by LC Lehesaho
So. Fucking. Hard.
A figure appears behind my balcony door, and before I can whisper it's open, a loud knock echoes in my loft—making Cobra jerk awake. She jumps up before I can react, looking around with wild-eyes and panting.
"Baby, it's okay. You're home." I straighten myself, reaching a hand towards her.
She keeps staring at me like she doesn't even recognize me—like she's still somewhere else.
"Cobra, it's me. C'mon, baby. Everything is okay," I cajole her.
"Oh, shit," she gasps, getting back to reality, and fans her face. Her posture loosens up, but the knots in my stomach don't. It hurts to see her like this.
"Dude, let me in!" Puma's voice shouts from the balcony.
"It's open, you idiot!" I snap back without moving my stare from Cobra. She wipes her hair back, taking shuddering breaths, and holds one hand over her stomach; it must still hurt. Puma makes his way in, and when Cobra glances at him, I do it too.
He is wearing his hideous fight shorts with rose patterns—there are red roses with a gold chain and bright green leaves, and they're fucking awful—and a black hoodie. The cap on his head is again backward, the blond hair peeking slightly from the side.
"You ready, man?" he asks, walking straight to Cobra, who still stands where she jumped, now taking in the situation. "Hey, sis."
Puma folds his hands around Cobra, and she answers the hug slowly, greeting him in a raspy voice.
"Ready for what?" I arch a brow, trying to think if I forgot something.
"We were supposed to spar today." Puma turns to me, keeping his hand over Cobra's shoulder. She looks more relaxed and smiles at me, taking my hand and letting me pull her back to me.
"Yeah, right. I forgot." I focus on Cobra, how fucking well she fits in my lap. Her hands wrap around me, and I feel her hot breathing on my neck as she leans her head on my shoulder.
Puma sweeps the sketchpad and markers aside from the low coffee table and sits there, eyes on us. There's a smile playing on his face, but his eyes have a worried shadow in them as he watches Cobra.
"Well, I'm waiting, so go change," he says, picking a phone from the pocket of his hoodie. "Cobra, who do you wanna hang out with while we're in the gym?"
I shake my head. "I'm not coming—"
Cobra leans back, eyeing me behind her long lashes. "Of course, you're going." She spins her head towards Puma. "And I don't need a babysitter, god dammit."
"I didn't mean babysitter, sis," he huffs, rolling his eyes.
"Baby, I'm staying with you—" I start, but she cuts me off, grabbing hold of my jaw, and her hazel eyes pierce into me like lasers.
"I'll be right here when you come back. It'll do you good to let out some steam, right?"
Puma taps his phone without giving us any attention—I already know what he's doing. I want to argue, tell her I'm not fucking leaving her even for a second, but who am I kidding? Cobra is the most stubborn person I've ever met, even more than I am.
The knock—this time on the front door—makes Puma push himself up, and he slides the phone back in his pocket, pointing his index finger at me. "Go. Change."
Cobra tries to linger away from my lap, but I tighten my grip on her.
"Jeez, Tiger," she sighs, wiping her forehead again, but her lips are curved up into a fucking cute smile. "We're in the same building, and I promise I can manage while you're there. You're not the kind of guy who stays still all day, or you'll explode, so go."
"I am if it means I can be with you," I tell her, rubbing her back with my other hand. But there is truth in her words. I'm wired to the limits, all the things she's—we're—going through and the fact I didn't go for a run or gym this morning has gathered energy inside me which is just waiting to ignite.
I don't want Cobra to be the one taking the blast if I lose my shit.
And when we need to talk about... things, I can't already be on edge.
She tilts her head, biting her lip, like waiting for me to say something she wants to hear—something else than me going all soft.
"Okay, okay, I'll go." I lift my hands, letting her go. "But how are you feeling, baby?"
"My heart has tripled its speed, but otherwise just fine. Sweaty, but fine." Cobra gets up, glancing at the door. A wide grin spreads to her face as Bear makes an appearance into my living room.
"Squirt, you look like shit," he announces, lifting a brown bag in the air. The smell of cheeseburgers floats to my nose. "I'm coming with gifts."
