He was even in a motorcycle gang, for goodness' sake. Or, at least, he was in the process of joining one when he and Riley first got together, and now I'm pretty sure he's a full-fledged member.
And then there was Riley, working at a swanky, successful law firm, never having had a rough edge to her at any point in her life. I couldn't figure it out.
But something happened. She changed for the better. I didn't think she had needed to, but I had to admit that she had. And that a big part of that change was her relationship with Jensen.
She left that law firm, which she said was engaging in unethical business practices, and began working for a nonprofit representing other veterans like Jensen. She seemed happier, more carefree. And absolutely in love with Jensen.
I had no choice but to approve wholeheartedly of their union. And then when Drew came along, it seemed there had been an even bigger purpose to their meeting.
Because that kid is just so cute and so smart and so good— despite the way he's been scowling at Caleb all night, which is understandable since Caleb is being rather bratty— that there could be no other parents meant to be his parents in the entire world, except for Riley and Jensen.
"I was just telling Brynn that I look ridiculous dressed as a loofah," Riley says now.
"You're the sexiest ridiculous loofah I've ever seen," Jensen says. "Hold on, let me put on my part of our joint costume."
He reaches over to the hallway closet and pulls out a cardboard box that's been painted white and has the word "Dove" written on it. He puts it over his head as both Caleb and Drew laugh.
"Now I match my beautiful loofah here."
I laugh along with the boys. It is pretty funny that Jensen is dressed as a bar of soap. Obviously he's a softie underneath his tough exterior, and Riley has transformed him from a hardened Special Forces operative to a loving and even slightly goofy husband and father who insists on wearing crazy couples' costumes on Halloween.
I'm glad that Riley found her happy ending even though it was where I, and even she, least expected it to be. And I'm happy that she and Jensen are still so gaga over each other. They're what every married person— and co-parent— aspires to be.
But seeing them like this reminds me of what I don't have. And what Caleb doesn't have.
I have to pay close attention to applying my eyeliner, so that I don't screw it up. And so that I don't dwell too much on what my friend has and I don't. The last thing I want to do is be jealous tonight, or sad. I just want to go out and have a nice time with my best friend and her husband.
"Mmm mmm mmm," I hear Jensen say from the foyer, with exaggerated cheesiness.
I peer past the bathroom door to see him fake smothering Riley and Drew with kisses.
"I just couldn't wait to get home and kiss my wife and son. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm."
"Ewww gross," I tell them, playfully. "Keep your family- sized displays of public affection to yourself."
I turn back to the mirror to begin applying mascara, even though I can never do it right. My eyelashes always end up looking like huge, ugly spiders. But I guess that's fitting tonight, for Halloween.
"Don't feel left out," Jensen tells me. "Because I wasn't about to let you be the fifth wheel tonight. I have a little surprise for you."
"What?" I ask, as I squint at myself in the mirror, trying to determine if the eyelashes- turned- spider legs above my right eye, to which I'd just applied the mascara, are too long. I've taken off my glasses to be able to apply the makeup, and I haven't put my contacts in yet, so I can't easily tell.
"Geez Jensen," Riley says, and I can tell she's slapping him playfully on the arm, even though I can't see it. "You were supposed to make it a little subtler."
"Make what a little subtler?"
I have a bad feeling in my stomach about whatever it is they're talking about. It's almost as bad as when I was watching the news about the clowns.
Suddenly, I hear the screen door swing open yet again and then Caleb says, "Mo-to-cycle man."
I'm going to kill Riley if she's trying to set me up with someone from Jensen's motorcycle club. She totally knows that's not my type of guy. And just because she was pleasantly surprised by Jensen doesn't mean I'll feel the same.
I turn around to look, trying to control my annoyance and even anger at Riley for being part of this without letting me in on it beforehand.
"Hey there," says a man dressed in jeans and a motorcycle jacket, looking strangely out of place compared to the costumes that Riley, Jensen and I are wearing.
