by Isabel North
You want some tea?” Jenny asked. “I can make us some tea. Chamomile tea.”
“How about a tour instead? I almost don’t recognize the place.”
The last time Derek had been here, he’d been helping Jenny and Elle evict the squatter son of their ex-tenant. He’d then helped them clear out all the tenant’s hoarded junk. He’d even helped paint some of the rooms, before Jenny put her foot down and refused to let him help any more.
Now, she whisked him through the house to show it off, finishing up the tour in the living room. Derek hadn’t said another word, but then he couldn’t have gotten a word in, even if he’d wanted to. She’d babbled the entire time.
Like a moron.
Which made the silence that fell when she stopped talking all the more awkward.
Derek stood in front of the couch, taking up space in her tiny room, and tilted his head to one side as he studied her.
Jenny studied him right back. When he opened his mouth to finally say something, she slapped a hand to the center of his chest and pushed him backward. He collapsed onto the couch with a startled laugh, looking up at her. She grabbed the television remote and held it out to him.
Derek wrapped warm fingers around her wrist. He gently took the remote, but kept a light hold of her, opening his mouth again.
“Where’s the pizza?” Jenny said before he spoke. “They’re not usually this slow. Oh, right. Friday. Busy night.” She nodded at the television. “Watch whatever you like. I’m going to make that tea.”
She moved away, but since Derek didn’t let go, she didn’t get far. He reeled her back until she stood between his spread knees, staring down into his dark blue eyes.
Derek rubbed the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrist with his thumb before letting go and relaxing against the couch in that loose-limbed way he had. “If you don’t want me here, I can leave.”
No. Stay. Jenny swayed toward him, caught herself and stood rigid. “Hell, no. I’ve got a large pizza coming, you’re not going to leave me to eat it all by myself. Because I will, Derek, and my ass will not thank you.”
“Sure? You seem…uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable.”
He raised a brow.
“I’m not uncomfortable,” she said again, and cocked a hip. She stuck her hand on it. “See?”
“Yeah. You look real at ease.” Derek arched his back and slid down an inch further.
He was so at ease he was making her look bad, that was all.
“I don’t want you to go,” she said, surprised by how fierce she sounded.
Surprised even more by how much she meant it. She wasn’t sure that it was smart to make him stay…but she was dead sure she didn’t want him to go.
Ugh, she was a mess of conflicting emotions. She should have seized on the opportunity to shut the evening down. He handed it right to her, and she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Jenny wanted Derek here, sitting on her couch, watching her with steady focus. She wanted to keep talking to him, keep sparring with him. She wanted to keep looking at him, have him keep looking at her.
She wanted him.
Shit.
Derek took in a deep, slow breath that stretched his T-shirt over his broad chest. She was still standing between his legs. He’d closed them, not enough that he was trapping her, but enough that his heat surrounded her. He stroked the backs of his fingers up the outside of her thighs.
Jenny’s knees went weak and everything from the neck down felt as if she’d been zapped with electricity. The sensation was nerve-tingling and sharp, riding the edge of being unpleasant.
“Stay,” she said. “Eat. It’s been ages since I got to hang out with a buddy. Buddy.” She ruffled his hair and stepped out of reach.
Derek’s eyes narrowed at the hair ruffle. “Hmm,” he said.
The doorbell rang. About time. “Ooh. Food.”
Derek stood. “You get plates. I’ll get the door.”
Jenny heard the rumble of Derek’s voice as he paid the pizza guy. Making a mental note to pay Derek for her half, she scurried into the kitchen. She grabbed plates and napkins, shot into the living room and set them on the vintage steamer trunk she used as a coffee table, then bolted up the stairs.
When she got back, he’d already opened the box and put a slice on her plate. He lounged on the couch, a game played on the television, and he chewed thoughtfully as she strolled in.
Jenny settled herself cross-legged on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table, and popped the tab on the can of Diet Coke he’d set by her plate.
