Ms. McDowell may not have been on the shortlist for any Mother-of-the-Year awards, but at least she had shed tears at the sight of her daughter being taken away. My dad—he had stood there with a forced calm. When I began to scream and cry, he offered no words of comfort, he didn’t reach out for me. He didn’t yell at the people taking me away either. He just fixed me with a stern gaze and shook his head as if telling me to stop crying.
The last words he said to me before I was dragged out of the door of the shabby house I had called home for eight years was, “You’re all right. Don’t worry about it.”
I think what bothered me most was not knowing whether my dad just hadn’t cared, or if he was just trying to put on a brave face for my sake.
Swimming in memories from the past, I was brought back to the present when Tessa touched my knee. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m all right. Don’t worry about it,” I said, grimacing as my dad’s voice echoed through my brain.
“Who was taken away, Evan?”
I cleared my throat. “My dad—he uhm…”
“Your dad was a foster child?”
I shook my head. “No, not him.”
Tessa stared at me with wide eyes, and I knew she had guessed the truth by then. I took a deep breath and stared straight ahead, unsure of how much I wanted to tell her.
“My mom died when I was practically a baby. So it was just me and my dad until he started bringing around a bunch of different women. Some of them were nice, I guess. But others—not so much. There was one in particular—she caused a lot of trouble for us. My dad wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. But I was taken away before he could figure it out. I grew up with a few foster families.”
“How did your foster families treat you?”
The stinging returned to my eyes. “Fucking rough. Very rough. No matter how badly you’re treated, a part of you will always long for the family you were born to.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It doesn’t matter though. I just hope Sarah ends up with a good family. Good families can be hard to find. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on my worst enemy.”
CHAPTER 10
Tessa
I knew Evan was giving me the edited version of his story, because the expression on his face clearly insinuated that the hardships he’d endured as a child were more than he could bear discussing.
He sat there, staring off into oblivion with his dark eyes misty with the tears he fought hard hold back; it was simultaneously heartbreaking and beautiful to behold. Seeing such a large, muscular, and dignified man in such a vulnerable moment—it was like I could see a glimpse of the child he had once been. A part of me wanted to sweep that child into my arms and make sure no one ever hurt him again.
And then there was the man—the accomplished, tough-as-nails doctor. With him, I was feeling the urge to kiss away any bad memory he possibly possessed.
I carefully set down my cup of tea so that I could rub Evan’s back. He tensed slightly at my touch before relaxing into it. I continued rubbing my hands over the taut muscles so easily felt through his shirt. The gesture was only meant to comfort him, but it was also igniting the desire I felt for him…The desire I desperately needed to push aside because we were in the workplace and needed to keep things purely professional.
Evan set his own coffee down and sighed. To my surprise, he then leaned against me and placed his hand on my knee.
The scent of his cologne growing more intoxicating by the second, I found myself placing my head on his shoulder, breathing him in. “We just have to hope for the best. The only for certain thing is that if child protective services hadn’t been called, Sarah would have stayed in a situation where she was sure to get hurt. At least now, we’re giving her a chance to be safe.”
Evan nodded. “Yeah, I know that.”
He turned his head toward me, and it became apparent how dangerously close we were. All I could see were his lips…
Like a magnet, I was drawn in. The kiss was innocent at first—just a quick peck meant to console. But then it grew into something deeper. His lips cascaded onto mine and his arm encircled my waist. I wrapped an arm around his neck and let my other hand run through his silky hair.
We were quickly getting lost into each other…
Until the door of the on-call room swung open.
We leapt apart, with me accidentally knocking over my tea in the process. Shit.
Dr. Morris Cohen stepped inside, whistling a tune to himself. “Oh—there you are, Ms. Kennery! Dr. Newman was looking for you. Evan, my man! How’s it going?”
“Hey Morris,” Evan said, wiping his lips and then scratching behind his ear.
I hastily searched around for some paper-towels to wipe up my spilled tea.
“Go ahead, Tessa. I got it,” Evan said.
I nodded, my heart racing as I retreated from the room.
What was it about him that kept me coming back for more?
I was breaking hospital policy, no fraternizing with your superiors, but I didn’t care.
He was so damn enticing. And I couldn’t get enough.
CHAPTER 11
Evan
Because I so badly wanted the day to end, it naturally slugged by with excruciating slowness. I needed to be free from the hospital’s walls, free from thoughts of Sarah, and free from the childhood memories I so desperately wished to leave behind.
Not to mention, I needed to be free from the feelings Tessa kept bringing to the surface. Damn, that girl. She got me to talk about my past, while I sat there and considered slipping a hand underneath her scrubs.
As I rounded the corner to leave the hospital, I came to a screeching halt at the sight of Tessa talking with Nurse Watson and the intern. It sometimes seemed like the simple thought of Tessa could make her appear, as if my subconscious somehow had a way of wheeling her in. Unfortunately, now just wasn’t the time to face her again, especially since I knew Sarah was undoubtedly the topic of the conversation she was partaking in. What else would Tessa have to talk to Nurse Watson and her intern about?