I think he's nodding at them, or me, but I can't really tell without my glasses or contacts on. From what I can tell though, he's the hottest guy I've ever seen.
"Brynn, come out here and meet my friend," Jensen says. "Don't be rude."
"Honey!" Riley protests, but then laughs. "She's just a little shy..."
It's not that, I want to tell her. I just happen to have only one eyelash covered in spider- lash mascara. And I don't want to be set up with anyone in a motorcycle club.
Especially someone who's not even wearing a costume for a costume party, I think, as I put my glasses on. But I forget that thought almost as soon as I think it.
Because now I can clearly see what I'd already thought was true. This "motorcycle man" is the hottest guy I've ever seen.
Chapter 4 – Brynn
After a few seconds that feel like years, in which I unsuccessfully try to compose myself, I finally decide to come out of the bathroom. It's not like I can stay in here all night.
And damn, Jensen's friend is fine. I just need to get a closer look at him, and I'll get it out of my system.
At least that's what I tell myself as I approach him. But even getting a little closer to him makes me want to fan myself.
He's tall— at least six feet— and he's rocking a unique combination of black hair and blue eyes. His chest is broad and muscular, and his biceps and triceps are so defined that it looks like he lives at a gym.
His smile is both mysterious and mischievous as he watches me approach.
"Well hello there, doll," he says. "I'm Larson Campbell."
"I'm... Brynn," I manage to choke out, embarrassed that I seem to have momentarily forgotten my own name. "Brynn Elliot."
"And this is Caleb," I quickly add, as if to say, See? I've got a kid. You look like the type that likes to have fun, but I can't have much fun, because I've got a very serious responsibility. So be on your way now.
Despite my earlier panic at seeing myself in a skirt that only a 20 year old should be wearing, I know I'm not an unattractive woman. Guys have complimented me on my curves and my hourglass shape. But they've also darted away from me as fast as they can, as soon as they find out I have a kid.
So I like to let them know up front, and in this case, I don't have much of a choice, considering that said kid is literally standing right in front of Larson, looking up at him like he's the best thing he's ever seen. Much like I am.
"Hello there, Caleb," Larson says, bending down and patting him on his head. "What's that truck you've got there?"
Caleb hands it over willingly, causing Drew to scowl. He's been trying to grab that truck all afternoon without success, only to watch Caleb easily hand it over to someone else now.
"Dump truck," Caleb says proudly.
"It sure is," Larson agrees. "Beep beep beep. Grrrrrrr!"
He makes truck noises as he drives the toy vehicle back and forth on his strapping chest muscles. It's simultaneously the hottest and most adorable thing I've ever seen, and I try hard not to look as swoony as I feel.
"I was just telling Larson here how he should come to the party with us," Jensen says. "In fact, I've been trying to convince him all week. But he says he doesn't do costume parties. And you can't get in without a costume. So, guess he's just SOL. Isn't that a shame, Brynn?"
Jensen fake pouts while Riley playfully swats at him again.
I don't know whether I feel relieved that the temptation has been remo
ved from me, or upset that Larson obviously just came here to tease me.
But before I have time to dwell on it, there's another knock at the door and a woman's voice saying, "We're here! Finally!"
Riley opens it to her sister-in-law Whitney.
"So sorry I'm late," Whitney says, as she helps a little boy through the door. "James took forever to go down for his nap, so of course he just now woke up, right when I was hoping he'd go to sleep for the night so I can watch some sleazy reality TV while you guys are off gallivanting at your Halloween party."
"I'm the one who's sorry, Whitney," Riley says, taking the diaper bag and overnight bag from her hands. "You really don't have to..."
"Watch the kids tonight," Whitney finishes for Riley. "I know. But I want to. You know me, though. Always liking to complain, even about things I want to do."
They both laugh, and I feel another pang of jealousy.
"Hello, Brynn," Whitney says, giving me a hug. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in ages."