Derek finished chewing and leaned to one side to get a good look at her. “What are you wearing?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know about pizza pants.” Jenny bit into her slice.
He shook his head in question.
“Pizza pants,” she said, “are the pants you wear when you pig out.” She hooked a thumb in the waistband and pulled it out a few inches. “Elasticated.” Also pink plaid, faded, and contender for the least sexy loungewear in the known universe. “Normally I wouldn’t wear these in company, but this ain’t a date, and I don’t need to impress you. Burn in hell, skinny jeans. I’m letting it all hang out.”
Derek gave a snort of amusement, was distracted by the excited sports commentator on the TV, then asked, “Is that why you also took your makeup off? You’re letting it all hang out?”
“Yep. I don’t think Dean saw me without makeup until we’d been engaged for months.” She replayed the comment and clarified, “But you and me, we’ve known each other forever. There are no illusions between us. Let’s not forget, I’ve seen your snot bubble.”
“I was a kid, Jen. I had allergies.”
She grinned at his aggrieved tone.
They worked their way slowly through the food. Maybe it was the pizza pants, or the sight of her makeup-free face, or maybe she’d read too much into his earlier touch, but the electricity that had made her so jumpy faded into the background and the mood lightened.
It was probably the latter.
Derek Tate was an easygoing guy, friendly. He was physical, his touches didn’t mean anything.
They were buddies.
Somehow, Jenny ended up on the couch with her legs stretched out and her feet in his lap, not giving a damn about the food baby that made her stomach strain against the elasticated waistband of her pizza pants. The game finished and Derek surfed through the channels until he found an action movie.
Despite the heroic screaming and various explosions, Jenny’s eyes drifted closed.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this relaxed.
Had Derek infected her with his chill-out cooties? Was he contagious?
They’d talked, and laughed, and hung out, and now her limbs felt boneless. She was warm. She was safe. She could quite happily fall asleep…right…here.
“Jen.” Derek’s voice was soft. “Baby.”
“Shh.” She didn’t open her eyes. Even her face was relaxed.
The couch shifted as he moved. “It’s late. I’m gonna go.”
Jenny frowned. Reaching out an arm, she dragged the blanket from the back of the couch and pulled it over her head.
Cozy.
There was a pause, then Derek removed the blanket. “You can’t sleep on the couch. Lock up behind me, then go to bed.”
Jenny grunted in disagreement, groped for the blanket again, and found his hand instead. She blinked her eyes open a crack to see him standing over her, his face in shadow. Her fingers tightened on his, then fell away.
“Come on.” Bending, Derek slid one arm behind her knees, one behind her shoulders, and lifted her up against his chest. He paused at the doorway and shifted her. The light switch clicked and the room behind them went dark.
Jenny kept her eyes shut. That way, she could pretend she was dreaming.
She’d had dreams like this before, dreams of Derek Tate carrying her to bed. Lots and lots of them.
Okay, daydreams.
In her daydreams, of course, things were more urgent.
Grasping. Panting. Pushing, seeking.
But this was soft and gentle. Safe. She didn’t have to force herself to put a stop to it. It was all right if she stayed here in his arms and let him take her to bed, not having to worry about everything for once.
“You are shameless,” he told her in his low, husky voice as he walked them into her bedroom. “I know you’re awake. You’re too lazy to get your own ass up the stairs.”
Jenny smiled. “Yeah. I learned this move from Kate. Always wanted to try it out. Works like a charm.” Her words were slurred with exhaustion.
Derek lowered her, sliding her up the bed until her head hit the pillows. The mattress beside her dipped as he leaned in, pressing a featherlight kiss to her forehead.
Her eyes fluttered open and she looked directly into his.
He stared at her for a long, silent moment, before pulling away.
Derek stood there for another few seconds, then he moved.
Her hand caught his again. He took in a sharp breath. “You have to let me go, Jen.”
Her fingers tightened.
