by Stacy Borel
I made the decision I wasn’t going to go seconds before the class. I felt a pang of guilt about skipping my first college class. I felt like I was going to hell for it or worse, that I’d fail and my parents would be called and told I was being kicked out. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but skipping felt like the worst thing I could do as a college student. Drastic times called for drastic measures. I had to come up with a plan of action. I had no idea if tonight was a date, something super casual and he was inviting a ton of people over as well, or if he was still doing things to prove his friendship. The best person I could ask was none other than my roommate; I had zero experience in these mattes and she could lead me in the right direction. Besides, she was officially seeing Bishop now. I had to admit, they made a super cute couple.
When I got back from class, I found her outside in a pair of shorts, and a bikini top, sunbathing while guys walked by with gaping mouths. I had a feeling she wasn’t even aware of the stares. Or, more likely, she didn’t really care. It was the middle of October and while most other states were just beginning to bundle up and deal with cooler weather, southern Louisiana was still hot and humid. For a girl from the north, she was soaking this up.
As I approached her, she looked up from the book she was reading. It was some romance novel. A guy with long hair blowing in the wind and on his knees while he looked up at some seductress, who’s thigh he was gripping. I blinked. Maybe I should be reading trash novels and take notes.
“What’s up, Buttercup?”
That relaxed nerves I hadn’t realized were tense. “Hey. How’s the sun?”
“Erm… hot.” She giggled at my awkwardness. “How’s class?”
I sighed and plopped down on the grass next to her. “I don’t know. I barely paid attention.”
She set her book down. “Oh man, this sounds serious. Studious Hadley couldn’t pay attention. What’s going on?”
She teased, but I knew once I told her, she would jump into action. “Well, I got a text two days ago.”
“Wrigley.”
“Mhmm. I’m not sure what to think about it.”
“What about it?”
“He told me to come over and have some pizza.”
She stared at me blankly. “Okay… and?”
I looked her straight in the eyes. “And? And what does that mean?” Where was my roommate who would be circling me like a shark by now saying we needed to prepare?
“It means he wants you to come over for pizza. What is it supposed to mean?”
I sighed. I guess I really was looking too far into it.
“Let me see the texts.” She held her hand out. “It depends on the tone of his texts, I guess.”
I dug into my back pocket and pulled out my phone. Opening to his texts, I watched as her eyes scanned the screen.
“Hmmm, now that’s interesting.”
“What?”
“This part right here.” She pointed. “Why did he wait to respond?”
“You noticed that too?”
“Yeah, I was curious about the times. Was he pausing because you might have a date and he wasn’t okay with that, or was he pausing because he was busy doing something? Seems weird to me.”
Her dissecting my text messages was making me antsy. At least I wasn’t the only one who noticed. But did it honestly matter? At this point, I’d rather grab my phone and go upstairs. I really needed to sit down and try to learn what I missed being off in La La Land in algebra. Even a bath sounded good right about now.
“Well, no sense in getting overly excited.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself by saying that. How about we play it safe?”
“Meaning....”
She rolled her eyes like I was missing the obvious. “I mean, dress nice but not overly dressed. Light make up will seem casual but good for any circumstance, and I can put soft waves in your hair, but make it look like it wasn’t done just for you going over there.” She flipped her wrist up with my phone on her palm. “And wah-lah, there’s your solution.”
I hadn’t even thought about what I was going to wear. This was all too much detail. I’d never been on a date before so I didn’t know what it entailed besides what I’d seen when my mom would get ready to go out with my dad. And, of course, what I’d seen from Aurora since she’d started dating Bishop.
Unlike my mom, she was a bit more strategic about what she wore. She wanted to impress Bishop but still be herself. I wish some things were instinctive or something I wished I’d had experience with it, but I hadn’t. I’d never been on a date. I’d never even kissed a boy. And that one time in kindergarten when I kissed a boy on the cheek as a dare didn’t count. It wasn’t even comparable. All of this was new.
