For Better, For Worse

by Rebecca Winters

  She raised one hand to shield her eyes from the sun’s rays. Looking up at him, she suddenly felt the breath squeezed out of her when his black eyes impaled her with a lightning glance. It was as if all his life’s force and energy swirled in those depths, like thunderheads gathering for a tempest.

  Something had happened to him while he was out riding, making him more suspicious of her than ever. She could feel it. His penetrating gaze took in her delicate features flushed by the sun, the shape of her body outlined by the sweat-dampened clothes, the gold of her curls tousled by the hot breeze. He seemed to resent the very look of her. “Did you want something, mi esposa?”

  He delivered his words with a sting that made her wince. “I was out taking a walk when I saw you. Don’t you think you should come back to the house now and rest? I’m quite sure Dr. Penman didn’t expect you to go riding this soon.”

  “I told you last night I don’t require a nurse.”

  Her throat was painfully dry, and she couldn’t quite control the quavering of her voice. “It’s because I love you that I’m concerned. This heat is oppressive. Let’s go back home together and enjoy a late lunch. Now that you’ve had a little tour of the estate with Rodrigo, I want to know what you’re thinking and feeling.”

  “If you’re asking me if I remember anything, the answer is no.”

  She tried to ignore his insensitive comment. “I—I thought you might feel like company.”

  “I’ve had a surfeit of it all morning, so I have to presume you’re talking about something slightly more…intimate.”

  “No. Not—not now.” Her voice caught on the words and a rush of heat stained her cheeks. “Don’t misunderstand me. I want to make love with you. I’ve wanted it from the first moment we met. But I’m talking about companionship, about being your friend until you can make sense of things.”

  One corner of his mouth curved in mockery. “What you ask is impossible. Let me know when that finally gets through to you. Tell my mother I will join her for dinner this evening.”

  She felt as if he’d slapped her. “I’m afraid you’ll have to tell her yourself, since I won’t be home until late.” She said the first thing that came into her mind. Wheeling around, she broke into a run and headed for the hacienda in the far distance, ignoring the heat.

  Rafe called out, demanding to know where she was going, but Kit ignored him. In fact, she didn’t care if all the men in the tack room were witness to the spectacle. If, through the house staff, Rafe’s mother already knew that Kit and Rafe slept in separate beds, then by now it was common knowledge on the estate.

  After today, the men would see for themselves that the recent marriage of the patrón to the American woman who had caused the trouble with Jaime was already in a precarious state. What an irony, when she and Rafe hadn’t even been home twenty-four hours.

  Dr. Penman had said she’d get angry, but he didn’t know the half of it!

  Chapter Eight

  FOR THE NEXT three days Kit saw her husband only at dinner, which was a taciturn affair since Dona Gabriella was forced to initiate any conversation. Rafe’s responses were polite but brief, and each night he excused himself after the coffee and liqueurs had been served.

  In the mornings he left the hacienda long before Kit was up. He didn’t return to his bedroom until she’d gone to bed in the study.

  During the day Kit filled her time by borrowing Rafe’s blue Mercedes and driving into Rota to visit with friends on the base and do a little shopping. That was what she’d done the afternoon of their confrontation, too, staying out for a late dinner and coming home close to midnight. Rafe was already asleep.

  On the fourth morning, Dona Gabriella called to Kit as she prepared to leave the house. “If I may have a word with you?”

  Kit nodded and paused on the bottom step of the staircase. She could see the older woman’s anxiety and understood her feelings only too well. The situation was becoming explosive. “I called Jaime and he’s arriving some time this afternoon.”

  Kit could hardly refrain from embracing her mother-in-law. “I knew he wouldn’t refuse you,” she whispered in an emotional voice. “That’s wonderful.”

  Dona Gabriella kept kneading her hands. “It may turn out to be a tragic mistake.”

  “No.” Kit shook her head. “You don’t really believe that and neither do I. Now that you’ve told me, I’m going to drive to Seville and visit with the psychiatrist I mentioned to you earlier. I think I’ll stay overnight to give Jaime and Rafe a chance to talk.”

