by Suze Reese
“Well, we can sense emotions for one.”
“Sense emotions? Like…how?”
I took his hand and put it to my nose, kissing it. “I can tell what you’re feeling just by being close.”
“Uh, I see…” He clearly didn’t.
“It’s kind of like a smell,” I continued, “in that it’s more concentrated when I breathe it in. But an emotional scent is not the same as an odor. It’s more of a solid entity. You don’t have to breathe it in, you can just feel it. Kind of like knowing how warm it is without knowing the exact temperature.”
“Wow.” He scratched his head, rolled onto his back and studied me. “So you know what I’m feeling right now?”
Still seated above him, I scooted close so I could pull his head onto my lap. “All one thousand and one emotions.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “You believe me, or really want to. But you’re not sure why, which makes you very confused. You’re very scared. And full of questions. Do I have that right?”
Jesse reached up and took my hand, stroking my fingers. He studied my face without answering for a long, quiet moment. “You said ‘for one’. What else can you do?”
I nodded, hesitant. Sensing emotions was the easy part. The others would be harder for him to understand or accept. “We don’t…exactly…need telephones.”
“Oh this is getting good!” He grinned and jumped up, sitting cross legged in front of me, then took my hands into his. “Please tell me you’re telepathic. Cause that would be so cool.”
I cringed. “Telepathic is just a word in your language that means communication with the mind that no one understands. We stream. It’s totally understandable and science based.”
Jessed smiled again. For some reason I sensed humor as his strongest emotion. “Okay, so you stream. What does that mean exactly?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. His anxiety levels had truly dropped, which was a huge relief. But the humor had me confused. “It’s purposeful.” I continued, a little too defensively. “Not just randomly perceiving other people’s thoughts, which is how it’s often portrayed in your media. We open electromagnetic communication streams to talk to one another. It’s like the radio waves you use except they’re like a million times more effective, if you know how to use them.”
“Okay,” he said. I sensed that he was a little disappointed with my answer. “But can you read minds? Do you know what I’m thinking?”
I shook my head. “I don’t. It would be wrong.”
“But you can?”
“Not with each other. If someone tried to read my mind, I’d recognize it and instinctively block them out. But since you wouldn’t know how to block me…I technically could read yours.”
“Wow.” Jesse released my hands. He looked as though he might touch my face, but instead put his hands in his lap and studied me thoughtfully. “So you can read my mind, but it’s like, unethical or something?”
“Exactly.”
He continued to watch me until I began to squirm nervously. “Do you have any more questions?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Where would I start?”
I wanted to smooth his hair. To touch his cheek. To run my finger along his lips. But I kept my hands to myself. “I’m sorry. I know this is kind of mind blowing.”
“That’s right. You can tell that. I guess you know I’m curious then, too.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Okay then. What about me and you?” He reached for my hand again, tracing my fingers with his own. “Why do I feel so drawn to you?”
Once again I didn’t answer right away. That really was a good question. Why was an adolescent human male so drawn to me? Why was I drawn to him? I wished more than anything that I knew. “Magnets, again,” I said.
“No, seriously. I will never believe that we’re just a couple of magnets.”
I ignored his ignorance and continued with the only explanation I had for our little phenomenon. “There are different types of pole forces—they mimic the poles of planets. You’re a geo-force. It’s the strongest and the polar opposite to me.”
“I’m a geo-force. Really?” He voice was thick with skepticism. “So what are you?”
“A quasar-force. Just happens to be the weakest.”
“So you’re going to tell me that we attract because we’re opposites? Just like magnets?”
“Yes. We are magnets. Everything is magnets.”
“I didn’t just think you were hot?” He grinned. Crooked. Stunning.
I felt my cheeks go warm. “It doesn’t sound very romantic, does it?”
“It felt romantic.” He smiled affectionately. “Still does.”
I smiled back, amazed at the impact his few words had on me.
“So is that all there is to it? We’re just two magnets who couldn’t resist one another because of some unseen force?”
“No. Not at all. The pole is just the first attraction. There’s also those em-field patterns. We’re all born with a distinct pattern based on our genetics. Then our experiences cause it to change as we grow. When it reaches maturity—usually around age twenty-five—we are supposedly able to fully match. We go into these camps where we have limited exposure to other people. The only men we can be around not only have to be from the correct force but have to be an approved three-hundred-point match.”
“Three-hundred-point match?”
“The more points a couple has in common, the better match they make. There was a time when people with only a few commonalities became linkmates. We call it our Dark Times. When you link with someone your pattern actually changes—merges with the other person. Have you ever seen how something metal, like a pin, can become a magnet when it’s exposed to another magnet?”
“Sure.”
“It’s like that. The pattern changes to link with the other person. But if you take the pin away from the magnet source, eventually its pattern will change again. That’s how couples used to be. If one of them went away to war or something, or if they just developed different interests, and there weren’t enough matches in their pattern, then it would shift, to actually repel their linkmate. There were all kinds of divorces and separations, just like on this world.”
“So…what? You’re saying there aren’t divorces on Nreim?”
“No. Never. Since the formation of link camps, we’re guaranteed a match that won’t shift.”
“So basically the government determines who you can fall in love with?”
“No. It’s not like that at all,” I said defensively. “They just guide the process. Help us find a more suitable match than we could on our own.”
Jesse nodded, thinking. He was experiencing so many emotions, I couldn’t pinpoint just one. “All I know is that our world hasn’t exactly had a great history with forcing people into camps.”
“I guess I’ve never really thought about it that way. It’s always just been this exciting thing that happens when you grow up. But there’s a lot of things about my government I never really thought about.”
