by Thia Finn
“I’ve always believed about seventy-five percent of getting in this business is luck. Lucky you’re in the right place at the right time. Lucky some bar owner needed someone to play that night. Lucky you sound good enough to catch someone’s attention.” Gunner stared down into his coffee.
“So true. It might even be a higher percentage than that.” I turned and put my feet up under me on the couch.
“You have a fiancé, right?” I asked him.
He smiled. “Yeah, yeah, I do. Her name is Lola. She’s a pediatric nurse in Austin. Thank God she’s meeting us at the next venue for her four days off. I miss the hell out of that woman.”
“That’s great you’ll get to spend time with her even with a job like she has.”
His eyes said it all. He must truly be in love with her. They make it work being on the road.
“Do you think she’ll ever travel with the band? It must be hard being away from her all the time.” I wanted to probe this line of thinking, especially with Carter somewhat listening.
“It sucks balls not having her with me. I fucking hate it, but she needs to be happy, too. Right now, her being happy involves working with children. When we get married, I want to knock her up right away so we can have a few of our own. She’s promised she’ll travel with me so we can all be together. She wants to be home to raise our kids, and home means with me.” The biggest grin spread across his face.
“That’s wonderful you feel that way about home and family.”
Carter took that opportunity to expound on the subject. “Yeah, the dudes so pussy whipped already, too. Can’t do a damn thing without talking to the little woman about it first.”
“Shut up dipshit. You know you’d give your left nut to have a real woman feel that way about you.” Gunner glared at him. “I love her with all of my being and if that means I’m pussy-whipped, then so be it. I’d gladly have it that way than the way you and I were living before her.”
“Right, right. You’d gladly give up a different free pussy every night for the same old thing. Something about that just doesn’t sound like the best way to live to me,” Carter responded to him.
My eyes played a tennis match between the two. With Gunner pouring his heart out over the love of his life and Carter siding with the single man’s mantra, I didn’t know who to believe. They both seemed perfectly happy with the way they lived their lives. I knew then I needed to step away from thinking Carter and I would ever be together again. The night before was my mistake. I wouldn’t make it again.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The bus finally stopped at the venue in Salt Lake City. We had a day to kill, and the town’s atmosphere looked like something we could do some damage in. The scenery around the city made me want to get out and do some hiking. Gunner rented a car and a hotel room for the time Lola would be here. The family people made plans to take the kids to do some of the historical things in the area.
“Chan, you and KeeMac want to go hiking? I looked up some trails in the area and there are tons of them. How about it?” I didn’t want to go alone.
KeeMac came out of the bathroom. “Hell yeah, we want to go. Chan and I scare up some of our best fun beside a fucking trail. Ain’t that right, babe?” He pulled her in and kissed her soundly.
“Yes, that’s right but I’m not so sure Carter needs to be around if you’re thinking of a repeat performance of some of our outdoor activities.”
“Sweet Chan. I would never stand in the way when nature calls, and I’d always be happy to join in the fun and games.” I wrapped my arms around both of them and hugged before KeeMac could push me back.
“No fucking way in hell you or any other motherfucker will join us for fun and games, dude. You know that.” He wasn’t mad, but his voice held a note of seriousness to it.
“Just kidding, dude. I’d never try to show your woman what she’s missing.”
“She’s not missing anything, asswipe.” He laughed and pushed me down on the couch.
“If you two have finished your pissing contest over me, I’ll pack some snacks and we can have a picnic somewhere. It’s a perfect day for it.”
Chandler spoke up, “Hey, Halo. We’re going hiking and on a picnic. You should join us and get off the bus a while.”
Halo walked toward the front of the bus. “Where’s Hayden going today?”
“They’re taking the boys to some kind of dinosaur exhibit. I’m sure you could go if you wanted to or you can hang with us for the day in the outdoors. It’ll be fun. Come on.” Chandler gave her the pleading eyes, and Halo finally smiled and nodded her head.
Shit. Just what I needed, a double date with Halo. After the amazing sex she initiated the other night, I’d tried to steer clear of her. As fantastic as it was, I didn’t want her getting any ideas that we’d be together or anything. Hell, the night after that, I couldn’t even enjoy being with all the babes who offered up pussy on a fucking platter. I needed to avoid that shit at all costs for the remainder of the tour. I’d make sure we weren’t alone on the hike. I couldn’t have her jumping me every chance she had. Hell, I’m always happy for free and clear sex, but I knew this would come with strings.
A car service took us to one of the closer hiking areas. The boulders and red rock formations looked like something in an old west movie. I could picture a fucking cowboy coming over the top of a hill with his gun drawn shooting at a bear or some other wild creature. KeeMac and I kept the banter going back and forth on our abilities to survive in the wilderness until we arrived.
Chandler packed a lunch in a couple of backpacks, and we took off with a map from the ranger station. The day was perfect for hiking, not too hot or cold. The climb proved strenuous but well worth it. We chose a perfectly flat spot and spread the blanket to stop for a break.
“Hey, Chan. Remember the last time we spread a blanket on the ground? Monumental occasion, right babe?” He pulled her in for a hard kiss and then whispered in her ear making her turn several shades of red.