  “That is a good idea, but my son wouldn’t approve of you driving that far alone. I will call Diego and ask him to fly you there. He will be at your disposal. My son keeps a permanent suite at the Prado, so you don’t have to worry about making accommodations. If you need to buy anything, he has accounts in all the good shops.”

  “But the distance is nothing if that’s what you’re worried about!” Kit exclaimed, fearing Rafe’s reaction. “Back in America I’ve driven thousands of miles alone.”

  “You’re the wife of Rafael de Mendez y Lucar now, and can no longer behave in such a manner.”

  “But he might get angry when he finds out I’ve been with Diego.” Deciding to tell the truth, she said, “Before we left Idaho, Rafe accused me of being interested in his pilot.”

  The older woman’s eyes flashed. “So my son’s feelings for you aren’t as dead as he would have me believe.”

  “Oh, yes.” Kit’s voice trembled. “They are. Very dead.”

  “Nonsense,” she scoffed. “Do you think for one minute that my son would have let you come back to Spain with him or would have allowed you to sleep in his apartment if he didn’t want you there? He follows you with his eyes when you’re not watching. I would like to see his expression when I tell him you’ve flown to Seville with Diego. I know my Rafael. He is not indifferent to you. He never was,” she admitted in a strained voice.

  Kit felt a closeness to Dona Gabriella she hadn’t experienced before. “I’ll hurry and get ready.”

  “While you pack, I’ll telephone Diego. Luis will drive you to the airport.”

  Before dashing up the stairs, Kit reached out and patted the older woman’s arm. “You must be so excited to see Jaime again. I’ll pray that everything goes well.”

  Rafe’s mother lifted pained eyes to Kit. “We will need the help of the Holy Virgin herself.” Her lower lip quivered. “If there is a reconciliation, I will have you to thank,” she added, filling Kit with the small hope that the two women could become friends.

  Within twenty minutes, Luis had brought the limousine out front and Dona Gabriella waved Kit off. When they reached the airport, Kit thanked Luis, then talked Diego into bringing his wife and children along.

  He objected, at first, that the señor might not approve, but she told him he was as much her employee as Rafe’s and that she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She also told him she didn’t mind waiting at the hangar until he could make all the arrangements.

  Two hours later, the five of them were on their way to Seville. After getting acquainted with Diego’s charming wife, Maria, Kit spent the rest of the day and evening playing with their two-and four-year-old children in Rafe’s private suite, while the Silvas enjoyed some much-needed time alone.

  The diversion helped Kit relax and keep her mind off of the situation at the hacienda. If she’d been alone with her thoughts, she would have gone crazy.

  At ten the next morning, she met with Dr. Perez and they discussed Rafe’s case in detail. He assured her things were progressing very well, citing instances of amnesiacs who went into severe depressions and refused to leave the hospital or the bedroom. The fact that Rafe was eating well and enjoyed getting out to spend time with his horses, if nothing else, showed he was in good mental health. He urged Kit never to give up hope and to continue doing exactly what she was doing.

  Cheered by his optimism, Kit persuaded Maria to go shopping with her while Diego tended the children. When the
y returned to the hotel several hours later, their arms were laden with packages and toys, and Kit felt she’d made lifelong friends of the Silvas.

  It wasn’t until they flew over Jerez with its tiled roofs burnished by the last golden rays of the sun that reaction to what might be awaiting her at the hacienda set in. She felt weak and nauseated and could only hope Rafe and Jaime hadn’t come to blows.

  Diego had phoned ahead to make certain Luis was there to meet Kit. But it wasn’t the silver-haired Spaniard waiting outside the hangar when Kit emerged from the plane carrying her overnight bag and packages. It was her husband.

  Her eyes fastened on him as he got out of his Mercedes wearing a dark, sea-green suit and tie. He strode toward her with a look of tightly controlled rage. Kit was so surprised to see him, so thrilled to think he’d come for her no matter the reason that she couldn’t form words.

