She was once again holding hands with both men, something that felt surprisingly natural, although it should’ve freaked her out. They’d both done it most of the day, taking her hand, pulling her close, stealing a kiss here and there… She’d felt a little off-kilter, but never had she felt better.
It was all about living in the moment.
She’d spent so many years trying to figure out how to fix everything that was broken, working on changing the past, walking on eggshells to keep from upsetting the unnatural balance of her stormy life. Now she was learning that wasn’t even possible. Live for today, that was her new motto. Try new things.
Well, she was definitely checking that one off her bucket list.
Why she wasn’t panicking, or worried what others thought about her, she truly didn’t know. Tomorrow there would probably be pictures in the tabloids of their outing, and she might have to worry about it then, but for now, she really didn’t give a shit.
She was having too much fun.
“What did you have in mind?” she asked Phoenix once they were in the SUV and pulling out of the parking lot. Surprising them both, Mia had climbed into the front seat with Tarik, laughing at Phoenix as he pretended to pout in the back.
“Food,” he told her smoothly, his eyes raking over her face and landing on her lips as she glanced at him over her shoulder.
For a moment, Mia got the impression he wasn’t interested in food at all. Although her stomach was rumbling, she was inclined to think she might get her fill if they did go back to his place right then.
Not a good idea, she reminded herself.
As much as she liked him, as easy as he was to be around, Mia still worried about the repercussions of being with a man like Phoenix. She’d learned over the course of the day that he wasn’t anything like Damien, but those warning flags were still flying high and proud every time she thought about where this was headed.
Tarik, on the other hand, was a little more her taste. He wasn’t high profile, although he wasn’t low-key, either. But like Phoenix, he made her feel things she hadn’t expected to ever feel again. Things that she’d stopped feeling long before her marriage was over. Like that flutter in her belly when they looked at her. Or the tingle in her core when either of them pulled her close. It was a heady feeling that she was beginning to crave like a drug.
“Before we decide on dinner, we need to figure out who the winner of the day is,” Tarik mentioned, reaching over and taking Mia’s hand in his as he maneuvered onto the highway, heading south toward downtown.
“I think I did,” she said quickly, laughing. There was no way she was the winner for the day, but she figured it was worth a shot.
“Not a chance, little girl,” Phoenix retorted. “I’d say I’m the winner.”
“Like hell,” Tarik added.
“If you think you’re the winner, why did you even ask?” Mia questioned, linking her fingers with his while the heater blasted on her face, warming her considerably.
“Because I wanted to hear you say it.”
“Okay, fine. I think you’re the winner,” she told him, glancing over her shoulder at Phoenix once more. “Don’t you think?”
“I’m good with that,” he answered, grinning.
Of course he was. It didn’t matter, because if either of them won, she had agreed to go back to Phoenix’s condo.
“Does that mean I get to pick the restaurant?” Tarik asked.
“If that’ll make you happy.” Mia didn’t really care who picked, as long as they got to eat sometime soon. She was starving.
“I know this excellent Mexican place. You up for that?”
Mia looked over at him and smiled. “Sure.”
The conversation continued, mostly Phoenix and Tarik arguing affably about who the winner actually was until they were pulling into the crowded parking lot to the restaurant. Mia realized immediately that they weren’t too far from her condo. A mile maybe.
Once they parked, Phoenix rushed to help her and then placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him, purposely keeping her from Tarik while he apparently claimed ownership. The fact that they were both fighting — albeit friendly — over her made her feel good.
“Do you two do this often?” Mia questioned when the waiter brought a basket of chips and several bowls of salsa to the table, along with three glasses of water.
“Eat dinner?” Tarik asked sardonically, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline. “It’s a daily occurrence for me, honestly.”
Mia gave an unladylike snort and then laughed at herself while the two of them smiled. “That’s not what I meant. Do you do these types of things often? The laser tag, rock climbing, bowling?”
“Quite a bit, yes,” Phoenix told her.
He had crowded her into the booth, stealing the spot beside her and forcing Tarik to sit on the other side. Not that Tarik seemed at all bothered. In fact, he’d planted his huge booted foot between her feet beneath the table. She found she liked that he wanted to touch her.
“It’s a good way to relax,” Tarik added.
“I’m not sure I’d call today relaxing,” Mia told them as she reached for a chip. “Fun, yes. Relaxing, not so much.”
“So you had a good time?” Tarik asked.
“The best,” she answered truthfully. “I don’t think I’ve laughed that much in years.”
The waiter came to take their orders, and all three of them, without looking at the menu, ordered fajitas. When they were once again left alone, Mia continued asking questions, delving into something that had her curious. “So, I’ve got a question. I … uh…” She felt her face flame as the sentence drifted through her head but didn’t come out of her mouth.
Tarik smirked, that crooked grin that made Mia’s insides turn to mush. “Spit it out, little girl.”
That was not the first time that one of them had called her “little girl,” and she felt a frisson of pleasure course through her at the term. It didn’t sound at all condescending when they said it, and she found she liked that they’d given her a sort of nickname.
“It’s true that the two of you are bisexual?”
