‘I heard you moving about in here. Are you going to fetch the van?’ she mumbled sleepily.
The van! I needed it for my deliveries later and it was still parked in the car park at yesterday’s party venue. What was I going to do? I didn’t even have the keys – Liz did. I looked over at my bedside clock; it was six a.m.
‘I hope Liz likes early morning calls,’ said Lucy and she disappeared, presumably headed back to bed.
‘Whoa! Not so fast, lady,’ I called after her. ‘If I’ve got to go and pick up the van, then I’m going to need you to open up for me and cover until Flo gets in.’
‘Does this constitute overtime? Extra pay for unsociable hours?’
I shook my head at her barefaced cheek but I wasn’t that surprised. Lucy was desperate to save up as much money as possible before she left for university in a few months, and she’d been working for me to earn some cash whenever she could. Truth be told, I hadn’t been paying her wages out of the business; there wasn’t enough in the till for that. It had been coming out of my savings and my brother had been chipping a bit in too.
‘You drive a hard bargain. We’ll discuss the specifics later, but right now I need you to get dressed and make a start downstairs for me, please.’
‘All right, all right. How will you ever manage without me once I head off to Bristol?’
That unwelcome thought made me want to cry but I held it together. The thought of her leaving made me feel sick; I didn’t want to face the idea that she would be gone soon and I’d be alone. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to go to university. I wanted her to have the kinds of opportunities I never did, but I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t going to hurt like hell when she finally left.
‘I’m sure I’ll find someone willing to help me out – they might even be cheaper!’ I shouted after her as she walked away.
Lucy stuck her tongue out at me by way of a reply and disappeared into the bathroom. I grabbed the phone in the hallway and dialled Liz’s number; I knew she’d already be awake. Liz was a terrible sleeper. The phone only rang twice before she picked it up.
‘Hello.’
‘Morning, Motor Mouth, it’s me.’
‘Motor Mouth? What’s that for?’
‘Never mind, I’ll tell you later. I need to get my van keys and phone from you. Is it okay to pop round now?’
Liz and her family had recently moved to a rather trendy part of East London, which was only about twenty minutes away from me on the Tube. It still made me laugh, every time I went to her lovely new house with its secure parking and well-manicured gardens, remembering how it had been when I was growing up. It had been a definite no-go area for me and my friends. But the decrepit old flats and run-down terraces had been revitalised in an effort to attract a ‘better class of people’. The drug dens and betting shops had been replaced with studio apartments and chic eateries. Even the old bingo hall had been refurbished and now housed local artists and craftspeople selling their handmade wares. All very lovely but it meant that a whole generation of families had been forced out of the areas they grew up in because they could no longer afford to live there.
‘How are you going to get to the office to pick up the van once you have the keys?’ asked Liz. Bugger, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. That would be another Tube ride. At this rate, I wasn’t going to have enough time to finish the birthday cakes and deliver them. Luckily Liz had a plan.
‘Tell you what, give me about half an hour and I’ll come to you, then I can drive you over there.’
‘You’re an angel, thank you. I’ll see you in a bit, then.’
I hung up and decided to fire up my laptop to check my emails whilst I waited for her. At least that was my intention when I first opened it up. After a cursory glance at messages from suppliers and assorted other junk, I found myself typing Jack’s name into the computer. I hesitated for a second before I clicked on the search button, but only for a second. I couldn’t help it; I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. I felt like a teenager with a crush; it was totally ridiculous. I was a grown woman, I told myself, I didn’t need a man to make me happy and I certainly didn’t need a face from my past forcing its way back into my future.
Don’t turn this into a three-act play, Abby. You saw him for a few minutes and he’s probably forgotten about you already.
When his face appeared on my screen, I couldn’t help smiling. He looked so handsome, much better than he did when we were younger. Money obviously suited him. I found a close-up of his face, some business magazine cover. He was staring down the camera lens, as if he were looking just at me. His hair was short except for the top, which was brushed back off his face, revealing sharp cheekbones and a well-defined jaw. I read a few news articles about him, about his company and what they did. Something very high-tech and obviously pretty lucrative – all to do with computers and apps; it might as well have been written in Mandarin for all I understood of it.
