The sight of the parking lot sent his pulse rising. There were only three cars in it, including Josephine’s small, white Honda. Tension was building in his veins, as his pulse thudded in his ears. He parked his car next to hers, feeling his heart beat faster and faster by the second. All of a sudden, his tiredness was gone. It was as if he had just woken up from a good night’s sleep. He stepped out of his car, eagerly anticipating seeing her again. Tim caught a glimpse of a small object, out of the corner of his eye, as he brushed past her car. It was barely two inches behind her front, left wheel. Had it not been for the large lamppost to the left, he wouldn’t have seen it at all. It was a small, grey notebook. Most of it was submerged into the snow and covered under the shadow of the car. The only visible part was the upper left edge. Tim bent down and picked it up. He pushed the snow away from the cover, as a snowflake landed on his right palm.
2-23-2017
Dear diary,
I met the new security guard today. My God, he looks handsome. He’s tall, he has a manly, pointy face, high cheekbones, blue eyes and his voice makes me shiver. It’s so deep, so masculine… His name is Tim Shaw. He used to be a burglar. I’ve never met anyone dangerous. I always believed that I’d be repelled by the idea of being close to one, but I am not. However, he doesn’t look that dangerous. When you think of criminals, you get images of scarred, battered men. He is nothing like that. Tim could well be a swimmer or a model, only bigger and more muscular.
I now understand what my friends meant when they called a man ‘hot’. Never in my life had I met someone as attractive as him. That man has awakened my primal urges. Oh, how I would love it if he took me in his arms… The mere thought of that makes my body tingle. I really hope his duties keep him away from my lab. He could easily distract me and my time is limited. I need to stay focused on my research.
Tim’s hands began to shake uncontrollably and not due to the cold. Dying of curiosity to read her next entry, he turned the page with trembling fingers.
2-24-2017
Dear diary,
Today, I tried to ignore Tim, yet again. It is the only way for me to focus my wandering mind. He doesn’t like it, but I really do not have much choice. I have to resist the temptation.
Laura informed him on the subject of my research. I don’t know what happened between them in the hallway, but I do know that she came on to him later tonight. She knows I’m attracted to him. I can’t hide from her. She would do anything to win him over, just because I like him.
I had to tell him everything about Paul. It really came as a shock when he said that he would not reveal my secret. I needed to thank him for his discretion. What could be better than a kiss? I was so foolish to think that a kiss from him would be enough to satisfy my lust. I told him to stop but, deep down, I didn’t want him to. My God, I have never felt like that in my whole life. The way he touched me, the way that he made love to me just… swept me off my feet. And I would have loved to stay in his room and have him touch me again. But, I could not. I had to make him believe that we had to forget about it and staying there would make it all the more difficult. How could one say ‘no’ to such a thoughtful lover? I found it really hard to get out of there. Why did you have to be so good to me, Tim? You are sweeter than sin; I have to stop this now, before we both get in trouble…
Tim was stunned into stillness. The thoughts he had just read had sent his adrenaline into the ozone layer. In just a few lines, Josephine had managed to describe her feelings for him very well. Unable to take his eyes off of the notebook, he just stood there, as the snowfall quickened, the cold temperature causing frosty air from his mouth to cloud his vision. His fingers were turning blue, but his shock was so deep that his muscles couldn’t find the strength to move. He had no idea about the existence of more entries and he would not attempt to flip through the pages. A small hand in a black, woolen glove entered his line of sight, gently pulling the notebook out of his shaking grasp. Tim slowly rolled his gaze up. It was Josephine. He was so lost in his thoughts that he had failed to hear her footsteps on the snow. She had snowflakes in her long, brown hair and a desperate look on her beautiful face.
“Now you know…” The soft whisper that escaped her tore the silence, sending shivers down his spine, as their gazes met.
“I don’t believe this,” he uttered. “I just can’t.”
“Well, it’s true,” Josephine confessed. “I thought you’d left. Why did you come back?”
“For you…” Tim whispered. “I wanted to ask you a few things. I guess I don’t have to now.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she continued, her voice quivering as she looked deep into his eyes. “My diary, your questions… nothing matters. We can’t d…”
He didn’t give her time to finish her sentence. Tim wrapped his big, strong arms around her back, pulling her close. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head down to meet her lips and pressed his mouth against hers. Her gasp of surprise did not discourage him. Lost in his embrace, Josephine did not attempt to break free of his hold. Entwining her arms around his waist, she kissed him back, as he ran his hands up her back. Tim’s left hand stopped just before her hairline, while his right slipped into her hair. Savoring her gentle, passionate kiss, he knotted his fingers in her soft hair, feeling her warm breath on his skin. He trapped her upper lip between his own lips and gave it a short, sweet kiss, before pressing his forehead onto hers.
“I know what you were going to say,” Tim whispered, slowly opening his eyes. Several strands of her hair were falling across her face. He took his left hand off of her and used it to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I’ve heard it all before; I don’t want to hear it again.”
“Please, Tim,” she begged, the sound of her sweet, feminine voice overwhelming his senses. “Please, forget you ever knew me. Nothing good can come out of this.”