“You make it seem so easy.” I looked down at my hands, discouraged.
She did what my mom would’ve done if she’d seen me looking like this. She brushed a few strands of hair out of my face and said, “Because it is. Overthinking is what kills things. Hadley, you’re beautiful, you do know that, right?”
I wasn’t her, or Claire, or Natalie from high school. But I didn’t think I was ugly. “Sure.”
“Be brave, hold your head high, and demand that people see you for who you are. That doesn’t mean you have to storm into a room and be loud and crazy. It means, you wear who you are proudly. When you do that, they’ll take notice.” She paused and smiled. “And by they, I mean guys. You act like the quiet wallflower that doesn’t want to be noticed, you won’t be. We all put out vibes, no matter what we look like or how we are dressed. If you want to be seen and you feel good about you, he will see it.”
I nodded and wiped a stray tear I hadn’t noticed had formed. “Think you can work with this?”
She laid her head on my shoulder and laughed. “Yes, I can definitely work with this.”
Her and I started giggling when a couple guys walked by and whooped and called out “Get a room!” I looked at her and busted out in full belly laughs. I was handing it all over to her. For the first time in my life, I was trusting someone other than my parents.
This whole thing seemed like a conundrum. I shouldn’t want to impress a boy who has paid no mind to me for the better part of the last fifteen years of my life because there were other people around who dictated what he did. He may say he makes his own choices, but let’s face it, like the rest of us, society can influence who we are and what we do. It says don’t hang out with the unpopular girl who is slightly weird, so you don’t. And like right now, it says dress up for a potential that maybe the handsome guy will notice you and see what he’s been missing. Seems beyond silly, but it is what it is.
I allowed Aurora to dress me and do my hair and makeup like she’d promised. When I looked in the mirror on Friday afternoon, nearly two hours before I was supposed to be at Wrigley’s, even I couldn’t deny she had done a bang-up job. I leaned toward the mirror to see a girl I recognized, but also one that was blinking back at me with curiosity. I started from the top to the bottom, my bewildered eyes scanning the image in the full-length mirror.
I took a step closer to inspect myself. Bright eyes framed by long black lashes blinked when I did. Cheerful pink cheekbones were highlighted with a touch of blush. Full lips shimmered with a sparkle of nude gloss. And my body was covered in an off the shoulder black eyelet top, and white cut off shorts that flirted with the idea of being slightly too short. Aurora had lent me her tan strappy sandals that laced up at the ankle and drew attention to my tan legs.
I had to admit, I felt pretty. Pretty enough to want to take a selfie just so I could remember this moment. One where there was still hope in my eyes and a possibility that Wrigley wasn’t as stupid as I knew he might end up being tonight.
“Damn, I really out do myself sometimes.” Aurora said, beaming at me and admiring her work.
I turned around and grinned at her. “I’m not really a hugger, but I could literally hug you right now.”
“So you like it?”
“Like it? I love it!” I exclaimed. I stopped for a moment then turned back to the mirror. “For the first time in my life, I don’t just feel like normal Hadley. I feel… pretty.”
She stepped up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. “Hadley, you’re always pretty. Tonight, you are gorgeous. And that guy of yours would be blinder than Stevie Wonder if he doesn’t notice.”
I grinned. She was right. I wanted to deny it because that’s what was natural to me. But she was right. If I passed by myself walking on the street, I know I would have given me a compliment. I straightened my shoulders and Aurora dropped her hands. I was walking into tonight with so much more confidence than I’d thought possible. Tonight, I was ready to be noticed. If this didn’t work, then I knew I’d done what I could to open Wrigley’s eyes. If he blew me off, then I would officially quit this silly lifelong crush and move on knowing I had, at least, tried.
“I’m ready.” I walked over to my bed, grabbed my phone and started towards the door.
“Go get em’ tiger.” She beamed. “Text me if you need anything.”
