To which the surprised Bones responds, “Why, Spock, I didn’t know you had one.”
In another episode, McCoy explains to Spock, “Medical men are trained in logic.”
And the wry Spock feigns surprise as he suggests, “Trained? Judging from you, I would have guessed it was trial and error.”
One of the most poignant moments in the original series took place at the end of the first-season episode “This Side of Paradise.” After being exposed to aphrodisiacal spores, Spock is able to express his love to Leila Kalomi, a woman he had known a few years earlier on Earth. But when the effect of the spores wears off, he is left once again without the ability to feel emotions. “I am what I am, Leila,” he explains to her logically. “And if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else’s.”
And as she wipes away her tears, Leila asks, knowing the answer, “Do you mind if I say I still love you?”
At the conclusion of the episode, the Enterprise has once again restored order on the planet, and the crew is making preparations to depart that galaxy. Spock has been unusually quiet, so Kirk finally points out, “We haven’t heard much from you about Omicron Ceti Three, Mr. Spock.”
In response, Spock says evenly, “I have little to say about it, Captain, except that for the first time in my life I was happy.”
It is difficult for people who aren’t actors to appreciate the talent it took to create a character that has become a part of American cultural history, the enigmatic Jay Gatsby of the twenty-third century, destined to be played and interpreted by other actors. In less capable hands, it could have been a very one-dimensional role, but he was able to create a dynamic inner life for his character. Of course, the real test for an actor is the way an audience relates to his or her character. Do they empathize with that character? Root for that character? Fear that character? Or do they laugh at that character and not care at all about his or her fate? It actually was surprising how many people found things in their own lives to relate to a thin, dour man with funny-looking ears, rather than the heroic captain, clearly a man of sterling virtue! While I certainly don’t know, I suspect the fact that Spock didn’t easily fit in with the crew was a feeling many people recognized. I remember during our first season, a young girl wrote to Spock through a fan magazine: “I know that you are half Vulcan and half human and you have suffered because of this. My mother is Negro and my father is white and I am told this makes me a half-breed.… The Negroes don’t like me because I don’t look like them, the white kids don’t like me because I don’t exactly look like them either. I guess I’ll never have any friends.”
Now, truthfully, I will never know for certain if Leonard actually wrote the response or if someone in the network’s publicity department did, but as I read this, I could hear Leonard’s calming voice, and knowing him as well as I did and watching his concern for other people over the many years, I strongly believe this response was his. While answering her, he filled in some of the blanks about Spock’s backstory and the childhood that shaped the being. Growing up on Vulcan of mixed races, he wrote, Spock
was very lonely and no one understood him. And Spock was heartbroken because he wasn’t popular. But it was only the need for popularity that was ruining his happiness.… It takes a great deal of courage to turn your back on popularity and go out on your own.…
Now, there’s a little voice inside each of us that tells us when we’re not being true to ourselves. We should listen to that voice.… Spock learned he could save himself from letting prejudice get him down. He could do this by really understanding himself and knowing his own value as a person. He found he was equal to anyone who might try to put him down—equal in his own unique way.
You can do this too, if you realize the difference between popularity and true greatness.… Spock said to himself: ‘OK, I’m not a Vulcan, so the Vulcans don’t want me. My blood isn’t pure Earth red blood. It’s green. And my ears—well, it’s obvious I’m not pure human. So they won’t want me either. I must do for myself and not worry about what others think of me who really don’t know me.’
Spock decided he would live up to his own personal value and uniqueness. He’d do whatever made him feel best about himself.… He said to himself:… ‘I will develop myself to such a point of excellence, intelligence and brilliance that I can see through any problems and deal with any crisis. I will become such a master of my own abilities and career that there will always be a place for me.’ … And that’s what he did.
FIVE
The relationship between Kirk and Spock remained considerably warmer than that of Shatner and Nimoy, but they had better writers. Throughout that first season, Leonard and I remained respectful, polite, and professional, but I don’t remember ever even having a conversation about our personal lives. It was odd; we had a tremendous amount in common, but we hadn’t found a reason to explore it. It wasn’t just me; this was the first time in Leonard’s career that he really was a star, his name was painted on his dressing room door, and it was clear that he was enjoying success after seventeen years of being what’s-his-name, that dark-and-gloomy-looking guy.
Generally, we went our own ways, meeting on the set. But whatever I was feeling, it all came to a head very early one morning. Spock’s ears had become a popular story, and our makeup artist, Freddy Phillips, who had used his own money to get the second set of ears made, was receiving a lot of well-deserved attention. So when TV Guide wanted to do a photo story about making up Spock, Leonard agreed. But no one bothered to tell me about it.
It took as long as three hours to apply Leonard’s makeup, while mine took about fifteen minutes, so he was always in makeup hours before I was. I arrived at work one morning, and as I sat in my chair, reviewing my lines, making my usual wonderfully clever remarks, getting ready for the day, I noticed a photographer snapping pictures. I had no idea who he was or how he had gotten permission to invade this actor’s sanctuary. I believe I had approval of still photographs taken on the set. I wasn’t especially excited about the possibility that candid shots might be published. So I asked who he was and what he was doing there. In my memory, I asked politely. There may be another side to that story. When I found out, I called the producers to complain. Soon, someone came down and asked the photographer to leave. There, situation settled.
