by Stella Noir
I was horrified by the way he was treating me, but I was even more horrified by my body’s reaction to him. I wanted to be used. I wanted to be treated like an object for his pleasure. I wanted to feel that incredible feeling of complete loss of control that I felt when he told me what to do. But the thing that kept sticking in my head was the way he was talking to me. It wasn’t the same whisper that he had used before; the one that made me want to curl up like a kitten at his feet. It was more like an order that could not be disobeyed and that gave me absolutely no choice other than to do exactly what it said. Both made me wet beyond reason, but I couldn’t help but notice how different each voice made me feel.
I stood up and took off the nightgown, then set it on the bed.
“Don’t bother with that anymore. You have a closet full of clothing over there that you can pick from after you take a bath. Bend over.”
I did as he ordered, reaching my hands around behind myself and grabbing my ass cheeks to pull them apart.
“Move your hands lower.”
As I did what he told me to do, moving my hands so that they were almost touching the tops of my thighs, he kicked my feet apart and I felt myself completely open up. I was almost doubled over and everything between my legs felt like it was being forced out towards him. I felt the first smack of the wooden paddle on my right cheek and screamed out in surprise and pain, then the next in the exact same spot. The first blow stung, the second was excruciating and I could almost hear the smile on his lips. The next whack with the paddle landed in between both of my ass cheeks, which was now where my pussy was completely opened up to him. The blow hit my incredibly sensitive lips and clit and as it did I let go of my ass cheeks and fell forward onto my hands and knees again, crying out in agony.
“Get up.”
“Please, Jake,” I said in between sobs.
“Get up and bend over the edge of the bed.”
I grabbed the side of the bed and pulled myself up, trying to stop crying and then wondering if it mattered at all.
I felt him right behind me, panting and grunting, and making some sort of quick movement. Then there was a longer moan and after that and I felt a stream of hot liquid fall across my back. I heard him zip his pants up, the subtle sounds of him moving across the soft carpet, and a door open and close.
I let my body crumple to the ground and just lay there, sobbing, for what seemed like an hour. I couldn’t believe that I had been reduced to getting affection through the paddlings and gruntings of this lunatic, although what had just happened today felt a lot more like punishment than affection.
I slowly got up and walked towards the bathroom, but stopped when I passed by a large antique wardrobe that sat next to the bathroom door. I opened the doors and noticed that it was filled with long, skimpy gowns and negligees of every color. There were some that were covered in sequins and some that were trimmed in ostrich feathers and others that were just sheer and silky but they all looked way too sexy for me. I wasn’t sure which one to choose and I really just wished I’d had a flannel nightgown to keep me cozy. It almost seemed like these clothes were for someone else, or Jake was trying to turn me into someone else. They really weren’t me at all.
I started the bath and while I let the tub fill up I looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to wrap my arms around the sad girl that I saw there and tell her I was sorry for all the horrible things I had said about her. I wanted to take everything back. All the jokes and comments about how I wasn’t as pretty or skinny or as good as other girls. I wanted to make it up to myself somehow and comfort myself but I didn’t know how. I knew I wasn’t filthy like Jake had said, and I knew I wasn’t ugly like I had always told myself, but I didn’t know how to convince myself of either one.
When the bathtub was full, I carefully lowered myself into the hot, steaming water and although I knew the temperature was fine, it felt like it was scorching the sensitive, abused parts of my body. When my whole body acclimated I sank down into the tub, letting my head go under and trying to allow the warm water to fill in the space where I existed and wash me away. I tried to forget about what had just happened but my mind kept wandering to Jake and what made him think he could keep me here like this. And the even worse thought that I might just want to stay.
What’s wrong with me? I asked over and over as I tried to lose myself in the warm water.
9
ABBY
After less than a week of being moved to the new room, I was starting to get used to the daily routine. I would wake up with the sunrise and stare out the window from my bed for a while, thinking about my beautiful surroundings and pretending that I was here on my own volition instead of dwelling on the fact I was being held like an animal in a very well decorated cage. Since I was in the room by myself the majority of the time and didn’t have much to entertain myself with, I sat in silence a lot, contemplating my life and all of the thoughts and feelings that being held in this place had brought up in me. It was surprising to me how many old memories had surfaced during my short time here. Not just the kids at school, but other times I had been cheated on or blamed for something I hadn’t done. I really didn’t realize how many little moments like that had built up within me to make me that scared girl that ran away from the man of her dreams, only to wind up here. I wondered if this was really the perfect situation for me, after all, since there was really no need for me to communicate with him at all. I had no responsibility for anyone’s happiness. No responsibility to become an emotionally mature woman. No responsibilities at all, really.
It was still hard for me to reconcile the feelings I had for Jake, though, especially considering that I never received a kind or affectionate word from him anymore and our only contact came in the form of rough sex. Jake always came in to fuck me after I was dressed. I was sure he had cameras in this room as well as my hospital room so he knew when I had taken a bath and was dressed the way he wanted, or exactly when my guard was down. He would always come in before breakfast and usually again in the afternoon before dinner. Sometimes he came into my room in the evening and would spend a couple of long, drawn out hours tying me up and fucking me repeatedly, but he never came to me in the middle of the night in a state of terror again.
