Chapter Seventeen
Cian’s words were greeted with sympathetic murmurs and a big hug from Cheryl. Shelley felt stunned. Part of her wanted to be that au pair, getting a good rogering from behind, another part was listening to the alarm bells his tale had set ringing in her head. Cian was a troubled soul. While he obviously wanted to get help, and get his life organised, the fact that he was still a world-famous rock star living the life suggested this would be no easy road. This was the second time he’d been institutionalised and probably wouldn’t be the last if you listened to the statistics.
The man himself, after a few moments of uncertain silence, pointed with a thumb towards the door.
‘I’m starving! Lunch?’
He and Larry raced for the door, trying to trip each other up. The others followed behind. Shelley was last to leave. She was already composing the story in her mind, writing it mentally before transferring it to the BlackBerry’s electronic brain via her thumbs later that night.
Outside the door, she came across Verity and Will standing just outside the door, Will was angry, jabbing his finger at the counsellor.
‘I’m telling you I’ve had enough,’ he said. ‘I don’t see the point in sitting here listening to this filth day after day, then doing these idiotic exercises when half the group doesn’t bother to attend.’ He caught Shelley’s eye. ‘Shelley, you’re a smart girl. I see you sitting there trying not to laugh during the lectures, it’s a joke, isn’t it?’
‘Will, please calm down,’ Verity said. ‘I am here to listen to your concerns about the course, but there is an appropriate time and place for such a discussion. Why not take a break, then come and see me in my office? We can talk this through.’
Will opened his palm towards Shelley, as if to say, ‘Why don’t you back me up?’
‘Look Will,’ she said. ‘I think you should listen to Verity on this one. Take a walk and get some fresh air. You need to clear your head before you make a decision like this.’
Will’s brought his hands against his sides in frustration, and his eyes widened, giving him the look of a puppy she’d just kicked. Shelley knew Will saw her as an ally in all this, and now a turncoat one. He stalked off.
‘Thank you, Shelley,’ said Verity. ‘You handled that maturely.’ She too walked away. Shelley frowned, she wasn’t sure she wanted Verity’s approval on this, having some sympathies for Will’s point of view. Plus Verity had said it in a tone that suggested Shelley was normally as mature as a Beaujolais nouveau. Had she been talking to Galloway about Shelley’s temper tantrum?
She walked towards the dining room, rounded a corner and bumped into someone very tall and hard. She bounced off and fell to the carpet. ‘For the love of buggery, why can’t you look where you’re going?’ she shouted as the clumsy oaf helped her to her feet. She looked up at him.
‘Aidan!’
‘Sorry to surprise you like this, Shelley. I didn’t know I was coming either until this morning. I had to drive up to Wolverhampton for an urgent meeting and I had time to spare so I figured I’d pop in and see how you’re getting on.’
‘Fine,’ Shelley said shortly. She knew she was pouting a bit but she couldn’t stop. It was all very well for Aidan, swanning about, dropping in on people at a whim. She was the one trapped here with people shouting at her and attractive men with complicated love lives throwing themselves at her. She wasn’t at all sure she had forgiven him for dropping her in it like this.
‘How did you get in?’ she asked, looking around. ‘We’re not allowed visitors.’
‘I told them it was a family emergency. The girl on the desk wasn’t sure at first but I talked my way in.’
Charmed your way in, more like, Shelley thought.
‘The column’s going down a storm on the website,’ Aidan said in a low voice. ‘I’m posting extracts and people are voting for the story they like the best then we’re going to print the full text of it in the first magazine.’
‘Great,’ sniffed Shelley. ‘So these people’s personal lives and private tragedies are now the subject of some vapid popularity contest.’
Aidan frowned and stood back a little. ‘You seem to have forgotten you’re a journalist, Shelley. You’re here, at the expense of the company, to do a job for us. You’re not here to make friends.’
Shelley, slightly stung, sat back in her chair. Then she pulled herself together. She nodded. ‘I know, I’m sorry, I guess I’ve just become … institutionalised.’
Aidan leaned forward again. ‘Go on,’ he said, softly, looking into her eyes and nodding in a reassuring manner. Shelley melted a little.