Interestingly, the articles made no mention of his being born in London, or the fact that he went to a normal crappy comprehensive. At some point, it seemed that Jack had decided to completely reinvent himself and remove all traces of the boy he was. But he couldn’t fool me; I could still see him because I knew where to look. He was still there, in that slightly crooked smile, the one that used to make my insides fizz, and in those twinkling brown eyes, the same ones that used to watch me across the classroom. He always had a real knack for that – looking right through all the layers of emotional armour I wore to hide my many fears and insecurities. I tore my gaze away from those eyes and looked at his slightly crooked grin. Bad idea! I couldn’t stop looking at his mouth now and imagining all sorts of things. Stop it, Abby! The sound of someone outside, leaning on their car horn, made me jump.
‘Mum! I think Auntie Liz is here. You’d better get out there before she wakes up half the bloody street!’ shouted Lucy, from the kitchen.
I grabbed my jacket and headed out onto the landing that ran along the front of the flats. I ran down the stairs as quickly as I could, trying to get to Liz before she let out another deafening round of her car horn, but I was too late. She leaned on the horn again, this time for a bit longer, and was treated to the sight of my neighbour hanging out of his window in his vest, shouting something at her in Greek. I jumped into the car just as Liz was about to stick her head out of her window to shout something back.
‘Liz! No! Just drive the bloody car!’
‘What a rude man. Makes me wish I could speak Greek.’
‘It’s barely seven in the morning – you can’t blame him for being a bit pissed off to be woken up like that.’
‘Fine. I’ll let him off just this once.’
I was struck by a sudden image of Liz boning up on her Greek in preparation for the possible next round. I wouldn’t have put it past her.
‘So why were you hurling abuse at me this morning, then?’ For a second I didn’t know what she meant, but then I remembered my ‘motor mouth’ reference from our earlier phone call.
‘Why did you have to tell Lucy about Jack? You know what she’s like about trying to get me involved with someone. She’s become obsessed lately. I really don’t know what’s got into her.’
‘You don’t?’ Liz eyed me, quizzically. ‘You really haven’t worked it out?’
I shook my head.
‘My God, woman, when it comes to reading the signs you are totally shit! She hates the idea of leaving you all alone when she goes in a few weeks!’
‘Really?’
‘Really! Honestly, Abby, you can be so dim at times. Lucy wants to make sure you’ve got someone so you don’t waste all your time missing her. She wants you to have a life – as do I, my darling.’ She gave me a sympathetic smile.
‘I have a life, thank you very much. Running the business keeps me very busy. I don’t need anything else.’
‘Okay, I shall rephrase – you don’t just need a life; you need a sex life.’
Before I could reply,
Liz hurtled on.
‘You haven’t had sex for God knows how long! Not that I know of, anyway, and don’t think you can lie to me about it because you can’t. You are in danger of shrivelling up inside if you don’t start living a life that involves more than just work and Lucy.’
‘I have Mum and Matt too!’ I protested, weakly.
‘Judging by the way he looked at you yesterday, you could quite easily throw the lovely Mr Chance into the mix as well.’ Liz turned and gave me a wink. ‘He seemed very pleased to see you after so long.’ I knew she was waiting for me to say something but I didn’t, so she kept talking.
‘He wanted to know how long you’d been married or if you had kids.’ I turned in my seat to protest but she held up her hand. ‘Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him anything. I pretended that we didn’t know each other that well so I had no information for him. I don’t think he really believed me, but he let it drop anyway.’
I let out the breath I was holding and I shook my head. I wanted to ask about the blonde on his arm, but I didn’t dare. I knew if I showed the slightest interest Liz would be all over me. Instead I moved to safer ground and asked about the party.
