It was the closest he would come to admitting that he was wrong and that his daughter deserved better.
Chapter 40
September 1997
The Rocket School, Pune
Dearest, darling Vidya,
How are you, my darling sister? I am sorry I took such a long while to write you this letter. It has been almost four months since I visited you in Joshimath. Thank you for waiting for me to write to you and giving me the space that I needed. You are the bestest sister anyone can ask for!
First, the BIG, big news. This is not going to come as a huge shocker to you, as we had talked so much about it when I was in Joshimath.
I am separating from Bhuwan and we will be filing for a divorce soon. It is a decision we made jointly, and you can’t imagine what a relief it is, to be making your own decisions about whether you want to stay in a marriage or not.
Vidya, the strange thing is, even though we are parting, we have become such good friends. He helped me understand him. You know how, over the last few months, I have faced such a lot. Life has thrown all kinds of things at me and I have grown as a person. I feel I have so much more compassion now—more than I did when I got married and moved to Pune.
Over the last few months, I have seen for myself how people who are homosexual are completely misunderstood. Bhuwan is such a sweet, nice and kind guy. He deserves to be with Vikki. You should see them together, Vidya. They are so happy. Their relationship is so strong, and a part of me envies that, as I too want that in my life.
Over the course of the last few months, I have met Vikki with Bhuwan many times. The three of us have gone out for meals together. We have been talking a lot and discussing what we should do. Vikki is a very mature, kind and understanding guy, just like Bhuwan is. I had been trying to convince Bhuwan for many weeks, and we agreed that he should tell his mother the truth. While I was with you guys, Bhuwan managed to tell his mother about it. Vikki was with him.
Vikki told me, ‘You should have seen her, Veda. She was like a deflated balloon. It was as if she did not know her son anymore.’
When I got back to Pune, my MIL started talking to me and telling me what she wanted to convey to Bhuwan, not addressing him directly at all. It was the strangest thing.
‘Maaji, he is the same person. Nothing has changed just because you now know his sexual preferences. Who he is as a person remains the same,’ I told her.
Can you believe I said that to her? This alone will show you how much I have changed, and how I am no longer a timid little mouse, though I know you don’t need any convincing about that.
My MIL continued behaving in a bizarre way for a few weeks. She wouldn’t even look at Bhuwan and would only communicate with him through me. When I saw that it was continuing, I knew I had to do something. I told her that if she had to tell him something, she would have to say it to him to his face. Bhuwan and I had to ‘train’ her to talk to him.
The second BIG news. I am not living with Bhuwan anymore. It was a mutual decision. I moved out two weeks ago. To make you understand where I am living, let me give you the whole story, even though you know parts of it.
You know how after Ron, Kanika and I walked out of Sankalp we kept meeting every day. We were each other’s support system. For a few days, we wallowed in self-pity and the unfairness of it all. Here we were, giving our all to Sankalp. It was bad enough that we got absolutely no recognition for anything we had done so far. What made it worse was that we would have been unceremoniously asked to leave. I am glad I told them off and we quit before they asked us to leave. It was obvious that the inquiry committee was setting us up for that.
Ron seethes with anger whenever he talks about it. You should see him—he physically changes colour when he is angry! He becomes a deep shade of crimson. He wrote a long report to the Carman Foundation about the truth of the matter. They believed his report, rather than anything Aparna might have sent them. They were pleased that he was so involved in Sankalp and had been teaching the children. They value that kind of thing over there. He said that when he was done with his report, he was certain that the Carman Foundation would not support Sankalp anymore. A few days after he sent the report, Ron wrote another detailed proposal to the Carman Foundation, with copies of the mark sheets of the children. He proposed that he would personally head this new school that we were planning to start. Between the three of us, we have enough experience, and we are all capable of making meaningful contributions to change the lives of hundreds of children.
And so, my dear Vidya—drum rolls and trumpets please—THE ROCKET SCHOOL was born!
We thought of many other Indian names—like Samarthan, Asha, Umeed—but found out that there are already NGOs with similar sounding or the same names. So we came up with a unique name. Just like a rocket launches into outer space and soars, we hope to give our children a launch pad which will help them ‘take off’ in their lives.
Ron requested that the Carman Foundation give aid to The Rocket School.
