by C. Lymari
It’s been too long, my love.
It wasn’t long enough.
Some sins didn’t wash away with water and prayers. They became imprinted on your soul, casting a dark shadow so you’d never forget what you’d done.
Before I could back out, I changed into spandex shorts and a matching sports bra.
I made my way out the door, surprising Karen on the way out.
“Miss Remington, is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I said slowly.
“I’m sorry. It’s that you are never up this early.”
She had a point.
“Dr. Wozniak called to make sure you are okay. He said it’s been a few days, and you’ve not sent for him.”
“Ren stole my stash. I haven’t gone out for more. Tell Dr. W I’m not dead,” I said to her as I walked away.
I made it to where the gym was located. The space was dark since Ren wasn’t much for having the blinds up. I heard the noises his fist made against the punching bag.
I stopped at the entrance just to take him in. He was shirtless in a pair of gray sweatpants, with a gleam of sweat covering parts of his skin. Why did he have to wear those pants today?
Squaring my shoulders, I walked in and picked up the remote for the gym. I walked back to where I usually did yoga, but this time, I pressed the button for the pole to come out. I didn’t have to turn back around to know Ren had noticed because he stopped punching.
I didn’t turn around; instead, I turned on the surround sound and put on “Gods & Monsters” by Lana Del Rey and got down to it. I put my hand on the pole, took a step on my tiptoe, then did a twirl on the pole for warm-up. When I landed, I held on to the pole with both hands and shook my hips, gliding them down to the beat of the music, then back up. I did another twirl. This time when I landed, I put my hands as high they went and twirled, lifting myself up, feeling the burn in my body. I opened my legs and put the pole between them, then let go of one hand and straightened my body. I was slowly spinning, and he was right there watching me. He stirred on the press bench, not doing weights, but staring at me.
I lifted up again only to put the pole behind my knee, and I let go. My eyes met his as I was semi-suspended through the air, and the intensity almost caused me to collapse. I kept working the pole like I’d never worked it before, dancing to the beat of the music. Once the song was coming to an end, I climbed up to the top, then crossed my legs, my body in a sitting position. I didn’t look at Ren as I opened one of my legs so I could let go. At the same time, my body started to drop. I heard him shout my name. I ignored it. I crossed my leg a few feet before my body hit the ground, and my body came to a halt, stopping me from falling on my ass, which, judging by Ren’s shout, he thought would happen. I was breathing heavily as I touched the floor again.
Ren was right there in front of me, his body tense. I think he was scared I could have gotten hurt. I took a deep breath and looked into his icy eyes. I took a step toward him, and he didn’t move.
“Are you going to tell me that’s your gun?” I cocked a brow at him, referring to the bulge between his pants. It was long and thick, and sooner rather than later, it was going to be between my legs, pounding me into oblivion.
One second I was in control, the next Ren was. He reached out, putting his arm behind my head, pulling me closer to him.
“Do you always dance like that?” he asked with an edge to his voice.
I shrugged it off. “When the mood strikes.”
He didn’t say more, and I was feeling bold, so I reached out to touch him between his legs. The proof that no matter what he said, he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. I barely grazed him when he yanked my head back.
I groaned and not from pain.
“Kneel,” he commanded.
I smirked at him and did as he asked. My knees dropped to the floor in a heartbeat. I went for the waistband of his pants.
Ren pulled my hair again, signaling for me to stop.
Once I did, he brought my face to his crotch.
“Suck.”
The word was low. I got the feeling he was trying to keep his cool. So I did as he asked. I sucked through the thin material of the sweatpants. I heard his soft inhale as I did it, leaving a wet mess in the cloth. As I worked my way to the tip, I was yanked back, and I fell on my ass. I glared up at Ren.
“You want my dick, Ember? You have to earn it.” Then he walked away, leaving me panting on the floor.
“I hate you!” I screeched after him, having the last word.
He was making this harder than it needed to be. He would either leave by my hand or Silas’s, and I’d rather it was mine.
Ember Remington was like lava under my skin, slowly rising and boiling, but I couldn’t let it erupt. It would be a clusterfuck if I did. All she saw were the half-truths and lies I’d fed her. I usually didn’t care what women knew about me, but with Ember, I wanted her to go in with eyes wide open—and that was the problem itself. I couldn’t scare her without telling her the truth, and in saying the truth, I’d be condemning myself.
Storming out of the gym facility, I made my way outside to the terrace; that way, I could keep an eye out in case she tried to leave the penthouse. When my eyes fell on top of the kitchen island, I remembered what Ember looked like touching her body. At that moment, I’d never hated a job more than I did right now.
People liked to run from their demons, but I chased mine. Now here I was stuck in limbo for a cause I wasn’t sure I believed in anymore.
Pam had fucked up, and I needed to fix her shit.
Hell descended on earth when you least expected it.
Three days after humiliating myself, I woke up to a string of text messages from my friends. All of them congratulating me, yet demanding to know why I hadn’t told them about my new boyfriend.
As soon as I read those words, my stomach dropped. Opening the browser app on my phone, I searched my name and waited for the results.
Fuck me; I was going to be sick.
