‘You didn’t answer my question,’ said Matt.
‘What question?’
‘Is anyone else coming tonight? Apart from the usual suspects.’
‘No. Just you, Flo, Liz and David. Why?’
‘All the posh patisserie and the fridge groaning with food and booze. Thought you might have invited someone else.’ He gave me a knowing look.
‘I haven’t invited anyone else. It’s just us. That’s all I need.’
‘You sure?’
I let out an exasperated sigh. ‘Look, brother dear, I know what you’re getting at. I haven’t spoken to Jack and I don’t expect I ever will again. But it’s all good. I’m fine.’ I was saved from having to say any more by a knock at the front door. ‘Now go and answer that and stop bloody annoying me.’ I turned back to the counter and busied myself with the salad. Soon the flat was filled with the familiar sound of Flo and Liz, bickering.
‘I never said you looked cheap. I just remarked on how bright yer lippy was. You know, for a woman your age, Elizabeth.’
‘It’s Dior, my love. Not some cheap tat off the market,’ replied Liz. She appeared in the kitchen doorway first, rolling her eyes at me in dismay. ‘Where can I put these, darling? Any room in the fridge?’ She brandished two bottles of very expensive champagne at me. ‘I need to be very drunk, very soon, if I’m going to be able to cope with an evening in Florence’s delectable company.’
‘You and me both, love,’ said Flo, following her in. ‘You all right, Abby? Anything I can do?’ She came over and kissed my cheek.
‘No, I think everything’s under control. The lasagne will be done in about half an hour or so. We’ve got time for a toast. Go into the other room, Flo. I’ll bring these glasses in.’ I picked up a tray already laden with champagne flutes.
‘Fair enough. But give us a holler if you need anything. Always happy to help, you know me.’ She gave Liz a pointed stare and then left the room. Liz mimed strangling her as she walked away and then went back to trying to ram bottles of booze into my fridge. That croquembouche was going to end up on the floor any minute, I just knew it.
‘Please, play nice, Liz, just for tonight? For me?’
She stopped reorganising my fridge for a minute and turned to me. ‘I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise anything if she starts. The cheeky cow all but told me I was too old to be wearing red lipstick! I’m not too old, am I, darling?’
‘Of course, you’re not. We’re both in the prime of our lives – the world is our lobster. I’ve resolved to grab life by the balls and run with it. And bugger what anyone else thinks.’ My little speech took even me by surprise but it was true; it was time to make a change.
‘Okay, then. Let’s get in there and toast the guest of honour. What are we waiting for?’
Liz grabbed a bottle of champagne and I followed her into the living room.
Lucy and Matt were sitting together on the sofa and David, Liz’s husband, had just whispered something into Flo’s ear that was making her giggle like a schoolgirl. She slapped him playfully on the arm.
‘Oh, David, you’re a very naughty man,’ she said. I was amazed – I think Flo might even have been blushing a bit.
‘That bloody woman,’ said Liz. ‘She can barely tolerate me, but she’ll quite happily flirt with my husband. And he’s even posher than I am!’
‘I think David reminds her of a character from one of those smutty books she’s always reading. Perhaps she fancies herself as the innocent scullery maid to his lust-filled lord of the manor?’
Liz shuddered at that idea. ‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’
‘No. What makes you say that?’ I replied, failing to stifle a giggle.
‘You’re being very childish, Abby,’ Liz huffed at me, striding over to break up Flo and David’s burgeoning romance.
As I stood at the doorway, looking around the room at all my family, whether they were blood or not, I was so grateful to have them all in my life, but I found myself wishing that Mum were there. She’d probably have pissed me off within five minutes of arriving, with some comment about my cooking or housekeeping, but at least she’d have been with us. I missed her and that surprised me. We’d barely spoken and we’d seen each other even less, but I’d taken it for granted that she would somehow just always be there; that whatever was wrong with us, I would have the time to fix it. Now she was gone and I couldn’t fix a fucking thing. I’d never get the chance to tell her how sorry I was.
