad. I just got rid of the last one. You have to give me a few weeks unless you want Sammy to be my new shadow.” The lie came easy and flawlessly. “He’s tired of my shit.”
Silas stayed quiet, and I prayed he believed me. It took a minute, but his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me tightly against him.
“I hate sharing you.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “Share me with who?”
“With every fucking asshole who crosses your path.”
Yeah, after being faithful for a few years, I started to fuck everything that moved, hoping Silas would tire of me and let me go, but that didn’t work. Instead, he just fucked me harder to remind me who really owned me. He got off on it, knowing that while everyone else only got me for a night, I was his forever.
“Fuck, I missed you,” he said as he inhaled the skin behind my neck.
I felt a shiver run down my spine, not from arousal but dread.
“Silas,” I whispered.
“Damn, you know what hearing my name does to me,” he groaned.
I closed my eyes because I wasn’t in the mood for his games today. I was over them, but right now, I didn’t want to do anything with him.
“Silas, stop,” I begged, something I swore I wouldn’t do.
It never helped.
The moment the words left my mouth, I felt Silas’s fury. The taste was bitter on my tongue and heavy on my heart. His arm came to my neck, gripping it and controlling my air intake.
“Ember,” he warned as his other hand started to cup my pussy, making me arch up from the pain. “Did you forget what happens when you don’t remember who owns you?”
“S-S-Silas,” I managed to hiss.
He didn’t answer; instead, he brought his hand to under my dress, moving my thong aside and touching my pussy. I closed my eyes tightly when he chuckled because I knew I was wet—just not for him.
“You say you don’t want me, baby, but your body doesn’t lie.”
“Stop.” I held back tears as he inserted a finger in me.
I looked straight ahead, where my father slept motionlessly, and I knew I had hit a new low. Some days, I wished someone actually tried to do something to me. I had so much protection, and all for what?
“I told you what would happen if you defied me.” Silas bit my earlobe. I held back a whimper. “On. Your. Knees.”
I got up only because he allowed it. “Someone could walk in.”
“I locked the door. Told the staff to gives us a moment as a family,” he smirked at me.
My chest was rising and falling as I did what he asked of me. I sank to my knees and didn’t say a thing. I didn’t need him at my back—not right now. If he wanted to mistake my hatred for lust, that was on him. It was amazing how we as humans could mentally check out when we did things we didn’t enjoy doing. Like doing a grocery list, thinking of what errands to run, or even contemplating murder. My thumb pressed against the thorns in my flaming heart ring, feeling the pressure as I broke my skin. This was a better outlet for my pain.
Silas groaned as he came in my mouth. As soon as he was done, I got up, went to the bathroom attached to my father’s room, and spat his release out. I probably rinsed my mouth five times before I went out of the room. Silas wasn’t around, and for that, I was thankful. He’d gotten what he wanted from me, and for now he would be content.
I refused to feel violated. I had made my fucked-up bed, and now I was lying in it. I left my father’s room in a hurry; shame didn’t allow me to say goodbye to him. For all I knew, this could be the last time I’d see him.
Marcus and Ren came to me as soon as they saw me round the corner.
“Is your father okay?” Marcus asked.
“Yeah. Can you please stay with him?” I pleaded with Marcus, using that weakness I knew he had for me. I know it was wrong, but at the moment, I didn’t care.
“Yeah, you don’t even have to ask,” he said, his voice soft.
He started to reach for my face, but Ren pulled me away before Marcus could get his hands on me. Too drained to care, I let Ren drag me toward the elevator so we could head home.
“You fucked him,” Ren stated as the elevator door closed.
For a second, I froze, wondering if he knew my dirty little secret.
“What?”
“Marcus,” Ren growled.
I relaxed and leaned against the rail. I felt too tired of today—of life.
“I’ve fucked a lot of guys, Ren,” I admitted.
I didn’t dare look at his face. Not when I was feeling like shit.
