by Isaac Hooke
“Of course,” Crusher said.
“She’s got bigger balls than you, you know,” Brontosaurus said with a chuckle.
“I dunno about that,” Crusher said. “Some of the things I’ve seen the new kid do, I tell you... and I thought Frogger was nuts.”
Eric frowned. He remembered that Pounder didn’t have LED features, so the frown wouldn’t actually show up on his face. “What have I done that was nuts?”
“Well, for one: rushing a bioweapon bigger than all the rest, a bio weapon surrounded by an energy shield, and finding a way to rip away its cannon,” Crusher said.
“Oh yeah,” Eric said. “That probably counts as borderline whack job.”
“I’ll say,” Crusher said.
He was surprised his English converter was able to handle whack job. But she seemed to understand, so that was good.
“Where are you from, originally?” Eric asked. “I can’t pick out the accent. Then again, that’s probably because accents have changed so much since my day, and my Modern English to Young English converter is bad at transferring them.”
Her Cicada glanced at him. “I never told you?”
“No, at least, if you did, it’s not anywhere in my memory,” Eric said.
“If your memory is failing, that’s a bad sign...” Crusher said.
“I never said that,” he told her.
“My hometown should be on my profile,” Crusher said.
“I try not to look at those,” Eric said. “Feels like an invasion of privacy.”
Her LED mouth smirked. “I’ve looked at yours. In great detail.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, you’re a programmer from the West Coast. Worked for some now non-existent company. Before that, you were in the Army during the Iraq War.”
“Yes, so where are you from?” Eric said. “Don’t make me look at your profile.”
“Tennessee,” Crusher said.
“Really?” Eric said. “I would have never placed you.”
“Yeah well, the Tennessee of 2125 was nothing like the one of your time I’m sure,” Crusher said.
“Was the south still famous for its hot fried chicken?” Eric asked.
“Of course!” Crusher said. “We’ve always been famous for that. Mm, I can just taste the spiciness now. I just wish the damn VR could replicate that flavor. I miss it.”
“Frogger and I are fairly good at programming flavors into our VRs,” Eric said. “You should see the burgers we’ve come up with.”
“You think you could prepare a replicate of hot fried chicken?” Crusher asked. “And not just the flavor, but the texture, too. That’s equally important. It has to burn in your mouth as you’re chewing it. It has to be hot, but so good you can’t stop yourself from eating it. And don’t forget the bread. It needs to be served on bread to soak up the yummy chicken grease, plus dill pickle chips and coleslaw. Oh God, can you tell I miss it?”
“I can,” Eric said. “What level of hotness do you want? Medium?”
“Oh,” Crusher said. “You need to provide multiple levels. Not just medium. Like Hot. Super Hot. Crazy Hot. Stupendously hot, and so on. Have you really tried hot chicken? Are you sure you can replicate the taste?”
“I’ve tried it a few times,” Eric said. “So I should be able to do it.”
Bambi slowed down to join them. “So what are we talking about?” She asked in her French accent.
“Nothing,” Crusher said.
“Really?” Bambi said.
“They were talking about hot chicken,” Brontosaurus said. “Eric says he’s going to make some for all of us.”
“Uh, yeah,” Eric said. He felt suddenly uncomfortable. There seemed to be a strange tension between the two robot women. He couldn’t quite place a finger on it.
“Oh, count me in,” Bambi said. “I love chicken.”
“Ha,” Crusher said. “I doubt you’ll like hot chicken. It’ll hurt your delicate French palate.”
“Hurt my palate?” Bambi said. “I don’t think so. The French love to eat some of the hottest food around.”
“I’m sure they do,” Crusher said. “But I somehow doubt you’re able to eat something rated over a million on the Scoville heat scale. Ever tried a Dragon’s Breath? Oh wait, you’re too refined for that.”
“Actually, I have,” Bambi said. “Two of them.”
“Really...” Crusher said. “Damn, that would have been funny to watch.”
“There was nothing to see,” Bambi said. “I swallowed it whole. Easy.”