‘I feel different, Aidan. I feel this place is changing me. Not quite sure what into yet,’ she said with a smile. ‘I keep losing my temper,’ she said. ‘I’m more emotional, more … passionate, I suppose.’
He smiled, his face lighting up.
‘A bit of passion’s no bad thing,’ he said. ‘And I don’t think you wanted for passion before.’
‘Really?’
‘On the dance floor at that party last year. I liked what I saw that night.’ Aidan stopped and looked uncertain for an instant. His face was a closed book again, his tone brash. ‘I realised you had balls, Shelley, and I knew you were the person for this job.’
Shelley nodded, her head a whirl. What had just happened there? Had she just seen a chink in his armour?
‘Anyway, there are plenty of other things happening in the office. Briony’s column is perfect. The sort of things she claims to get up to … you live with her, don’t you? Is she really like that?’
Shelley nodded. ‘Whatever she writes, I dare say it’s all entirely true. She probably cuts out the raunchiest bits in case her PC sets on fire.’
Aidan laughed. ‘The post-room boys are blogging like demons down there between deliveries. They certainly have some … er, interesting and strongly-worded views, particularly on some of the younger ladies in the office.’
‘What about Freya?’ Shelley asked as casually as she could.
‘Some good stuff,’ Aidan said, looking at his feet quickly. Hmm, Shelley thought, why so coy? ‘She’s giving me some really deep, some really long …’
‘Yes?’ Shelley said encouragingly.
‘… pieces on the psychology of love. I may give her the cover story …’
‘May?’ Shelley asked.
‘May … unless I decide to put another story on the front.’ And with that he looked Shelley in the eye. A tiny current of something passed between them. She was sure of it.
‘Oh, by the way,’ Aidan said. ‘Have you encountered a Dr Galloway yet?’
‘Yes, he heads the alcohol and drug rehab centre, but also does one-on-one sessions with the sex addicts.’
‘Great. I want you to get close to him. See if you can get anything useful on celebrities who may have had need of his expertise.’
‘Anyone specific?’
‘I heard a rumour they may be a rather well-known actress who comes here from time to time, as well as an aging rocker, but I’m not fussy. Get me some dirt on anyone C-List and up.’ Aidan looked at his watch. ‘Must run, good to see you, Shelley.’
They stood, their eyes locked. Aidan leaned in slowly towards her.
Oh my fucking God. He’s going to kiss me!
Shelley felt her lips part and she craned her neck.
‘I am enjoying your stories, Shelley,’ said Aiden in her ear. ‘You have a real gift for writing … erm, action sequences.’ He broke away. ‘Keep up the good work.’
Then he turned and strode off down the hall to the front door. Shelley followed him for a couple of steps, then watched him go, her head a battlefield of emotions.
It was strictly professional. Aidan did not see her like that. Damn you, Matthews. Think of the cats.
‘Now food,’ Shelley said out loud, heading for the dining room along the winding corridors. As she rounded the corner she found Abigail, holding Sandra in a head lock and bashing her skull agai
nst the doorjamb.
‘Stop!’ Verity called, running up and flapping like a drunken ostrich. Cian and Cliff were there too, grinning madly and egging the girls on.
‘Fight, fight, fight!’ Larry called from inside the room.
Abigail let Sandra go and eyed her menacingly, fists raised. One of her rages? Shelley wondered.
‘She started it,’ Sandra spat. ‘She’s always bossing me about. Put the tea there, Sandra, bring me a glass of water, Sandra, carry my bag, Sandra. She treats me like I’m a fucking slave!’
‘You’re supposed to be a nurse!’ Abigail snarled back at her. ‘You’re supposed to be sensitive to our problems and speak to us appropriately. But you’re as sensitive as an iron clitoris and your language about as appropriate as a chocolate tampon.’
The red-faced Sandra glared back at her then suddenly made another lunge at Abigail. In a flash Galloway was there and pulled the dominatrix out of the way. At the same time Dr Jones arrived and tried to grab the flailing nurse, missed altogether and fell to the floor with a crash. She lay there, moaning weakly. Eventually an orderly turned up and wrapped his burly arms around Sandra. ‘Calm down, love,’ he said, gently.
