by Jean Carroll
“Good Lord, Blackie, are you always this grumpy?” Maeve said.
“I am, yes.” he got up and stomped into the kitchen and came back with a cold beer, flopping back down in his chair. Maeve rolled her eyes at Meg and she smiled back.
“Are any of you going to ride in the morning?” Ken asked.
“I might,” Blackie said.
“Me too,” Meg piped up and Blackie frowned at her.
“What?” She asked.
“I’ll talk to you about it later,” he said.
She glanced over at Maeve and she was giving Blackie a quizzical stare.
“Hey, Dad, let me give you the paperwork on your horses before I forget,” Blackie said. “They’re in my room, I’ll go get them.”
“Okay, what about the horses that are being shipped to you? Don’t I need their papers?” his Dad asked.
“Yes, sure, I’ll get all of them and we’ll see what you need.” He got up and leaned over to Meg, lifting her chin up to him with his fingertips.
“Are you okay?” he said softly and she nodded and smiled. “I’ll be right back,” and he kissed her tenderly on the mouth. He left to get the papers and she looked over at Maeve who was smiling at her. Ken got up and followed Blackie.
Maeve started chatting with Sean and Katie. Meg was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open and was starting to feel a little light-headed too.
Great! Just what I need, more pregnancy symptoms. Maybe I just need to lie down for a few minutes.
Blackie and Ken returned with a bunch of papers, both sitting down again. Blackie put his arm around her and then ... blackness.
Her head fell over on Blackie’s shoulder and he turned and looked at her quickly.
“Did Meg just fall asleep?”
“Blackie, I think she passed out. She was very pale right before you sat down,” Maeve said.
“What? Crap, did she say she felt bad?” Blackie asked as he scooped her up and carried her into the library, laying her on one of the couches. He knelt beside her, lightly patting her face.
“Meg, honey, wake up.” Maeve handed him a damp cloth. “Thanks, Mom.”
When Meg came to, she looked up at him.
“What happened?” she asked him.
“I think you passed out.” He said, frowning. “How do you feel?”
“I still feel a little light-headed. I’m just tired. Maybe I should go up and lay down? I think that will help.”
“Of course, come on,” he said and started to pick her up.
“I can walk, I’m fine.” She sat up, feeling dizzy but tried to hide it.
“You still don’t look good,” he said. She got up and walked a little drunkenly out of the room.
Blackie took her hand and led her upstairs. They went to his room and she crawled into bed.
“I’m worried, I don’t like you being dizzy and passing out. Is it because of the baby?” he asked sitting next to her on the bed.
“I guess. I’m sooo tired too. You go back down and I’ll be fine. I’ll just lay here and rest.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying up here with you. Everyone will understand,” he pleaded.
“No, no, you go down and visit. I’ll call if I need you, honey.”
“Okay.” He kissed her. “I love you, Meg.”
“I love you too.”
* * *
Blackie walked back down stairs and sat at the table again with a frown on his face.
“Is she okay, dear?” Maeve asked him.
“I hope so. She’s going to rest.”
“How far along is she, son?” his mother asked, her mouth set in a stern line.
“What?” he said, as his stomach quickly knotted.
“You heard me, Blackie. Don’t lie to me.”
Blackie sighed big.
“I told you she’d know,” Sean said.
“Shut up, Sean,” Black said, snapped.
“So you were going to hide the fact that she’s pregnant?” Maeve said, her mouth in a tight line.
“No, Mom, it’s just that we only found out ourselves two days ago and it’s been a shock. How the hell did you know?”
“I’ve never seen you with a woman before, but I didn’t think you treated them like they might break,” Maeve said.
“Do I really treat her like that?”
“Yes,” Sean and Katie said in unison.
“Oh, great,” Black said laughing.
“Black, this is serious. Why weren’t you using birth control? We raised you to be more responsible than this. All the condoms we bought you as a teenager; what were you thinking?”
“Mom, we were using birth control. We were using the patch. It’s supposed to be ninety-nine percent effective.” Blackie said.