  “I trust you’ve been enjoying yourself,” he bit out. Grabbing hold of her elbow, he jerked her closer to him. “Of course it was too much to expect my wife to let me know she was leaving town. With my pilot, no less.”

  Kit hadn’t imagined the possessiveness of his touch or his words. He was jealous! She felt ecstasy and chagrin in equal parts.

  “Since I haven’t chosen to do so,” he muttered contemptuously, “did Diego accommodate your needs?”

  Kit would have responded, but Maria cried out excitedly, “Señor Mendez!”

  Rafe’s head swiveled around in stunned surprise as the attractive young brunette stepped from the plane carrying a sleepy Pedro in her arms. Diego was close behind with fiery little Anita on his shoulders.

  They rushed toward Rafe and both talked to him at once, their faces glowing. Diego introduced his wife, since he knew Rafe couldn’t remember her. Their Spanish was so rapid that Kit despaired of ever truly picking up the language. She stood a little distance apart, watching Rafe’s expression soften as he warmed to their friendliness and held Anita. According to Diego, their little girl adored Rafe, and Kit could believe it by the way she threw herself into his arms, patting his bronzed cheeks in delight, reciting every detail of their overnight outing.

  In fact, the scene brought a lump to Kit’s throat that wouldn’t go away even after everyone had said goodbye and Rafe had helped her into the car.

  But the second they were alone, Rafe’s face sobered and he looked over at her with accusing eyes. “I’m not going to apologize. You left the hacienda without a word to anyone. If Luis hadn’t mentioned where he’d taken you yesterday, we would have had to call in the police. What was so important that you had to fly to Seville and spend the night?”

  Dona Gabriella hadn’t told him!

  “I decided to see Dr. Perez, but he couldn’t fit me in until this morning.”

  Rafe’s hand tightened on the steering wheel. She could see the white of his knuckles. “I’m the one with the memory loss, not you.”

  “Everyone could use the services of a good psychiatrist once in a while. I wanted some advice.”

  There was an ominous pause. “And did you get it?”

  “Yes.”

  With a grimace he started the powerful car and drove away from the hangar onto the main road. “Don’t you want to know what has been happening during your absence, or do you no longer care?”

  His question triggered a sense of panic, and she had to fight to remain composed. “You sound as if there’s something wrong. Nothing has happened to your mother?” In truth, she was worried sick about Dona Gabriella.

  “Jaime came home yesterday,” he muttered beneath his breath.

  Adrenaline spilled into her system. “That must have been a shock to you. H-How is he?”

  She heard his quick intake of breath. “Nicer, quieter than I had imagined. Very much like our mother and painfully honest. We talked into the night. You and I hurt him.”

  “I know,” she said in a faint whisper, “but never on purpose.”

  “He’s a finer man than I will ever be.”

  Kit frowned. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because if I had lost you to him, I wouldn’t be able to forgive such a betrayal, much less bear the sight of either one of you.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I’ve learned things about myself in the past twenty-four hours. Apparently there’s a great deal more of my father in me than I had supposed. You spoke the truth at the hospital. But the facts were unpleasant, and I chose not to believe you.”

  “That’s understandable, Rafe. I was a stranger to you. But please don’t be so hard on yourself. Families are complicated, even the most normal and well-adjusted families. Nothing is black and white.”

  “The Mendez dynasty does not fit the profile of what one would call a normal family.” He paused for a long, tense moment. “What’s really ugly about this is that having learned the truth, I know in my gut I’d hurt Jaime all over again to have what I wanted.”

  Her heart thudded sickeningly in her chest. “There’s one thing you’re forgetting. Jaime thought he loved me, but I never once said I loved him. What you and I felt for each other was instantaneous and inevitable. That’s not betrayal.”

  While they were stopped at a red light, he turned to her. In the darkness his eyes gleamed like hot coals. “Jaime is moving back to the hacienda to take over the reins of the business before it starts to crumble. My mother tells me there’s a vintage fair in a few weeks. I promised her I would stay home long enough to celebrate with the family, then I plan to leave.”