My body shook as tremors worked their way through my body as I stared at the picture on my screen. How could I have been so reckless? Closing the browser, I checked my text messages and my missed calls. I didn’t know if I should be relieved or scared that there were none from Silas. Immediately I called him, and it rang twice and got sent to voicemail. I felt like I was going to throw up.
I opened the browser app again, and I stared at the picture once more as if that would make it disappear.
Diamond heiress showcases a new boyfriend.
The caption was enough to cause attention, but pictures did say a thousand words, and that picture was saying all the wrong things. It was the day of the board meeting when Ren had held me before he hailed a cab. I was in his arms, looking up at him with a smile on my face while he stared down at me.
Pathetic.
Weak.
Hopeful.
I gazed at him with stars in my eyes like he was my salvation. While he glared at me with hate in his eyes as if I was his damnation.
One thing I was sure of now was that Ren Falcon had to go.
Throwing my phone aside, I put on jeans and a T-shirt so I could run errands before tonight’s gala. Of all days for that picture to surface, it had to be today. I laughed to myself; it didn’t matter if my father was dead or alive, it wasn’t like he’d ever protected me anyway.
Some days you fucked the world, but most of the time, the world fucked you over, and today was one of those days. Putting my mother’s choker on, I held my head high before walking out of my room. I might be all broken pieces on the inside, but I’d be dammed if I let my cracks show. Fake it till you make it.
Ren was drinking bottled water while he checked his phone. He didn’t even look up when I walked down the stairs, and in a way that made me feel more foolish and stupid than I already was.
“I need to get a few things before tonight,” I said, and he looked up to stare at me.
His expression was blank, and he gave m
“Marcus will accompany me. You have the day off.”
His eyes flashed, and if I wasn’t looking at him, I might have missed it.
“Marcus is a pussy who wouldn’t know the first thing to do if someone tried to attack you.”
Maybe he expected me to throw a tantrum because that’s what desperate old me would have done. I didn’t answer; I shrugged and walked out. The elevator ride was quiet, and he kept looking at me while I ignored him and typed on my phone. We made it to the Maybach when he broke the silence.
“Are you planning to tell me where we are going, or am I supposed to guess? ’Cause if I have to pick what we do, you probably won’t like it.”
I finished typing my text and sent it. “I just sent you today’s itinerary.”
I didn’t look at him as I spoke, and I could feel his anger as I put the divider up. Did he honestly think I’d ever take yesterday’s defeat with my head bowed? There were parts of me the world did not see—he did not see. Everyone only saw surface-deep and never dug into the wounds of others. No one ever saw the wounds I’d carried or the scars that had never healed. People saw what they wanted because that’s just how they dealt with unsavory events.
My unsavory event clung to me. I looked at my phone, and still radio silence on Silas’s part. My uncle. Once my lover. My blackmailer.
Who knew having friends made a difference in how you saw the world. Lilah was much like me—rich, spoiled, and alone. Except she wasn’t fucking her uncle. We talked about anything and everything, but I could never bring up Silas.
Then came Lexi and Aubrey, and with them, I learned more about what love and family meant. Maybe I knew it all along, and I didn’t want to see it, or I wanted to hurt my father like he had hurt me all these years, and taking his little stepbrother to bed was the easiest way. Fuck my hate into someone he considered his flesh.
Maybe I was just a victim, or I was a willing player in this filthy game. Well, it was time I ended it, because I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was tired of it, and to be frank, I was beyond angry with Silas. He said he loved me, yet he was okay with the board cutting me off during the holidays.
Daddy Dearest was on a trip to Africa; he didn’t have a clue. What did Silas do? Tell me I shouldn’t have mouthed off to the hand that fed me. What did I do? I fucked someone else since the first time we started our affair. Because it was an affair; the person we were hurting in the process was my father.
When I landed in the city, I’d taken a cab straight to Silas’s condo. I rode the elevator all the way up to his floor, feeling lighter—feeling free. It was early enough that I could do this. Break things off, then go home, get high, and forget about ever fucking him.
When I made it to his condo, I put the security code and let myself in. I wanted this done and over, and I didn’t think when I went in search of him. When I made it to his room, I felt nothing, and that right there should have clued me in on my feelings.
Silas was leaned against the headboard while some blonde bimbo sucked him off. I wasn’t jealous, nor hurt, I just felt stupid for going along with this in the first place.
“Hi, Uncle.” I smiled at him and waved.
He looked at me with a blank face. I turned around and walked to his office. I smiled to myself, feeling better because this was actually easier than I thought it would be. I was standing by his desk when Silas walked in with no shirt, his pants pulled up, but the zipper opened, revealing his happy trail. Well, happy for blondie who was in his room. Seriously, I felt such relief right now, knowing we were on the same page.
“I actually came here to talk—”
My cheek turned from the force of Silas’s slap. The sting of his hand burned on my skin. I glared at him. This was nothing like the Silas I knew.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” he seethed.
I took a step back, but he was right there holding on to my throat.
“You fucked Enzo Toscano.”
“Y-y-you fucked…” It was hard to get words out. Part of me couldn’t believe Silas had hit me.