She didn’t let go.
CHAPTER FIVE
Warm. She was warm. All the way down to her bones. And relaxed.
Jenny pondered it.
Nope. She didn’t think she’d ever been this relaxed.
In her entire life.
She didn’t move. She lay there and enjoyed the unfamiliar sensation of everything being…perfect.
Soft and warm and perfect.
Apart from the solid chest under her cheek. That wasn’t soft. The T-shirt fabric was, sure, but the body underneath? Mmm. Solid, hard muscle. And beneath that, a strong, steady heartbeat, pounding into the hollow of her palm.
Jenny’s eyes popped open.
She was lying on someone.
All that beautiful relaxation was blasted clean out of her and every nerve snapped to painful, quivering awareness.
The large frame beneath her didn’t move. Good. He was still asleep.
Because it was, without question, a man in bed with her.
The only person Jenny had had in her bed in the last three years was Kate, and as her daughter was all grown-up (she said) at five years of age, those occasions were restricted to scary thunderstorms, nightmares, and stomachaches.
Kate…
No, it was all right. Kate was at Elle’s. Thank God for small mercies. Kate wasn’t going to bounce in with her usual Saturday morning ebullience and find her mother lolling around in bed with a strange man.
Even as she thought it, Jenny knew that she wasn’t with a strange man at all. No way would she ever relax around a stranger. No way would she fall asleep in any man’s presence, unless she felt safe enough to let down her guard.
There was only one man on the planet who made her feel safe enough for that.
Derek.
What had she done?
Jenny squeezed her eyes tight.
She’d asked him to stay. She hadn’t come out and said it, but she hadn’t let him leave, either.
He’d driven her home, they’d had pizza, he’d carried her to bed…and when he’d tried to leave, like the gentleman he was, she’d refused to let him go.
He’d settled her in the bed then taken off his boots and climbed on beside her. He could have stripped them both naked and climbed on top of her, and Jenny wouldn’t have had the strength of will to resist him. But he didn’t. He hadn’t. Instead, he’d gotten comfy against the pillows, stayed on top of the covers, and dragged her into his arms.
She’d relished his hold for maybe half a minute before she fell asleep. And now, here she was. Plastered against him, her head tucked into his shoulder, with one possessive hand laid on his chest. Right over his heart.
His strong, steady heart that was not for the likes of her.
A heart that had, she registered, increased in speed.
He was awake.
Shit. What was she going to do? Shit.
She had to do something, say something, because otherwise he was going to kiss her, and then she’d be lost. With a lurch of self-loathing, Jenny knew what she had to do to shut this down.
To shut him down. For good.
But, oh, she’d didn’t want to do it.
Hating herself, Jenny slid her hand over his chest, lower, and wrapped an arm around Derek’s lean waist. She pulled him in closer as she tipped her head back and kissed the base of his throat. “Mmm,” she said. “Gabe. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Derek had been still beneath her all this time, but at Gabe’s name, somehow, he went even more still. Every muscle locked tight.
You’ve done it now, girl. Sell it.
Ignoring the panic that began to rise as her lizard brain screamed at her, danger-danger-danger, Jenny nipped at his throat again. To her surprise, Derek let her. She pressed a light kiss at the corner of his mouth.
Wasn’t he going to say something? Stop her?
His jaw tensed, but he didn’t speak. Instead, he turned his head a fraction toward her.
Jenny’s lips parted and she took in a soft breath, shifting against him.
Don’t do it. Don’t kiss him. She was supposed to be pushing him away, tearing down her dreams once and for all.
Her lower lip grazed his. Her pulse went crazy.
And still he didn’t move.
It wasn’t going to work if Derek didn’t do what she was counting on him to do: be hurt that she’d mistaken him for another man. Be disappointed in her. Be angry that she’d asked him to stay when she was involved with someone else.
Derek. Don’t let me kiss you.
He didn’t stop her. He was going to let her kiss him after all, wasn’t he?