‘Did all those desserts get eaten?’
Liz smiled and nodded enthusiastically. ‘Of course, they did! Well, except for the few that I took home. I couldn’t resist – they were delicious.’
I was pleased. It was nice to know I was good at something at least. Liz started talking about how well the event went and about how she’d had lots of interest in her new company, but I wasn’t really listening. The mention of Jack had sent my head spinning again and I couldn’t concentrate; I kept seeing that picture of him in his dinner jacket. Conveniently in my mind he was minus the blonde and I couldn’t stop picturing his eyes; those gorgeous eyes that used to look at me as if I were the only person in the room. Liz snapped her fingers in my face.
‘Hello? Earth to Abby – anybody there?’
I sat up sharply and batted her hand away. ‘God, I’m sorry, I was thinking about those two cakes I have to deliver this afternoon.’
‘Yes, of course you were, my darling. Tell me, in your imaginings did Jack pop naked out of the top of one of them?’ She had a huge grin on her face and I couldn’t help but smile back.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous… that’s not even… I mean, for God’s sake… I don’t even…’
Liz laughed at my stammering excuses.
‘I knew it!’ she cried, slapping her hand down onto the steering wheel. ‘There is something more to this than you let on yesterday. You have to tell me everything, right now.’
‘Liz, it was such a long time ago, I don’t know why it matters.’
‘Because it’s exciting! Humour me, please. I’ve been with the same man for all of my adult life and I need to live vicariously through you now!’
Now it was my turn to laugh; Liz and her husband, David, had been together since they were fifteen, but they still adored each other. She liked to complain that her life was dull and boring, but I knew she wouldn’t have it any other way. Her marriage was something I envied. David would do anything for Liz and for their children; he was the ultimate family man. It didn’t hurt that he was also quite cute, in a Hugh Bonneville/Colin Firth kind of way, and he worshipped Liz.
‘You’re not going to shut up about this, are you?’ I asked.
Liz shook her head. ‘No. Now spill those proverbial beans if you please.’
‘Okay, okay, but there really isn’t that much to tell. We lived in the same street, went to school together, he was my first kiss and then suddenly he was gone. His family just moved away and never came back. I never heard from him again.’ That was it – our potted history.
‘First kiss, eh? That’s heady stuff. You never forget your first kiss, Abby.’
‘Well, I did. No time to dwell on that when you’ve got a baby to take care of on your own.’
‘Did he know Lucy’s father?’
‘Yes, he knew Martin. We were all in the same class at school.’
Liz wisely decided to leave that subject alone. The story of my relationship with Martin was a pretty ugly one; the only good thing to have come out of it was my daughter.
‘What about when your dad… you know… buggered off?’
‘Dad had been gone for a few weeks before Jack and his family left. So yes, he knows about it.’
‘So why is this the first I’m hearing about this man? I know practically everything else there is to know about you, Abby, why not this?’
‘I’d forgotten all about him,’ I lied. ‘A lot of things happened after he went and I just got on with my life.’ I decided not to mention the weeks of waiting for the phone to ring, waiting to hear his voice on the other end telling me that he was coming back for me.
Liz reached over and took my hand. ‘I know you had it tough at the beginning, Abby, but look at where you are now. All that’s behind you. It’s time to get out there and start really living.’
‘I’m all right, Liz, really. I have everything I want. I don’t need complications, especially when they come in the shape of a man.’
‘Just promise me that you’ll give it some thought, okay? Make some room for the possibility at least.’ Liz pulled up at the kerbside outside the party venue and watched me as I unbuckled my seat belt, waiting for some reassurance that I’d heard her.
‘I’ll call you later.’ I leaned across and pecked her on the cheek and then got out of the car. I made my way into the car park, grateful to be out of Liz’s car and off the topic of Jack Bloody Chance.
