by Suze Reese
I wrapped my arms around my knees.
When Geery spoke again, it was in a deep exaggerated voice.
I smiled to myself.
I lingered on the lounge chair and watched the rising sun reflect orange on the surface of the pool, considering what Geery had said. I wanted to just disregard it all.
If only she weren’t so right.
Somewhere on Nreim was a perfect, three-hundred-point-match linkmate preparing himself just for me. As hard as that was to fathom, I had to remember him. And to prepare myself for him. Just like I’d been taught since I was too young to understand.
It occurred to me that this must be the real reason human males were so off-limits. They weren’t bound by their genetics to wait until full maturation to fall in love.
Which made perfect sense. It explained why sending teenagers was such a big deal. And why there were so many rules designed to keep me isolated. Even why they’d chosen the least appealing candidate—to better the odds that no one would be attracted to me.
But it didn’t matter. The problem would be solved by Sunday evening when Mom came home. She’d know instantly that something was wrong. If I weren’t sent home for going to the party, I certainly would be for allowing Jesse to spend the night.
And that was fine with me. I rose and stepped into the house, which was unnaturally dark and gloomy after being in the sunshine. My parents would be disappointed. But they’d get over it. Some day I’d forget the way Jesse made me feel. Maybe this love of Jesse’s was nothing compared to that of my linkmate.
I remembered the feeling from last night and shivered. I couldn’t imagine anything better.
But most importantly, Jesse would be able to use his big heart to fall in love with someone else. Someone with the freedom to love him back. I returned to his former spot on the couch, buried my head into the cushion, and awaited Mom’s return.
Otherwise known as the end of the world.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I remained on the couch almost the entire weekend—only arising to attend to pesky human needs, made worse now that I wasn’t on my cube diet. Sometime Sunday evening—or maybe it was Monday morning—Mom nudged me and told me to go to bed. I arose, too delirious from hunger and thirst to think about arguing.
I awoke with a start the next morning at the sound of Mom moving about the house. I held my breath. If Mom had sensed anything last night she could have just thought I was having an emotional dream. Mom opened the door a crack. I closed my eyes and held still. I remembered the bruise on my neck, but didn’t dare make the movements necessary to cover it. A message came by stream. I ignored it, as though I were sleeping. My eyelids fluttered nervously.
The door closed quietly.
I exhaled and opened the waiting message:
I didn’t know what to think. Or what to do. I could just stream Mom and confess everything. But why get myself into trouble if I didn’t have to?
I was still dazed when I found myself at the doorway of my first period class, face to face with Everett. The world hadn’t ended. And I wasn’t sure why. Everett smiled and bowed gallantly, his abhorrence for me as strong as ever. My hand went to my neck, to cover the aching bruise. I had a new appreciation for cell regenerators. I had no idea pain could last this long.
“Thanks for coming to my party,” he said.
I swallowed and dashed past him into the room. I wished he could feel that my revulsion was as strong as his. He followed seconds later with one arm around Lacey and another around Dionne. Lacey eventually sat in the desk in front of me. Dionne and Everett selected seats in the row next to us. I leaned forward—my gaze on Everett—to whisper in Lacey’s ear. “Lacey, please be careful. He’s dangerous.”
Lacey didn’t even turn around. Seconds later, my phone vibrated. I tried to keep my head up while glancing at it. >>He told me all about the party. He even said you’d say that.
I stared at the back of Lacey’s head for a long moment, then put my head on my desk and tried to ignore all of them. The sound of Everett’s easy deep laughter—followed by girls giggling—was enough to make me wish I could scream. I didn’t even pay attention to Dr. Tom—my reason for being there.
I dragged my feet to my next class. There was only one person at the school I wanted to see. And common sense told me to stay away. The less involved I got with Jesse the better it would be for both of us. I should have just stayed home and waited for Mom.
“Hey wait up!” Lacey called from behind. I pretended not to hear. “Mira!” It was Lacey’s voice, but to my surprise Everett’s arm came around my shoulder. Lacey was on his other side. I planted my feet and stooped over, so his arm passed over my head.
“Oh come on, just come with us.” Everett stretched his free arm towards me.
“No, really.” I took another wide step to the side to avoid Everett. As I did, I stepped into an invisible aromatic cloud I’d spent the weekend dreaming about. An instant later I collided with Jesse. Lacey giggled as she and Everett continued on their way.
“There you are.” Jesse linked his arm through mine and pulled me off the walkway. Then dropped his arms, embarrassed by what I assumed was his boldness. “How are you?”