  Kit knew better than to argue with him in this mood. “Where will you go?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  The light turned green and they sped away from the city. Kit felt ill and didn’t realize where they were headed until he pulled up to a small roadside inn on the outskirts.

  “Why are we stopping here?”

  Tension again filled the car. “To be honest, I want to make love to you. And prefer to do it away from the hacienda.”

  Until she got off the plane an hour before, Kit would have rejoiced at his words. but everything had changed drastically since then. The blood pounded in her ears. “You mean, now that you know I’m not a liar, you’ve decided you want me.”

  “Actually, I’ve wanted you since our first conversation in my hospital room. When I heard you’d gone off with Diego, I discovered that I didn’t like the idea of your sleeping with anyone but me. I’ve been anticipating your return with more eagerness than I would have thought possible.”

  But he hadn’t mentioned one word of love. Kit had thought she’d be willing to do anything to keep Rafe, but without the love and sharing she craved, what hope did they have for a real marriage?

  Trying to sound calm, she said, “Unfortunately, your behavior at the hangar hurt me a great deal. The Rafe I knew before the accident would never have accused his wife and loyal friend of conducting a tawdry affair behind his back. I couldn’t make love to you now.”

  “We’ll see,” was all he said before starting the car. It sounded like a threat.

  Chapter Nine

  THE MOMENT they returned to the house, Kit jumped from the car and, without waiting for Rafe, hurried inside. She learned from Consuela that Jaime was at the main shed going over the books with Rodrigo. Dona Gabriella had retired for the night.

  The news came as a great relief to Kit, who was in no state of mind to face either of them. She dashed up the stairs, anxious to be alone where she could decide what to do about an increasingly impossible situation.

  During the drive to the airport Luis had informed her that before retiring, the señor always spent his time grooming the horses. She assumed Rafe would head for the stables as usual and she would have the apartment to herself.

  First, she needed a long shower. After that, she put on a pair of cotton pajamas and her robe, then brushed her teeth. Her curls were damp and would only take a few minutes to dry.

  Turning off the light, she emerged from the bathroom but came to a sudden standstill. Rafe
blocked her way to the study. He’d changed out of his suit and into a knee-length paisley robe she hadn’t seen before, one that revealed the dark hair on his chest. His unconscious sensuality lowered her defenses as nothing else could.

  “I—I didn’t expect you to come back to the apartment this early. I’m sorry if you wanted the bathroom. It’s free now,” she mumbled unnecessarily.

  “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  Her mouth went dry. “If you don’t mind, I’m tired and I’d like to go to bed.”

  “My sentiments exactly.”

  Something in his tone made her legs feel weak and trembling. “You’re in my way.”

  His eyes narrowed on her mouth. “I don’t think so. It’s time you slept in a real bed, with your husband.”

  “I prefer the couch,” she answered in a less-than-steady voice.

  “I don’t suppose it matters where we sleep tonight, because I intend to make love to you,” he stated before moving toward her with purpose.

  Kit started to back up and felt the footboard of his bed against her legs. “I made my feelings clear in the car.”

  “So did I.” In the next instant his hands slid up her arms and he began caressing her shoulders, drawing her closer with each movement. “I’ve been thinking of nothing but your mouth, your beautiful body…” His tone was passionate, reminding her of Rafe before he’d lost his memory.

  She could no longer remember why she was fighting him. He lowered his head, and Kit’s parted mouth rushed to meet his in a cataclysm of feeling that left her clinging to him. His low moan traveled through her body, arousing her to a fever pitch, engulfing her until she had no will of her own.

  His lips roamed over her face and throat with a voracious hunger. His mouth became the center of her universe, the focus of her sensations.

  Kit was scarcely aware of her robe sliding to the floor or Rafe’s strong arms carrying her to the bed, so caught up was she in the sheer excitement of his touch.