And then of course there was Jack, with his gorgeous eyes and declarations of undying affection. I’d let him into my life, against my better judgement, and look what had happened there. I’m such a stupid fool, I chastised myself. I could feel tears stinging my eyes, and I started chewing the inside of my cheek to try and stop them.
‘Are you all right Mum?’ Lucy appeared at my side, looking concerned.
Pull yourself together, Abigail, tonight’s about her, don’t spoil it. You can wallow in the stinking pile of crap that is your life another time.
I smiled at her. ‘I’m good, love, just waiting for someone to open the champagne.’
‘That’s my cue!’ said David, taking the bottle from Liz and tearing off the foil. He popped the cork and I managed to thrust a glass under the neck of the bottle before the foam hit the carpet.
When everyone had a drink, Matt raised his glass. ‘A toast, then. To my beautiful, if a bit high maintenance, niece. Knock ʼem dead, Princess.’ Short and sweet. He took a sip from his glass and I saw him discreetly wipe away a tear. The big softie was going to miss her almost as much as I was.
After the toasting, and a bit more bickering from Liz and Flo about who should sit where around my makeshift dining table – Flo insisted on sitting next to David and Liz wasn’t happy – everyone took their seats. It was a bit of a squeeze but we managed. I brought in the lasagne, accompanied by much clapping and cheering from Lucy, and then everyone dug in. Even the croquembouche dessert managed to make it to the table in one piece. The conversation was flowing, as was the wine, and before long we were five bottles in and feeling very jolly. Flo and Liz appeared to have called a temporary truce and David and Matt were talking football versus rugby.
Lucy picked up her knife and gently tapped her glass, getting everyone’s attention. She cleared her throat and then stood up.
‘I want to make a toast.’
Everyone duly picked up their glasses and waited.
‘To my mum.’
Oh, bugger – I could feel the tears pricking my eyes already and she’d only said three words.
‘Mum, you are truly the best mother in the world. You are my hero and my inspiration. You’ve always been there for me. I’ve never once felt alone. I’ve always known that, no matter what happened, or what you had to do, I would be loved and looked after. You’re amazing and I love you so much. To Mum!’ she declared.
‘To Abby!’
I tried to thank her, but I couldn’t speak; I was crying so much. In the end I gave up and just pulled Lucy in for the tightest hug I think I’d ever given her and mumbled, ‘I love you too,’ as best I could into her ear. By the time I let her go everyone at the table was crying unashamedly.
‘Fuck me, this is depressing,’ said Matt eventually, picking up his napkin and wiping his eyes. ‘I need another beer. Anyone want anything?’
‘I’ll have another glass of wine, if you’re asking,’ replied Flo. Matt gave me a questioning look and I shrugged.
‘More wine coming up.’
I took the opportunity to collect some dirty plates and followed Matt out to the kitchen. He was bending down, looking into the fridge, and I heard him sniffling. I didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to embarrass him. After a few seconds of ‘pretend’ searching for the wine – the bottle was right there in front of him – he wiped his eyes with the cuff of his shirt and stood up. I carried on putting plates into the dishwasher.
‘Shut up,’ he said.
‘I never said a
word, you old softie.’
He shrugged, and I could tell he was on the verge of crying again. I realised that I hadn’t given a thought to how Lucy’s departure might affect Matt as much as me. He’d been like another parent rather than an uncle. He’d lived with us, watched her grow up and taught her as much as I had.
‘I didn’t think it would get to me so much,’ he said. ‘A couple of times this week I’ve had to lock myself in my office at the gym just to make sure the lads wouldn’t see me crying. It’s bloody pathetic.’ He sniffed again. I pulled a bit of kitchen paper off the roll on the counter and handed it to him.