“Well, Mr. One Percent, how’d that work?” she said and Sean and Katie burst out laughing.
“Very funny.” Blackie said giving them a nasty look.
“Are you planning on getting married?”
“Of course we’re getting married! This is entirely my fault. I meant to ask her months ago but I’ve been distracted with my problems.”
“What problems?” Maeve asked.
“Mom, I’ve been in rehab two or three times. I still don’t handle a crisis normally. When something upsets me, I want to drink. Meg has helped me a lot.”
“All of this is that bastard Mickey’s fault. I could kill him,” Ken said, raising his voice.
“Blackie, why didn’t you wait before you got her into bed?” Maeve said, scolding him.
“Hey, we knew each other for about four months before we started dating and we dated for another two months before we slept together. We really love each other, Mom.”
“Are you sure she’s not after your money. You’re famous and you have a certain position.
“Don’t say anything against her! She didn’t know who I was until we started dating. She thought I was a stable hand.” Blackie said, flushing. “By the time she knew who I was, she was already in love with me.”
“You’re sure it’s your child?” Ken said.
Blackie jumped up knocking his chair over. “Watch what you say, damn it! If you knew how possessive I am, you’d know damn well it’s mine.”
“Ken, that wasn’t a very kind thing to say,” Maeve said, glaring at her husband.
“I’m sorry, son, I just want to protect you.”
“Just don’t make any more derogatory remarks about Meg.”
“Do you love her?” Maeve asked.
“I love her more than anything in the world, Mom.” Blackie said.
“Okay, then why not get married here?”
“We want to get married back in the states and after the baby comes, we’ll plan a really big wedding here,” Blackie said.
“Okay, if that’s how you two want it,” Maeve said, her shoulders slumping.
“Yes, that’s the way we want it for now and don’t look disappointed; you’ll get your big wedding.”
* * *
Meg woke up dazed. She lay there a few minutes until her head cleared. She could hear loud voices and had a sinking feeling Blackie was giving his parents trouble.
I better get up and see if I can run interference.
She sat up slowly and didn’t feel too bad, so she got up and went downstairs. As she neared the kitchen, she could hear Blackie saying something about a wedding and he sounded angry.
Great, I guess the jig’s up!
She walked into the kitchen and the conversation came to an abrupt halt. Blackie smiled at her when she sat down and kissed him.
“Hi, honey, are you feeling better?”
“Yes, thanks, I needed that nap. What were you arguing about?” She asked innocently.
There was complete silence for a couple of beats, and then Sean piped up.
“The cat’s out of the bag, Meg, or should I say the baby.”
“Thoughtfully subtle, as always, Sean.” Blackie growled.
“Honey, it’s fine. Mr.
& Mrs. O’Brien, I’m sorry, we should have told you right away. We weren’t trying to hide it, we’re just still in shock and not sure what to do next. We just found out ourselves. We thought we had the birth control issue taken care of.”
“Don’t worry about it, Meg. Blackie’s the one at fault. He should have been more responsible,” Maeve said.
“I disagree, Mrs. O’Brien, Blackie’s been more than responsible. He’s also held off with marriage plans because he felt he was unstable and wanted to be well before he asked me. He’s very thoughtful,” she said firmly, while actually shaking in her boots that she had just talked back to Blackie’s Mom.
“Do you love my son, Meg?” Maeve asked her.
“Oh, yes, very much. Sometimes it overwhelms me, how much I do love him. It’s a little scary sometimes, especially when he’s hurt. I don’t think I could survive without him,” she said, more to him than to Maeve. He gave her a strange, surprised, awe-struck look.
“What? You know how much I love you,” she said.
“I know but I never heard you say it like that before.”
“You know, Meg, I’ve never seen Blackie with a woman; well once at some party and he didn’t seem very happy. I like the way he is with you; protective and sweet. He’s obviously happy and that’s what matters. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy. Well, maybe when he got his first pony.” Everyone laughed.