“I will! Oh, and thanks for letting me borrow your car.”
“Welcome!” She hollered before the door shut behind me.
The night air was stiff and hot. I took a deep breath in, but the humidity prevented me from inhaling all the way. I needed to get in the car and turn on the air conditioning before this stickiness killed my new curls. Thanks Louisiana for the heat. Once in the car, I pulled up Wrigley’s address and drove the whopping four minutes. It would have taken me fifteen if I’d chosen to walk. I would have, but, again, the curls.
I pulled up in front of Wrigley’s house and froze. This was it. I was stepping foot into his space. Space that wasn’t his parents, and I wasn’t invited because it was a mutual family gathering. I wasn’t asked over because friends were going to be there. I was simply asked because he seemed to want me there. That thought sent a flurry of butterflies through my stomach. It was scary, and that’s okay. My life had taken a crazy turn over the last few months. One I never saw coming, and it was exciting.
While I wanted answers about where this friendship was going, if it was going anywhere, I realized I was thrilled with the idea of the unknown. When I still lived at home, I’d settled with the routine and knowing exactly where my life was going to go. I had known what I’d wanted to be when I grew up, I had known I wanted to be at this school, and that I wanted to settle down a few towns over from Athens where I could live the rest of my life much like my parents had. I had no plans of meeting a special someone and shaking up my world. I had never thought I’d be in this position. Wrigley Brooks had always been a pipedream. A fantasy. In fact, he may still be one after tonight. But I was going take tonight and feel good about Hadley Marten.
Hadley who wasn’t a wallflower.
Hadley who felt beautiful.
Hadley who wanted to be happy.
I deserved a life I created and went after. Not one I hid behind because of my past. Maybe Aurora was right. College wasn’t for popular kids and clicks. It was time to be a grown up. It was time to be me.
It just might be time to tell Wrigley exactly how I felt.
Okay your confidence is getting ahead of yourself. Reel it in. I shook my head.
I steeled myself and looked in my rearview mirror to check that every hair and sheen of gloss was still in place. It was perfect. Time to go.
Stepping out of the car, I looked around at the house and the surrounding neighborhood. The houses weren’t huge, and they were slightly run down. Not something you’d find in the ghetto, but definitely something you’d see in the outskirts of downtown areas that were being rehabbed. Wrigley and his roommates kept the yard tidy. The grass was trimmed short, and the edges were clipped. There were two bushes on each side of the front porch that could use some work, but it wasn’t crazy overgrown. The house was brick with old school awnings hanging over the windows, and I could see that the backyard was fenced in. For three guys living here, the place wasn’t half bad. But who knew what would greet me inside.
I brushed my hair over my shoulder before raising my hand to knock on the door. I only knocked once before it swung open and that brilliant white smile greeted me in familiar fashion. He was like a breath of fresh, cool air.
“Hey, you should’ve text me when you go—” He stopped mid-sentence and really took me in. He scanned me from head to toe, his lips slightly parted. When he looked me dead in the eyes, I wasn’t prepared for his compliment. “You look incredible.”
I blushed and my cheeks felt warm. Looking down at the ground, I shuffled my feet. “Thank you. Oh, and sorry I didn’t text. I forgot.”
He stepped aside so I could come in. He’d given me just enough room to brush past him, and my arm grazed his stomach. I heard him inhale and it made me wonder if he’d just smelled me. There were those damn butterflies again.
He cleared his throat. “Don’t worry about it. You’re here and that’s all that matters.”
That’s all that mattered. I thought that phrase over as I walked through a small front entry and entered into what I assumed to be the living room. There was a massive sixty-inch television hanging on the wall that was currently playing ESPN News. One black leather sofa was against a long wall, which appeared to be connected to the kitchen, while a matching sofa was on the wall beside it. A small coffee table with muscle magazines scattered across it sat in front, and other than the TV, the room was rather empty with plain white walls. Not as bad as I’d expected it to be. It was, at least, clean from what I could tell. I had no idea if there were any funky smells because the scent of pizza permeated into my nostrils.