That night that seemed like years ago now, when he came into my room and told me he was sorry and would do everything he could to get me out of here. I knew it was silly of me to put any faith in those words, but I had at least hoped there was some truth to them. The longer I was in that room, though, the more I wondered if I was ever going to see that Jake again. When I would hear the door open I knew that I would either be tied to the bed or a door or a chair and I would be paddled and slapped and punished. He had an array of gynecological instruments he would insert into whichever hole suited him on a regular basis and other times he would have me sit on that odd stool in the corner of the room while he fucked my mouth and made me pleasure myself. But no matter what he did, it always seemed like it was intended to produce equal parts of pain and humiliation in me.
In truth, I derived sexual pleasure from quite a few of the things he did to me, and it became easier for me to admit to myself as the days went on. It’s just that, without any kindness or warmth or affection, only force and intimidation, it left me feeling incredibly cold and hollow every time. He would have his way with me until he was finished and would then tell me to make myself come and I didn’t have any problem doing that at all. I was usually ready for the release by then, but that’s all it was really, a release of tension and energy. He seemed to want to watch me have an orgasm but was not even remotely interested in bringing it about himself, usually telling me right before he turned and walked out the door that I was filthy and disgusting and that I should be happy he was letting me come at all.
Every day I ate all of my meals in my bedroom alone, with breakfast always coming in after my first session of the day, but today I was startled to find my breakfast already in the room after my bath. I got dressed and w
ent to the table where my food was always laid out and went ahead and ate, hoping that this wasn’t another one of his tests that would lead to even more severe punishment. I finished everything and sat down in one of the chairs in the room and waited for the inevitable.
Eventually, Jake came into the room looking more crazed than I had ever seen him. He didn’t look at me at all when he ordered me down on the floor in front of the bed and I could tell that something was different. I was sure that I was going to be punished somehow, so by the time I knelt down in front of him I was shaking. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head up so that I was forced to look into his eyes.
“You may think you’ve experienced pain, Abby, but you don’t even know the meaning of the word yet,” he said, grimacing as he gripped my hair even tighter. His voice was still even but sounded louder and more menacing than it ever had before.
“Jake! Please!” I yelled, bracing myself for whatever was coming. He threw me down onto the ground and laughed, but he seemed to be looking at something in the large mirror.
“Jake? You really don’t you get it yet, do you, Abby? I didn’t think you could possibly be that stupid, but I guess you are. I’m not Jake, Abby. Do you know where Jake is? He’s over there, hiding behind that glass wall and watching everything that goes on in here,” he said with wild eyes as he stalked across the room to a small picture that was hanging on the wall adjacent to the mirror. It opened on a hinge like a small door and behind the painting was a panel of switches that he used to control the lighting. He flipped one switch and the lights dimmed in the bedroom. He flipped another and a light went on in a room behind the mirror, illuminating everything inside. I gasped when I saw another Jake standing with his head hanging down and his hands pressed against the glass. I couldn’t even comprehend what was going on and could barely breathe as I uttered his name out loud. He didn’t look at me or respond in any way and I just sat there on the floor, staring at him in complete silence.
This can’t be real. There can’t actually be two Jakes. I thought as I pulled myself against the bed and leaned on it for support.
“I honestly thought you knew, Abby,” the doctor said as he chuckled and rubbed his forehead like he was just as surprised as I was. “I mean, I realize we’re identical twins, but are you really that gullible? I really thought there would have to have been something along the way to tip you off, like a touch…or a scent…or maybe a difference in the taste of our cum. Oh wait…that’s right…you couldn’t possibly have ever tasted Jake’s cum since he’s never been able to get it up when he’s been anywhere near you.”
I pried my eyes away from the image of Jake behind the glass wall and slowly turned to look at his exact twin who was now towering over me with that horrible smile that he always had plastered on his face.
“Who the hell are you?” I asked, clawing at the bed as I rose to my feet.
“I’m Jeffrey…Jake’s brother, of course. I guess I’m not too surprised he never mentioned me, taking into consideration the arrangement we’ve had most of our lives.”
“Brother? Jake’s brother? Wait, what arrangement?” I looked at Jake with pleading eyes, hoping that would somehow extract the information from him that I wanted, but he remained in the same position with his head hung down and his fists up against the window, like a stone statue or a column that was holding up a building. He hadn’t moved at all, but I swore I could see him shaking with anger that almost seemed like it was emanating from him in waves. I looked back at his brother, Jeffrey, who was still smiling that creepy, smirky smile, with those same cold, calculating eyes that had scared the hell out of me for weeks now. And it was then that I realized that these horrible, evil eyes were nothing like Jake’s.
How could I not have noticed? How could I have thought that those were Jake’s eyes? That this man could possibly be Jake?