“Come here, Meg,” Maeve said to her. Meg got up and walked around to her, not knowing what to expect. Maeve hugged her and said, “Thank you for loving my son and making him happy. Now let’s talk about this baby. How far along are you and how are you feeling?”
“I’m very tired and light-headed. I don’t feel much like eating either. I guess I’m two or three months but I’m not sure!”
“It sounds like you’re in the first trimester to me. Actually I shouldn’t tell you this, but I was pregnant with Jill when we got married.” Maeve said. Blackie sat there with his mouth open and then started laughing.
“Hey, way to go Dad,” he said to his father who gave him a smile and thumbs up.
“Oh, Blackie, behave,” Maeve said.
“Cool,” Sean said and “hi-fived” Ken.
“You boys are incorrigible!” Maeve said, shaking her head. “Okay, now that you know our secret, you don’t have to go spreading it around.”
“Don’t worry, Mom, we won’t tell anyone,” Blackie said still smiling.
“I don’t know, exactly how much is our silence worth?” Sean asked.
Maeve threw a roll at him.
“You better keep your mouth shut, boyo.”
“I don’t know about you young people, but I’m tired. If I’m going to ride in the morning, I’m going to bed. Who all is going to ride tomorrow?” Ken said.
“We’re going to sleep in,” Sean said.
“I guess I’ll ride.” Blackie said.
“Me, too.” Meg said, excitedly.
“Oh, no, you’re not riding,” Blackie said firmly.
“What, why not?” She snapped.
“Unless you’ve forgotten, you’re pregnant.” He said sarcastically.
“Don’t be a smart ass, of course I haven’t forgotten. Why, does that mean I can’t ride?” She said.
“You passed out earlier, Meg. For chrissake what if you pass out while you’re riding and fall?” Blackie said.
“I feel better now. I told you before that women have always done lots of stuff while they’re pregnant. Frontier women walked all the way out West, tended gardens, and chopped wood. I’m not that damn delicate,” she said.
“First of all, you’re not a fucking frontier woman and you are in a delicate condition when you’re passing out. You’re not riding,” Blackie said raising his voice.
“Blackie, don’t yell at her,” Maeve said.
“Stay out of this, Mom,” Blackie snapped at her.
Meg burst into tears and yelled back at him.
“You can’t tell me what to do just because I’m carrying your baby. You’re always bossing me around, damn it.” She said standing up and getting in his face.
“Meg, I mean it, don’t fight with me about this.”
“Oh, what are you going to do, big tough guy, punch me?” She sobbed. She suddenly felt very dizzy and almost fell over. Blackie caught her and cradled her in his arms while she sobbed.
“Honey, it’s okay. Calm down.”
“It’s so beautiful here. I just wanted to ride and explore the countryside.” She tearfully told him.
“I know, honey. How about if you ride in the saddle and I ride up behind you to make sure you don’t fall,” Blackie said.
“Oh, okay, that sounds like fun,” she said, cuddling up against him.
“You want to do that?”
“Uh, huh,” she murmured falling asleep in his arms.
He pulled her onto his lap and held her while she slept. He looked at Maeve and said quietly, “Where did all that come from? Mom, you know I wouldn’t hit her, ever.”
“I know. Get used to it. You’re dealing with a lot of hormones now,” she told him.
“Wow, all that was from hormones?”
“Yes, dear.”
“Jesus, Mom, I really have a lot to learn.”
“Don’t worry, son, you’ll figure it out. I can see how you’re there for her when she needs you. Just look, you two just had a fight and I knew you were angry, but your anger instantly dissolved when she got dizzy. You quickly changed from angry to protective and loving. That’s a good sign,” Maeve told him.
“I hope so. I really feel unstable a lot of the time, so I don’t know if I can handle it.”
“You’ll be in Virginia with Jill and Keary. They can help you. Jill hasn’t had a baby yet, but they can help.” Maeve said.
“Jill’s trying to get pregnant now,” Blackie told her.