“What about us?” he asked after a moment. “Obviously we’re not a suitable match.”
I studied him, then looked away, stubborn tears forming in the corners of my eyes. “I don’t know all the details. It’s not the kind of thing I can ask my parents.” I looked back, and winced at the concern I saw. “But I do know that you’re not capable of…linking with me permanently.”
We stared at one another while Jesse sorted out his emotions. Eventually I could sense that he figured out what that meant.
“Jesse,” I whispered. “I’m sorry—”
His hand felt sweaty, resting on top of mine. But he didn’t remove it. “So you’re saying that you’ve linked with me instead of someone from your world like you were supposed to. But I can’t ever link with you?” His voice was angry, but I only felt sadness and confusion.
I wanted to stop answering questions. To just have him hold me. To sit quietly and enjoy being together. “I really don’t k
now how it works,” I said, stroking his fingers.
“But I’m not wrong?”
I shook my head and swallowed back the lump in my throat.
He studied me as though he were seeing me for the first time. And really he was. He was seeing Mira the nafarian from Nreim for the very first time.
I could hardly breathe. If we broke our gaze, even if I blinked, he might decide that I really was a weird insect. That I wasn’t worth it.
“Stream with me,” he said suddenly.
“What?”
“You said you stream. Can you do it with me?”
“No I couldn’t.” I shook my head adamantly. “You can’t control what I see.”
He squeezed my hand. “You think I don’t trust you?”
“No. It’s not that. It’s just—” I struggled to come up with an answer he’d understand, about how serious this was, how many rules I would be breaking.
“Maybe it’ll help me defend myself. If someone else tries. That’s what you think was happening don’t you? When Everett was talking to you?”
“I don’t know. I thought so at the time…but I’m not sure anymore. Anyway, I don’t have to go in to teach you that.”
“But it would help. So I could recognize an intrusion.”
“Perhaps. But…”
“Mira. Do you remember at the dance when you said something crazy about our relationship moving too slowly?”
I smiled, my cheeks going flush. “Of course.”
“I think this is what our relationship needs. For both of us.”
Of course he was right, though I hadn’t thought of it. That’s why I hadn’t told him it was forbidden. He’d never agree to it if he knew there was a punishment. And subconsciously I wanted this more than anything. “It’ll be easiest if we’re close,” I heard myself say. “Touching foreheads.”
Jesse smiled. “And you thought I wouldn’t want to do it.” He drew me close to him. We stretched out on the lawn, our feet touching. He placed his hand on my waist.
I touched my forehead to his. “Try to focus on what you want to share with me,” I said. “Bring it to the front of your mind. Make it narrow, like you’re sending it down a tunnel towards me.” My communication stream easily slipped into Jesse’s mind, which was more like a room than the tunnels I was used to. But at least I couldn’t perceive the entire brain, like I’d feared. I probably could, if I decided to search, though obviously I never would. The first thing I noticed was the music—Jesse’s song. I wondered if it played all the time, or if he played it just for me.
I felt his embrace—not just his arms but his whole being, caressing me with his love. There were flitting dark memories in the corners—a cluttered bedroom, a moment of intense pain. But Jesse wasn’t bringing those out on purpose, so I ignored them. Instead I studied the memories he was sorting for me: the first moment he saw me at school standing nervously outside the school office, when he glanced at me in choir, when I came to sleep next to him at my house.
Jesse shifted positions, pulling me closer, wrapping his legs around mine. He pulled his head away, then moments later I felt his warm lips on my forehead.
I looked up into his eyes.
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
I hated to pull away from Jesse’s mind. He was surprisingly capable of manipulating his thoughts, allowing me to only see what he wanted to share. He could have been a great leader if he’d been born on my world. I felt as though I could remain in this state of connected minds and thoughts forever. But eventually I began to sense his fatigue.
We both pulled away, dropping onto our backs, touching one another only with our fingertips, and gazed into the noon-day sun above us. A gentle breeze caressed my face. A robin sat on the branch of a nearby tree chirping merrily.
Jesse knew.
And he still loved me.
Nothing had ever felt so right.
When he was rested, we began a lesson on keeping me out—throwing up a wall so my stream couldn’t enter. But I slipped in easily, time after time. We were still lying next to one another lobbing streams when I noticed one from Geery and retrieved it.
I sat up.
Jesse sat up as well. I smiled at him and put my head in his lap.
I smiled and reached for his hand.
I sighed.
She cut me off.
I sighed a second time, squeezed Jesse’s hand, and did my best to pretend I was being patient.
Geery sighed.
At first I thought she was quoting something. But realized she meant it. I started to sit up, then saw Jesse’s concerned look and put my head back in his lap.
Jesse was running his fingers through my hair. I tried my best to not show alarm.
I nodded, thinking.
Geery continued, voicing my thoughts.
Whoever they’re hiding from. It would be much easier if I had a clue to who any of these people were or what they wanted from me.
I rolled to my side, facing away from Jesse. This was just the kind of thing I needed to keep from him if he was being watched.
I jolt of adrenaline burst through my body, making it difficult to ho
ld still and act natural.
I tried to steady my breathing.
There was a long awkward moment of silence. I knew Geery was upset over my lack of enthusiasm for her findings and that I was with Jesse.
Silence. I began to squirm.
I smiled, knowing I was forgiven.
I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help smiling as I traced Jesse’s knee with my finger.
I jolted upright.
I glanced at Jesse, who was giving me a worried look. Geery’s spy music was still playing, which made the whole situation seem ridiculous.
I closed my eyes, breathing deep, overwhelmed.