by Thia Finn
“That big bitch they live in cost more than a lot of fucking houses.” Gunner nodded his head agreeing with me. His next comment took me completely by surprise.
“Makes me wonder how long we’ll do this after all of us are married or have kids or both.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Gunner?”
“Carter, we can’t live our lives like this forever. Being on the fucking road all the time is no way for a family to live. Once the kids start school, we’ll have to either hire tutors or stop touring. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I leave Lola behind with my kids.”
I couldn’t say anything. I honestly didn’t know how to respond to his statement. I never considered what our fucking lives would be like after all of these guys married and popped out babies. The thought of me being married? Oh, hell no. I didn’t know if I’d ever get married. I liked my freedom. I damn sure loved having a different woman in my bed. I liked having a couple at a time if the participants were down with it. Hell, there was a time that Gunner and I shared two or three women in the same room.
Now that Hayden was my wingman, that didn’t happen too often. He wasn’t down with sharing unless he was wasted and whiskey dick wasn’t always a good thing with the ladies. It’s a good thing he’s young.
“Carter?” Gunner called my name. “You asleep behind those dark shades?”
“No, man. Just thinking about how our lives have changed. We had some great times in that old van in the beginning, even before Chandler took Jacoby’s place.”
We spent the next hour of the flight reliving some fun times on the road with all of the women we shared and the drunken nights before we stumbled back to the bus.
When the pilot announced to prepare for landing, Gunner and I both were on the floor with all of the superheroes spread around. The four of us conquered every antihero in the universe and a few out of it. The entire cabin of the plane offered places to set up our forces to fight the bad guys, hiding behind furniture and rolling under tables as we saved the world. Gunner and I were both still kids and having two five-year-olds to entertain with their wild imaginations allowed for a great way to spend a few hours.
“Uncle C?” Crew buckled in beside me.
“Yeah, dude? What’s up?”
“Do you think my daddy wants a girlfriend?”
I noticed him watching Chandler and KeeMac cuddling on the couch while we used their legs and feet to hide behind. Oh, wow. How do I answer this?
“Well, Crew, that’s hard to say, but I think the answer will be yes. I mean when he’s ready.”
“How will I know he’s ready?” He put his little hand on mine that laid on the armrest. I took it and held it tight while the plane was coming in for a landing.
“Little dude, I don’t think that’s something you have to worry about. You know your daddy loves you more than anything in the world, right? I don’t think he’ll get a girlfriend without talking to you first.” I felt sure that was the truth. I wouldn’t want to lie to him.
“Will he marry her so I’ll have a real mommy like Tucker does?” Shit. This was getting deep. I didn’t know if I was the right guy to be answering these questions.
“Now that’s something I can’t answer for you, Crew. He’ll only marry her if she loves you like he does. That’s a fact.” My brain rolled over looking for the right answers.
“What if the new mommy doesn’t want a boy like my mommy didn’t?” Oh my God. Why was he asking me these things? My heart broke for him. Did he think about this a lot? That fucking bitch of a mother of his, Krissy. I would like to strangle her dumb ass right this very minute. Who does this to a child?
I unbuckled him and pulled him into my lap. This earned me a death stare from Peri and Ryan, but I shook my head no. I hugged the little guy as tightly as I could. The lump in my throat melted a little as I kissed the top of his head.
“You know what, Crew? There are so many people sitting right here on this plane who love you and will always make sure you’re wanted. Heck, even a crazy guy like me would be happy to have you as my little boy any day of the week. But you see, Crew, I know your daddy pretty well, and I honestly don’t believe he would ever choose a girl that didn’t love you as much he and we all do. You’re too special to everyone to not have the best mommy ever.” Was that enough? Hell, I floundered in unchartered waters here.
“You mean, you would let me come live with you if you got a wife, and we could be a real family?”
“Dude, you’re always welcome in my house, but I think I’d have to fight your dad to get you away from him. He loves you too much to let you go. What’s that he always tells you about loving you?”