I had told you about Kanika’s friend who is a real estate agent, right? He spoke to the family members who own the old house I had told you about. It is an old, two-storey house, with a large compound and many rooms. They did not know what to do with it, and when they heard we wanted to rent it for this cause, they were more than happy. They are delighted that it is being used, as otherwise, it would be neglected and become dilapidated. They offered it to us at a nominal rent. The Carman Foundation is footing the bill for this. Getting it at a nominal cost means that we have extra funds for other activities.
And now—the big surprise—I have moved into this house! We converted one of the rooms on the first floor into a lovely one-bedroom apartment. It has an adjoining study. Kanika helped me do it up. The classrooms are downstairs and I live by myself, upstairs. I must admit it felt rather strange for the first few days. But now, I have gotten used to it. The house has many rooms and Ron loved how Kanika has done up my ‘quarters’, as he calls it. He said that, when his rental lease expires, he too is going to move in here. Kanika, he and I are converting another set of rooms upstairs into an apartment for him.
The ‘classrooms’ downstairs are spacious, sunny and cosy. Oh, you should see them, Vidya. Kanika has worked magic here.
We have employed a watchman for the premises and he acts as the gardener as well. We have named our herb garden after Sanju, and have planted a tree in the centre of it, in his name. I sit here at my desk, in my home, and I am gazing out of the window as I write you this letter. The Sanju tree is swaying gently in the breeze. It is a small bush as of now, but with care, it will grow to be a large, shady tree. The contentment I feel is unexplainable.
The children absolutely LOVE coming here. Instead of just being a support facility, we are now applying for permission and getting all the paperwork done to turn it into a full-fledged school. We met the director of education, and he was all for it.
When you come to Pune (and I think you should make a trip soon), you will be staying with me in MY HOUSE. You have no idea how satisfying it feels to say this.
Bhuwan has been very supportive. He and Vikki have started volunteering here on weekends. The kids love them!
As regards Suraj, I am glad I met you and we talked and talked about it. I am more or less sure that he and Priya are a couple now. I can tell from the tone of his letters, and it is only a matter of time before he tells me himself. I think I have lost him forever now. As far as I am concerned, that is a closed chapter, Vidya. Yes, I was in love with him at one point of time. But my circumstances were very different then.
We all change, Vidya. Things happen to us and we change as people. Our relationships change. And as long as this growth makes you a stronger person, a more compassionate person and a kinder person, then that is all that matters.
So, after I finish this letter, I will just write him a short note, wishing them both well. I will tell him that I am happy that he has found a good friend in Priya. If he gets back to me, a
nd wants to know more details, or asks why I wrote such a short letter, then I will tell him over the phone of all the changes that have taken place in my life.
When I think about it, I have lost Suraj and I have also lost Bhuwan. But I have found myself. That is priceless. If there is one thing I have learnt from my experiences, it is this—speak your mind. Have the courage to go for what you want and stand up for it.
Bhuwan did not speak up, I did not speak up and we were thrown together in a mockery of a marriage. Had we spoken up, who knows, I might have been on a different path. I am very proud of myself for speaking up at Sankalp that day, in front of that inquiry committee.
Anyway, much has happened, and we have all grown.
For that, I am grateful.
You know, Vidya, I am very sure that with all the preparations you are doing, you will sail through your civil services exams.
Write back soon.
All my love,
Your ultimate rule breaker,
Veda
Acknowledgements
To my daughter, Purvi Shenoy—with whom I discussed the book at length, and whose inputs helped shape the story.
To my father, K.V.J. Kamath, and my mother, Priya Kamath. Also Satish and Atul Shenoy.
To my early readers, whose inputs were invaluable.
To Madhav Kini (for the tour of the printing press) and Suresh Sanyasi (for the inputs on Maharashtra).
To Dr. Oliver (for the medical inputs).
To hundreds of my readers who shared their mother-in-law stories anonymously.
To my friends in Pune, who provided me with details of the city in the ’90s.
To my wonderful editors, Sandhya Sridhar and Deepthi Talwar, who made the book so much better.
To the Westland team—a pleasure to work with.
To Saurav Kumar for the cover design.
To Manjula Venkatswamy, who takes care of everything behind the scenes, so I can work in peace.
To Lostris, for the exercise and the madness she brings into my life.
The Rule Breakers Page 33