Dr Jones was led away, for a cup of tea, or probably something stronger if Shelley was any judge of character.
Shelley slipped past the mêlée into the dining room, hoping they hadn’t stopped serving. She managed to scrape together a few bits and pieces Larry and Cian had left and sat down for a well-earned meal. Sandra came in holding an ice pack against the side of her head and plonked herself down opposite. Shelley peered at her, a forkful of cold quiche half-way to her mouth.
‘Someone was here for you,’ the nurse said slyly.
‘Yes, he found me, it was my brother, Aidan.’
‘Not him, someone else. Strange-looking bloke. Told him you were in a meeting.’
‘Well, come on, don’t be so mysterious, who was it?’
Sandra paused for a while, savouring the moment.
‘Funny hair. Said his name was Gavin.’
After lunch they were given some free time to settle down and most of the group headed for the pool. Everyone except Abigail and Will were already there by the time Shelley had changed and made her way down. She’d sat in her room for a while, trying to work out who could have told Gavin she was here. She took out the BlackBerry, and typed an email.
Briony Binns, did you tell Gavin I was here?
A knock on the door made Shelley plunge the device under her pillow. The handle turned, and Verity entered without waiting for permission.
‘Hope the little fracas didn’t upset you today, Shelley.’
‘Not at all,’ she replied. ‘I appreciate that sometimes tensions run high in these groups, particularly after a few days when people are starting to miss their … well, whatever they were addicted to.’
Verity nodded. ‘And that man you were chatting with in the Mountain Room?’
‘My brother,’ Shelley said, levelly. Verity seemed to accept this.
‘Good. Good,’ said Verity. She looked around the room as though it was the first time she’s seen it. ‘The others are at the pool. You should join them.’
As she left, the BlackBerry beeped. Shelley looked in panic at the door, expecting Verity to reappear with a triumphant gleam in her eye. Thankfully, she didn’t. Shelley let her heartbeat slow, then pulled out the BlackBerry.
No, of course not, what do you take me for? Gavin
did come into the office looking for you though. I
saw him talking to Freya. Miss you.
‘No running, Larry!’ Shelley heard Verity shout. ‘And put some trunks on!’
Given the lengths the centre had gone to remove any form of sexual temptation, allowing a bunch of sex addicts to wander around wearing skimpy bathing suits seemed to Shelley a little foolish. It was like laboriously going through a dieter’s cupboard, throwing away all the bad stuff only to leave them a pizza menu and a credit card. They evidently thought that the wholesome qualities of good, old-fashioned exercise outweighed the potential for underwater fumbling.
Shelley tried not to look at Cian’s taut belly. She looked the other way only to see a muscular Cliff lifting the lithe Cheryl out of the water. She briefly wondered what it would be like to run her fingernails down those firm back muscles.
She dived straight in at the deep end and made good speed up the pool. She tumble-turned and pushed off again at the far end, head down, arms stretched out in front, then she powered down to the deep end again. Half-way, she collided with someone, or more specifically two someones. She pulled back, suddenly swamped, and found herself taking hold of Cliff’s shoulder. Cheryl had accidentally on purpose got herself entangled in Shelley’s legs and snaked an arm round her waist to stop from dipping under. ‘Can’t swim,’ she gasped, grabbing hold of Shelley’s left breast.
‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Verity called. ‘Come away from one another.’
Shelley frowned, then smiled in spite of herself as Cliff slipped an arm under each woman and lifted them up out of the water so their upper bodies were exposed. Turning to Verity he called out ‘Just rescuing these maidens, Verity. Nothing sexual going on.’
As Shelley was resting at the deep end, supporting herself on her crossed arms, Will walked in with Mick Galloway. Both were fully dressed.
‘Will has something he’d like to say,’ the doctor called out, and the hubbub died down.
Will cleared his throat. ‘Look, everyone, I’d just like to apologise for my attitude and my threat to leave. I see now that we’re a team, and that I need to support you all if I’m to receive support in return. That’s it, really.’ He smiled sheepishly.