He perks up and smiles at me, and just like that the lump was back. “He loves me more than there are stars in the sky at night in Texas. That’s why we count them all the time. We get beside each other on the lay-down pool chair with all of the lights off. We count as high as I can go, like a hundred million trillion.”
“Whoa, that’s a lot of stars, dude. It’s a good thing we live in Texas so you can see so many.”
“Yes, sir, and sometimes we see a shooting star, and he tells me to wish on it. You want to know what I wish for every single time?”
Dammit, I knew what was coming. “Sure, Crew, what do you wish for?”
“I always wish to be able to sing like my daddy ‘cause he’s the best singer ever.”
Okay, not what I expected him to say but thank God. I dodged a bullet on that one. “Yes, sir, young man. You are right about that. Your dad is the best singer ever but don’t tell UncKee—his own rendition for Uncle KeeMac—that. It might hurt his little feelings.”
I had never been so fucking happy for a five-year-old attention span in my life. That was some heavy shit we were talking about. I needed to tell the others about it soon. He’s obviously thought about this to ask those kinds of questions. I wondered if he’d mentioned it to his dad yet. I guess I’ve gotta watch what I say around the two little guys more. I never realized how much they took in at this age. Obviously, he’d already internalized a lot of what he heard or saw.
I kept him in my lap until the plane rolled to a stop and waited for the attendant to open the door. I kissed him on the top of his little head again and stood him up. He grabbed my hand as we started toward the door. Guess my little buddy and I were partners now since he didn’t have to share me with anyone.
Chapter Five
Hayden met me in one of the rehearsal rooms. I opened my guitar case with my back to the door when I heard it open. A little tingle pulsed through me thinking it might be one of AD, but they weren’t supposed to be in until this evening so I knew it had to be him. I turned and saw this gorgeous man walk through the door shutting it behind him. Just one look told me it probably didn’t take him long to develop a huge following of groupies all vying for a chance to get a piece of him. They probably fought over who could get the closest to him onstage. He was definitely hot in a young guy sort of way. His age didn’t matter to me if he could play and sing. I’m not old, but he still had the little boy face that would attract a lot of the younger crowd unless he let the scruff grow on his face like he tended to do.
The onstage experience and touring with AD made him a perfect partner for me. My stage experience in smaller venues, bars to be exact, gave me some credit. I needed to bring my best work to this meeting so he would be impressed with my talents. I caught Cash’s attention and didn’t even know he watched me the first time. Now I planned to do the same thing to Hayden so he knew I deserved this opportunity.
“Hello, I’m Victory,” I said as I offered him my hand.
“Hey, I’m Hayden. Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Oh God, no, just no. You can’t call me ma’am. I’m not that old.” I tried to brighten my strained smile, but he knew I wasn’t angry.
“Yeah, I’m just programmed that way. My mom and grandparents teach old-school manners and ma’am is one of them. It’s a habit drilled in from b
irth in the south.” His perfect smile proved the honesty of his words.
“I’m from Texas, too, and understand completely. Damn kid, we’re going to be partners, and I’m not having you remind me I’m getting older by the day.” My plastered-on smile started hurting my cheeks with the fakeness of it. I finally dropped it for a more natural one since my nervousness dissipated with each sentence.
“You’re not old at all so don’t think that way, and I promise to try and drop it.” He let go of my hand and opened his guitar case on the top of a cabinet. “You do much writing?”
“Yeah, I do some covers in my sets, but I prefer to play my own music.” I tuned my guitar preparing to play.
“I feel the same way. I play all of AD’s music as well, but I damn sure prefer mine. I’ve written a few songs for them, too.”
“Really, which ones? I’m familiar with all of their music.”
“Life Worth Living. You know that one?”
“No, is it new?”
“Yeah, it’s about my son and one of AD’s sons. Those two little monsters are like brothers.”
