Laurel had been the one who had pulled me out of my slump. She was there for me when Brandi wasn’t… I definitely owed her more than just suddenly walking out on her –packing my bags in the middle of the night and telling her so-long the next morning. I owe her a better goodbye than that, but it’s done now.
My breakfast winds up getting cold long before I finish it. I shake my head and sigh, pushing my eggs to the side –playing with my food like a child. There is so much on my mental plate right now that I can’t finish the actual one in front of me. My stomach aches, and I feel positively nauseous. Work is going to be hectic now too; I have to go back tomorrow. Alex, my boss, gave me a few days off, but I can’t keep putting off going to the gym much longer. I wonder if Laurel will be there? It is her gym; if she’s not there, I’m sure her friends will be at the very least. My reemergence into the boxing world has not quite taken off yet, so I need to keep my day job for the time being. Working as a trainer at an all women’s gym turned out to be a lot better than I had thought it would be, but now that all of this craziness has gone down, I’m not exactly looking forward to going back.
My phone goes off again, and I look at a text from Marty. What do U think Gabe would think about all this?
That does it. I slam my phone down. That was a line, and now I’m pissed. I text him to fuck off. Gabe, my former trainer’s assistant and my best friend, had been killed not too long ago. They’re still looking for the guy who did it; they found the assailant’s car a while back, but that is as far as the investigation has gone. I can’t believe he would try to make me feel guilty using Gabe’s name like that. I ought to kick his ass for that one. I might. I wonder how Gabe’s little sister is doing? I haven’t seen Mary since the birthday party we all threw for her.
I shake my head and put the thoughts aside for the time being; I turn my phone off so I will stop getting text messages. Hopefully Alex doesn’t try to reach me before my shift tomorrow. I’ll talk to the guys sooner or later; they had all gotten pretty close to my girl. Tyler and Marty had been close with Brandi once, but they feel like she abandoned me when I needed her. My alcoholism was too much for her, though, and I can’t blame her for that. I suddenly hear water running, and I realize Brandi must be up and in the shower upstairs. Looks like my day is about to be underway.
62
Brandi enters the kitchen, her hair pulled up into a towel. She smiles at me in such a way that I am able to brush aside the memory of Marty’s over the line text he had just sent. Her gaze is warm and inviting, and I am convinced that I did the right thing coming home. “Morning,” she says and then suddenly throws her hand over her mouth and nose. “Oh, God, is that ham?” she looks like she’s going to be sick, and she darts out of the kitchen.
Marie, the maid, has just come out of the back room. “Aye!” she shrieks, “I completely forgot about the ham.”
Brandi is gone, and just like that my morning seems to have taken a less than pleasant turn. “What’s wrong with the ham?” I ask.
“She’s been having aversions,” Marie explains. “The pregnancy, you know? Just the smell of bacon normally sends her straight to the bathroom. I should have told you that last night when you ordered your breakfast.”
I shake my head, “That’s my bad. I should know these things.”
Marie grumbles under her breath. “It’s not like she gave you a chance to know.” And then her face turns red in worry that I had overheard. Marie’s always been my favorite. Back in the day –before the divorce –Marie had always been my favorite of the house staff. She secretly always took my side, and Brandi always hated her. I had been surprised that Marie hadn’t gotten fired after Brandi threw me out.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you,” I say and wink at her.
“Sorry,” she says and looks away embarrassingly.
I get up and head upstairs; I can hear water running as I enter into the bedroom. I find Brandi in the master bath just splashing water on her face. “Hey,” I say. “I’m sorry about the ham. I didn’t know it would make you sick.”
“It’s okay,” she says as she dabs her face with a towel. She stands upright, one hand on her stomach, and stretches her back. She smiles that lovely smile of hers. “How could you have known?” She comes up to me and puts a hand on my chest. “So today I was thinking we grab lunch at that café you told me about near the gym. Then maybe we can go do some shopping and pick out some stuff for the nursery?”