I took a deep breath—and almost staggered at the intensity of it. Even stronger than I remembered. “I’m good,” I said. Now. I kept my gaze down, staring at his shoes once again. I’d never pull myself away if I looked into his eyes.
“I…I didn’t like leaving you alone,” he said. “But I didn’t know…I wasn’t sure…if I should…”
The bell rang. He sighed and shuffled his feet uncomfortably.
“It’s okay,” I said, glancing at the closing door. “It was really nice of you to stay with me.” I shifted my own feet and fidgeted with my hands in my pockets until the second bell rang. “We should go,” I whispered. I turned away and braced myself. Then stepped outside of the sweet-smelling cloud.
“If you want to report him,” Jesse said. “I’d support you.”
I stopped walking, confused.
“I’d tell the police what I saw.”
My stomach dropped at the word police. “No,” I said without turning around. He’d mentioned it at my house. But I’d been too consumed with him to notice.
“He shouldn’t be able to get away with what he did.”
I shook my head. “No.”
He stepped close again. Touched my fingers with his own. An electric shock raced up my arm. I kept my breath shallow. Tried not to lean back, closer to him.
“If he won’t leave you alone,” he said. “I…I…might have to hurt him.”
The sound of chords drifted out from the music room. Mr. Chavez was taking roll in his booming voice. I heard Everett’s name. Then Jesse’s. “No police,” I said firmly. I pulled my hand away and started to the classroom. Then called over my shoulder, smiling: “But I really don’t care if you hurt him.”
His returned smile told me he knew I was kidding. And sent a thrill up my spine.
The rest of the day was spent in an even greater state of awareness of Jesse’s presence than the week before. He appeared in places
I didn’t usually see him. Heading to class when I went to lunch. Near his locker on my way to math. He was all I could think about in art history—sitting two rows over and one desk back. It was an effort to keep my gaze trained forward on Dr. Alison.
I knew that if I had any sense I’d just go home and skip work—now that the barrier that had kept Jesse at a safe five-foot distance was down. But I was compelled to stay. Like an insect is drawn to the light that could kill it.
Geery sent a stream while I vacuumed, at what had become our usual time—right before Geery went to bed. I was met with a reggae tune that I’d recognize anywhere.
I picked up a large garbage bag and hoisted it over my shoulder, trying to come up with a witty and sarcastic reply.
I dropped the bag outside the door.
I flipped on my vacuum.
I gulped and tried to soften my tone.
Jesse walked past the room I was in and glanced inside. I shivered. And realized just how ludicrous those words were. I wasn’t fine at all.
Jesse was waiting when I took my trash to the bin. I approached with a large trash bag in each hand and the nerves in my stomach doing a wild dance.
Jesse took one of the bags and tossed it in the dumpster. “So…,” he said. “I was thinking maybe I could drive you home today. Since…you know my secret.”
I tossed the other bag into the dumpster. “Your secret?” I repeated. I knew which one he meant—that he’d been following me home—but his sudden embarrassment told me we were both thinking of his other one. “I can’t,” I said quickly.
“Why not?”
“Jesse…” I kept my head down. “It’s not a good idea…to…be with me.”
He stepped close. “Just a ride home. To keep you safe.”
I turned my head away, rubbing my arms. I should step back. Shouldn’t have come to school. Shouldn’t allow this sensation to affect my judgment…
“There are a lot of sickos around here. More than you’re used to in Albuquerque, or you’d know it’s not safe to walk home at the same time every day by yourself.”
I made the mistake of turning my head, looking at him. I nodded my consent. Before I knew it, I was following him to his car, letting him open the door for me. It seemed so normal. A boy and a girl riding together in a car. It happened every day. In the media. Maybe even on Earth. But not in real life.
I put as much distance as possible between us. But it didn’t help. Clear, rational thinking was impossible. “Thank you,” I said when he pulled up to my house. I put my hand on the door handle. Told myself to pull on it.
“I…” Jesse started to say.
I turned my head away. I didn’t want to hear it. Whatever it was. This would all be over tonight. And none of it would matter.
“Are you…” he tried again.
I was too stunned to reply for a moment.
My hand fell from the door handle.
“Anyway…I’ll understand,” Jesse was saying.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Can you say that again?”
He furrowed his striking eyebrows. Shook his head. “I just wondered if you were busy… thought we could hang out. But if you don’t want to…”
“No,” I heard myself say. “I’m not busy.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I led Jesse through the side gate, directly into the backyard. Staying out of doors with Jesse was probably a silly precaution. But it was one less violation—in case it ever came down to a trial. And I was pleased when Becca came running through the gate behind us. Not that the council would be impressed with a human child as a chaperone. But still, another decrease in violations had to be good.