"Yay! I'm so hungry," she squeaks happily and turns back to me. "Go on now, I'll be fine."
Although I need to go, I don't want to. Reluctantly, I push myself up and kiss the top of her head. "I'll be back in an hour. Be careful with your leg."
She gives me a dulled look. "Phew, it's not the worst stab wound I've had, and you know it. This one didn't even hit the muscle, so in a couple of days, I'll be ready to kick your ass in the gym."
Bear tousles her hair, laughing. "That's my sister."
I don't fucking agree. She is downplaying her injuries like she always does. Okay, the stab wound might not be so bad, but fuck, she's been vomiting her guts out and sweating every drop of water out of her body all day. If she tries to act like everything is fine, she'll fucking have a heart attack soon.
"Cobra, I mean it. You need to rest." I swift my eyes to Bear, giving him a murderous glare. "If you let her go anywhere else than the bathroom, I'll fucking kill you. Do you get me? I. Will. Kill. You."
He wears a million-dollar jackass smirk. "We are gonna head to carting car track and then take some shots, right, squirt?"
Cobra nods, a playful gleam in her eyes, and her cheeks already full of a cheeseburger. I don't know how the hell she can eat after seeing how even water didn't stick inside her in the morning, but I'm glad she can now.
"You two are both idiots." I roll my eyes at their quipping, but I kiss her cheek before I join Puma, who's waiting for me already at the door. My training wear is at the gym because I'm just too lazy to carry them to my loft and back.
I hear Cobra chuckling when I close the door behind us, and it makes me worried that she pulls on the familiar facade she's always been wearing—the A-grade invincible little angel—and falls into the same patterns as before. And eventually, she believes what happened is her fault, and everything starts all over again.
She's tough—one of the strongest people I've ever met—but being strong doesn't always benefit her. One day the walls will break down, no matter how strong they are, if there's even the slightest crack on the foundation. I know because I feel it in myself. My crack is getting bigger and bigger nowadays, and I have to do something about it.
I just don't fucking know what.
"Hey, even though I hate the bastard, I have to admit his company might do good for her," Puma states as we walk down the stairs. "You know, make her laugh with his stupid jokes and all. Cobra is Bear's only weakness, even that fucker won't admit it, and he wants her to feel like home. That's why I asked him there."
"Yeah, I know, but I'm still worried about her." I look around to check if anyone is hearing us as we enter the hallway leading to the gym, but there is no one. Just for precaution, I lean closer, so I don't spill shit where it doesn't belong. Puma takes the hint and cocks his head towards me, making us look like brat boys gossiping about where to buy the best coke. "There's one thing that appeared in her blood test."
Puma stops, grabbing me by shoulders and gapes at me with shock in his eyes. "Is she pregnant?"
"What? No!" I grumble back, keeping my tone quiet. "She's," I take another look around, just for sure, before continuing, "addicted to benzos. Those fuckers injected her daily with big hits."
"Holy fucking cow," Puma gasps, jerking his cap off and tears a hand through his hair before placing it back on. "Oh, shit. That's bad. Is she taking pills now?"
I shake my head. "No, she doesn't want to, and now she's having nasty withdrawals. I'm so fucking worried about her."
&n
bsp; "Fuck, she really should take those pills. It can go really bad. No one else knows?"
"No. Only Leo and me." I give him a warning glare. "And you can't say shit that you know, got it?"
"Yeah, I won't—" He stops when a faint moan comes from behind the storage room's door. We share what the fuck look, and when a low growl comes next, Puma grabs me by the arm, pulling me to the cleaning closet next to us.
"Why the hell did you lock us here?" I mutter to him under my breath as he glues his ear to the door, bringing his index finger to his lips—shushing me off.
The smell of disinfectant makes me want to puke, and I have to hold my nose not to smell it. Puma looks like a fucking idiot when he eavesdrops the hallway, and soon, the sound of the door opening reveals that the bonking couple is coming out.
Only one pair of steps walks past the cleaning closet, and after waiting for a couple of seconds, Puma peeks out, not making a sound—his skills at breaking into houses include working in silence.
"What the…" he glances at me, whispering. "It's Falcon."