I smile at her. “Brandi, I’d love to, but I have to work today.”
“I thought you don’t have a match set up right now?” she questions.
“No, I mean at the gym,” I say. “I have to work at the gym today.”
“Oh,” she says, and she sounds disappointed. She laughs slightly. “I figured you were going to quit. You should. Soon your boxing career is going to take off again, and it’s not like I don’t have some money put aside. Besides, it’s just a distraction for you anyways.”
I smile at her to let her know I’m half-joking. “You’re not just saying that because it’s Laurel’s gym, are you?”
She shakes her head, fighting off a slight grin. “I don’t have to worry about that, do I? Laurel seemed like a nice woman. She wouldn’t try anything, would she?”
I kiss her forehead. “Even if she did, I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise. You’re my girl,” I say it, but a part of me wonders if I mean it. “But I am not going to leave Alexis hanging. She gave me a job when I really needed it, and I rather not take the chance. For all I know, Caleb won’t get me booked for another match in months, and these low-budget matches don’t bring in the kind of money I’m used to. It’s best I hold down some sort of job. You can’t dance right now either since you’re busy, you know, growing a human.”
She laughs. “Yes, I suppose your right. I guess I’m just a little worried for you. You told me all of Laurel’s friends go to that gym, and I just don’t want them giving you too hard of a time.”
“I’m a big boy,” I say, “I think I can handle a few hostiles.”
Brandi slips her fingers around the tie of my robe. “You know what we haven’t done since you came home?” she says with this alluring look about her.
“Oh?” I question. “What’s that?”
She leans forward and kisses me, and I can feel her big, round belly press against me first, and I instinctively lean my waist back and away from her as though I think I’m going to crush the baby if I hug her too tight. She pulls back, and she looks upset. “What’s wrong?” she asks me. She looks like she’s going to cry. Pregnancy hormones, man.
I kiss her cheek, “You look beautiful, Brandi.”
“Then what’s wrong?” she asks.
“I just didn’t want to squish the baby,” I assure her, and she laughs at my response.
“You’re so stupid,” she says and grabs the sleeves of my robe and yanks the whole thing down off me in one fell swoop. The robe drops to the ground, and her eyes scan me up and down. I feel her fingers trace my chest, and we hurry back into the bedroom.
This, I have to say, is a new experience for me. I guess it is a little ridiculous, but I’m worried about how to go about this. She really is beautiful this way, though. The whole pregnancy glow thing is real. I miss kissing her and holding her close to me in our bed. I forget about Laurel, and I pull Brandi close to me. I move slow and cautiously as though I think I’m going to break her. She’s such a petite woman, so that pregnant belly looks so huge on her. Her lips trace my collarbone, and I run my hands up and down her back. “That feels good,” she tells me; I’m sure her back is tired. I rub her sore breasts too, and she giggles. I wish I could live in this moment for a while longer, but I am already going to be late for work.
Brandi is laying on her side, that same wonderful smile etched on her face with an added look of sexual gratification. I throw on my gym shorts and company t-shirt before leaning down and kissing her goodbye. “You taking the Ferrari to work?” she asks as she nestle
d up into her pillow.
“I think I’ll take the Volkswagen,” I say. “It’s really grown on me.”
“Yeah, after you gave it that gaudy pain job,” she says.
“Sorry, but pink is not exactly my color,” I say, realizing the ridiculousness of the sentence since I am wearing a white t-shirt with this giant pink logo on it. I give her one last kiss goodbye before heading out. Today is going to be a rough day.
63
I enter into the back entrance at the gym, and I immediately spot Alex standing in the hallway with her hair pulled up into that same old ponytail of hers; she does it to hide the bits of gray in her hair, and she does so unsuccessfully. Her arms are crossed, and her eyes narrow when they see me. I check down at my phone. Five minutes late. “You’re late,” she snarls slightly. “I gave you a few days off, and you’re late on your first day back?”
