by Amy Brent
“Will he come back?”
She stroked her son's hair, feeling a bit misty-eyed. “I don't know, sweetie. But maybe he will.”
“I hope so.” James bit his lip, a thoughtful look on his face.
Amanda caressed his cheek. “Me too, sweetie. Me too.”
She let James go off to watch TV while they waited for Cole to arrive. Amanda lingered in her room, her thoughts on the past. She dug through her closet until she found one of her old photo albums. It had been a long time since she took actual photographs, instead of taking digital snapshots with her phone. But she had a collection of pictures from back in high school, many of them taken by Michelle's mother. She used to take pictures all the time, whenever Amanda and Michelle were hanging out, and she had always made duplicates of the picture to give to Amanda.
She flipped through the pages, and she was surprised to see how often Cole was in the pictures. Sitting next to her on the couch while she mooned over him. In the pool at Michelle's house, splashing her playfully. She'd longed for him so much back then. He had always seemed like the perfect guy. Handsome, athletic, fun to be around. It had crushed her when the reality of the situation set in and she realized he wasn't any different from any other guy. Even Michelle's admission that she had told Cole not to call didn't help take away that heartache.
She looked at one of the last pictures in the album. It had been taken the night of her high school prom. She and Michelle were there in their fancy, expensive dresses. Amanda had gone to the prom with Conner Williams. He had been a nerdy boy with braces, and she hadn't really liked him that much. But when he'd asked her to prom, she hadn't had anyone else to go with, so she'd said yes. But she had really wished she could have gone with Cole.
He was there in the picture, standing in the background, looking out of place in jeans and a t-shirt when the prom-goers were all dressed up. She remembered wishing that Conner would cancel. She had imagined being there at Michelle's house, crying because she had been stood up. Then, in her fantasy, Cole would have put on his father's tuxedo and escorted her to the prom. It would have been magical. At least, in her imagination.
But instead of sweeping her off her feet in a romantic gesture, he had fucked her at the graduation party and left her alone the next morning. Romance was never what it seemed to be in real life.
The doorbell rang. Amanda set the photo album aside. She was filled with more doubts now than she had been before. Seeing Cole again had made her feel like she was in high school all over again, but her high school crush had been nothing but a fantasy. And the reality was that Cole was a man with a reputation. A man who would be flying home after the wedding, leaving her and her son alone once again. She wouldn't let herself forget that again.
She picked up James and carried him downstairs. Cole was waiting at the door, looking rather nice in an expensive suit. He flashed a smile at her when she came outside, but she refused to let herself swoon over him.
“Hey,” he said, grinning wide. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” she said, keeping a neutral tone. “Yeah, I'm ready.”
They got into the car and headed to the wedding, and to what Amanda was sure would be the last time she ever saw Cole.
Chapter 12
Cole tried to strike up some conversation with Amanda on the ride over to the church, but she was oddly quiet. He wasn't sure what was wrong, or if he had done something wrong. When he'd left her this morning, they had been in a good place. Or at least he had thought. But now she seemed distant. As if she didn't want to be around him.
He told himself that it was his imagination. They had chemistry. He knew they did. This morning had proven that. Not just because they'd had sex. But because of how they'd spent time together, like a real family. He was sure that connection was there. He just needed to find a way to strengthen it. To make sure that Amanda saw what he saw. That they belonged together.
When they got to the church, he tried to hold her hand, but she had her arms full holding James. He would have asked her to sit with him during the ceremony, but she was a bridesmaid, and her place was up by the altar with Michelle. Blake had brought friends of his to be his groomsmen, so Cole didn't have a part in the ceremony. He ended up sitting in the front row, alongside his parents. And while his mother cried and the rest of the church's eyes were on Michelle, Cole's eyes were on Amanda. She looked beautiful, standing up there. He started to imagine her as the one in a white dress. Standing in front of a priest with him. Making their vows to each other.
He shook those thoughts off. They were foolish, he knew. Even if things started to work out between them, they were a long way off from thinking about marriage. But still, it was easy to imagine it. And it felt good.
The ceremony itself was fairly quick and simple. When it was done, Cole drove Amanda and James over to the rented hall where the reception was being held. There was plenty of food, and an open bar. Cole didn't intend to drink too much, but when Amanda continued ignoring him as the night went on, he found himself drinking more and more. By the time he stopped to think about how many he'd had, he was already quite buzzed. Enough, at least, that he had the guts to press Amanda in order to find out what was wrong.
He scooted his chair next to hers and took her hand. She had been quiet for a while, watching James dance with a group of other young children off to one side of the dance floor. When he took her hand, she looked up at him, a hesitant expression on her face.
“Amanda,” he said, trying to sort out his thoughts through the haze of alcohol. “Did I do something wrong?”
She frowned thoughtfully, studying his face for a long moment. Then she reached out and touched his cheek. “No. No, Cole, you didn't do anything wrong.”