"I know," I tell her, hugging her back and smelling her pleasantly scented perfume. I always forget to wear any. "Riley and I were just saying that we haven't seen each other since her wedding. And that's when I met you and haven't even seen you since then. But I hear that your own wedding to Harlow was great. Riley shared some pictures on Facebook, and it looked absolutely beautiful"
Whitney married Jensen's brother Harlow. It was a double wedding in which Jensen's brother Ramsey also married his wife Monica.
"Thanks," Whitney says. "I can't believe Harlow had to work tonight, but I'm happy to watch the kids since he and I can't go with you guys."
I can't help but feel hit with multiple reasons to be jealous today, all staring me in the face. I like Riley's sisters-in-law and I'm happy that she has close family members. I know logically it makes sense that Riley would be best friends with them too.
But she and I had been friends first. And now I never see her. I know that's more my fault than hers, though. I rarely make it home and I can't expect her to come all the way to visit me when her family and life are here.
Plus, I've never seen her be so cozy with another female before and I don't really have any other friends besides her. I'm so busy working all the time and caring for Caleb that I have no time to go out and meet people or do things with the acquaintances that I do have.
Not to mention the fact that Riley has all of this love in her life and I only have Caleb. As I think about my little guy in his monkey costume, though, I know that having him is enough.
And I'm grateful to have Riley as such a long-standing friend. I tell myself to stop the pity party and get excited for this Halloween party.
"Caleb, say hello to Miss Whitney," I say.
I look down at my feet— where usually Caleb, being a rather shy, clingy boy, is perpetually hiding— but he's not there.
"Oh," I turn around and notice that he's chasing after Larson, who has gone into the kitchen to make himself a drink.
I guess Larson really has a talent for bringing Caleb out of his shell somehow.
"I'll have a drink too," Jensen calls out to Larson. "Whiskey on the rocks."
"I know what you drink, dude," Larson says, smiling. "We only spend half our waking hours down at Billy's."
Oh my God.
I try hard not to roll my eyes. Back in law school, Billy's was the local dive bar, known for its bikers, beers, and brawls.
Some things never change.
I tell myself that this Larson guy is definitely not my type. But then I look at his ass as he pours the drink, and I have to try to convince myself of that fact a little harder.
"Oh crap," I say. "I need to finish putting on my makeup."
I can't believe I'm still standing here with only one spider eye. From the way that Larson looked me up and down approvingly when we just met, I don't think he noticed or cared. But I've always been shy and I suddenly feel incredibly self-conscious about every little thing.
And who wouldn't, around Larson? The guy's pouring a drink in Riley's kitchen while causing my panties to get noticeably wet. Which is the last thing I need when wearing this damn short skirt.
I can't seem to stop staring. This guy is so ripped he could lift me with one finger.
I can't help but feel as if I'm on the verge of doing something really stupid. Like begging and pleading this stranger with the pecs so obvious they're protruding from the white tee shirt under his leather vest to take me to this party, and fuck my brains out afterwards.
"Oh crap!" Caleb repeats the word I just used in reference to needing to finish applying my makeup.
"Honey, don't say that word," I tell him, cringing in Riley's direction. "That's just a word Mommy says when she's feeling frustrated."
And flushed, I think. And hot and bothered.
"Mama. Crap," Caleb says.
"Hey little man, I'll teach you a new and cool word," Larson says, peering down at Caleb. "But only if you promise to use it instead of that other word. Deal?"
He holds out his hand, and Caleb shakes it very solemnly, suddenly looking twenty-three instead of not even three years old.
How does this guy do this? I wonder. Turn my kid into a decent little human being instead of a terrorizing toddler monster?
Larson looks at me and winks. And I want to melt down into the floor. Or lie down on it and order him to get on top of me.
"Okay," Larson tells Caleb. "The word is capola!"
Caleb cracks up.
"Ca-po-la!" he repeats.