Bluff called, Jenny drew back.
She didn’t get far.
Moving so fast it startled a gasp out of her, Derek whipped a hand around the nape of her neck and his fingers dug in. Hard. Not painful, not quite, but he wasn’t going easy, either.
“Jenny,” he said in a rough growl. “Open your eyes.”
Jenny shook her head. She couldn’t. She couldn’t.
His thumb swept along her jaw, brushed over her trembling mouth. “Open your eyes,” he said again, lower.
Jenny braced against his chest and pushed up to her forearms. She blinked down at him. “Derek?” she said, trying to sound surprised. “What are you—?”
“Quiet.”
“But I—”
He gave a single, sharp shake of his head.
Jenny was quiet. Derek’s gaze moved over her face and, damn it, her mouth trembled again. Full-on lip quiver.
His fingers at her nape flexed. “Gabe?” he said. “Gabe Sterling? Are you kidding me?”
“No, I—”
“Quiet.”
Jenny reached back and tugged at his wrist. “Make up your mind. You asked me a questi—”
Her words cut off as Derek rolled into her, catching both of her wrists in his hands and holding them beside her head.
“Derek—”
He didn’t have to tell her to be quiet again. All he did was stretch his hard body out over hers, and Jenny snapped her mouth shut. They stared at each other.
Derek broke the silence. “Want to tell me why you wake up with a man in your bed and you think it’s Gabe Sterling?”
“Not particularly.”
His dark blue eyes bored into hers.
Okay. She’d guessed that Derek would be angry. She’d counted on it. But she’d also expected him to be more hurt-angry and less…furious-angry.
“Can’t you connect the dots?” she asked. She really didn’t want to say it out loud now. Not to this Derek. To last night’s Derek, yes. This Derek? No.
“Humor me,” he gritted out.
“I’m sort of seeing him.” Ugh. She was going to hell. And somewhere in a penthouse in San Francisco where Gabe lived, the poor m
an probably just got hit with a queasy feeling of horror, like a perverted goose had walked over his grave.
“How ‘sort of’ are we talking here?” Derek snapped. “You two dating?”
“God, no. I don’t date. It’s a hookup.”
Nope. Wrong thing to say. Way wrong. Derek dropped more of his weight onto her. “You’re sleeping with him?”
Jenny bit her lip, gave a little shrug, and nodded.
“Since when? How long?”
“It’s none of your business, Derek.”
“No? Sure feels like my business. I’m the man lying between your thighs.”
Come on, Jenny. You can do this. Be a bitch. It’s for your own good. For his. She tipped up her chin. “You’re not there by invitation.”
Derek made a noise of frustration. “You kissed me.”
“I thought you were Gabe.” Sorry, Gabe.
“You went to bed with me.”
“I fell asleep with you. I was half-asleep still when I thought you were Gabe. He has… I gave him a key.” Good one. “I gave him a key, and when he’s in town he drops by.”
“What about Kate?”
Her eyes narrowed. A pulse of anger beat through her. “Do not even go there, Derek.”
“Too late. I’m there. What about Kate? What does she think about your hookup using your bathroom in the morning, drinking your coffee, eating breakfast at your table?”
Jenny struggled, heaving against him. He didn’t budge. “She doesn’t think anything. She doesn’t know. That’s why I gave him a key, dumbass.”
“Sterling sneaks in, gets some, sneaks out? That’s how it works?”
“Yes! That’s how it works! And it works perfectly!” She thrashed under him. “It’s the perfect solution!”
“Stop moving, Jen.” He tightened his grip. “Quit it.”
“No. I’m angry.”
Derek cracked a short, disbelieving laugh. “What the hell do you have to be angry about?”
“You! I’m angry at you. How dare you bring Kate into this? I’m a good mother. I’d never expose her to my sex life. It’s the whole point of this stupid thing with Gabe. I can’t bring another man into her life. I won’t risk her happiness.”