Her words almost consoled him, except that she turned back away from him, her shoulders hunched. “Something must be wrong,” he said. “I'm not stupid. I can tell.”
“Just forget about it.”
“Why?” He shifted his chair so she had to face him. She turned her face away, but he leaned forward and made her look at him. “Amanda, I know I haven't been a part of your life for a long time, but we made a connection this weekend. I know we did.”
“Life isn't all about romance and magic, Cole.” Amanda shook her head, a sad frown on her face.
“Who says it has to be?” he asked. “Why can't it just be about two people making a connection. Feeling something for each other.”
“Are you saying you feel something for me?” She frowned deeper, finally meeting his eyes.
“Yes.”
“How do I know you don't just want sex?”
“Because...” Cole sighed and shook his head. “I don't know. Because I'm telling you I do. Because I want something more.”
“And you really think that would work?” She shook her head. “You live on the other side of the country. You have your career. And I have my son.”
“Our son,” Cole said.
Amanda froze. Her face went pale. She licked her lips. “Cole...I...”
“You don't think I couldn't figure it out?” He leaned back in his chair, looking across the room at James. The little guy was having a great time, dancing up a storm. “I get why you never told me, I do. But it's different now.”
Amanda shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. “No. It's not that simple.”
“Why can't it be?”
“Because it just isn't!”
She got up and stormed out of the room. Cole followed, catching up to her in the lobby. The music was quieter there, muted by the doors, and there was no one else around but the two of them.
“Do you expect me to believe you're really going to change, Cole?” Amanda asked, spreading her arms. “Am I supposed to believe that you'll stop sleeping around? That you'll take responsibility for your son? That you'll be there for him? You won't even be here tomorrow. What does that say about any kind of future we could have?”
“I can make a change,” Cole said. “Transfer to a differe
nt team. Maybe play for Philadelphia. I mean, I've got a contract, but I can find a way out of it.”
“And then what?” Amanda let out a wry laugh, shaking her head. “You want to play house? Pretend like we're a family? This isn't a game, Cole. I deserve better than that. James deserves better.”
“And I want to give it to you. To both of you.”
He stepped forward and placed his hands on her arms, looking into her eyes. “Amanda, I've had a lot of time to think these past few days. A lot of time to look at my life and realize all of the mistakes I've made. I made a lot of dumb choices. But there's been something missing in my life. Something missing for a long time. And I finally know what that is.”
“What?” Amanda asked, looking at him hesitantly.
“You.”
She slowly shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “But how do I know...?”
“You never know,” Cole said. “Not for sure. No one ever does. But I want to try. That's all I'm asking you to do is try.”
He gestured through the glass doors into the main hall. “James deserves a chance at a better life. The kind of life I can help provide for him. With a father, with a real family. I know you've done the best you can, but I've seen how hard it's been. Let me have the chance to make it up to you. To make it up to him.”
“And what if it doesn't work,” Amanda asked, “and James ends up getting hurt in the long run?”
“I promise you that won't happen. Even if things don't work out between you and me, no matter what, I want to do right by James. Provide for him. Help you take care of him. I can afford to make sure he has everything he'll ever need. Clothes, food, the best toys. And a college fund.”
Amanda wiped the tears from her cheeks, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I do want to make sure he gets the chance to go to college. I don't want him to have to struggle the way I did.”
“Then let me help.” Cole took both of her hands in his. “Just let me try. Give me a chance.”
Amanda stepped closer. There was the light of hope in her eyes. “I'm not making any promises,” she said.
“I'm not asking for any.”
He pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers. She held herself stiff for a moment, then she melted into his arms. Her hands slipped around his neck and she leaned close to him, their bodies melding together. The tension melted away, and just for that moment, everything was perfect.
They went back in to join the rest of the party, and Amanda even danced a couple of slow dances with him. They talked a bit about how they were going to handle this new and uncertain relationship. He still had to fly back home for the Monday night game, and there were some training and practice sessions that he wouldn't be able to miss. But they made arrangements for him to fly back out next week, when he'd be able to take a few days off. And the week after that, his team was playing in New York, which would give him the chance to drive down and see Amanda and James while he was on the east coast.
At the end of the night, Cole drove Amanda and James back home. They went upstairs together and Amanda tucked James into the bed. They stepped out into the hall and Amanda shut James's door.
Cole slipped his arms around Amanda's waist.
She stepped away, pulling his hands off of her. “Not tonight.”
“Why not?”
“Because, I want to wait.”
“Wait for what?” Cole frowned in confusion.
“Until next week. Just...please? I want to wait.”
“All right.” Cole held back a sigh of frustration. He supposed she wanted to prove that their relationship was about something more than just sex. He could respect that.
She walked him to the door, where they shared a long and intimate kiss. Then he headed home, filled with sexual frustration, but also with hope for the future. He might be leaving her tonight, but he knew he would be back, and soon, everything would be the way it was supposed to be.