"Who was she fucking?"
Puma's eyes flicker in a very sneaky manner. "Let's go see." At that, he sneaks out the door. I follow him, shaking my head. He is such a dork sometimes. I don't actually give a rat’s ass who she was fucking. None of my business.
Before Puma gets to the door handle of the storage room's door, someone's muffled voice comes through it. He freezes, glancing at me. I also stop in my tracks. I recognize the voice who keeps talking.
"Yeah, daddy's little bitch is still alive. I just fucked the other sister, and she told me—no, they're keeping it all down. Like nothing has happened. What do you want me to do, Mr. C?"
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"I mean, she's striking, why the fuck you don’t wanna be with her?" I shout to Bear over the shower's noise, rinsing the conditioner off my hair. I've been in the shower many times today already, but this is the first time I'm functional enough to actually wash my hair and not just cool off and try to breathe. Right now, I feel okay—the total opposite than in the morning—but Doc said my state could go from left to right and up to down ten times a day.
I can see his other shoulder as he leans against the wall beside the open bathroom door—he insisted it stays open, so he hears if I fall or some shit. I bet he is really just scared of Tiger—he should be—and wants to make sure nothing happens to me on his watch. For the sake of decency, Bear stays outside even though I know he's fucked up enough to be inside, whistling, and watching me in the shower.
He hasn't always been like that—an asshole with no shame and with a very selective conscience—but I've learned to live with it.
B is still my brother, and I love him as he is.
"I'm not gonna marry some chick just 'cause she's having my kid," he retorts, tapping his phone. "Her pussy is not that great. I bet it's just going worse after she pushes the baby out of there."
"Oh, my god!" I throw a shampoo bottle to his shoulder, and it bounces onto the living room floor. "You can't say that! It's rude and wrong in every way! Giving birth to a baby is a miracle, you asshole!"
I might change my opinion about loving him in the next nine months. I don't know how Rose stands him.
Bear laughs, all bouncy but like his timbre, as he speaks, it's thick and dark. "It's true. Just wait what Tiger says when your p—"
"Shut up, or the next bottle will end up into your ass, brother!" I bark, turning the shower off.
"Kinky," he snickers and, without any warning, walks into the bathroom. I yelp, covering myself with my hands as best as I can.
"Get out!"
"Relax, sis." He throws me a towel from the rack and starts to go through the cabinet under the sink. I wrap it around me, goosebumps on my skin he actually did it. No fucking boundaries, gosh.
He's wearing all black again, a tight T-shirt leaves his muscled arms on sight, and fitted jeans tells everyone coming his way that Bear has never missed leg day. His looks are probably the reason chicks are ready to ignore the fact he is a world-class dickhead.
Okay, Tiger might be one too from time to time, but at least he cares about me. You can't say the same about Bear and his fuckbuddies. Poor girls.
"Here it is," he says, sitting on top of the closed toilet seat and curls his index finger at me. "Come on, squirt. We need to change the bandage on your thigh."
There's an emergency kit on his lap, and he picks the right equipment for playing the doctor. Honestly, he doesn't have to play much—he's been studying medical things. With his sharp brain, he can learn just about anything incredibly fast. When we were little kids, B wanted to become a doctor, and actually Dad was quite excited about it. Then life happened.
I walk to him, my leg keeping my weight easily. I didn't lie to Tiger. The screwdriver didn't sink into my muscle, passed it just barely. Good thing I have thick thighs—credits go to M&Ms and other unhealthy stuff I happen to love.
"Have you had an ultrasound yet?" I ask him, getting back to our original subject before he started to talk shit.
"No, in a couple of weeks is the first one." He unfolds the bandage Doc made and starts to examine the wound. The stitches don't look bad, but my entire thigh has turned into the color of a rotten eggplant. Bear takes one bottle out of the kit and sprays something on the wound. It's cold and soothing, making me sigh from the feel-good it provides.
Bear cocks his head back, looking at me with a dazzling grin. "Wanna come there with me?"
My heart bounces from the excitement before I think it through. I swallow the happy shriek which tried to escape from my mouth and give him a questioning look. "You don't think Rose would have something to say about that? It's her baby too, and besides, being in an ultrasound is super personal."
