by Rachel Hanna
Janine laughed. “Don’t worry. You’re dating a yoga instructor, so I will always make sure to keep you flexible and lean.”
He smiled and pulled her into a hug, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Thanks for being my elf today.”
“No problem, Santa.”
* * *
Tina had decided not to go to the boat parade. Today, she was just feeling a little melancholy. Christmas was coming, and she longed so much to have a family of her own to share it with. She relished the alone time this morning while everyone was at the parade so she could wallow in her feelings.
As she watched Julie and Dawson maneuver life with their new son, Julie’s daughters and even a grandchild, she sometimes wished that she’d made different choices in her younger years.
She sat at the dining room table, making yet another wreath to help Julie with the Christmas festival. She didn’t mind doing it. In fact, she had always enjoyed crafts.
When she was a little girl, her grandmother used to do all kinds of things like this with her. She taught her to sew, how to arrange flowers and even how to bake. When she had died, Tina was only in middle school, and she had missed her grandmother’s influence in her life ever since then.
She hadn’t been so blessed to have a wonderful mother and father. Her mother had been an alcoholic since Tina was a baby and had died when Tina was seventeen, and her father had never been in the picture. As an only child, it had left her feeling very lonely growing up.
When she had decided to visit Seagrove, she had second-guessed her decision multiple times. She knew it probably wasn’t been the right thing to do. She knew that she was telling a lot of lies to a lot of people. But she just couldn’t help herself.
Christmas had always been the saddest day of the year for her, and now she was getting to experience what it was like to be with an actual family at the holidays. When everything was over, she didn’t know how she would ever leave.
But surely if these people knew her past and what kind of person she really was, they would throw her suitcase out by the curb before she could even say Merry Christmas. She had taken a chance, a big one, and every day she worried that they would find out her secret.
As she finished the wreath, she turned and looked at the Christmas tree, twinkling with all of its multicolored lights. Even in her thirties, she had a glimmer of hope that one day she might get her life together enough to find a nice man, have children and start over again. But her life had been a series of false starts. Picking the wrong man. Making the wrong choices. Saying that next time she would do better.
The only problem was, she didn’t know if she would ever have what she had always wanted. A person only got so many chances.
Chapter Seven
Meg was dead on her feet. Between work and school, and now Christmas carol practice a few nights this week, she just wanted to put on her flannel reindeer PJs and fall into a nice, warm bed. Instead, she was standing on the grass in the square singing Silent Night over and over because someone - probably her - couldn’t stay in tune.
“Good Lord, one of you ladies is way off key!” Hen screeched again. Meg wanted to slowly walk backward and slink off into the night, but Hen would probably chase her down and tackle her. “Let’s try this again.”
They sang the song one more time, and Meg muted herself during the part that was causing issues. Thankfully, that seemed to appease Hen, and they were finally released for the night.
Christian was practicing some new fangled rendition of Jingle Bells with the other men from the group, but they finished right after the woman and dispersed too.
“I’m so tired,” Meg said, falling into his arms. “Can we just go home and skip dinner?”
“You aren’t hungry?”
“I am, but my stomach will understand,” she said.
“Don’t you think we should pick up Vivi from your mother?”
Meg’s eyes opened wide. “What kind of mother am I? I totally forgot we need to pick up our child!”
Christian laughed. “You’ve been a little preoccupied, my love. It’s okay.”
As they walked toward the bookstore where Julie was working late, she held his hand. The beauty of the Christmas decorations on the square had her feeling the holiday spirit in a big way. She wanted to stop, drop to one knee and just propose to him herself. Change things up a bit. Surprise him. She stopped and looked up at him.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, looking at her with concern.
She couldn’t form words. Drop to one knee, she thought to herself. Be brave.
“Meg?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you stop? Are you okay?”
“I… um… Yes. I’m fine. I just thought my shoe was untied.”
He looked down at her feet. “Darling, you’re wearing flats.”
She looked down too. “Oh.”
Christian chuckled. “Boy, you do need a nice long sleep. Come on, let’s get our daughter and go home.”
* * *
SuAnn sat across from Nicholas and tried not to stare. As much as he resembled Santa Claus now, he was still as handsome as ever. The same blue-gray eyes she’d stared into thousands of times in high school. The same rough hands that loved to work in the yard and do his own mechanic work on his car. The same dimple in his left cheek, but not his right.
“Are you staring at me, Susie?” he said with a wink.
“Maybe a little. It’s just so surreal that you’re here.”
Nick took a bite of chili and then wiped his mouth. They’d opted to have lunch at the cafe on the square before SuAnn was helping Julie with the cookie party later in the day.
“Well, I have to say it feels much the same for me. You’re just as pretty as you ever were.”
She smiled, trying desperately not to blush a bit, although her Irish heritage always gave her away.
“So what are we doing here?”
He tilted his head to the side in confusion. “I don’t rightly know what you mean?”
“You and me. What are we doing?”