“You couldn’t be more wrong, doc,” he said, a bitter smile spreading across his face. “There’s more to life than just work.”
“I know,” Josephine sighed, nodding at the same time.
“I don’t think you do,” Tim claimed, his tone tranquil as he caressed her hair. “Will you let me show you?”
“What, Tim?” She whispered, as tears rose in her eyes. “Show me what?”
“I just need a few hours of your precious time,” he said, his voice lowering to a tender whisper. “One date: that’s all I’m asking.”
“God…” Josephine heaved a deeper sigh. “You’ve read my diary. You know how much I want to say ‘yes’ to you, but…”
“Then do it,” Tim interrupted, putting a little force in his voice. “Say ‘yes’. What do you have to lose?”
His hands trembled violently, as she squeezed her eyes shut. Josephine bit her lower lip; her attempt to fight back the tears soon proved hopeless. Two tears toppled over the edges of her eyes and began to roll down her face, making his heart melt. By now, it was beating so loudly that he could hear it. Tim sucked in a deep breath, eagerly anticipating her response, as a northern breeze tugged at her hair. A few seconds felt like an eternity.
“One date,” Josephine asked as she sniffled,
“Yes,” Tim replied.
“Ok…” she whispered, wiping her tears off her face, sending waves of joy up and down his body. “Just one date: you’ll leave me alone after that. Please; promise me.”
“Cross my heart,” he said with a grin. “Come on; let’s go.”
“Just follow me,” Josephine requested. “Where do you want to go? I live in Manchester; it’s quite close.”
“Alright,” Tim nodded. “Are there any dance clubs there?”
“Dance clubs?” There was a hint of tension in her voice. “You want to…”
“Take you dancing,” he finished her sentence. “Well?”
“I have no idea,” she smiled, embarrassingly. “I don’t go out much.”
“I’m sure we’ll find a place,” Tim maintained. “Lead the way.”
14
The fact that they would go to Manchester in separate cars seemed trivial to him. At least she had agreed to go out on a date with him and he couldn’t be happier. He was ecstatic, but, more than anything, he was filled with an overwhelming sense of relief. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. For the first time since he had met her, Tim had Josephine precisely where he wanted. In his mind, the hardest part was over. Now, it was up to him to convince her that he deserved more than just one date. So, he was going to do everything in his power to make this night special.
However, he soon realized their options in the small town of Manchester were quite limited. Tim was somewhat disappointed; he expected to find a city and ended up in a tiny town, a little larger than a village. There were only two dance clubs available. He let her choose; predictably, she selected the least crowded club, “Christine’s”, located on the west edge of town. It was small, made entirely out of wood and surrounded by tall, snowy trees. She parked her car behind his and quickly brushed past him, in an obvious attempt not to be seen together with him. But even that was not enough to spoil his mood.
Tim walked into the club. Bob Dylan’s “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” was playing from the speakers. The small, red, green and blue spotlights on the ceiling set the mood. Most of the tables were empty; there couldn’t have been more than twenty people in there at that time. The dance floor in the middle of the hall was empty as well. A bright light quickly caught his attention: a fireplace was in the upper left corner. Josephine was sitting at it; she even waved at him.
“You said this place was called ‘Manchester’.” He grinned, joining her. “I thought it’d be bigger.”
“It’s perfect for me.” She spoke in her usual, mellow tone. “The people are friendly and warm. Most of them have known each other for decades. They gossip a lot, too. That’s why I chose this over ‘The Northern Star’. It’s rather quiet, most of the time.”
“How do you know?” Tim teased her. “You don’t go out much.”
“I live just down the street from here.” Josephine smiled. “I’ve been in ‘The Northern Star’ once. It’s too noisy for me. Anyway, you never explained to me why you left.”
“Well, it was because I didn’t know how to handle you or Laura,” he explained. “We had sex that one night and then you wouldn’t even speak to me in the morning. It’s really frustrating, you know? Then there’s Laura,” he continued, taking a deep breath. “She’s just a pain in my ass.”
Unable to stop the fit of laughter that his words brought on, she burst out giggling, covering her mouth with her hand.
“I’m sorry,” Josephine got out between chuckles. “I didn’t mean to…”
“There’s no need to be sorry,” Tim interjected. “I’m just speaking the truth here. Sure, she’s a beautiful woman, but she’s still my boss. I’ve never been anybody’s pet.”
“I didn’t know you had so much pride,” she stated, as her smile fled.
“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he replied in a much more serious, candid tone. “That’s why I wanted to go out with you.”
“Is that the only reason you rejected her?” Josephine inquired; “your pride?”
“No;” he responded quickly. “I didn’t want to date her, because I’m looking at the only woman who holds all my interest.”
She dropped her gaze from his face, clearly embarrassed. Her sad expression was not a good sign, but Tim did not expect anything else. He leaned his arms on the table. Josephine’s right hand was wrapped around an empty glass. He gently pulled it away from her and took her hand in his palms. Feeling her warm skin, he waited patiently for her to address him.