Except it wasn’t. This was an important opportunity for Leonard. After seventeen years of working in obscurity, one of the most popular magazines in America was featuring him in a story. Leonard decided he wasn’t going to continue being made up until the photographer returned. When that didn’t happen, he got up and confronted me in my trailer.
“Did you order the photographer out?” he asked.
“Order” seemed like a harsh word, but not an inaccurate one. “I did,” I admitted. “I didn’t want him there.”
Years later, Leonard remembered this conversation very clearly. He told me, “It was approved by Roddenberry. It was approved by the head of the studio. It was approved by publicity.”
To which he remembers me responding, “Well, it wasn’t approved by me.” Harsh words, and I must have been a lot more envious than I remember being at the time. But in my defense, actors can be very defensive when they believe they are protecting their careers. That’s not much of a defense, but it’s the best I’ve got. And years later, if I really remembered saying this, I certainly would have regretted it.
Leonard stood his ground, saying, “You mean to tell me that I’ve got to get approval from you to have my picture taken?” I do see the question mark at the end of that last sentence, but I suspect Leonard did not intend it to be a question. George Takei described Leonard’s demeanor as “cold rage.” He went to his dressing room, the one with his name painted on the door.
Several executives came down from wherever executives come down from and met privately with Leonard. Then this group came to my dressing room. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast, all in costume and re
ady to go to work, instead went to the commissary for breakfast. When they returned, the set was still dark. The executives were shuttling back and forth trying to establish a détente. The cast filled the morning doing nothing, until someone suggested that they take an early lunch. So they went back to the commissary. With the tight production schedule we were forced to maintain because of our limited budget, this constituted an expensive crisis. Roddenberry finally came down and negotiated a peace—I have no idea what it was—but we all went back to work.
Looking back on that particular event, I don’t think I truly understood the source of his anger until many years later. And I should have. Just being in this profession I should have. An actor is the most dominated person in show business. Producers hire and fire based on who knows what. Writers put words in the actor’s mouth. Directors tell them where to move. Critics put the responsibility for the end product entirely on the actor, whose performance may be the result of bad writers working with a poor director. So just imagine what can happen when an actor finally gets in a position of power. There are some people in this profession who take out the frustrations that have built up on other people. That wasn’t Leonard. But Leonard had spent seventeen years going from job to job, like we all do, wondering: What am I going to do next? How am I going to pay the rent? How am I going to pay for my children’s education? What do I do when I get older? Will I be able to age into character parts? And then Leonard found a home in Star Trek. He found a place to excel. Finally, he had a job that was going to get him attention, a job that inevitably would lead to other jobs. And then this guy Shatner gets in the way of all that for his own reasons.
No wonder Leonard was upset. Had I been cognizant of any of this, I would have been different; I don’t know how, but I would have been much more there, I would have been understanding and supportive, but who considers all those things when they are in the middle of an unpleasant confrontation?
It did not help matters that Leonard remained aloof between takes. He certainly didn’t join in the casual camaraderie usually found on a set. Generally, an actor puts on his or her character when the camera starts rolling. We’re wearing the costumes, we’ve got the makeup on, and we ease into the voice and mannerisms for the scene. When the scene is over, we’re ourselves in costume; in those days, it meant having a cigarette and a cup of coffee, a little friendly conversation, what’d you do over the weekend, how was your son’s football game, and then back to work. At the end of the day, it’s back to real life.
But that didn’t work for Leonard. It took such an enormous emotional investment in being Spock that he didn’t escape it, even when the bright lights were dimmed. There’s very little downtime when making a TV show; you finish one scene and move right on to the next one. It’s wham-bam for twelve hours; you have ten pages to get done that day, you’re on-screen, you’re offscreen. Next, c’mon, let’s go, great, next. Either Leonard or I, or both of us, were pretty much in every scene. Leonard didn’t have the time to put on Spock and take him off, so between scenes, he stayed very much in character, which meant keeping a distance from the rest of us who were relaxing. We all would be sitting around, and I would be entertaining my fellow actors with jokes about two actors arguing—“I’m playing nothing, so you can’t”—and everyone would laugh with recognition—except Leonard. He would sit staring at me and rolling the joke over in his mind, analyzing the humor, parsing the language, digesting the deeper meaning. “I found it very difficult to turn it off and on,” he told me. “So stepping out of the set, sitting in a chair waiting for the next setup, I couldn’t shift out of the character.”
It wasn’t just during the workday, he explained, “I was in that character more hours during the week than I was in my own. I spent more time as Spock than as Nimoy, twelve hours a day five days a week. That’s most of your waking life.”
That was beyond my understanding. Maybe that was because our approach to the work was so different; at the end of the day, I was able to shed Kirk or T. J. Hooker or Denny Crane or any of the many other characters I became and resume my adventures as Bill Shatner.