Okay, so maybe she should’ve waited until Phoenix wasn’t drinking his water. When he started choking, Tarik roared with laughter, and Mia fought the urge to giggle as she patted Phoenix’s back. They’d drawn the attention of several people sitting around them, but Tarik merely waved them off, assuring them that Phoenix wasn’t going to die.
“That’s not what I expected you to ask,” Phoenix finally said, his voice strained as though he were gasping for air. Which, technically, he probably was.
“I didn’t know any other way to word it.”
Phoenix drank more water, clearing his throat as he stared over at her, his eyes wide in disbelief.
“What? I read it in the tabloids, so it’s not like it’s not public knowledge.”
“It’s never been substantiated,” Tarik said, reaching for more chips.
“Well, it kinda was today,” she told him.
“No one saw that kiss but the three of us,” Phoenix mumbled.
“That’s what you think,” Tarik stated. “There’re video cameras in those places.”
Phoenix’s eyes widened.
“Okay, I think it’s safe to say it’s true,” Mia said, placing her hand on Phoenix’s arm. “Did you not want people to know?”
“I don’t know what’s true,” Phoenix said softly, looking down at his hands resting on the table.
“Oh.” She thought… But they’d… That kiss had kind of said it all, as far as she was concerned.
“He’s in denial,” Tarik muttered, peering up at Phoenix as he said the words.
Phoenix’s only answer was to glare at Tarik.
Tarik looked at her and asked, “Did it bother you?”
Mia shook her head, fearing she wouldn’t be able to get the words out. It hadn’t bothered her. Not the way he was thinking. She’d been a little surprised, a lot aro
used, but not entirely taken aback since she had read the articles that claimed they’d been together.
“I’ve never…”
When Phoenix didn’t continue, Tarik filled in for him. “He’s never been with a man.”
Mia read the underlying meaning. Phoenix had never had sex with a man. Interesting.
“But you’re attracted to them?” she asked.
“How’d this become an interrogation?” Phoenix asked, his tone clipped.
“Sorry, I just… Forget I asked.” Mia reached for her water, wishing like hell the waiter would bring the food and the margaritas. She needed something to do with her mouth and her hands because clearly Phoenix wasn’t interested in talking about himself, and after the day they’d shared, she had nothing but questions.
“Look,” Phoenix said, placing his hand on her leg. “I’m sorry. And to answer your question, I’ve been attracted to men before. But I’ve never … given in.”
“Until Tarik.”
“I don’t consider a kiss as giving in,” Phoenix rebutted.
“He’s stubborn,” Tarik inserted, looking at Phoenix, a silent conversation taking place between them.
Mia noticed the longing in Tarik’s golden gaze. She hadn’t seen it before now, but it was clear. Tarik wanted Phoenix. Hell, she’d go so far as to say he was probably in love with the man. But Phoenix was obviously not there yet.
Luckily, as though he knew the tension had grown too thick for them to continue, the waiter interrupted, bringing their food and drinks. For the next few minutes, the three of them ate without speaking. An uncomfortable silence settled between them. By the time Tarik was preparing his third fajita and Phoenix was finishing his second, Mia couldn’t take it anymore.
“Can one of you explain something to me?” Mia asked, pushing her plate away and pulling her margarita closer. “And I promise, I’m not going ask about your sexual preferences.”
Tarik grinned, but Phoenix still looked a little worried.
“What do you want us to explain?” Phoenix asked, looking over at her sideways.
“Is he” — she nodded toward Tarik — “really your bodyguard?”
“Technically, yes. Or he seems to think so. His real job’s handling public relations for the Arrows. He needs something more to do besides stand around and look pretty.”
Mia grinned as she looked across the table. Tarik was definitely handsome; he was also extremely intimidating, but he certainly was not pretty. “How long have you worked for him?”
“Six years for the Arrows,” Tarik explained.
“As a bodyguard?”
Phoenix didn’t hesitate with his answer, and Mia realized she’d stumbled onto a much safer subject. “He started out as PR working for my father. Somewhere along the way, he became his pseudo-bodyguard, and he’s remained in both roles after the incident a year ago. Nothing serious, but my mother didn’t seem to care how small it was. She was worried, and by having him there, I think it puts her mind at ease somewhat.”
“Nothing serious?” Tarik snorted. “He had a crazy husband threatening to shoot off his balls and feed them to him.”
“Oh.” The thought of Phoenix sleeping with married women made her gut tighten. She’d been on the receiving end of a cheating spouse, and she absolutely didn’t condone it.
“It sounds worse than it is,” Phoenix said, lowering his voice and speaking directly to her. “Honest to God, Mia, I had no idea she was married. Not until the guy threatened my life. That’s not who I am.”
“He’s telling the truth, Mia,” Tarik imparted as he leaned over the table, reaching for her hand. Obviously the two of them must’ve noticed how the news bothered her. “She never told him.”
Mia nodded, wrapping her head around it. For a moment, she wondered if Damien had told the women he slept with that he was married. Then she remembered that he was in the public eye, so most likely they’d already known, anyway.
Not that she cared.
Not anymore.