“Must have been a good one for her to blush that much after all this time,” I told them.
“Hell yeah, it was,” he said.
“So spill. You can’t open that up and not tell the story.” He had me interested now in what they could have done on a blanket in the wilderness.
“Keeton. You and your big mouth.” She shoved him a little.
“Fuck yeah, it’s a big mouth and you love every single thing this big mouth can do.” He kissed her again.
“Okay. You two are giving me a chub, and I haven’t even heard the story yet.” I glanced over at Halo as she stared at the two lovers. “Don’t you want to know, too, Halo?”
“Uh, I guess. Some things aren’t meant to be shared.”
“She’s right, Keeton. Some damn things aren’t meant to be shared with the world.” Chan gave KeeMac the evil eye.
“But babe. This isn’t even that bad. Hell, he’s been on that fucking bus with us long enough to know how we roll.”
Chandler rolled her eyes and gave him a small nod.
“When we were in Colorado to play at Red Rocks, we took a little side trip over to Garden of the Gods. It’s a great place to hike, but it’s an even better place for a spontaneous good fucking.”
“Oh God.” Chandler hid her face in KeeMac’s chest which made me start laughing.
“Let’s just say a blanket behind a boulder is a good place to get your rocks off.” KeeMac laughed so hard he wiped tears from his eyes. “And yeah, the pun was intended.”
Halo laughed at his dumbass comment. Her laugh always made me smile. She looked so cute when she really got into it and made the sweetest sound.
KeeMac and Chandler took off on the trail side by side talking and laughing about stupid things they did in the years they had been together. Now that they were engaged, who knew how long they would wait before getting married. Halo followed behind them, and I had the pleasure of staring at her excellent ass all the way up the trail.
The tra
il got steeper as we climbed, and Halo slowed some. “What’s the matter little girl? Too hard a workout for you?” I teased her.
“No, I’m just pacing myself. The trail might get steeper, and I don’t want to run out of juice before we reach the top.” She looked over her shoulder and smiled at me.
“Oh, okay. I’ll let that go then.” I caught up with her. The trail width could accommodate two people easily so I moved in beside her. We used to talk about everything. Surely a civil conversation would come naturally between us.
“Hey.” I looked at her.
“Hey, yourself,” she replied.
“I know this is all foreign to you, but how’s the whole tour going for you? We really haven’t done too much talking.”
“It’s going okay. Great, actually. Hayden’s skills are so much better than mine, and he’s teaching me more and more, but he doesn’t seem to mind.”
“No, Hayden’s a great kid. Not too much bothers him even with his full plate. He does love little Crew. I guess I’ve never met someone so unselfish. Crew means everything to him.”
“Yeah, he told me he would give up singing if it meant making Crew happy or there was a need. That says a lot about his character. Most guys his age, hell most girls, wouldn’t put their kid’s happiness before themselves.” She looked at me as though she wondered if I could ever be that guy.
“I know you think I couldn’t do it, right?” Our eyes locked on each other.
“I don’t know if you would or not, Carter. When you set your sights on something that you truly want, you’re all in. If it was for someone else, though, I don’t know.”
I could read her mind on this subject. Was I ever all in when it came to the two of us? Looking back at my teen years, I was definitely a self-centered bastard just like most guys my age. Had I outgrown that at all? I hoped so but thinking about some of the decisions I’d made in the last few years, maybe not. Hell, I might never outgrow it. Is that how I wanted to live my life?
I looked at Chandler and KeeMac as they walked hand in hand in front of me. The sparkling diamond that he gave her in front of our audience a few weeks back represented the depth of the love he had for her. Shit, all you had to do was hang out five minutes with those two and you knew it, ring or no ring.
I thought of Ryan and Peri. Those two loved each other and little Tucker with such a strong unconditional love. Hanging out with their little family along with Hayden and Crew could sway the staunchest of bachelors.
Maybe true love wasn’t something for me. When Halo was mine, I thought she was the love of my life, but I had a lot of growing up to do. I didn’t know if I’d reached that grown-up stage yet. Hell, I didn’t even know if I wanted to reach that stage, and if I did would she ever consider taking me back? Being a colossal dick to her when I left, didn’t help matters. Learning to be friends again might be all I get from her this go around.
She spoke and startled me out of my own head. “What are you thinking so hard about over there?”
“I don’t know. Just thinking about life in general. Being out here in nature like this can do it to me. All this vastness surrounding us puts our small lives into perspective. Don’t you think?”
“Wow, who are you? The Carter I know doesn’t know those deep thoughts.” She smiled.
I knew she was joking, but it still caught me off guard. Is that what she thinks of me? Is that what everyone thinks? Damn, I’m a joke in my friends’ eyes. I never wanted to be that guy. They’d grown up and left me behind. The more I thought of this, the angrier I became. I sped up in my pace and passed the lovers, keeping my stride moving faster with each step.
“Carter, I was only joking. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” Halo yelled after me. She ran trying to catch up but couldn’t keep up with my long legs moving faster and faster. Finally giving up, she stopped, but I didn’t. I settled into a fast pace and made the summit long before they all did.