"Exactly," says Larson. "Capola, capola, capola. You got it? That's a word you only say when you're frustrated. And you say it instead of the no- no word your mommy told you not to use."
"Only ca-po-la," Caleb agrees, holding his hand out again for Larson to shake, which he does.
Holy capola.
I'm in big trouble. I have to remember not to do anything stupid. Like hook up with this rough and tumble biker who just taught my son manners after undressing me with his eyes.
"Jensen," Riley says, interrupting my thoughts. "I think we should all make sure to stick together tonight and look out for each other. Brynn and I saw this really weird and scary breaking news report earlier, about these clowns. I know it sounds ridiculous, but...."
"Yeah, we heard about them too," says Jensen. "Down at Billy's. Some guys in Desert Dogs were talking about organizing a search to figure out who is doing this crap and how to stop it."
"Capola!" Caleb shouts.
"Good boy," I tell him, as Jensen says "sorry" for using the word "crap."
"No problem," I say back to Jensen. "Clearly I slip up too, and I'm his mom. But anyway…"
"Desert Dogs is Jensen and Larson's motorcycle club and it has a mission statement about protecting the community," Riley explains to me, for which I'm grateful because I didn't know what the guys' bar talk has to do with a clown search. "It's good to have them on our side."
"Definitely," I agree, taking another look at Caleb in his monkey costume as he's clearly idolizing Larson.
Even though biker guys have never been my type, I'm glad to know that they'll protect us tonight. And as Larson winks at me, I have a feeling that's not the only thing he'll be doing to me tonight.
Chapter 5 – Larson
Well, fuck.
I can't believe I'm on my bike headed to a fucking costume store.
All because of a fucking woman I just met.
But the first thing I thought when I saw Brynn Elliot was: I guess I'll be getting a costume and going to this stupid Halloween party.
And I don't do costumes. I don't do Halloween parties.
But I want to do Brynn.
I can't get over how fucking hot she is.
Jensen had told me but I didn't believe him. I thought he was just trying to set me up with Riley's poor lonely friend who was in town for the evening and didn't want to be an extra wheel.
But had I known he was telling the truth, I would have gone to Party Spirit right a
way and picked out the most ridiculous costume imaginable. Even though I think the whole costume party thing is so fucking juvenile and cheesy.
And it wasn't only the Halloween party thing that had me resistant to going out tonight. It was the thought of going out in general.
I don't really get out much anymore. I definitely don't date.
Not since that night two years ago when I lost everything.
I fuck a lot, sure. I fuck pretty much anything that walks. She doesn't have to be a looker. In fact, it's better if she isn't. Because then she doesn't remind me of her.
But it's okay if she is a looker, of course. I just keep the lights off anyway. I fuck her—whoever she is— hard and good, sometimes two or three of them at once.
They line up for me because they've heard about what a stud I am. How good I am in bed. What a big cock I have. How I'm so rough and strong I'll throw them over my shoulder, carry them upstairs, and fuck them hard and fast against the wall.
It's all true. I don't think I've ever disappointed any of them. And there have been a lot of them. So many that I've lost count. And it doesn't even matter.
Because what these women don't know is that being with them feels as good for me as it does for them. But not in the same way. Not in the way that they think.
It takes my mind off things. Off of her. Off of them. Off of what I had and what I lost.
Sure, it's just a temporarily relief, and then it's back to reality, until the next one comes along. But it's better than nothing. Better than the darkness and despair of being alone, absolutely alone with nothing and no one to fill the void.
But when I saw Brynn, I felt something different for the first time in a long time. Something that reminded me of life, of fullness, of hope.
I push that thought away now. Because I don't want it to be true.
I can't have her. She's only in town for one night. Jensen had made that clear, thinking I'd be happy about it.
And usually he'd be right. I don't like to have to see them again. It's easier to just get my fill and move on.
Haunted Heart: A Halloween Bad Boy Romance Novella Page 2