“Yeah, because you’re a slut, but you know what, Ember? You are still mine. So go fuck Enzo—hell, the whole fucking world—but at the end of the day, I’m the one who owns this.” His hand came to my pussy, gripping it with force, making me howl in pain.
“Stop!” I howled, my heart pounding hard against my ribs. “Get off me!”
I tried to push him off, but instead, he pushed me back until I hit his desk with my back painfully. He then turned me around and bent me over the desk.
“Enough, Silas! Let me go!”
He had me trapped, I couldn’t move at all, and that was when fear like I had never felt before ran through my body. People always said my name was fitting because I was full of fire, but at this moment, I felt like my veins were freezing over. My body started to shiver. The pit of my stomach felt like it had a hole that was an endless void. Bile made its way up my throat.
“I tried this your way. Now we do this mine.”
Silas grabbed my long hair and wrapped it in his hand. He pulled it so tight my scalp burned. He brought his arm on top of me, and he leaned his weight on me so I couldn’t move. I felt his erection press against my ass, and for the first time in my life, I prayed.
Silas turned his computer monitor around and dug through files hidden amongst files until he played a video for me.
Every. Single. Time. I’d given my body so freely to him, and he’d recorded it. My eyes burned with unshed tears, my throat felt tight, and under my tongue saliva pooled. The video he showed me was manipulated to his liking.
“Stop… Ember, stop… Goddammit… I said, stop.” Silas’s voice sounded pissed.
In the video, it looked like I was in his lap trying to seduce him. I remembered that day. It was during fashion week; he’d hated the dress I was wearing because it was too short. When we made it to his apartment, he wanted to fuck me. He was begging me not to make him come yet, not for me to stop.
“Please.” My breathy moan made me flinch. “Please. I’ve waited so long for this.”
I sounded like a wanton slut who wanted to seduce her uncle. I watched as the screen showed my face buried in his neck before I kissed him. My eyes blurred as I kept watching. This was all wrong. I was referring to the fact that he had fingered me on the ride home without letting me come, not what the video implied. While my face was buried in his neck, he was telling me he loved me. The footage showed Silas throwing me to the side on the couch as he looked distressed, when in reality, he did that so he could fuck me into next week.
“Why?” I croaked as the footage turned to another clip that looked like it was from the same day, but I knew it wasn’t. I was on my knees, sucking Silas off with a smirk on my face.
Silas gripped my hair, forcing me to keep watching.
“Not one time did you tell me you loved me,” he hissed. “I was prepared to make you my queen, Ember, and you proved to be a backstabbing bitch, just like all of them.”
“Silas, this is wrong,” I pleaded as I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at the screen.
He laughed. “Wrong? You sure as fuck didn’t think that when your pussy would get all wet when I fucked it. You did this to yourself, Ember.”
“Silas, let me go…please.” My eyes were still closed, and for the first time in my life, I was begging.
He brought his lips to my ear and kissed behind my neck. My skin crawled.
“Never. I can’t. I am never letting you go.”
“I’ll go to the police, asshole!” I screamed, trying to break free.
“I will release that video and more. You seduced me. You came to me. Who do you think they’ll believe? You, the drug addict, the party heiress who is always on the tabloids for reckless behavior, or me, the orphan boy who got a new chance at life and has won humanitarian awards? I’m a man, and I can only take so much.”
He stopped talking and started to pull my pants down.
<br /> “How could I resist…”
I closed my eyes tighter as tears wanted to spring free.
“…What was so freely given?” Silas spread my legs with his, and he plunged into me.
It burned.
My body was not ready for his penetration. Pain spread through my sex and my lower stomach. I wanted him gone, but he was right. These were my sins, and now I was paying for it. I closed my eyes tightly, thinking of better and happier days. The funny part was that I didn’t have any of those. I didn’t have happy memories with my mother because she was dead. My father had never been in my life. His empire was more important than his daughter. And the one person who said they loved me was—I couldn’t think the word. It made me feel dirty, and it wasn’t true. Not when I’d wanted it in the first place.
My pussy throbbed in pain by the time Silas grunted in pleasure. I held my tears at bay and didn’t make a sound as I heard him zip his jeans up.
“Fuck who you want, Ember. Just know that at the end of the day, I still get you. With or without your cooperation. Tell anyone and that video will make news.”
When he walked away, I stayed in the same position for about twenty minutes, telling myself it was my fault.
Our bodies can handle almost anything, and mine had. Silas had turned me into what I was today. I adapted the only way I knew how. Mentally, I hated what he did to me, but physically I’d learned to like it. As humans, we wanted to survive, to cope, and it didn’t matter what kind of depraved things you did, telling yourself it was normal. My body was forced to like the pain.
After all, it wasn’t rape if you got off on it, right?
My hands wrapped tight against the steering wheel as I drove to the location Ember had sent me. This was what I’d wanted since the beginning: not to have to play babysitter. But now that I had it, I missed her smart-ass fucking mouth. That day in the control room, I almost snapped and gave in. Hell, before she came in, I was ready to jack off to the footage of her touching herself. Ember in the back seat of the Maybach fingering herself was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen.
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