“We’re eating lunch, honey. Are you feeling okay?”
She pursed her lips and squinted her eyes. “You know what I mean, Nicolas. Why are you here? What is it you think is going to happen with us? I mean, you don’t live here. Are you just here to spend the holidays with an old flame?”
His eyes widened. “You’re just as much of a spitfire now as you were back then. I’m here because I never stopped loving you.”
“And I feel the same. You know that. But that was a long time ago, and we were just kids. We’re adults now, and we have to make mature decisions.”
“What are you saying?”
“Look, I’m way too old to play games. And I’m somebody who appreciates reality. Logic. And I just don’t see where we’re going with this.”
He folded his napkin and sat it in his empty bowl. “I’ve kind of been wanting to talk to you about that.”
Here it comes, she thought. The big let down. No man in her life had ever not let her down at some point. She would rather just get it over with and enjoy her holidays than worry the whole time.
“Okay. What do you want to say?”
“I want you to move away with me.”
SuAnn sat there, staring at him like she didn’t understand the language she was speaking. “You want me to what?”
“Move away with me.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
He reached across the table and put his hand over hers. “Susie, we missed out on the chance to be together for decades. I want to make use of every bit of time we could have together. I don’t know how you feel, but I don’t ever want to be without you again.”
“I feel the same way,” she said, smiling.
“Then let’s move away together. Let’s go somewhere and have the life we always dreamed of. Remember when we said we would get a little place on the beach in Hawaii? Watch all of our sunsets together?”
“Those were the musings
of two high school kids, Nick. We’re grown up now.”
“Why can’t we have those dreams? Just me and you taking on the world!”
She rolled her eyes. “We’re both in our seventies. I think our times of taking on the world are behind us, dear.”
He laughed. “Maybe so, but can you imagine how much fun we would have? Or maybe we could check out Alaska? Or Montana? I’ve always wanted to move there. The fly fishing there is supposed to be amazing…“
She held up her hand. “Are you forgetting that I have a business here? And a life? My kids are here. My grandkids.”
He leaned back in his chair a bit and nodded. “I know. I get that, I really do. I mean, I have nothing holding me anywhere because I never had kids, but I understand how difficult that must be for you.”
She furrowed her eyebrows at him. “I don’t think you can understand. Look, I had a rift with my daughters for so many years. It has taken us a lot of work over the last year to really get to a good place with each other, and picking up and leaving doesn’t seem like the best move for me right now. Plus, I just opened my own business. I’m really proud of that.”
He sighed. “Do you plan to spend the rest of your life living here because your family does? Do you want to work forever? I can take care of you, Susie. You’d never have to work again.”
She felt so deflated. “This is the first time I’ve really had the life I wanted, Nick. I like it here. I have friends, and I really love running the bakery. It was a dream of mine for a long time.”
“I don’t remember you ever having that dream,” he muttered.
“Well, I did. Not as a child, but as an adult. I spent my entire life being a wife and mother, and this is the first time I’ve had something for myself. I don’t think I want to give that up.”
“Not even for me?”
She sat there quietly. “I don’t think it’s fair for you to ask me to make such a huge decision when we’ve only been back together for a few days.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to push. I just know I’m not getting any younger, Susie, and I’m ready to live the life I’ve always wanted.”
She paused for a moment. “What happens if the life you want isn’t the one I want?”
“I don’t know. I guess that was a possibility I never considered.”
* * *
Julie was so excited to have the Christmas cookie party. It was something she had done when her kids were little, and getting to watch her new son and her granddaughter experience the magic of Christmas was a blessing to her.
Dawson had been helping get everything ready, including buying cookie decorations at the store for her. She had so much to do lately that it felt like it was so hard to keep up. The one thing she didn’t want to lose was the ability to experience the holidays. Sometimes people got so caught up in the holidays they didn’t enjoy it. She was determined that would not happen to her.
“Is there anything else I can do?” Tina asked. She had been very helpful in the kitchen, getting things ready. Julie and Tina had made their own batch of sugar cookies even though people were going to be bringing plenty to decorate. The fire department was going to be overwhelmed with sweet treats by the end of the day.
“If you could put the tablecloth on the extra table. Since we’re going to be decorating, I’d like to avoid having sprinkles all over the hardwood floors.”
Even though it was the holidays, they didn’t have anyone staying at the inn right now. Most people were with family, so they had cut off reservations until after the first of the year. It meant less money, but Julie was happy to have the place to themselves to enjoy the holidays as a family. Taking care of other people who were staying there took up a lot of time and energy, and right now she just wanted to focus on her family.
“No problem. Do you want the red tablecloth?”
Julie nodded. “Yes. And if you don’t mind lighting a couple of those gingerbread candles in the foyer? They smell so good.”
Tina nodded. “Will do. Just let me know if you need anything else.”
Tina had been a big help with the Christmas festival and the preparations for the cookie party. She enjoyed having an extra helper, although she felt kind of bad asking her to do things since she technically was a guest.