“God that smells good,” I nearly growled. I was starving and had forgotten to eat since breakfast. Nerves had gotten the best of me. With food wafting through the air, I couldn’t hold back the hunger.
He chuckled. “Kitchen is over there. Pizza guy dropped off two larges right before you got here.” I followed him as he led me through a small room with a four person dining table and chairs. The kitchen was how I envisioned—galley style with dark, dated cupboards. The counter was Formica, but not crazy awful. “I had no clue what you like on your pizza, so I just guessed.”
He grabbed two paper plates from a cupboard and handed me one.
“You could’ve text and asked.” I smiled at my words so he could tell I was needling him about all his texts.
He bumped me with his elbow and I looked up at him and grinned. “Aren’t you just the comedian.” Opening the two boxes, he said, “This one is a meat lovers, and the other is Hawaiian. Sorry, but I love pineapple on pizza.”
“I know you do.”
“Point for Hadley. Seems there’s another thing you know about me that I didn’t about you.”
I picked up a piece from both boxes and put it on my plate. “Wrigley, I’m not keeping score. Why does it matter that I knew something about you that you didn’t about me?”
“Because I’m figuring out just how much of a dick I was in high school when I completely ignored you.”
I didn’t feel like getting into this right now. I was here to enjoy myself, not dredge up the past. “Well, for the record, I love Hawaiian. Meat lovers is yummy too, but I usually pick off the sausage. Don’t know why but it doesn’t ever sit well with me.” I tried making light.
He followed suit. “Well, then, mystery solved. Do you want soda, water, beer, or I think there’s milk in the fridge?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Milk with pizza is disgusting. I’m not old enough to drink, so I’ll just take a soda.”
He set his plate down to dig around in the fridge. I took a moment to gaze at his back side without getting caught staring. It had a perfectly round shape that I knew filled his baseball pants well. “There’s Mountain Dew, or Pepsi.”
“Pepsi.”
“Pepsi it is.” He stood back up and handed me the ice cold can. Our fingers brushed and I felt a chill roll through me. I grip
ped the can so it didn’t slide out of my hand. “If you want a beer later, it’s fine. Nobody is carding you here.”
The sarcasm in his voice made me feel slightly embarrassed by my stickler attitude. I knew most kids my age had already been to a party or two and had been completely trashed at one time or another. But it was never my thing.
I didn’t want to come across as uncool, so I simply said, “Okay, thanks.” I wouldn’t be touching it.
We both took our food and drinks into the living room and I waited until he sat down to pick where I’d sit. He plopped down in the middle of the larger couch, directly in front of the television, which only left space on either side of him. I politely took the smaller couch and sat with my food resting on the arm. He watched me perplexed, and I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, but I thought better of it. Maybe he didn’t want me putting my plate there. I picked it up and placed it on my lap. His frown stayed.
“You good over there?”
“Hmm?” I asked confused. “Oh, yeah I’m fine, thanks.”
Wrigley looked at me puzzled.
“So where are the guys at? I thought there’d be other people here.” I tried to keep the conversation rolling.
He took a mouthful of pizza and tore off an end. I watched his mouth as he chewed. His tongue snuck out and licked the corner of his lip before he answered me. “Bishop got a text from Aurora to come over, so he’s at your place.” Oh that sneaky little roommate. “Chris is at some frat party for the millionth time this semester. And Austin is out of town at his older sister’s wedding.”
I took a long hard sip of my soda. I hiccupped once before I spoke. I don’t know why fizzy drinks did that to me, but my first gulp always made me hiccup. Wrigley tried to hide his chuckle.
“So it’s just us?” I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was hopeful or that the possibility of alone time was a big deal, but I think it came out more of a desperate question than a casual careless statement.
“Yep, just us. You cool with that?”