I tried to back away from him as the realization came crashing down on me what an incredible fool I had been. Yes, his eyes were similar to Jake’s, but there was no mistaking that shallow coldness now. I felt the walls start to close in on me again as I tried to comprehend what had been going on.
“What arrangement do my brother and I have? Well, I guess you could say that we take turns…”
“Jeffrey!”
A warning voice came loud and clear into the room from behind the glass but Jake had still not looked up.
“What? Are you afraid I’m going to let the cat out of the bag, Jacob? Did you really think you had a way out of this without Abby finding out? I guess I could kill her and she then would never find out. But then how would I continue to torture you day in and day out by fucking the woman you love but could never fuck yourself?” he asked in a mocking voice. It was like he was poking a lion in a cage now, but why didn’t Jake fight back?
“Jeffrey stop this! You have to stop this, now!” he growled but still didn’t look up at his brother. I could tell that they were both about to explode with anger and but I didn’t understand why Jeffrey seemed to have so much power over Jake. I didn’t understand why Jake didn’t just make Jeffrey stop.
“You want me to stop, Jacob? I’m not sure that would be fair to Abby, though. I think she deserves to find out what a pathetic excuse for a man you really are.”
“Jeffrey, I’m warning you!”
Jake looked up at Jeffrey and glared at him through the window. He wouldn’t look over at me at all. He just stared at his brother with a look of pure hatred.
I watched them yell at each other for what felt like an eternity, while I waited for a chance to run out of the room, then find my way out of the house and down that long snow covered road so I could finally get away from all of this insanity. I was relieved that Jake wasn’t as much of a lunatic as I had previously thought, but I didn’t know how much better this new information was. He was still obviously disturbed, but looking at him behind that glass filled me with some kind of crazy relief and I knew, even after all that I had just witnessed, I still wasn’t over him.
“Do you really think she’s going to want you now? Do you think you still have a chance with her after she finds out what you’ve been doing to her for months? How you’ve been tricking her? And how you can only watch…”
“Jeffrey! Stop!”
I jumped as Jake pounded on the glass, shaking the entire wall, his eyes filled with rage.
“…but you can’t actually do anything.”
Jake was visibly shaking as he stared at his brother with his fists pressed against the window. I looked back at Jeffrey, who was still standing too close to me to chance making a run for the door so I waited, hoping I wouldn’t get caught in the middle of what was about to happen. The amusement in Jeffrey’s eyes was horrifying as he looked back at Jake, and he seemed like he was about to burst into laughter from what was coming out of his mouth next.
“What do you think she’ll do…when she finds out…Jacob?” he said in a calm, mocking tone. “What do you think she’ll think of you? Do you think she’ll have any sympathy for you at all when she finds out that you’ve never actually fucked her?”
“Jeffrey, you are going to regret this!” He pounded again, the glass wall sounding like it could crack at any second and come crashing down on him.
“What do you think she’s going to do when she finds out that you can’t get your dick up…”
“JEFFREY!” he screamed as he picked up a chair on the other side of the glass.
“…unless you’re watching your own brother fuck the woman you love,” he said with a big, evil grin that turned into a maniacal laugh as he watched his brother behind the glass cage. Jake looked like an animal as he continued to scream Jeffrey’s name, then stepped back and swung the chair at the glass wall, sending it crashing through and into the room where Jeffrey and I stood.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as I jumped back to avoid the shower of glass shards that came raining down around the room. Jeffrey, standing next to me and laughing uncontrollably, and Jake wal
king over the broken pieces of glass that were spread across the floor. He picked his brother up by the shirt and threw him against the wall behind him.
Jeffrey fell to the ground and Jake pounced on him, pummeling his face with a barrage of left and right hooks that would have put down a heavyweight fighter. I watched as the rage that I had seen in Jake’s eyes, from whatever had gone on between the two of them throughout their lives, flowed out of his fists and found it’s resting place on his brother’s face. Although I was still in total shock I realized that this was my opportunity to get away from these lunatics, so I tip-toed through the pieces of glass that had spread across the floor and made my way to the door of the room. I opened it just enough so that I could slip through and when I looked back one last time I saw Jeffrey’s face as Jake held him by the neck, choking the life out of him. And Jeffrey was still laughing.
10
ABBY
I quietly shut the door behind me and crept out into a long hall with nothing but closed doors and darkness in both directions. I walked to the right and passed two doors, one on either side of the hallway, then decided to try the third. Even though I was terrified of running into that nurse I had to find a way out.
I slowly turned an antique brass knob and opened the door into a dark room, then quickly jumped in and shut it behind me. I listened through the door for a minute and heard a creak outside in the hall but I didn’t know if it was Jake or Jeffrey and wasn’t sure if I trusted Jake or not, so I stayed quiet until the sound had passed.
I turned and looked around the room as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It looked like another bedroom, but not nearly as ornately furnished as the one I had just been held in. I noticed that there was light coming through an open door across the room and I walked over to it to see if I could hear anything on the other side. I waited for a minute or two, then slowly and silently pushed the door the rest of the way open. Light spilled over me and into the dark room I stood in as the door opened. When I saw that no one was in the room I went inside.