Chapter 6
Oh, for Christ’s sake! I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. There was a bloody great black Mercedes parked right across in front of my van. How on earth was I supposed to get it out? No doubt some arrogant tosspot from one of the offices upstairs had just left it there. I started conjuring up a picture of a big, sweaty idiot in a badly fitting suit, up in his posh office, bossing around the little people.
Over by the entrance barriers there was a small office with a glass front window; the sign on the door said ‘Security’. A man in a navy uniform was sitting inside, behind a bank of CCTV screens. As I approached he looked up and I gestured to him through the window.
‘My van, over there, blocked in.’ I waved in the general direction of my little green van and he nodded. Reaching across his desk, he picked up a phone and started talking to someone. After a brief conversation, he put the phone down and gave me the thumbs up; I assumed that meant the owner of the car was coming to move it, so I went back to my van to wait.
The poor old girl looked incredibly scruffy, parked in there alongside sleek Mercedes and BMWs. Maybe it was time to bite the bullet and get a new one? I could get a loan, I supposed. I thought about it for a split second then came to another conclusion. I didn’t need a new van; what I needed was to just get the hell out of that car park full of overpriced penis replacements and get back to my life! Where was this inconsiderate idiot anyhow? I was rummaging around for my keys in the bag Liz had given me, when I heard footsteps coming across the car park. I was about to look up, ready to blast the inconsiderate git with a few well-chosen words, when I dropped my bag on the floor and my phone skittered across the ground to the man’s feet. He bent to pick it up at the same time as I did and we bashed heads on the way down.
‘Ow!’ I cried out, putting my hand up to the crown of my head.
‘Oh, God, Abigail, I’m so sorry! Are you all right?’ It was Jack – of course it would have to be him, I thought, because the universe likes to mess with me. He placed his hand on mine and suddenly my brain was melting from the warmth of his touch. I pulled out of his reach.
‘I’m fine, honestly. It’s nothing.’
‘Let me see. That was quite a crack.’ Stepping towards me, he tilted my head down so he could get a better look and my face was suddenly buried in his chest. I fought the sudden urge to smell him and instead put both hands on his chest to push him away.<
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‘No permanent damage done that I can see. Do you need to sit down though?’ he asked. His hands were now holding the tops of my arms and I was blocked in, unable to get out of his reach.
‘What I need is for the idiot who owns this bloody car to get down here and get out of my way so I can leave! What kind of brainless git parks his car right across a parking space?’ As soon as the words flew out of my mouth I knew the answer; that crooked smile appeared and I was looking at the Jack I remembered.
‘It’s your car, isn’t it?’
He nodded. ‘I’m afraid it is. And that’s Mr Brainless Git, if you don’t mind.’
I managed a smile and held out my hand. ‘Nice to meet you, Mr Brainless, I’m Mrs Foot in Mouth.’ He shook my outstretched hand and then gave me my phone, the screen of which was now sporting a very fetching crack right down the middle.
‘Looks like you’re gonna need a new cell phone.’
‘Did you just say cell phone?’
He looked a little embarrassed. ‘Sorry. Too many years in the States, forgot where I was for a minute. You’re gonna need a new mobile.’
‘Much better.’
‘We aim to please, Mrs Cowan.’
Would now be a good time to correct his assumption that I’m married? I wondered. Yes, screamed my libido. No, bellowed my common sense. Leave it alone, if he thinks you’re married then he won’t bother you. Was that what I wanted? Yes, I told myself, I didn’t need him. In order to confirm this, I reached into my bag and pulled out my purse.
‘I think I owe you some money for that cab yesterday, if you’ll just tell me how much?’
He put a hand out to stop me.
‘Please, don’t worry, it’s fine. You don’t owe me anything, really.’
Was he being patronising? I couldn’t tell. Maybe I was letting that working-class chip on my shoulder get the better of me again, but I didn’t like owing people. I especially didn’t want to owe him anything. I managed to pull a ten-pound note out of my purse and thrust it into his grasp. He grabbed my hand and shoved the note straight back again.
Secrets and Tea at Rosie Lee's Page 5