The ride down was slow, the tension thick. I was starting to suffocate—at least it felt that way. Not able to stand it anymore, I looked up only to find Ren’s gaze on me. There was no emotion on his face, just an empty stare.
“I know what you think of me,” I said; he raised a brow. “I know what the world thinks of me too.”
“Is this the part where you tell me you’re trying to fill a void?”
I glared at him.
“No, this is who I am. I make no apologies for it. I make my decisions, and I live with them.”
“So, if I had left you with Marcus, would you have gotten your lipstick ruined, fucked him, and called it grief?”
His words killed, but I’d be dammed if I let him know that. I’d be dammed if I let the world know my weakness. When the elevator door dinged, I was more than happy to walk out.
Fuck him.
Fuck Silas.
Fuck my dad.
Too bad for me, there was no shaking my bodyguard at this time. Ren was there, opening my car door for me. I took a step to go in, but stopped.
“My lipstick doesn’t smear, so if I kneeled to suck dick, you’d never know,” I spat at him before going in.
The door closed with a loud thud, covering how fast my heart rate had gotten. As soon as the car turned on, I pressed the button for the partition. I couldn’t look at Ren now. I didn’t want to give him another excuse to judge me. Digging through the compartment in the middle, I sighed in relief when I found a little vial.
You see, I wasn’t your typical addict. I didn’t yearn for my next hit. I didn’t go crazy thinking about my next high. I did it to suppress the emotions when they became too much because I’d been disappointed my whole life, so I could control it.
Ren
There was a hunger in me that kept growing; unlike Ember, I was the one looking to fill a void until my next hit. My addiction didn’t get fed easily, and I’d learned to curb my appetite. As I drove back to the penthouse, I tried not to think about everything that had gone down tonight.
Number one, Marcus had it bad for Ember. The fucker was in love with her, and she knew it. She used his affection toward her and manipulated it to her advantage.
Number two, I didn’t like Silas. There was something about him that made me get twitchy fingers, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Number three, this was no accident, so whoever attacked Ember’s father and uncle wanted to send a warning or kill them.
Number four—probably the one I didn’t want to admit—was the fact that the spoiled little bitch was growing on me. I should have known she would. The first time I saw her, she intrigued me, but meeting her in person? Well, that had worked against her. Yet underneath all her ugly was a soft spot I could see but not touch—and that fucked with me.
Deciding that Ember didn’t get to hide from me, I pulled down the partition.
“Ember,” I called her name in a warning.
She turned to look at me, her eyes high and full of mischief. I didn’t smell anything, so she’d either popped a pill or inhaled it.
“Ren.” She brought up a flute of champagne to her mouth.
“What the fuck did you take?”
“I just wanted to feel happy again.” She gave me a soft smile that was all wrong.
I hated that look on her. The grip I had on the steering wheel got tighter.
“Why don’t you like me?” Ember looked at me through the mirror, our eyes meeting, and I could see the hurt in them.
“You’re a fucking mess right now,” I told her.
She laughed and tipped back more champagne. I hated her like this, the way she numbed herself. She thought she was strong, but the weakness in her reeked, especially with the bullshit she put in her system.
“Why don’t you want me?” Her voice was gravelly, and I felt her glare through the glass. “Everyone wants me.” Her voice dropped to a throaty moan.
I heard movement in the back, but I was focused on changing lanes, so I didn’t look right away.
Fuck me.
Fuck me.
Fuck.
I looked at the road and then back at Ember again. Her head was thrown back in ecstasy, her lip between her teeth, and I could see her chest rising and falling as her hand moved too far for me to see from this angle.
With my hand on the wheel and one on the mirror, I moved it until it gave me the perfect view of Ember fucking her fingers. My eyes alternated from the road to watch her fingers dip into the entrance of her pussy, gathering moisture before bringing them to her clit. Her glistening pink folds taunted me. I wanted to be the one to touch her. Earlier, I’d lied—it’d taken everything in me to stop myself—but now…
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