by Brenda Novak
“Maybe you only thought you saw her there,” Olivia said.
Brandon got up and put his arm around his wife. “I’m sorry, honey. I know you don’t want to think she could do something this terrible, not when you two are finally getting along. But she’s not a normal person. She doesn’t care how her actions affect others, takes no responsibility for what she does. I could honestly imagine her torching Kyle’s plant.”
Olivia gave him a pleading look. “Don’t assume she’s guilty until we have proof, okay? Kyle was distraught when he thought he saw her. He could’ve been wrong. I’m telling you, she was very convincing on the phone.”
Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep his irritation at bay a little longer. “Because she’s a good liar. She’s always been a good liar.”
“It could’ve been someone else you saw,” Olivia insisted.
“It could’ve been.” Kyle put his glass aside. “But it wasn’t.”
22
By the time Brandon and Olivia left, Lourdes was exhausted, but she couldn’t relax. Kyle was too keyed up. She could sense his agitation, could almost feel the air crackle with his pent-up energy—and all the things they weren’t saying only made it worse. She wanted to blame his dark mood on the fire, but she could tell he had more on his mind. He scowled whenever he looked at her, as if she’d suddenly become his enemy instead of Noelle.
“Do you think we should talk about...what happened...before?” she asked.
“You mean when I had you naked beneath me? No.” His jaw remained hard as he reclaimed the glass he’d pushed aside a few minutes earlier and, every once in a while, a muscle twitched in his cheek.
She cleared her throat. “I know it must’ve been confusing, since...since it felt like there was a little more going on than either of us expected.”
“A little more?” His gaze locked onto hers like a heat-seeking missile. “Do you moan like that when you have sex with your other friends?” He shook his head. “God, the way you looked at me, the way you welcomed my finger inside you—”
“Stop!” Embarrassed, she smoothed down her sweater. “I thought you’d be the one to understand how casual worked. You couldn’t have been in love with that woman who tattooed your name on her arm after only a few dates, and yet you slept with her. I’ve never slept with anyone I wasn’t in a committed relationship with. I was just trying to...to establish an understanding between us, to make it possible for us to have what we both wanted.”
“Yeah, well, after all that talk about how it didn’t mean anything, you surprised me.”
“You surprised me, too!” But what more could they have done to protect themselves? It wasn’t her fault their lovemaking hadn’t gone according to plan, wasn’t her fault that the moment he touched her, everything they’d said at the door had fallen away as if it was the words and not the actions that had no meaning. There’d been no emotional distance between them at all, which had spooked her as much as it had spooked him.
“Forget I brought it up,” she said. “I thought... I thought we could clear the air, but you’re obviously not ready.”
“I can’t imagine why,” he muttered sarcastically.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
“Nothing. I don’t want anything from you. Go to bed.”
She didn’t leave. She felt too bad about everything.
After waiting for several seconds, she tried to get him talking about something else. “It was nice of Brandon and Olivia to come by.”
He made a sound of agreement, but that was it. Then he got up to pour himself another drink—only this time he carried the bottle back to the couch with him.
“It’s getting late,” she said.
He had no response to that, either—except to toss back what was in his glass and to pour another shot. She got up and walked over.
His eyebrows rose when she grabbed the bottle, which he hadn’t yet put down.
“Are you sure you want to go on drinking?” she asked. “Facing the damage at the plant tomorrow won’t be hard enough?”
She thought he might jerk the bottle out of her hand. He had that right. It wasn’t her place to tell him what to do. But she was only trying to take care of him, and he seemed to understand, because after a few seconds, he cursed under his breath but allowed her to move the bottle out of reach.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” She pulled him to his feet and led him to his room, where he fell back on the mattress, fully dressed.
After removing his boots, she was about to cover him up, but the way he was staring at her held her in place. “What?” she said.
“So are you going to let me fuck you or not?” he asked.
Her breath caught. “You think talking like that’s going to take the meaning out of it?”
His eyes glittered with hurt and anger. “I can show you how it works when it doesn’t mean anything,” he said, pulling her on top of him.
When she didn’t refuse, didn’t attempt to get up, he unzipped her jeans. “Tell me silence means yes.”
She closed her eyes. She should refuse, but it was the last thing she wanted to do. If she left his room right now, she knew she’d probably just come back in five minutes—or less—and by then he might have passed out. “Yes,” she murmured.
He quickly dispensed with their clothes, but instead of kissing her and holding her as he’d done before, instead of engaging his tongue and his hands and his voice, he put on a condom and turned her onto her stomach.
He didn’t want to feel any tenderness, she realized. He was searching only for physical release—and she wasn’t opposed to letting him have it. She wanted to feel him inside her as much as he wanted to be there, even if it had to be like this.
But everything moved too fast for her to feel satisfied. The feral intensity was exciting, unlike anything she’d ever experienced before—except that when he finished, she felt a strange sort of disappointment.
Since he was done with her, she started to get up. She’d known what he was going through tonight—how upset he was and how much alcohol he’d had. She figured she had no right to be surprised or offended, since he’d delivered exactly what he’d promised. She was the one who’d agreed to settle for whatever he was willing to give, which was why it startled her when he slipped an arm around her waist, lifted her back onto the mattress and pinned her down.