“Bet your ass hurt when you shit the next day!” Brontosaurus said.
Both Bambi and Crusher gave him annoyed looks.
“Er, workin’ on the energy cannon,” Brontosaurus said.
The weapon shot another blast out to the south.
“So Eric, I was wondering what you were doing in VR later,” Bambi said.
It didn’t pass his attention unnoticed that she'd used his real name, rather than Scorpion, but he wondered if that was more for Crusher’s benefit than his own.
“He’s busy,” Crusher said. “He already agreed to test out his hot chicken with me.”
“Oh really?” Bambi said. “Well I was thinking of testing out his hot chicken, too.” She said the last part with a sultry heat to her voice.
And suddenly Eric understood the tension. Jealousy. It didn’t seem possible, but the two robots were competing for him.
He could have laughed.
This is my life now. I’m trapped inside a mech with the unfortunate name of Pounder—a treasure trove of double entendres if there ever was one—and I’m the object of affection for two machine women. Marvelous! If ever there was a hell...
“Perhaps you can show me why they name you Pounder,” Bambi purred predictably, and Eric cringed inside. She glanced at Crusher and added: “You’re welcome to join us.”
“Sorry, don’t swing both ways,” Crusher said. “And as I told you, he’s already occupied. Try again another time. Like never.”
“That’s fine,” Bambi said with a shrug. “I’m sure Frogger’s free tonight.” She accelerated her pace to resume her former position in the marching order. Actually, no, she continued farther, to walk alongside Frogger instead.
“She’s such a drag, isn’t she?” Crusher said when Bambi was gone.
“I don’t like to dis team members behind their backs,” Eric said. “When they’re not around to defend themselves.”
“Of course,” Crusher said. “So we can test your chicken recipe tonight when we make camp?”
“Assuming we make camp,” Eric said. “And assuming that we’re not all on watch.”
“Come on, we can have background processes stay on watch via our Accomps,” Crusher said. “We don’t need to devote our constant attention to the watch, you know that.”
“But maybe I want to,” Eric said. “Besides, I don’t know if I’m going to work on the hot chicken recipe anytime soon. I have a lot of other things to concentrate on, like figuring out how to electrify my hull. And we are on mission, in case I need to remind you...”
“A mission...” Crusher said. “One with no objective.”
“There is an objective,” Eric said. “To survive.” He paused, and then added: “And also find a way to stop the termite storm heading for North and South America.”
“You’re right,” Crusher said, looking at her feet. “I don’t know what I was thinking. In fact, I wasn’t. It’s because of my emotions. I’ve been ruled by them ever since breaking out of my Containment Code.” She sighed. “It was a bad idea. Forgive me?”
“Of course,” Eric said. “I like your company, I really do. I just can’t commit to anything at the moment.”
“I understand,” Crusher said. “I do. I guess I was just looking for some human companionship in the darkness that has consumed us all.”
Eric reached out a hand, and rested it partially on her shoulder. “No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.”
“And I you,” Crusher said, touching his large finger with her hand.
“That was cute,” Brontosaurus said.
Crusher removed her hand as if bitten. “Uh, I guess I’ll return to my place in line.”
She dashed forward. Eric caught Bambi scowling at her ahead, the LED expressions on her face a dead giveaway to how she was feeling.
“She’s not such a Ball Crusher after all, is she?” Brontosaurus commented. “As long as you stay on her good side.”
Eric caught a blur of motion at the periphery of his vision. A Red Tail leaped off an outcrop next to the passing party, and landed amid the Kurds. It swung about its spear, downing humans left and right with sparks of electricity.
Eric slowed down time and swiveled his ZX-15 into his hand, then he aimed between the different tribesmen as they scattered away from the Red Tail. He targeted the knee joints of the three legs on the right side of the body, and fired.
The hamstrung alien collapsed. It still wielded the silver spear in its arm, and threw it at a group of fleeing women.