‘You know, I couldn’t have managed any of this without you. As much as Lucy says I made her feel safe and loved, that was only because I had you here to do the same for me. No matter how shitty my situation, and there were plenty of shitty times, I never felt afraid or alone because you were right there with me. I knew you’d never let anything bad happen to me or Lucy.’ By the time I’d finished talking, both Matt and I were crying again. I went over and put my arms around him. ‘You’re going to make a great dad one day. All we need to do is find a woman dumb enough to put up with you.’
‘Oi! Cheeky bitch,’ he said as he pulled out of my arms. ‘How do you know I haven’t already found someone?’
‘Karen?’ I asked, innocently. Inside I was screaming, Not Karen! Anyone but her!
‘No, not Karen. I finished things with her just after Mum died. I couldn’t listen to that bloody voice anymore.’
‘And she was too young for you.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
‘Who’s the new girl? Do I know her?’
‘Nah. She’s not from around here.’
‘When do I get to meet her, then?’
‘Soon, maybe. We’ll see how it goes.’ My brother smiled; this girl, whoever she was, was obviously special.
‘I’m happy for you – you deserve someone nice. Just don’t fuck it up. That’s the best advice I can give you.’ I pecked him on the cheek, took the wine bottle, and then went back into the other room. I poured Flo and Liz another glass, before returning to my seat. I was content to just sit back and listen to everyone getting along, until my good mood was shattered by Flo.
‘Where’s that handsome Yank friend of yours tonight, then, Abby? Couldn’t he make it?’
I saw Liz flick a warning glance at Flo, but she didn’t catch it.
‘I didn’t invite him, Flo. We… we’re not really friends anymore.’
Flo picked up her glass and gestured at me with it, slopping wine onto the tablecloth.
‘That’s a shame – he was lovely. Wasn’t he, Lucy?’
‘Yes, he was. But it’s Mum’s choice. She doesn’t have to be friends with anyone she doesn’t want to. Isn’t that right, Liz?’
‘What? Yes… I mean… no. Definitely. Much easier that way.’
‘What happened, then? I thought you two were really getting along. That afternoon you came up to the flat for a coffee.’ She snorted out a laugh. ‘As if I didn’t know what the two of you was really up to. I’m old, not blind.’ She chuckled to herself and then drained her glass.
‘Now, now, old girl. Let me take that before you drop it.’ David gently took Flo’s glass from her and placed it out of reach.
‘You’re so lovely.’ Flo patted David’s cheek. ‘Such a handsome face.’ She hiccupped and then burped and for one awful minute I thought she might throw up.
‘Is it time to get Flo home, Mum?’
‘Probably.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Matt. ‘I’ll take her. Come on, Florence, it’s time to make a move.’
Matt helped Flo out of her chair and Lucy went to fetch her coat.
‘Ooh, where we off to, then, Matt? You taking me somewhere nice?’
Matt shook his head and laughed. ‘Yeah, I’m taking you dancing at the club. You ready, girl?’
Flo giggled as she tried to button up her coat. ‘Come on, then, young man. Lead the way. Night night, all.’ She leaned down and planted a lingering kiss on David’s lips before wandering off down the hall.
‘I’ll be back before you leave tomorrow, Lucy. G’night, all,’ said Matt.
By the time we heard the door close, Lucy and I were laughing uncontrollably at David and Liz’s shocked expressions.
‘I didn’t realise she’d drunk so much,’ said David. ‘Where did she put it all? There’s nothing of her!’
‘That’s our Florence.’ I laughed. ‘She sits there quietly sipping her wine, until she reaches the point of no return.’
‘You’re lucky she kept all her clothes on, Uncle David,’ said Lucy.
David spluttered out the mouthful of wine he’d just swallowed, and we collapsed into more laughter.
‘She’s joking, David, you were never in any danger. I thought she was going to keel over completely when Matt got her out of the chair, though,’ I said.
‘She probably wanted you to catch her in your arms, my darling,’ said Liz, patting David’s cheek.