“I’m only five minutes late,” I say; she’s not normally such a stickler.
“Yes –exactly. Five minutes late,” she says. “I need you to clean the bathrooms.”
“Really?” I question. “I cleaned them just a couple of days ago.”
“Well do it again,” she says.
I’m not used to this sort of attitude from her. “No problem,” I say to her. I cross my arms. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“Yeah, actually,” she says. “Laurel hasn’t been here since you dipped out, and it has all of my fighters on edge. My trainers are starting to get antsy too, and I have a lot of people wanting you to beat it. If it wasn’t for all those soccer moms who are gaga over you, you’d be gone.”
“Geez, Alex, I didn’t mean to get things stirred up at the gym,” I say. “And honestly, I didn’t mean to hurt Laurel. I really didn’t. Brandi is my wife, or she was, and she’s pregnant with my child. Do you think I should have just walked away from that?”
Alex crosses her arms and presses her lips together as she rummages through her brain for a response. “No, I suppose not,” she says at last and then uncrosses her arms. “You’re just putting me in an awkward situation.”
“I know,” I say. “And I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can do about it now. I can assure you that when Laurel decides to start coming back I will do whatever I can to make sure I don’t make her uncomfortable. I’m just here to work. Honestly, that’s all,” I look at my phone again. “I have a class to teach, if I still have a job, that is.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Alex says and waves me off with her hand. “You still got a job for now. Besides, with you heading up the marathon event, I’d be a real dumbass to fire you right now.”
“And don’t you forget it,” I tease as I hurry into the gym, taking the long way around so that I don’t have to walk right by the boxing ring where the female fighters, Laurel’s friends, will surely be hanging out. I head to the second floor to one of the open rooms where one of my self-defense classes will be taking place.
The soccer moms all love me, so the morning starts out pretty decent. I teach my class, and nothing goes awry. It’s what comes after this that has me on edge. Alex needs me working the ground floor doing some equipment repair; the ground floor is where the boxing ring is set up. Once the class is over, I head downstairs, and I enter into the lionesses den. Britany, Marianna, Katie, LaWanda, and Eleanor are all present. I cringe when I realize that Britany, the brunette brute, has spotted me. “Hey, asshole!” she calls out from the ring.
I see Marianna shift uncomfortably; she’s dating one of my best friends, so I know she doesn’t want to cause trouble with me even if Tyler is just as peeved off at me as the women are. “Hey,” I do this awkward wave as I keep my distance and busy myself with a broken treadmill. Shit gets broken around here a lot; I swear I’m always fixing the same stuff over and over again.
Britany is not shy about it. She walks across the gym and is standing over me within minutes. “You want to tell me what the hell you did to Laurel?” she asks.
I’m sitting on the gym floor with a tool bag beside me as I attempt to fix the backend of the treadmill; I can’t help but wonder if I answer in a way that she finds dissatisfying if she will punch me in the head. “Britany, I don’t think that’s any of your business,” I say as calmly as I can. “You can talk to Laurel.”
“How am I supposed to talk to her if she’s bumming it out at some ghetto gym to avoid seeing you?” Britany snarls. “What the hell, Jonathan?” she crosses her arms, and I wish she would stand still. With the way she is walking around me, I feel like the prey to a wildcat.
“Look,” I say firmly and toss my tools down. I don’t stand up; I don’t want this to turn into a screaming match because she thinks I’m challenging her or something. “I care about Laurel. I really do. And I’m sorry that she got hurt because of all of this, but what the hell would you have done?”
“Excuse me?” she questions.
“What would you have done, Britany? It’s not just Brandi I was going back to, you know?” I glare up at her, but I try not to make it too intense. Britany would be dumb enough to swing on me, and I’m not getting fired today. “I wish things could be different, but they’re not, all right? I can’t just walk away from my kid. From my daughter.”