“I may not know you well, but you don’t know me at all. I’ve done things of which I’m not proud,” Josephine’s voice was barely audible, as she stared down at the bottom of the glass. “We’re nothing alike, Tim,” she added, returning her gaze to his face. “Not to mention that we’re both going to lose our jobs if she finds out. I’m sorry; I can’t give you a chance.”
“Give me a chance?” He pointed to himself. “You need to give yourself a chance. You need to get out of the lab: meet people; live. You’re not living right now, Joey.”
“Please, don’t make this harder than it is already.” Her polite request forced him to stop talking altogether. At that moment, a familiar song introduction filled the air: Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight”. Tim jumped from his seat and offered his hand. Josephine reluctantly rose and gave him her own hand. They stepped onto the dance floor. With Eric Clapton’s bluesy voice in his ears, he pulled her closer. He put his right hand on her left hip side and grabbed her right hand. Tim held it up at shoulder-level, so that their arms were bent upward from the elbow. Josephine placed her left hand on his right shoulder, bending her head slightly towards him. Noticing the stiff look on her face, he leaned over her and whispered in her ear:
“It’s not against the law to relax.”
A smile of embarrassment formed on her face. Tim got lost in her glimmering, dark-brown eyes, as they warmed.
“You look wonderful: every day and every night,” he whispered. Her smile grew wider. He would speak no more; this was no time for words. She loosened her grip on his hand, as he smiled down at her. The tense expression left her face at last. Comfortable with her, Tim let his feelings roam and held her even closer, as they started their first dance ever …
It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear She'll put on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair And then she asks me, do I look all right? And I say, yes, you look wonderful tonight
We go to a party and everyone turns to see This beautiful lady that's walking around with me And then she asks me, do you feel all right? And I say, yes, I feel wonderful tonight
I feel wonderful because I see The love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all Is that you just don't realize how much I love you It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light I say, my darling, you were wonderful tonight Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight
The song was seconds away from being over, when Josephine tilted her face up. Tim couldn’t believe his eyes. She didn’t even give him time to angle his lips. Their mouths joined in a soft, gentle kiss. Her move had stunned him, but he would not let that opportunity go to waste. Sliding his hand up her side, he kissed her back. Her grip on his hand became tighter, as she squeezed his shoulder. Josephine arched up into him, sending sparks up and down his body. She laid a quick kiss on his chin and collapsed in his arms. Tim let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her lower back, savoring the moment.
“She’s alive,” he whispered, stroking her back.
“Alive?” She purred, opening her eyes.
“The girl in your notebook,” Tim laughed.
“She’s been here the whole time,” Josephine whispered, slowly leaning back. “And she could dance with you for hours.”
Her last sentence made his heart leap with joy. She was different; it appeared that she had followed his advice. Josephine was relaxed and, as he soon discovered, she meant every word. The two of them danced to more than ten songs that night. Despite Tim’s requests to get something to drink, she would not leave the dance floor or his warm embrace. She was enjoying every minute of this and so was he.
More than an hour later, the two of them returned to their table. Josephine was no longer the closed book he thought she was. Incredibly enough, she elaborated on her research: she talked about it passionately and, even though Tim did not have a clue about anatomy, he admired her conviction and her drive. Indeed, she was so adamant that she would succeed in finding a cure for Alzheimer’s that he didn’t want to interrupt her. Of course, as soon as she had finished her little speech, his head was spinning, but he didn’t mind. He wasn’t so interested in her research, but the sound of her soft voi
ce soothed him.
Nonetheless, the change in Josephine’s attitude was not what excited him the most that night. Very soon, she wanted to know more about him. Tim was stunned by her request; it was the last thing he expected to hear from her. After all, they had agreed on going out just once. He obliged, and much to his amazement, he had Josephine’s full attention. She kept gazing right into his eyes as he narrated. Two of his stories were filled with suspense, as he told her all about the times where he almost got arrested. He preferred to leave the tale of his arrest out; it brought back sad memories and reminded him of the fact that he would be on parole for a while. As time went by, Tim was unable to shake the feeling that she had changed her mind about dating him. He didn’t dare ask; they were having a wonderful time and putting her in a difficult position could ruin their night. Furthermore, he would not discuss her bold move to kiss him on the dance floor. She had maintained that people in Manchester gossip a lot and yet, she hadn’t minded kissing him in public.
“It was the heat of the moment,” he thought to himself, trying to make sense out of it. “Girls love compliments. Why would she be any different?”
As they made their way out of the bar, he couldn’t deny it to himself that the moment he had been dreading was very close. Their date was over. As of tomorrow, they would be hundreds of miles apart. He stopped at the top landing of the small staircase, unwilling to force any words out of his throat. All of a sudden, he felt her warm hand on his hand.
“The view from my back porch is intoxicating,” she whispered, raising every hair on his body. Tim abruptly turned his head to the right and looked down at her.
“Your back porch?” he asked. She murmured her assent. “I’d love to go see it.” Tim confessed, as his heart once again leapt with joy.
“Then, please, follow me. Again:” Josephine laughed. “Trust me, Tim. You’ve never seen anything like it.”
Filthy Desires: A Romantic Suspense Collection Page 181