My legs ached from the quick steep climb but nothing like my fucking mind did. I needed to get my shit together. This wake-up call came with a giant bitch slap to the face. What the fuck was I thinking? A beautiful woman loved me once. Hell, I excelled in being a loveable kind of guy. I needed to set my sights on finding that true love again, but how would I go about making her love me again? I fucked us up so bad the first time, it might be a no go for her. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the things I did before. Damn, that happened a long time ago.
“It’s about time you lazy asses finally got here. A nap while waiting on you three freshened me back up for the climb down.” I sat up from where I’d leaned back against a large boulder.
“Why’d you take off like that? We were supposed to be taking a leisure hike to enjoy the scenery.” KeeMac asked me.
“I felt the need to have a few minutes alone with nature.”
“If all you needed to do was piss, you could have told us, and the girls would have turned their backs,” KeeMac smirked at him.
“Not that kind of nature, asshat. You know communing with nature, like meditation type stuff.”
“Dude, you wouldn’t know how to commune even with a pack of old hippies in the forests of Oregon.”
“That’s a damn lie.” I sat up, climbed on the boulder, and crossed my legs over each other and put my hands palms up. I closed my eyes, touching my thumbs to my middle fingers. “Ommm, Ommm, Ommm.” I peeked out one eye to see if I had their attention. All three of them were standing there on the verge of breaking out in laughter.
I closed my eyes and did the whole routine again. “Ommm, Ommm, Ommm.” On the third one, I fell off the rock with a big push from Chandler.
“What the hell, Chan? My metaphysical side just started getting the vibes,” I said from lying sprawled on the ground.
“I had to do it. I couldn’t allow you to look that stupid in front of Halo an ommm longer.” She smirked at me. “You’re welcome, Carter.”
“Yeah, thanks. I hope you didn’t break my playing hand.” I bent my wrist around.
“Your hand gets more than enough workout so it’s in good enough shape to take a fall,” KeeMac added to the conversation.
“Good one, babe.” Chandler fist bumped him.
“That’s a damn lie and you both know it, but all of this meditation might send my life in a new direction. I’ve decided to give up the rock-star wildlife to walk the straight and narrow. I believe it’s time for me to outgrow all the groupie shit. Don’t y’all?”
The three of them all looked up at me with their mouths hanging open.
“You’re gonna what?” KeeMac asked.
“Yeah, let’s hear this line of bullshit you’re spewing,” Chandler added, but Halo said nothing. She narrowed her eyes at me and stared.
“I’m dead serious about this. The perfect groupie sex machine decided to call it quits.” I sat down on the blanket with the rest of them still staring at me. “It’s about time I made some changes. I need to better myself with intelligent women who have ambitions other than how many rockers they can fuck to use as a claim to fame.”
Damn, I should’ve given this more thought before I launched my plan to get Halo back. I could end up with a huge right arm with no more groupies to entertain me.
“So, what do you plan to do to earn these smart women giving you a second look? Read a book or something?” Chandler started with a low blow to my fragile new plan.
“I read books.” KeeMac looked me in the eye. “Well, I do when I’m off the tour. I have lots of books in my house.”
“Your collection of vintage Hustler and Playboys don’t count dickwad. She’s talking about real books or at least some downloaded on your iPad,” KeeMac laughed when he said it.
“Yeah, you know you can use those for stuff other than porn and playing games. They have apps for it.” Chandler kept shooting me with zingers basically killing my project.
“Y’all just wait and see. I’m telling the three of you the truth. As of today, I’m changing my life. I’m going
to better myself in all areas including the women.” I picked up a sandwich and took a big bite out of it. Maybe this would end their need to undermine my idea with smart-ass comments.
“I think you can do whatever you put your mind to, Carter,” Halo finally spoke up, and I almost choked when it sounded like she might defend me to the other two. “You used to do all sorts of things that were good for your body and mind. I’m not sure reading books could be included but other stuff.”
“Like what, Halo? I’ve known him the least amount of time, but I’ve never seen him do anything that wasn’t self-fulfilling.” Chandler looked at her obviously expecting an answer.
“Well, let me see. He used to know a lot about history. He tutored me all the time when I took AP History in high school. He just knew that shit. I hated the class but wanted the college credit so he tutored me.”
I’d forgotten about that. I still loved to read historical non-fiction and fiction books. I realized it had been forever since I’d opened one, but that didn’t mean I stopped loving history. Wars and battles held my interest for hours. The strategic planning and how it evolved over history amazed me.
“So you’re telling me that this dumbass over here voluntarily picked up books and read them for the knowledge?” The look on KeeMac’s face made me want to laugh hard.
“Yes, and he remembers all kinds of facts that most people skip right over or at least he did in high school. I realize that’s a long time ago, but he did excel at it back then.”
Halo’s memories of our time together surprised me. I hadn’t thought about that in so long. The recent books on my iPad I’d read, even some recently about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, contained great information about the types of battles our soldiers fought. I’d also read several biographies of soldiers.