“Oh really, that’s wonderful. I’ll have the priest say prayers for all of you to have healthy babies.” she said.
“Why don’t you pray to God yourself, why do you need a priest?” Blackie said.
“Because I believe the priest’s prayers are heard before mine.”
“Bullshit, that’s ridiculous!”
“Blackie, watch how you talk to your mother,” Ken growled at him.
“Yes, sir,” Blackie said and rolled his eyes. Sean laughed at him.
“Shut up, Sean,” Blackie growled back.
“Okay, all of you settle down,” Maeve said.
“I think I’ll take Meg up to bed. I’m tired too. Goodnight, all,” Blackie said. He picked her up, carried her upstairs and tucked her in his bed.
* * *
Meg slept like a dead woman all night. The next morning she awoke to a quiet room and an empty bed. When she went into the bathroom, the mirror was steamed up so she assumed Blackie was already showered and down at the stable. She showered quickly and dressed in jeans, riding boots and a sweater. She was very excited about riding this morning but felt a little nauseated.
Oh, great, Blackie’s going to have a fit if I throw up.
She walked down to the kitchen and found Maeve and Katie finishing breakfast.
“Good morning,” she said cheerily.
“Good morning,” they returned the salutation
“What would you like to eat, dear?” Maeve asked her.
“Oh, I’m not too hungry. Maybe tea and toast. Maybe some scrambled eggs too.”
“Sit down, I’ll get it for you,” Maeve got up.
“Please, Maeve, don’t wait on me. I can fix it myself.”
“Nonsense, have a seat. All the men have eaten and are over at the barns.”
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Katie asked.
“I’m a little queasy this morning. God I hope I don’t throw up. Blackie will freak.”
“Yeah, he’s a little tense about it,” Katie said. “Actually he’s doing pretty well for a guy who just found out his girlfriend’s pregnant. He’ll figure it out.”
&n
bsp; “You think so?”
Just then Maeve came in with her food. She set the plate in front of her and Meg looked at it. She was hungry and it looked delicious, but she just couldn’t put any in her mouth. Weird! She didn’t want Maeve to get concerned so she sipped the tea and nibbled a bite of toast. The three of them chatted for a few minutes more and then Meg excused herself to go to the stables.
She walked over and Blackie was outside grooming a huge, gray horse, while Ken and Sean stood there chatting with him. As she walked up, Blackie turned around and saw her.
“Good morning, sweetheart; how’s my little mama this morning?” Blackie asked and kissed her.
“I’m okay. I slept well. How are you?”
“I’m ready to ride. This great beast is Arrow. He’s a Percheron, thoroughbred cross and very gentle. You’re going to ride in the saddle and I’m going to ride up behind you.”
“Oh, Blackie, I’m not going to fall. I’m not a baby. I’m a competent horsewoman,” she said instantly annoyed with him. He came over close and got in her face.
“There’s going to be no more discussion about this. You’ve passed out twice since we’ve been here and I’m not taking any chances of you falling. So we’re riding Arrow. Is that clear?” he said with a glint in his eyes that told her he wasn’t kidding.
“Okay, if you insist,” she said, raising her chin.
“Good, that’s my girl. It could be fun,” he said with a big smile.
“Cute. Let’s go, Mr. Fun.”
“I’ll give you a leg up and then I’ll swing up behind you,” he said.
“Blackie, let me give you a leg up,” Sean offered.
“Oh, okay, thanks,” Blackie said sticking his leg out. Sean heaved him onto Arrow’s back behind Meg with a grunt.
“Christ, you’re heavy,” Sean complained.
“Shut up, Sean.”
Blackie scooted up close behind her, putting his arms around her and picking up the reins.
“Can’t I take the reins,” she whined.
“Do you know where you’re going?”
“No, you’re right, I give up. You’re in total control,” she said.
“I don’t want control; I want you and the baby safe.”
“I know, honey. I’m happy you’re being protective. I’m sorry I’m being cranky.”
“I know, it’s your new baby hormones.” he said kissed her and rubbed his hand over her belly.