I clenched my jaw and slowly started to move backwards, hoping my presence would remain undetected. But of course luck wasn’t on my side. Sensing me, Tessa looked up right before I’d managed to take myself out of view. Shit. Our eyes locked for a moment before I turned my back and hurried off in the opposite direction, deciding to use an alternate exit. It would take me longer to get to my car, but I didn’t care.
“Hey there, Dr. Sholly.”
I looked toward my left and mustered a smile at Molly, a nurse who I knew was friends with Tessa. “Good night, Molly. See you later,” I said.
“Wait, Sholly—I think Tessa wanted to see you before you left.”
I’m sure she did, I thought, and fought to keep my expression neutral. “I’m kind of in a hurry. If you see her, tell her I’ll catch her later,” I said, and then picked up my pace because I knew that speaking of Tessa would make her appear again. Some God damned magic or something.
I burst out of the hospital doors, welcoming the cool evening air. I hadn’t realized how much those walls had been stifling me until that point. Despite the coolness of the air, there was a slight mugginess to it too, and the darkening clouds hovering overhead foretold of rain. I listened to the sounds of my shoes hitting the pavement, along with the gentle hum of distant traffic and the varying styles of music coming from the occasional cars that passed by me. The noises managed to momentarily cloud my mind until I finally reached my car and hopped in. With a sigh, I cranked the engine and turned on the own radio, blasting it at full volume. It was no use though; my thoughts could no longer be silenced.
I tore out of the parking lot and watched the hospital building grow smaller in my rearview mirror. The smaller the building appeared though, the larger Tessa’s face grew in my mind.
Although I hadn’t disclosed much to her, I had still told her more than I could remember telling anyone in recent memory. Hell, not even just recent memory—I’d
told her more than I had ever told anyone, period.
All throughout school, classmates had been able to piece together parts of my story due to the rampant rumors that tended to snake through adolescent mouths. And although I’m sure plenty of my teachers must have known, I had never verbally confided in anyone. Even when I entered the military, I kept my mouth shut about my past, including with my superiors. My past held too much power over me, and I never wanted anyone to have any access whatsoever to that power.
Yet, I had given Tessa Kennery a piece of it. I could practically count on my fingers how many days I’d known her, and now she knew one of my biggest secrets.
Again, I marveled at why this woman had such an effect on me. Whatever it was, it went beyond her pretty face. I’d seen plenty of beauty in my day, but had never been so close to falling to pieces over other women like I felt when around Tessa. That woman made me feel like a mystery, even to myself.
As I neared my home, I contemplated whether to stop by a fast-food joint for dinner, but quickly changed my mind, figuring that I would rather cook instead. Preparing a meal would help fill the hours before I crashed in bed, and help occupy my thoughts as well.
So as I parked and entered my bachelor’s pad, I headed straight for the kitchen after taking a shower. After rummaging in the refrigerator for what supplies I had readily available, I pulled out some tomato sauce, chicken breast, and parmesan cheese, and then raided my cabinets for pasta, herbs, and spices. Chicken parmesan had always been my go-to meal in the military. It was something that wasn’t too difficult, but impressive nonetheless.
Once it was done, I pulled out a wine glass and almost immediately replaced it, settling for a couple beers instead, despite knowing I would regret it in the morning because I had a mandatory staff meeting to attend.
As I sat at my kitchen table eating my meal, I found that it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as I wanted it to be. I was alone, as usual, but this time it was different. I didn’t want to be. My night shifts might be over.
After meeting Tessa, being alone just didn’t feel right anymore.
CHAPTER 12
Tessa
I looked outside as I tied my hair up. The sunlight was just starting to peak over the horizon, and birdsong drifted through the cracked window. I stretched and reached for my jacket, with Lucy already dancing around my feet, anxious for her morning run.
“Go get your leash,” I told her, as I pulled on my jacket. She turned in a circle three times and then happily skipped to the back of the apartment, returning just seconds later, dragging the leash in her mouth as I tied my shoelaces. I fastened it to her collar, and tossed my keys into my pocket. “All right. Let’s go.”
The early morning air was brisk, but not unpleasant. Lucy and I fell into a comfortable trot as we headed to the park. And as usual these days, my thoughts drifted to Evan.
I had spent the whole night with his face floating through my dreams, particularly the last expression he’d given me before leaving the hospital the previous day. After our intoxicating yet highly inappropriate make-out session in the on-call room, where we’d almost been caught looking like a couple of hormone-driven teenagers, I’d felt the need to at least end our day on smoother terms. But after Dr. Morris almost walked in on us, I hadn’t been able to find Evan for the rest of the day. Shortly before our shift ended, I ran into Molly and told her to let him know that I was looking for him. When I briefly spotted him while talking to Nurse Watson and her intern, I thought Molly must have delivered my message. However, when I caught Evan’s eye, he looked at me with an expression not far from terror before running away.
My heart had plummeted right there on the spot. It had been a struggle for me to excuse myself, hoping to go after and catch up to him. But I’d had no such luck. Not before long though, I was grateful I hadn’t caught up to him; I never wanted to be the kind of woman to chase after a man, especially if that man could be so hot-and-cold without rhyme or reason.