"She has nothing to say about it. The bitch has gotten on my nerves more than enough lately. I swear to God, she has something wrong with her brain." He starts to wrap a new bandage around my thigh with firm moves. "I'd appreciate it if you'd be there with me." His voice has a hint of uncertainty and plea in it like he is actually nervous, and my heart melts for my brother.
Bear is a devil may care kind of person, zero fucks given about anything, and realizing he cares about the baby enough to actually feel something is heartwarming.
Though I feel bad for Rose for having to deal with him, but you reap what you sow. Everyone in the city knows how Bear is; it shouldn't be a surprise for her either.
"Okay, we'll see. But I wanna talk with Rose first, okay?" I sigh, knowing I'm gonna be neck-deep in Bear's shit, but if I focus on this, my mind might stop reeling the video from the past weeks.
"Good luck with that. She's fucking crazy," he snorts, petting my thigh after he's done with the nursing. "Let's go, I'm thirsty."
After I'd dressed in another Tiger's shirt and yellow shorts, which Bear picked up from my loft, we sat on the couch side by side, watching some nonsense on TV. As usual, he has a drink in his hand, and I pick another candy from the bag he brought for me. My mind has been strictly under control, and Bear has done a great job keeping my brain busy.
"If it's a boy, how about Polar?" he asks, sipping his black drink.
The burst of laughter makes the candy fly off my mouth. "Hideous! Why can't it be something normal and not freaky as ours?"
"Phew, our names are not freaky," he huffs, stealing the candy from me and throws it to his mouth.
"Oh, yeah? I got bullied by it in third grade, remember?" I turn my voice into a mocking tone. "Where’s your hood, snake?"
Bear slaps his palm to his chest, laughing so hard his eyes waters. I watch him with a deadpan look on my face, waiting for him to gather himself. It takes a good while.
"Oh, fuck, I didn't even remember! Then I got suspended for two weeks 'cause I taped those brats’ heads into the toilets. But they didn't bully you after that, squirt."
"Yeah, and everyone started to call you Grizzly." I point out, filling my mouth with M&Ms. "Maybe it's better if we find a more orig
inal name for the baby, okay?"
"I don't wanna my kid to be something like Peter or Karen." Bear shivers for the thought of it. He is just about to say something else when “Trust Nobody” by DJ Snake fills the living room, and Bear picks his phone up.
I peek at the screen and catch Puma's name from it.
"Poor baby, did Big Bad Tiger break your nose, and you need an ice bag?" he snickers to the phone, and I climb on my knees to eavesdrop properly. Bear plants his palm to my face, keeping me at a distance, even when I try to dodge him. His brows knit together from something Puma says, and his jaw tightens along with his entire body.
"What? Fuck, I want to—" he gets cut off, and almost growls beside me. "Okay, I will—well, suck my cock, stoner—yeah, fine."
Bear slams the phone to the couch, looking like he is ready to rip his shirt off and roar. I throw my hands in the air. "What was it? Is everything okay?"
Clearly not, and I don't even know why I asked. I just wanna fucking scream and run around the mansion.
He tears his hands through his hair, crossing fingers behind his head, and a low grumble rises from his chest. "Tiger and Puma found the mole."
My eyes bulk out, and I grab hold of his muscled arm, shaking it. "Who is it? We have to go there!"
"Yeah, no. You're ordered to stay here and not to strain yourself," he says through clenched teeth. I can see he's as pissed as me about that. "We are not allowed to participate in this situation. Dad's coming home with Wolf, and they're dealing with it."
CHAPTER TWENTY
The fucker's teeth are painted red from the blood dripping from his nose as he grins, "Have you licked her cunt clean from Levi's cum already? I heard he fucked her good—"
My nerves snap like a rubber band.
One fucking second, and Corey—the piece-of-shit security guard, aka Silas's snitch—goes down on the cement floor with a bang, my fingers curled around his throat. I cock my right fist back, giving him all I fucking have, and collide it against his face. When I jerk it back, attempting to do it again, Puma grabs hold of my arm.