Bambi landed in front of them, and grabbed the weapon out of the air in a blur. She tossed it back at the Red Tail, and the weapon passed deep into the base of the torso, electrifying the entire body until the alien collapsed dead. Someone else shot the glandular sac at the tip of its tail at the same time, spewing the goo all over its body, for a nice round of overkill.
“Got a whole slew of them up there!” Mickey said. “Coming down the mountain!”
Eric glanced up, and saw a herd of the bioweapons racing down.
“Told you firing that energy weapon would attract more aliens, dip shit,” Slate said over the comm.
“Take cover, people,” Marlborough said. “Time to dig in!”
9
Eric ducked behind a nearby rise on the shoulder of the mountain, and ordered the three other mechs to take cover as well. He aimed up at the incoming Red Tails; they were hiding their glandular sacs behind their bodies again. No problem. He fired his pulse lasers at two of them, hamstringing their legs. He instructed the Ravagers with him to do the same, and the mechs fired at will. Beside him, the Cicadas and their support robots were also firing from behind cover, as were the armed humans. The women and children huddled behind different depressions and outcrops. Actually, that wasn’t true: a lot of the women wielded rifles, too.
“Got it!” Brontosaurus said. The heavy gunner was still mounted on his back.
The energy cannon on Eric’s shoulder began to charge slowly, the blue glow becoming brighter and brighter with each moment, rather than releasing after two seconds.
“Finally figured out how to charge this sucker,” Brontosaurus continued.
Eric dismissed his scope viewpoint just as the weapon released a powerful beam southward, away from the Red Tails, thicker than anything it had fired before, and the glow subsided.
“Just in time to greet our new friends,” Eric said. “How long will it take to program in that new ‘charge’ feature?”
“Give me a sec.” Brontosaurus began to hook up the designated electrical probes from the sparker to a section of the brainstem.
Eric returned his attention to the herd that raced down the shoulder. He took down three more, switching between Bullet Time and normal time.
“Try it,” Brontosaurus said.
Eric pulled up the sparker’s remote interface. There were two buttons now. Charge, and Fire.
Eric selected Charge, and glanced at the shoulder mount.
“Northing’s happening,” Eric said.
Moving in a blur, Brontosaurus fiddled with the sparker, removing different ganglia and inserting new ones.
“Try now,” the heavy gunner said.
Eric selected Charge.
The weapon began to glow. Brighter and brighter. Eric swiveled his body toward the incoming bioweapons above, lining up the crosshairs that had appeared on his HUD with a tight cluster of the tangos, and hit Fire.
The energy weapon released, striking the cluster. A big explosion erupted, sending up a cloud of rock and bioweapon body parts.
“Nice,” Eric said. “It’s almost like I have Hellhawks again.”
“But this weapon has the potential to be much more than a Hellhawk,” Brontosaurus said. “Imagine what it would do if you let it charge for a full minute!”
“Not sure it will let me charge it that long,” Eric said. “But we’ll see. Would you mind reorienting the cannon so I don’t have to twist my torso all to hell to fire it?”
“Oh yeah, sure. I’m a good little bitch.” Brontosaurus quickly demagnetized the mounts, reoriented the cannon so that it was facing forward, and reapplied the magnetics.
“You sure are!” Eric said. “Joking. I owe you, brother.”
Brontosaurus reattached his heavy guns and leaped down.
“Just destroy the hell out of those creatures,” Brontosaurus said. He aimed up at the incoming herd and opened fire.
Eric pointed the energy cannon at the vanguard of creatures above, and unleashed. Once again, a satisfying explosion rocked the area. Unfortunately, an avalanche of body parts and rocks rained down on his position.
“Uh!” Tread said. “Can we try not to spark an avalanche or anything? We got humans with us, remember! A little to the left, and you would have squished half the women and children.”
“Sorry,” Eric said.
“Got more coming in from the plains, Sarge!” Frogger said.
“Reposition!” Marlborough said. “There’s a rise up ahead. We’ll make our stand there!” He repeated the orders in Arabic.