After Becca did a cannonball into the pool, I dropped onto the small patch of grass. Jesse sat next to me, stretching out his long legs. “So this is how you spend your free time?”
“Yep.” I pulled on a blade of grass, trying to look calm. But my mind was racing. I was getting in too deep. Breaking too many rules. First I’d let him stay the night because I’d just been attacked and was terrified. But what was my excuse now? Mom wasn’t home? I couldn’t say no to him? The council would never forgive me for this.
“This is quite the life.” His eyes were intense, studying me.
“Mmm,” I said, purposefully keeping my gaze on Becca.
“I guess you deserve it after a long day as a janitor.”
I laughed nervously. “That’s for sure.”
“I was a little skeptical when I heard you’d been hired.”
“Yeah?” I glanced up. His affectionate gaze hadn’t left my face. I snapped my attention back to Becca.
“But I’ve been impressed.”
The words filled me with warmth, the way his compliments always did. I scratched my arm and tried to look natural while scooting a safer distance away from him. Then steered the conversation away from myself. “So how long have you worked at the school?”
“Two years,” he said. “I took…a little break…at the end of last year. Fortunately Leo hired me back when school started.” His emotions sharpened suddenly. “I assume you’ve heard the rumors.”
I shrugged without taking my gaze off Becca, considering my response. “Some.”
“What have you heard?”
“Just like you said. Rumors. Nothing worth believing.”
He paused long enough that I couldn’t resist glancing at his face, which was somber.
“They’re probably true,” he finally said.
“Yeah?”
He was silent again for a long uncomfortable moment. “Does that bother you?”
I put my head in my arms. None of this should bother me, since none of it was part of my world. Very soon I’d go back to my real life, and this would just be a fond memory. But I couldn’t tell him any of that. “Only that it seems to bother you,” is what I said.
He studied me, his jaw set firm. “Does it…do I…scare you?”
I looked up at him and squinted into the sun, feeling surprisingly relaxed considering the tone of the conversation. “Sort of,” I whispered. “But not in the way you think.”
“What do you mean?”
I considered my answer carefully. “I guess…” I hesitated. “I’m afraid of how you make me feel. It’s so new.”
He grinned. Crooked and stunning. “That’s something I can relate to.”
I sensed that he wanted to touch me. And wished he would. It was strange, how much affection we had for one another when this was the first real conversation we’d ever had.
“You’re smiling.�
� Jesse touched the corner of my mouth.
I pulled away briefly from the intensity of his touch, then sank back into him. “Am I?”
His finger lightly caressed my cheek. He pulled his hand away, sighing, and wrapped his arms around his legs. “So tell me about Albuquerque.”
“Where?” My cheek and mouth tingled from the memory of his touch.
“Albuquerque.”
“Oh, yeah.” Albuquerque. I had to stay alert. “There’s not much to tell. Lots of cactus and sun.”
“Any beaches?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“Have you ever been to one?”
I remembered the trip I’d taken with my parents to the overlook of the Tiranim Coast and nodded.
“Which ones?”
“I don’t remember names,” I said with caution. “But they weren’t around here.”
“Then they don’t count.” He glanced at me nervously, then looked away. “Why don’t we go to Newport on Labor Day?”
There were too many things in that statement that I didn’t understand for me to come up with a suitable response. “Umm…”
“What do you think?”
“Is that a beach?”
He grinned. “Yeah. A real one. Water, waves, sand. You’ll love it. It even has a Ferris wheel.”
I knew what a Ferris wheel was, or thought I did. But they belonged in carnivals and fairs, not on beaches. “Is that one of those—” I started to form a circle with my hands, but stopped mid sentence.
Jesse smiled, one eyebrow cocked. “Don’t tell me you’ve never been on a Ferris wheel.”
I plucked another blade of grass and studied it, knowing better than to respond defensively. So much for being careful. “I guess I’m pretty sheltered,” I finally said.
“I guess we’d better do something about that,” Jesse responded. “So what do you say? Newport on Monday?”
Relieved he didn’t seem to think much of my blunder, I rolled onto my back, looking directly into the sun. What a fantasy. An entire day on a beach with Jesse. It sounded better than an entire chocolate cake all to myself. But I had to put a stop to this now. Before we both got hurt. “Jesse…” I sat up and crossed my legs in front of me. “I like you…a whole lot. I want you to know that.”