I tried so hard not to be offended by Evan’s actions, but it felt impossible every time I thought about his dark eyes, silky hair, and the sexy five o’clock shadow he always sported. There was hardly ever a moment that went by when I didn’t quiver in delight at the memory of his strong hands and ridiculously sexy body. Even the scent of him was enough to make me want to swoon.
No matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, I was completely and irrevocably smitten.
It would have been a lot easier for me to keep my feelings in check if I honestly believed that Dr. Evan Sholly was truly the jerk I had thought him to be when we first met. But now, I’d gotten a glimpse behind the mask he attempted to hide behind, and consequently knew that deep down, he had a sensitive and troubled soul that I wanted nothing more than to help heal. But I already knew healing Evan would take a lot more skill and caution than any bullet wound I’d treated over the years. And considering how broken Tyler had left me, I couldn’t deny worrying about whether I could truly handle the task.
How could I help anyone heal when I still had some pretty deep wounds of my own that needed tending?
I knew that contemplating it all any further would do nothing but give me a headache, and I certainly didn’t need that when I had to work in a couple of hours. I tried to push it all from my mind so that I could simply enjoy my morning run with Lucy. I glanced down at her and smiled. She ran beside me, panting with her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth. She glanced up at me for a moment, her goofy expression seemingly saying, “It’s okay, Mommy. You’ve got me.”
I reached down to quickly scratch her ear and laughed. “How about we pick it up a notch?” I said to her. “I’ll race you! Last one to the park is a rotten egg!”
I picked up my pace, and Lucy easily matched it, her tail steadily swishing behind her. The muscles in my legs working overtime was even enough to keep thoughts of Evan at bay. Feeling myself growing tired, I started concentrating on my breathing, taking measured breaths in and exhaling through my mouth.
We had just bypassed the halfway mark when I suddenly felt myself being tugged backwards. Confusion delaying my reaction, it took a moment for me to realize Lucy was pulling me, hard. She had abruptly stopped running at my side, and took off in another direction. Still gripping her leash, I was involuntarily jerked backwards along with her. A pain shot through my arm; I had forgotten how strong Lucy could be when she wanted to.
“Lucy!” I shouted. “Stop it! LUCY!”
But she was too distracted. I stumbled after her, holding on to her leash for dear life. I frantically scanned the premises, wondering what on earth had caused my well-mannered dog to suddenly go rogue.
A squirrel darted across the street and went up the nearest tree, attempting to get out of harm’s way. Lucy occasionally chased squirrels, but never with this much aggression. Gritting my teeth, I gripped the leash tighter and gave it a hard tug, but to no avail.
“Dammit, Lucy!” I shouted, disturbing the peaceful dawn air around us.
Finally, I saw the source of the problem—Lucy had spotted a feral cat.
It all made sense now. Most dogs disliked cats, but for Lucy, the hatred was personal. When she was just a puppy, she had been attacked by a cat once. Shortly after I officially adopted her, I took her for a visit to my aunt’s house. What I hadn’t known at the time was that my aunt’s pet cat had just had kittens. I hadn’t been worried though. Lucy was just a baby, and she seemed more fascinated by the kittens than anything. My aunt had even encouraged them getting to know each other.
“That way, they’ll grow up to be friends,” she had reasoned. So I went along with it, thinking it sounded like a good idea. I watched as little Lucy approached the kittens, excitedly wagging her tail and sniffing them. In return, the cats cuddled around her, their youth and innocence preventing them from holding any prejudices toward what they thought was a new friend.
All was well until Mama Cat showed up. Her name was Kimmy, and she did not take kindly to seeing a dog fratern
izing with her kittens. Feeling threatened, Kimmy leapt on Lucy before either me or my aunt could stop her. What ensued next was a loud and ugly tussle that resulted in Lucy faring far worse than Kimmy. My poor pup suffered scratches all up and down her snout.
My aunt felt terrible about the whole ordeal and immediately accompanied me in taking Lucy to the vet. Fortunately, none of the scratches were too deep, and none of them were infected. They healed quickly enough, but Lucy’s pride surely hadn’t. From that point onward, she considered all cats her mortal enemy, and whenever she saw one, all Hell broke loose.
“Lucy, not now!” I scolded through clenched teeth. I tugged her leash again, and finally, she relented, having lost sight of the cat as it darted off into an alley.
Panting, I leaned over and rested my hands on my knees, my left-hand stinging from gripping and pulling the leash so hard. A cramp began to form in my side. Lucy glanced back at me, having come back to her senses. Slowly, with her head lowered and her tail tucked between her legs, she tipped back toward me.
“Lucy, honestly. This has to stop! How many times do I have to tell you that you cannot be so prejudiced! Just because you encountered one bad cat does not mean you have to take it out on the whole species!”
Lucy whimpered and lied down at my feet, feeling guilty.
“Unbelievable, Luce,” I muttered. I stood up, stretched, and then took a look at our surroundings, seeing that Lucy had steered us quite a bit off-course. Fortunately, our surroundings still remained fairly empty; it was still early and the morning rush hadn’t made its way outdoors yet. With the exception of one woman walking briskly down the pavement, Lucy and I were alone.
2X The Hear Page 57