He stared at her, wearing a fathomless expression on his face. She thought she saw some regret there and was hoping he’d soften—kiss her and caress her as he’d done before.
But he didn’t. He held her hands above her head as he suckled her breasts. Then he ran his lips down her stomach, kissing and biting her.
Lourdes gasped as he raised her legs over his shoulders and held them there. He wouldn’t let her move, wouldn’t let her withdraw from him. He’d taken control. But she didn’t want to escape him...
She writhed on his bed, her hands clutching the bedding as his mouth brought her to a quick and powerful climax.
* * *
Although Lourdes had seen plenty of animalistic, rip-your-clothes-off sex depicted in the movies, she’d never experienced it firsthand. Not until tonight. She had to admit there was a certain eroticism to it. Still, she preferred the gentleness with which Kyle had touched her before the fire. But he’d been out to make a point, and she couldn’t deny he’d done a good job of it.
When she tried to return to her own bed, once again he caught her by the waist, and this time he pulled her back against him.
She told herself she’d stay until he fell asleep and then she’d go back to her own room. Given the temporary nature of their relationship, she didn’t think it was wise to cuddle up with him. That would only defeat the purpose of making love so forcefully and fast and devoid of any endearments.
But she was tired, too. And the warmth of his body provided such a comfortable place to sleep that she soon felt too languid to move. It wasn’t until early the next morning, when there seemed to be several people banging on the front door and ringing the bell at the same time, that she opened her eyes and realized she was still in his bed.
Roused by the noise, he got up and grabbed some clothes. Then he took one look at her and scowled as if he wasn’t too happy to see her.
She tugged the blankets up and scowled right back at him. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to run out and tattoo your name on my arm or anything. You made sure I couldn’t mistake ‘fucking’ for ‘making love.’”
He pushed a hand through his hair. It was sticking up on one side, and yet he still managed to look sexy. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m sort of an all-or-nothing person.”
“I didn’t ask you to show me what nothing was like,” she said. “I was just putting you to bed. What happened after that was your idea.”
“I know. And I’m afraid it wasn’t a very good one.”
“You’d been drinking. Should I have refused?”
“Not because I’d been drinking. I’m not blaming that. Or you.”
“But you’re not happy about last night.”
“How could I be? I was an asshole.”
“People do weird things when they don’t want to get hurt. But just so you know... I don’t want to get hurt, either.” He’d been vulnerable when they were together before the fire, feeling more than he should. They both had. So she didn’t find it such a shock that after the fire he’d try to get what he wanted while also trying to erect the barriers he felt would keep him safe. “Anyway, as far as ‘fucking’ goes, that wasn’t bad.”
He shot her a glance but said nothing, just got dressed.
“Okay, fine,” she said. “Maybe I should make things easier on both of us. Would you like me to move to the farmhouse today?”
Without bothering to put on the shirt in his hand, he swung around to face her. “No, I wouldn’t. After what someone did to my plant, I don’t want you by yourself anywhere. Do you understand?”
“Meaning you think Noelle might try to hurt me...”
“Meaning you don’t go anywhere without me until we figure out what’s going on.”
“Kyle!” someone called—a female voice Lourdes didn’t recognize.
“Who’s that?” she asked.
He yanked on his shirt and checked his watch. “It’s Eve. I get together with my friends every Friday morning at the coffee shop. I’m guessing that when I didn’t show up today, they decided to come here. Brandon and Olivia must’ve told them about the fire.”
Someone banged on the door. “Hello? Open up! Baxter’s in town, man!” This was a male voice...
“Coming!” Kyle yelled as he buttoned his jeans.
Lourdes drew the blankets even higher. “Have you mentioned a Baxter to me?”
“I doubt it. He’s one of my best friends, but he’s been living in San Francisco.” His voice softened slightly as he paused at the door. “You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to,” he said, then stalked down the hall.
A moment later, the noise of quite a few people filling the house rose to Lourdes’s ears. Jeez, how many friends did Kyle have?
She told herself she’d stay out of sight, as he’d suggested. She wasn’t that pleased with him this morning, no matter what excuse he had to be out of sorts. What he was feeling for her couldn’t be any more complicated than what she was feeling for him. But she heard several people ask about her. Then a baby cried and she could tell it was a very new baby.
Callie had obviously come with her infant son...
Scooting down in the bed, Lourdes pulled the covers over her head to block out the sound. She didn’t want to think about babies. Chances were, her life wouldn’t include them. Especially now. There were too many things she had to put right in her career. But when four or five people lamented that they wouldn’t get to meet her, she felt selfish and guilty for avoiding them.
Planning to slip into the bathroom to clean up before presenting herself, she got out of bed and put on the jeans and sweater she’d been wearing when she went to the fire last night. But her makeup and hair products weren’t in the master suite, and there was a man coming down the hallway, probably on his way to the bathroom, who saw her the instant she emerged from Kyle’s room.
He grinned. “You must be Lourdes.”