Chapter 13
Over the next few weeks, Amanda almost felt like she was in a real relationship. Cole was only in town a couple of days each week, but even if he couldn't be there for long, he flew out in order to spend time with her and James. Some nights, after they put James to bed, they made love long into the night. James even seemed to get used to the idea of Cole being there in the morning when he woke up.
Cole spoiled James each time he came to visit. He brought clothes, toys, and books. On the third visit, he brought James a bicycle. James was so excited that he made them take him outside right away so he could start learning to ride it. He wobbled a lot, but the training wheels helped him stay upright.
When James's birthday was approaching, Cole asked Amanda, “Can we do something for his birthday? I was thinking of a party at my parents' house.”
They were sitting in the kitchen, talking over a couple of cups of coffee. James was in the other room, reading some of his new storybooks. This was the first time Cole had asked about doing something with his family. And it made Amanda realize they were finally at a serious crossroads.
“You want to introduce him to your parents?” she asked.
“Well, yeah.” Cole shrugged. “I mean, they're his grandparents.”
“Right.” Amanda tapped her fingers against her coffee cup, thinking it over. She knew this was a step they needed to take if this relationship was ever going to work. It would be the big test. If Cole could really introduce James to his grandparents, it would mean he was really taking responsibility for his son. Making him a part of the family.
If they could do that, Amanda realized, it would mean that all of this was finally real. She wouldn't just be the girl Cole was sleeping with. He would be declaring to everyone that he was a father, and that would be the greatest gesture he could make.
“It sounds like a great idea,” she said.
They worked out all of the details, though before the party itself, Amanda insisted that they bring James to meet his grandparents first. Cole made arrangements for them to have lunch at his parents' house, and they drove down together one afternoon. Amanda made sure to dress James up in his best clothes, in order to make a good impression. Cole's parents had briefly met James at the wedding, but this was something different altogether.
Cole's parents greeted them warmly at the door. His mother gave Amanda a big hug, talking about how much she had grown up over the years. Aside from the wedding, Amanda hadn't seen them much since the days when she and Michelle used to hang out in high school.
They sat together in the living room, eating a simple lunch of sandwiches and finger food. They made small talk for a while, while Amanda tried to figure out how to bring up the subject they'd really come there to discuss.
“So,” Cole's mother said, “Michelle tells us that you two have been seeing a lot of each other lately.”
Amanda blushed and looked at Cole, meeting his eyes. She hadn't realized that Michelle had been talking about them to her parents. “Yeah,” Amanda said. “Things have been...going well.”
“I always liked you, Amanda,” Cole's mother said. “You're such a sweet girl. So down to earth. I think that's exactly what Cole needs.”
Amanda's blush deepened. “Well, thank you. I'm glad to hear it.”
Cole's father looked her up and down with a stern gaze. “I hate to be the sour grape in this conversation,” he said, “but I'm afraid I have to point out that I'm not sure it's appropriate for our son to be dating a woman who already has a child.”
“Dad,” Cole said, giving him a stern look.
His father held up a hand. “I'm not trying to make any accusations or anything. But it has to be said.” He looked at Amanda. “Cole makes quite a lot of money, I'm sure you know that. Now, I'm not saying you'd get involved with him just because of that, but I'm sure that it's crossed your mind that getting your hooks in someone like him would mean quite an easy life for you and your son.”
“Getting my 'hooks' in him?” Amanda scowled at him. “Excuse me, but I don't think—”<
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“Amanda,” Cole said, putting his hand on her knee.
She frowned at him, biting back her harsh words. She wanted to yell at his father, to tell him that he had no right to accuse her of something like that. Not after all the years she'd spent raising James alone, with no support from Cole or anyone in his family. But the look on Cole's face kept her quiet. These were his parents. It was his place to tell them.
“Mom,” Cole said. “Dad. There's something I need to tell you.”
“Oh God,” his dad said. His frown deepened.
Cole's mother just sat back on the couch, folding her hands in her lap.
Cole took a deep breath. He looked to Amanda. She smiled at him and put a hand on his knee.
“Amanda and I didn't just get together,” Cole said. “What I mean is, this isn't the first time we were together. Back when we were in school, there was a...well, I mean we...”
Cole's father turned and looked at James.
Amanda cleared her throat. “Cole and I spent a night together,” she said. “Five years ago.”
Cole's mother turned as well, looking at James. James sat off to the side, eating a sandwich and looking through one of his books. He didn't seem to be paying much attention to what the adults were talking about.
“Cole,” his father said. “Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?”
“Well,” Cole said. “Mom, Dad. You're...well, you're his grandparents.”
They looked at James again. He finally looked up from his book when he realized everyone was staring at him. “What?” he asked.
Cole's father scowled. His mother started to beam, covering her mouth with her hands. She got up and crossed the room, kneeling by James's chair and stroking his face. “Oh,” she said. “Oh my. My precious little angel.”
“Cole,” his father said. “Are you sure about this? I mean, we could have a paternity test done...”