In fact, an odd thing happened: Leonard began adapting some of Spock’s characteristics into his own life. He became very comfortable with Spock’s clear, precisely punctuated speech pattern, his thoughtful pauses before responding, and his broadly accepting rather than judgmental social attitudes. “I found them comforting,” he said, “and by osmosis they became part of me.” Decades after the show ended, he told a journalist, “My personality changed. I became more rational. I became more logical. I became more thoughtful. I became less emotional.… I could feel it especially on the weekends.”
It probably was not a huge transition. As long as I knew Leonard, he always was somewhat restrained in behavior and emotion. He wasn’t someone who had great, loud bursts of unrestrained exuberance. He was thoughtful, calm, and maybe even a little contained. I don’t think anyone ever described Leonard Nimoy as boisterous. There is a photograph that his son, Adam, found while producing and directing a documentary about his father. It was a picture of Leonard with his close friend, writer Don Siegel. Siegel is whispering in Leonard’s ear, and whatever he has said, Leonard’s head is thrown back, and he is laughing hysterically. “It was very infrequent to see my dad cut loose like that,” Adam said. “It’s not even a very good photo, but it’s so interesting to capture that moment because we just didn’t see a lot of that from him, that kind of joy, unbridled and unchecked. He was very much like his parents, who were very reserved, who held things in check. They were very unemotive, very even-keeled, and Dad was that way as well.”
Now that doesn’t mean Leonard didn’t have a sense of humor, but he didn’t tell jokes as much as make astute humorous comments. He was fascinated by technology, although not especially knowledgeable about cutting-edge advances. He certainly did not have any of Spock’s expertise, but scientists loved to show their work to him. At one point, for example, he was visiting Caltech, and several brilliant young scientists were thrilled to explain their projects to him. I suspect Leonard had some vague idea what they were talking about, but he certainly didn’t understand the intricacies. Leonard liked to tell the story, “They would look at me and ask, ‘What do you think?’”
Leonard nodded thoughtfully, then very quietly and very sagely replied, “You’re on the right track.”
He also loved being involved in pranks and practical jokes, whether he was the pranker or the prankee! Actors often play pranks on each other as a means of dealing with the boredom on a set between takes. Once, I remember, our target was Dee Kelley. Everybody loved Dee Kelley. He was a large and compassionate human being, as well as a fine actor. But one night while we were shooting, he had made the mistake of confiding in me that he was somewhat concerned that his memory was slipping. Naturally, I was supportive and compassionate; naturally. In the commissary the next morning, I enlisted Leonard’s assistance. When DeForest put a bagel in the toaster, I whispered to Leonard, “Occupy Dee’s attention.” Leonard began singing a song from Man of La Mancha, and Dee turned to watch him. I unloaded the toaster, putting the bagel away. After a moment or two, DeForest walked over the toaster, the toaster popped up—and there was nothing in it.
Hmm. He thought about it a second, then sliced a second bagel and put it in the toaster. This time Leonard called over to him and asked him how he liked this song, then sang a song from Fiddler on the Roof. I pushed up the toaster and shoved the bagel in my mouth. A minute later, Dee came back, popped up the toaster again—and took a deep breath. He stared at the toaster, trying to reconcile the facts as he remembered them. Naturally, he didn’t want to say anything to anyone, but it appeared his greatest fear was coming true. He glanced around furtively, hoping no one would notice his distress. And then his eyes settled on me, and he saw me choking on a bagel, trying desperately to keep myself from laughing—and shook his head in acknowledgment that he’d been fooled.
Arguably my greatest prank involved
Mr. Nimoy. By the end of our first season, we had forged our own bonds. We had become united—mostly against the production company and the network. Leonard and I had worked out our differences, and while we hadn’t yet become friends, we certainly were getting along. So it was a ripe time for me to instigate. The soundstage on which we worked was quite a distance from the studio commissary. As we only got a half-hour break for lunch, when it was time, we all raced to get there as rapidly as possible. Often, there was a long line being served lunch, a line that moved slowly, so if you were on the end of that line, there was a chance you would go hungry that day.
I had been on the track team in school. I was pretty fast, especially for an actor. Leonard was less athletic than I was, and although he had long legs, he did not move nearly as fast. Perhaps those ears caught the wind and held him back. But the result was that I got my lunch every day, and sometimes Leonard did not. But Leonard was a very resourceful man; he figured things out. One day, lunch was called, and I dashed outside and started running—and seconds later Leonard came speeding past me on a bicycle, leaving me far behind. When I got to the commissary, he was already being served—and my memory is that he looked at me triumphantly. He later described it as “the logical thing to do.” But it was a victory that could not be allowed to stand.
I felt he had showed a disregard for the unspoken rules of fair play by employing mechanical means. His bike was easy to find; he had written his name on it in large letters. With the assistance of other members of the cast and crew, who also did not like to be outsmarted or outsprinted, we tied a rope to his bike and hoisted it into the rafters. Two electricians trained spotlights on it. At lunchtime, he dashed outside—to discover his bike was gone. When he complained, I suggested, “Come back inside and turn your head to the heavens. Look to the stars!” And so he looked up and saw his bike in the flies of the stage. Everybody was laughing. Well, okay, not quite everybody.
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