* * *
Kyle was surprised when Lourdes appeared. He hadn’t expected her to brave the crowd, especially since she hadn’t had a chance to shower or change. He could tell she was more than a little self-conscious and could understand why, seeing that she’d just come from his bed. Not only was her hair tangled, she was wearing the same clothes she’d had on last night. And when Brandon nudged him, Kyle knew his brother had noticed.
“It’s getting serious between you two, huh?” Brandon whispered.
Kyle didn’t have a chance to respond. She’d walked out with Noah, who said, “Look who I found.”
“Lourdes!” Eve exclaimed. “You really are in town. I was beginning to wonder if Kyle was having delusions of grandeur.”
She chuckled at Eve’s joke. “I’m sorry I haven’t been friendlier. I’ve been...busy. But if you’ll just give me a minute to wash my face and brush my teeth, I’ll be right out.”
When she ducked into the bathroom, all of his friends turned to gape at him. “Wow, this is for real, dude!” Riley murmured. “You’re with Lourdes Bennett.”
“That was Lourdes Bennett?” Baxter said. “The Lourdes Bennett?”
Brandon looked confused. “We told you at Black Gold that Kyle’s been seeing her.”
“I figured Kyle would call me with the news.” He folded his arms. “And I haven’t heard from him.”
“It’s not serious,” Kyle said. “She’s going back to Nashville as soon as she finishes writing her new album.”
“But it was the fact that you two are together that set Noelle off?” Cheyenne asked.
Olivia immediately took umbrage. “Whoa, we don’t know that Noelle started the fire at the plant.”
Cheyenne reared back, shock on her face. “Is that even a possibility? I was referring to the fight she got into the other night at Sexy Sadie’s. Yesterday I heard Genevieve Salter telling the checker at Nature’s Way all about how Noelle attacked her.”
Olivia turned beet red. “Oh. No. Never mind.”
They all looked to Kyle to explain. But he didn’t want to accuse Olivia’s sister without some sort of proof, other than having spotted her at the fire. She drove past his house all the time. Now that he had a fresh perspective and a cooler head, he could agree that she might just have been doing more of her stalking bullshit. In the light of day, it sounded like a stretch that she—or anyone else he knew—would purposely set fire to his plant. “We don’t know what happened,” he said. “Not yet.”
Lourdes came out of the bathroom before they could press him for details. She hadn’t bothered to shower or put on any makeup, but she’d twisted her hair into a messy bun. Kyle thought she looked breathtaking, as always, and wanted to kick himself for the way he’d treated her last night. Clearly, she understood how difficult the situation was for him; if she’d been offended by his behavior, maybe she would’ve given him the breathing room he needed to overcome what he was feeling.
Kyle cleared his throat to alert them that she was ready and began the introductions. But all his friends had spouses, except Baxter, which meant he was probably presenting her with more names than she’d ever be able to remember. “This is Dylan and Cheyenne and their boy, Kellan,” he said. “And this is Baxter, our friend who just moved home from San Francisco.” She knew Brandon and Olivia, but Noah and Addy, Callie and Levi, Sophia and Ted�
�whose hot tub they’d secretly used—Eve and Lincoln and their two-month-old and Phoenix and Riley were also there.
Lourdes was polite to everyone, but she seemed to be most taken with Callie’s newborn, since Eve’s was asleep in his carrier. “Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son,” she said to Callie.
“Thank you.” Callie gave her a proud smile. “Would you like to hold him?”
Lourdes’s eyes widened. “Um, actually, that might not be the best thing. I mean, he’s so tiny and...and fragile.”
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Callie said. “Just hold him in the crook of your elbow, like this.”
Although Lourdes allowed Callie to put the sleeping child in her arms, she gazed down at Aiden as if he terrified her. Kyle was planning to rescue her by taking the baby, but she seemed to grow more comfortable as the minutes ticked by. After they talked about her music and her career and Angel’s Camp, where she grew up, she faded into the background. Kyle saw her sit on the couch, put the baby on her lap and stare at him as if she’d never seen such a miracle—as if she was thoroughly...enchanted.
The sight didn’t do much to help him, however. He’d convinced himself that he was going to embrace his bachelorhood, but spending another five years alone didn’t sound quite so exciting right now. Maybe it’d be easier if he lived in a big city, where there were more things to do. But he’d been raised in a small town, where daily life was all about friends and family—and he wanted to have a family, too.
He had always thought he’d be married—and be a father—by the time he turned thirty, and here he was approaching forty.
After they discussed the fact that he wouldn’t really know how the fire got started until after they’d done an investigation, and Riley had assured him that he’d shuffle his schedule around to rebuild whenever Kyle needed him, they talked to Baxter about his move and how his father was doing. He’d given up a lucrative job as a stockbroker in San Francisco to do some day trading on the internet. He wanted to be able to spend some time with his father, who’d been diagnosed with prostate cancer last summer. Mr. North wasn’t responding well to treatment, which was a concern. But so was the fact that Baxter and his father didn’t get along. Mr. North had never accepted Baxter’s lifestyle. After Baxter came out of the closet, his father refused to speak to him for quite some time.