“That’s great. Which one from AD?” I tried not to read anything in the gossip magazines about AD. The trash those rags could spin out of something innocent appalled me. I honestly didn’t want to see what or who Carter was doing. The few times I found myself staring at the thin newsprint in the grocery-store line, he filled whole pages with beautiful arm candy or some gorgeous supermodel type wrapped around his body in a suggestive pose. His man-whore status became etched in stone, and he looked proud of it.
“So you call them the little monsters?” I laughed thinking they were probably spoiled, rotten kids.
“No, we do have a lot of names for them, though: Bevis and Butthead, Spiderman and Batman, the James Gang, Thing Two and Thing Two, Shake and Bake. Depends on what they’re doing at the time. Sometimes it’s terrorizing the nanny and sometimes saving the world. You know typical little boy shit.”
“And of course, they have real names?” I asked.
“Ryan and Peri’s son, Tucker. My son’s name is Crew. They were born a couple of weeks apart. We live with them, too. It’s a long story, but we’re all good now. Peri’s made sure of that.”
“Cash introduced me to Peri at his office. Seems like a great person to work with.”
“She’s the best and the reason we all live together. That girl wouldn’t take no for an answer. You’ll love her. She takes care of everyone.”
“Sounds like you found a gem with her.”
“Crew and I both did. Ryan’s one lucky fucker. Those two were meant to be together. You’ll see it the first time you meet them.”
“Great. I look forward to it.”
“So, Victory, let’s see what we’re going to do together here. You even heard any of my damn songs?” His laugh made him sound like he was joking.
“I’ve heard all of your songs. I went home and YouTubed the hell out of your music.”
He laughed out loud at that. “I hope it sounded half-way good. I honestly don’t know how some of that shit got on there. I don’t even bother to look at it anymore. Scares the hell out of me.”
Now it was my turn to laugh at him. “Hey, at least people like your music and gigs enough to record you.”
“Before this is over, I have a gut feeling everyone will know about The Hayden Victory. Hey, I kinda like that.” He said the name again. “You know, not like my name is Hayden Victory, but The Hayden Victory like it’s a thing all by itself.”
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. You haven’t even heard me play or sing. What if it’s shit?”
“First off, I know for a fact you have to be outstanding to have impressed Cash. The guy’s ability for finding talented singers proceeds him. And second, Peri wouldn’t line up AD with anyone fucking lousy. I told you, she’s very protective when it comes to her guys and Channey.”
“Channey? Who’s that?” I strummed across my strings while he tuned a little more.
“Oh, that would be Chandler Chatam, musical genius. The girl’s a music prodigy, but you would be too if your dad was Ryder fucking Steele.”
“Yeah, I heard about that somewhere.”
“She’s great, though. Channey’s what the boys call her. She loves them like they were hers.”
“I have a hell of a lot of people’s names to learn if this all works out.”
“Then let’s give it a whirl and see what ya got.”
He launched into his hottest tune on the market. Of course, I recognized it right away so I joined him. When the lyrics began, I backed him up softly to get a feel for his pitch and the rhythm. When he reached the guitar solo in the middle, I continued to play the accompanying part while he tore up the music. We came back together after it, and I think we both knew this would be a success. Our voices blended perfectly together.
It didn’t take many songs before we began feeding off each other. He listened to some of my songs and after one time through, he joined me. Our harmonies were on point.
“Damn, that was outstanding, Vic.” Hayden stood up and fist bumped me.
“Yeah, after the first song, my gut told me it would be kickass music.”
“It’s more than kickass. It’s fucking fierce, babe. Fierce.” He didn’t have to use words at this point. His opinion was all over his face. “We gotta get Cash in here.”
Cash walked through the door clapping his hands. “I knew it when I heard her at the bar. She’s got the sound you need on some of your songs, Hayden, and vice-versa. Don’t get me wrong, you both have a great sound on your own, but I think on certain songs you could come together and make them da bomb.”
I started laughing immediately, and I couldn’t stop. “Da bomb?”
“Wrong term these days?”
“How should I know? It just sounded funny coming from you.”
“You know what I’m saying, right Hayden?” Now he wanted Hayden to backup his attempt at street slang.