The team left cover and dashed for the rise. Several of the Red Tails above carried spears, and they used that opportunity to hurl several of them down at the party. Men and women were hit. And Savages and Breachers. Hank was hit, too, but Tread scooped him up.
“It missed his power supply and AI core,” Tread said. “He’s rebooting. But he’ll have a hell of a time using his left arm.”
Eric positioned his mechs behind the fleeing group, and had the Ravagers deploy their ballistic shields. He did the same. He knocked away the spears as they came in, and the electricity sparked along the surface.
The humans reached the rise, which was covered in rocks and small boulders, and the robots began climbing up after them.
Eric simply utilized his jumpjets, and landed on the very top. He ordered the Ravagers to do the same, and they formed a defensive position around him on the uneven terrain.
“Cheater!” Slate said.
“It’s not cheating if you use what’s available to you,” Eric said. “I can’t help it if I have a jetpack and you don’t.”
He used the advantageous position to fire at the Red Tails, many of which had reached the party’s former position on the shoulder. He unleashed his energy weapon at them without fear of creating an avalanche.
And then the ground began coming alive around him. Many of the rocks weren’t rocks at all, but a new type of bioweapon whose skin matched the terrain. The gray and black creatures stood up, their forelimbs drooping with the scythe-like claws of velociraptors, their teeth baring the fangs of saber tooth tigers, their tails tipped with wicked spikes. It looked like they had come straight out of Jurassic Park and Aliens.
They leaped upon the soft humans and began shredding.
Hank fired his laser rifle one-handedly at a reptilian creature, riddling it with holes. An armed Kurd beside him also sprayed the same creature with his projectile weapon. The creature’s torso exploded, spraying the two in green liquid. Both of them began to smoke. The man screamed. Hank meanwhile struggled frantically to wipe off the liquid.
“It’s some kind of caustic!” Hank said. “It’s eating into my AI core!”
“I got you!” Tread said. He rushed to Hank, and forced the Cicada to the ground. Then he ripped out the AI core. Meanwhile the team continued to fire at the creatures.
“Lasers only!” Marlborough said. “Don’t splash any of their innards
on you!”
But some of the Kurds ignored the warning and fired at the creatures as they leaped on them.
“Damn it,” Tread said. He held up the core. It was smoking. “I don’t know if he’s still intact. I can’t get a boot pulse.”
“We can try installing him in one of the Ravagers,” Eric said, as he fired precision shots at the creatures.
“No point without a boot pulse,” Tread said. He jumped to Eric, opened up his storage panel, and shoved the AI core inside. “When we find a 3D printer, we can try to make repairs.”
Bambi was standing on the rise near Eric, firing down into the new creatures. “That all you got? That all you got?”
One of them leaped at her from behind, tearing her from the rise, so that she landed on the plains below.
“Bambi!” Eric said.
Red Tails surrounded her.
Crusher leaped down in her Cicada, moving in a blur. She fired at the creature that pinned Bambi, and pulled her out before the caustic blood could touch her. The Red Tails closed, and together the two fought, dodging those tails and spears. Eric directed some of his fire their way to help them, and also unleashed his energy launcher at the Red Tails behind them.
And then an incredible suction came from the direction of the plains. The wind picked up, gusting past.
“Hang on!” Marlborough said.
Eric deployed his shield and slammed it into the rocky terrain, lodging it between two rocks so he was locked in place. He ordered the other Ravagers to do the same. The Cicadas dug in by punching their fists into the rock, and hung on while their feet were extended backwards behind them.
The humans tried to hang on, too, but they were restricted to grabbing whatever handholds were available on the rise. Some couldn’t find any, and hurtled backward. Some were able to find handholds, but were too weak to hang on for long.
Red Tails and velociraptor creatures were drawn away, too, their claws scrabbling along the ground. All of the velociraptors were lost, but many of the Red Tails on the ground below were able to find handholds. Bambi and Crusher had latched onto the surface by punching their fingers through the rock.
The Red Tails on the plains behind them were also doing their best to dig in.