‘Good for you, mate,’ Cian called.
‘Hear, hear,’ Shelley added. ‘Welcome back, Will.’ He grinned at her gratefully and went off to sit on a lounger. As Shelley turned around, she couldn’t help but notice that Cliff, for one, didn’t look overjoyed to hear Will had decided to stay. Presumably he’d been looking forward to having the room to himself.
Abigail came in a little later too. She shrugged at Shelley’s inquisitive look. ‘We kissed and made up. She’s still a cow though.’
It was nice to have them all back together, Shelley thought as she climbed out of the pool and headed for the changing rooms, Larry watching her as she went.
While showering, Shelley felt as if she were being watched. She looked around the communal showers, wondering if there might be gaps or holes through which an enthusiastic voyeur might be able to peer. She couldn’t see anything but had given herself the creeps. She wrapped a towel around herself, grabbed her gym bag and decided to look for a private cubicle to change in. She tried a couple of doors that were locked but the third opened and she peered in. It was a boiler room. It looked rarely used and she popped inside and closed the door behind her. It was warm and felt safe. She got changed and found herself a comfortable spot to sit on some old foam mats in the corner. Then she pulled the BlackBerry out of her bag. After Sandra’s little visit while she’d been at the pub, Shelley made sure she took the device, and the charger, everywhere with her.
She settled down and began composing her next text to Aidan.
If my mum could see me now, she thought. Sitting in a boiler room at a sex addiction clinic writing a saucy account of the exploits of a rock star and e-mailing it to a boss I fancy a bit. Or a lot, if I’m honest.
She chuckled to herself as she wrote, but then her smile disappeared as she remembered it would be her turn to make her confessional in just two days’ time.
She didn’t want to lie to her friends. But what else could she do?
Chapter Eighteen
Sunlight poured in through the windows of the Mountain Room. Shelley gazed out over the fields, watching a bird of prey hovering, waiting for some unsuspecting mouse or rabbit to come out from its hiding place. Shelley felt like the mouse.
‘We’re running late,’ Verity called out through the door
as the stragglers dawdled. Cliff and Cheryl were whispering to each other, discussing their confessional. Will and Abigail were already seated. Shelley made her way to her seat as the boys and Rose hurried in smiling sheepishly at the mumsy counsellor.
‘Right-o then,’ Verity said, smiling at the couple. ‘No time to waste. Please begin when you’re ready.’
The couple glanced at each other nervously and stood together, holding hands. Cliff said:
‘I hope you don’t mind, but we’re going to tell the story together. And we made some brief notes, just to keep us on the right track.’
‘That’s fine,’ Verity said, ‘Please begin.’
Cheryl: We were childhood sweethearts, I suppose. We lived in the same street in Portishead, a suburb of Bristol. Our parents were friends and we played together in the park. We played the usual games, and explored each other’s bodies. We went to the same school, Cliff is a year older than me but we saw each other in the playground, he was like an older brother and looked after me. We first kissed outside the McDonalds in Bristol. Later, at secondary school we each went out with different people but we always stayed firm friends. We got together properly in sixth form and lost our virginity to one another under a blanket at an end-of-school party. Then we went off to different universities.
Cliff: We drifted apart then, naturally, I had quite a serious girlfriend, by which I mean we were serious about each other, not that she never smiled. Though she was a bit of a punk I suppose. Anyway, I have to admit I didn’t think too much about Cheryl. We met up from time to time when we came home to visit our respective parents, so we kept in touch. I suppose I figured she’d always be there, do you know? Cheryl was part of home. Part of my life and part of me.
Cheryl: After university I went on a gap year and Cliff moved to London as he’d been offered a graduate trainee position for an insurance company. When I got back from Asia I decided to move to London myself. Cliff’s mum gave me his address and I just turned up one day, to surprise him. He opened the door and gave me the loveliest smile, like he’d never been happier to see anyone in his life. He looked great, fit, his hair shorter than the last time I’d seen him when he was in his hippy phase. He invited me in and we sat, ate chocolate Hobnobs and drank gallons of tea while we caught up.
Confessions Page 18