“Yeah, I know,” Hayden smirked and turned to me. “Sometimes you gotta overlook the old man. He still thinks he’s a teenager.”
“Dammit, I keep telling you I’m not an old man. Stop with the fucking old jokes.”
“At least he hasn’t forgotten how to use that word.” Hayden and I both started laughing, and finally, Cash joined in.
“Okay, all jokes aside. I listened to most of what you played through the headphones. With some more rehearsal time, I think you’ll be ready to hit the tour stops we have lined up and join AD in L.A.”
Hayden turned and looked at him. “How much more time do we get?”
“Tomorrow.” He grinned at us both.
“Fuck, I knew you were going to say that.” Hayden was pissed.
“What’s got you so angry? You knew this was coming up quickly,” Cash asked him.
“I wanted to be there when we put Crew on the plane with the band. Shit, I hate sending him off like that.”
“He goes with Peri and Ryan all the time. Besides, he’ll be with Tucker.”
“I know, but dammit, he’s my kid, and I like to tell him bye before he leaves with other people. You know I’m not fucking wild about flying, and he’s getting on a plane without me.” Hayden’s concern grew more intense with each sentence.
“Shit, that’s really the problem, isn’t it? You don’t want him flying without you.” Cash didn’t outwardly laugh at Hayden, but I could tell he wanted to. That wasn’t fair to Hayden. He was scared for his son.
“Right. I like to be with him on a plane. I couldn’t live if something happened, and I wasn’t there holding him.”
He saw Hayden’s real fear and offered sincere advice. “He’ll be fine. I promise. You know Peri wouldn’t let anything happen to him or let him be scared. She loves him like her own.”
“I know you’re right, but shit, it doesn’t make it any easier on me. We’ll both be fine. I’ll FaceTime him before he leaves.” Hayden picked up his guitar and turned to me raising h
is eyebrows. “You ready to do this?”
“Sure. Practice ‘til we fucking feel it. Right?”
“Hell yeah. We need to be da bomb on the stage.” We both laughed and that broke the tension. Cash left without laughing which only made us laugh harder.
On the fifth day, we were in San Diego, and I knew Hayden was ready to get this mini tour put to bed. He called Crew every day to talk, sometimes more than once. He introduced him to me over FaceTime, and I thought him adorable right up until he asked his dad if I was his girlfriend.
“No, son. She’s my partner onstage. We sing together.”
“Channey and Unkee sing together, and she’s his girl.” The adorable child obviously never missed a thing going on around him.
“Yeah, that’s true, but Victory’s my friend so don’t worry.”
“Okay, Pops.”
“Pops? Where’d that come from?” Hayden shrugged his shoulders at me.
“Pops, he’s the lollipop dad on Cartoon Network.” Crew’s tone made Hayden sound like he was behind the times and needed to catch up.
“You and Tuck watching a lot of TV?”
“No Daddy. You know RiRi won’t let us. She sets the timer and when it goes BZZZ, we have to stop. It’s okay ‘cause we get to play with our superheroes. We built a fort under the table. You should see it, Daddy…”
I walked away so the two of them could discuss fort building. Little children kind of scared me. How did people know what to do with them? At my age, I should want to be thinking about that but no. Hell no. Maybe when I reached my thirties. Right now, I had things to do.
I strummed on my guitar working on a new song when Hayden ended the call.
“I wondered where you went,” he said walking over.
“I wanted to work on this idea that keeps spinning in my brain trying to get out to my fingers.” I played the opening riff for him.
“Sounds like a great start.” He picked up his guitar and started looking over what I’d written and added to it. Before we knew it, the music for an entire song with some words appeared on the page on the music sheet. Hayden and I seemed to feed off of each other’s talents while we wrote. Our thought streams flowed together when it came to songwriting. The process banked off our minds and hit mid-stream causing a whirlpool of music for us to pull from. If one of us started to drown, the other was there with the perfect note to float the music to the bridge.