“I’m here!” She heard her mother say as she walked through the front door. SuAnn looked at Tina, said nothing and kept walking. She didn’t understand what problem her mother had with Tina, but she hoped she could behave herself today.
“Please tell me you brought the pound cakes?”
SuAnn rolled her eyes. “Of course I did. I even drizzled some red and green icing over the top of them. I’m sure the firefighters will love them. They often come into the bakery.”
“I’m sure they will. Thanks. You can just put them over there on the counter.”
Julie was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Lots of people were going to be arriving any time now, and the house was going to be brimming with people talking, Christmas music playing and busy little hands making the cookies.
When her daughters had been young, this was one of her favorite memories. She hoped it would go off without a hitch and would become a new tradition for Dylan. He definitely needed traditions in his life. Traditions gave him roots.
“When is everybody going to be here?” Dylan asked, feverish with anticipation.
“Should be anytime now. I hope you have exercised your fingers and you’re ready to decorate hundreds of cookies,” she said, fixing the hair on top of his head.
“I’m ready!” he said, running off into the living room. He spent most of his time sitting beside the Christmas tree, trying to keep himself from shaking the presents that Julie had already placed under it. Most of his things hadn’t been wrapped yet and were hidden up in the attic, but he didn’t need to know that.
Dawson, trying to be sly, had her put pennies in several of the gifts just so that when he shook them, he had no idea what was inside. It was a cruel little trick that Dawson said they had done in his family for years.
“Anybody home?” Janine said as she came through the front door with William following behind her. Shortly after, Colleen and Tucker walked into the kitchen.
“Where do you want us to put these cookies?” Colleen asked.
“On the counter, please.”
Over the next few minutes, everybody arrived, stacks of cookies in all different colored plastic containers lined the kitchen counters. Dawson put out all the different colored sprinkles, chocolate chips, and everything else he had bought for decorations.
Janine had bought pre-made sugar cookies from the grocery store, probably knowing her limits as a cook. She was the only person Julie thought could burn water.
Colleen had made different cookie shapes, including candy canes and gingerbread men. They looked a little brown around the edges, but Julie wasn’t about to tell her that.
When Dixie arrived, she had an arm full of fruit cakes, and Carrie was carrying a bowl of sugar cookies she had made. Harry wasn’t there, opting to stay out of the frenzy.
Julie noticed her mother standing off to the side, not saying much. That wasn’t normal for SuAnn, and she wondered where Nick was. She had assumed that he would come.
“Are you okay?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You just seem a little… down.”
SuAnn shrugged her shoulders. “Probably just tired. I’ve been pretty busy at the bakery.”
“Where’s Nick? I thought he was coming?”
“We had lunch earlier. We decided that it was best for him to run a few errands instead of coming today.” She wasn’t making eye contact, which was a sure sign that something was going on. Julie decided not to pick at that string since the cookie party was in full swing and she definitely didn’t want to create any drama.
“Hey, do you mind helping Dylan wash his hands? Sometimes when I ask him to do that, he just quickly runs them under the water with
no soap. I don’t want him making cookies for the firefighters with dirty little hands.”
SuAnn nodded her head. “Of course. I’ll take him upstairs.”
She watched as her mother went and corralled Dylan, ushering him toward the stairs. She definitely looked upset, almost sad. Julie wondered if something had happened between her and Nick, and maybe he’d already left town. She hoped not. Their high school love story was something that made Julie smile, and she wanted her mother to have a new chance at love.
“You alright?” Dawson asked, walking up behind her and squeezing her shoulders.
“Yes, but I think something’s going on with my mother and Nick, but I can’t worry about it right now.”
He turned her around, putting his hands on both of her cheeks. “This day is for you and Dylan. This is your chance to make a new memory with your son, so don’t worry about your mother right now. Her love life can wait.”
“I know you’re right. I just always want everybody to have a perfect Christmas.”
“I only care about my wife and son having a perfect Christmas. Everybody else is just going to have to figure it out for themselves,” Dawson said, smiling at her and then kissing her forehead.
“Break it up,” Meg said as she walked into the kitchen with Vivi on her hip. “Nobody wants to see that public display of affection.”
Dawson laughed. “Well, you’re not going to like this then.” He dipped Julie backward and planted a kiss on her lips. Meg groaned.
“You old people are gross sometimes.”
“They are gross all the time!” Dylan chimed in as he ran back into the kitchen. “Every morning they’re kissing each other. Sometimes it makes me nauseous when I’m eating my pancakes!”
Julie and Dawson laughed. “Good, then we’re doing something right!” Julie said.
“When are we going to decorate the cookies?”
“We’re going to start right now. Come on. I’ll show you what to do.”
* * *
Colleen and Tucker sat at the table with her mother, Dawson and Dylan. She couldn’t even count how many cookies were on the table. Sprinkles were everywhere, and Julie had given up trying to pick them up off the floor. She said the robotic vacuum would figure it out later.