Britany crosses her arms and appears to curl up within herself. She searches for a response –a bitter comment to throw back at me, but she doesn’t have one. “Didn’t know you were having a girl. I guess I should say congratulations.”
“Thanks,” I say sadly. “I really am sorry I hurt Laurel, I hope you know that. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I never stopped caring about Brandi, though. She left me; I didn’t leave her. She left me, and then I find out she’s pregnant. Then all of a sudden she wants to give me a second chance. It’s complicated. I wish things had turned out differently.”
“How do you mean?” Britany asks.
I just shrug. “Just not like this. I really am sorry. I just hope Laurel knows that. I shouldn’t have left things the way I did.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Britany says. She shakes her head. “But I guess it’s done now. Maybe we shouldn’t go through this whole rivalry thing again. We’re friends, right?”
I laugh. “If that will keep you from leaving your dirty tampons lying around for me to clean up, then sure, yeah, we’re friends, Brit.”
She laughs too, but it’s a sad laugh. “For real, though,” she says, “congratulations on the little girl. After that little party we did for your friend’s sister, well, I think I can say that you’re going to be a pretty good dad.”
“I thought we agreed to never talk about that?” I question, and a small smile creeps onto my face. I really didn’t want to start back on square one with Britany and the others; I’m glad we’re being descent towards each other.
She nods rapidly. “Oh, believe me, if you ever tell anyone about that giant yellow dress you idiots got me in, I’ll strangle you, but it was actually pretty cool of you. I bet Mary will remember her little princess party for a long time, Mr. Charming.”
“That’s Prince Charming to you,” I say as I recollect the ridiculous costume I had worn to Gabe’s little sister’s birthday party.
“Of course,” she says with an eye roll before heading back over to the boxing ring. I breathe a sigh of relief. If Britany, the stubbornest of the group, is going to be decent towards me, I’m sure I can expect the rest of the group to keep steady heads while I’m at work. I’m just worried about what’s going to happen when Laurel decides she’s ready to come back to her regular gym. I miss her, and that worries me.
64
“Nice,” I say to Marty as he exits the dressing room. He’s dressed in a fine, slim-fitting suit. I can tell from the look on his face that he is not digging the brown, though.
“I think I’d rather do the traditional thing and go for black,” Marty grumbles as he tries the tie on that Amy, his wife-to-be, had picked out to go with the suits. The ties match the bridesmaids’ dresses, so that was her only criteria
as far as suits go. Right now, I’m betting that Marty almost wishes Amy had done this too. “What do you guys think?” Marty asks and turns to us.
“If you want to do black, do black,” Bobby says, and I swear I almost forgot he was here. He’s been really quiet; he, along with the rest of us, hadn’t really expected Marty to ask him to be a groomsmen. The timid former alcoholic lawyer, Bobby, has only recently joined our group of friends. In addition to Bobby and me, there’s Tyler and Marty’s younger brother Randy that will be standing in as groomsmen. Tyler had been asked to be the best man.
“Yeah, well, black doesn’t really go with this whole theme that Amy’s got going on,” Marty grumbles. “I wish she had come to help me with this.”
Randy, basically a teenaged version of his brother, rolls his eyes. “Damn it, Marty, I’m not trying on anymore tux’s, I swear to God. We’ve been here all fucking day.” The words are harsh, but his tone is playful.
“I got a thought,” I say and Marty grunts in my general direction. He and Marty are both still a little peeved off at me for the way I treated Laurel. Bobby is too, but he’s a lot less vocal about it. Never thought Randy would be the guy I’d be making small talk with when hanging out with my close friends. “Chill for a second, would you?” I say and roll my eyes. I point at the brown suit he’s wearing. “Do that suit in charcoal gray. Gray will go better with this so-called theme, but it’s not so off the wall as the brown you’re wearing.”
Filthy Desires: A Romantic Suspense Collection Page 149