“Well, I think it was smart for you to have someone to watch your back,” Mia told Phoenix. “Damien never hired a bodyguard. He insisted that he was man enough to take on any threat.”
“He’s also a fucking idiot,” Phoenix stated under his breath, his tone reflecting his apparent dislike for her ex-husband.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring him up,” she told him, looking down at the table.
Phoenix took her hand, and she peered back up at him. “Landry’s part of your past, Mia. I don’t expect you to be able to talk about yourself without his name coming up. Do I like the guy? No. But that’s for personal reasons.”
“So you know him?” she asked, trepidation churning in her gut. She knew Damien was suing Phoenix, but he’d never brought it up, so she hadn’t, either. Mostly out of fear that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her. The first time they’d gone to dinner, Phoenix had seemed oblivious to anything to do with Damien, yet she knew that wasn’t the case.
Phoenix released her hand and leaned back when the waiter delivered another round of margaritas and started taking empty plates from the table. “I know him. I’m actually surprised that you hadn’t heard of me. Landry claims that my father backed out of a deal to sell the Arrows, right before he passed away. He’s suing me for a ridiculous amount of money to compensate for his time.”
“He wanted to buy your team?” Mia asked, trying to think back to previous conversations she’d overheard when she was married to Damien. She hadn’t usually been privy to his business because he’d believed that she wasn’t smart enough to understand, and quite frankly, Mia had never corrected him. “I knew he’d become obsessed with hockey, but I didn’t know he was looking to go that far.”
“So he claims. It’s all hearsay at this point, because my father’s not here to defend himself,” Phoenix said, his tone reassuring.
“So what happens now? With the lawsuit?”
Phoenix met her gaze and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table and clasping his hands together. She looked over at Tarik, then back to Phoenix. She knew that whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to make her happy. At least not if his expression was anything to go by.
“I met with him a few weeks ago and informed him that he needs to go away. I’m not interested in him or anything he has to say.”
“A few weeks ago?” Mia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. If Phoenix had spoken to Damien a few weeks ago, the chances of him making the connection to her had to be rather great. The guy was smart, there was no denying that. She had to wonder why he hadn’t said anything. “Before or after you and I went to dinner?”
“Before.”
“Why did you act like you had no idea who he was?” she asked, exasperated. She should’ve known. He was a liar, like Damien.
“That’s not entirely true,” he stated cautiously. “You asked if I’d looked into your history. I told you that I would prefer to hear the details straight from you. There’s a big damn difference there. He’s your ex-husband, Mia. I didn’t think that was relevant.”
“So you knew exactly who I was when you had that meeting with Damien?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“And when you manipulated the seating chart at the charity ball?” She didn’t know for a fact that he was responsible, but based on what Alex had told her, she figured it was safe to assume.
Phoenix looked at Tarik before nodding his head.
When Phoenix’s gaze lowered to the table once more, she knew that was guilt. He’d pretended not to know who she was. So the big question was… “Why? Why did you pretend?”
“I didn’t pretend,” he said defensively, looking up at Tarik and then back to her. “I wanted to get to know you. I don’t give a shit about Landry or the fact that you were married to him. That’s your past, and it doesn’t mean anything unless you want it to, Mia. Last I checked, you weren’t party to the lawsuit, so I didn’t think it mattered.”
Mia didn’t know wh
at to say to that. She was angry and hurt, and for whatever reason, all the millions of tiny pieces of her shattered heart were rattling around in her chest, aching all over again. Although for an entirely different reason now. Damien had been blatant with his adultery. He’d purposely ended their marriage by making it obvious that he’d cheated, and he hadn’t tried to hide anything. But Phoenix… He clearly wasn’t being honest with her. He was pretending.
And that hurt more than it should have.
“I’d like to go home now,” she told him abruptly.
Phoenix nodded his head in understanding and moved out of the booth to allow her to get up. When she stood, stopping to look at Tarik briefly, she couldn’t resist asking him the same question. “Did you know about this?”
Tarik met her gaze head on. “I know everything that goes on with Phoenix, Mia.”
Nodding her understanding while the band around her heart tightened even more, Mia tried to calm herself. She was so angry she felt tears threatening, and the absolute last thing she would do was let another man see her cry. She’d done enough of that with Damien.
Turning on her heel, Mia snagged her coat and headed for the front doors. Phoenix and Tarik followed right behind her.
Mia continued walking until she was outside while Phoenix stopped and talked with the hostess.
She was tempted to start walking home, but her condo was several blocks away, and she wasn’t comfortable walking alone that far from home. Especially as the sun was beginning to set behind the buildings, and the shadows were slowly filling in. So she waited, trying her best not to let the anger get the best of her. She found it strange that she felt betrayed by Phoenix in ways she’d never felt by Damien. It wasn’t like she knew him all that well. They’d been on a couple of dates, they’d talked and kissed, but other than that…
God, she felt so pathetic standing there feeling as though someone else had purposely trashed her heart for reasons unbeknownst to her. She was a lightweight when it came to relationships, that was clear. Why couldn’t she be stronger? More resilient? Wasn’t she starting over? Taking control of her own life? Living in the moment?
A Million Tiny Pieces Page 20