‘What can I say, my love? I’m irresistible to women of all ages. It’s a curse I have to live with.’ He leaned over and kissed her and she smiled.
‘Well, hopefully Abby will be able to control herself in your presence whilst you help her with the rest of these dirty plates.’ She handed him a stack of crockery as I picked up some empty glasses.
‘I’ll do my best, David. I don’t know how good that is.’ I gave him a wink as he followed me into the kitchen.
‘That was a lovely dinner, Abby, as always.’ He stacked the plates he was holding by the sink and then turned to look at me. ‘How are you doing? With everything, I mean?’
‘I’m fine, David, really. I’ll miss Lucy when she goes, but I’ll be all right.’
‘No, I meant with everything else. Must be hard for you to hear about it and all that?’ He stopped midway when he saw my confused face.
‘Oh, bugger… I think I’ve just put my foot in it, haven’t I? Sod it. Liz is going to kill me.’
‘What are you talking about, David? Hear about what?’
David shrank back against the counter, looking as if he wanted to climb inside the dishwasher and hide. He couldn’t seem to make eye contact with me, so I knew something was up, but before I got a chance to question him further, Liz appeared at the doorway clutching an empty bottle of wine.
‘I’ve come in search of more booze. Please tell me there’s more in here somewhere.’ She bustled in, apparently oblivious to her husband’s discomfort.
‘In the fridge,’ I said, flatly.
‘Fabulous.’ She opened the door and retrieved the last bottle of white. ‘Corkscrew?’
I went to the drawer by the sink and fetched it for her.
‘I’ll just leave you girls to it, then, shall I?’ mumbled David as he scurried out of the room.
‘Disappearing when there’s washing-up to be done, my love? Sounds about right.’ Liz chuckled. She turned back to me. ‘Are you okay? You look very pale.’ She placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘It’s all going to be fine. I’m here, so is Matt, you won’t be on your own. Even Florence will be of some help, I’m sure.’
I nodded and turned away, plunging my hands into the hot washing-up water in the sink. ‘David thinks he’s put his foot in it,’ I said, casually, as I swirled the sponge around the plate and covered it with bubbles. Rinsing it under the hot tap, I placed it in the drainer before I started on the next one. Liz had opened the wine and was heading to the door when she turned to answer.
‘Put his foot in it? How do you mean?’
‘He thinks he’s told me something he shouldn’t.’ I saw a fleeting nervous look pass across her face.
‘It’s nothing, my love, we can talk about it tomorrow. Let’s just concentrate on having a nice evening. Look, stop that, the washing-up can wait. I have wine.’ She raised the bottle, gesturing for me to come back into the other room. ‘It’s nothing that can’t wait, I promise.’
‘If it’
s so insignificant, then why don’t you just tell me?’
‘Because tonight is supposed to be about Lucy and about you, no one else.’ She put the wine back on the kitchen table, grabbed a tea towel and handed it to me.
‘Here, dry your hands and come back into the other room. Come and have some fun.’
‘Liz, you’re worrying me a bit. Please just tell me what David was talking about.’
‘I’m going to kill that bloody man! I told him I was going to tell you but just not tonight. Stupid old git goes and opens his massive trap. I’ve a good mind—’
‘Liz, please. What is it?’
‘I saw something on the Internet, that’s all. You know how I love to look things up on Google.’
I sighed. ‘Not more crap about Jack and his shady business past? I told you that none of that could be true. Besides, Egan’s gone – Matt told me so tonight. No Egan, no money and that’s the end of it. I can’t believe you’re still—’
‘It wasn’t about his business. This was personal. It was on one of those celebrity gossip sites.’
I went to speak but she stopped me.
‘And that’s all it is at this point. It’s gossip.’
‘About what?’ I didn’t really have to ask – the only person I knew who was interesting enough to appear on a celebrity gossip site was Jack.
‘Jack and Lexie Morgan – according to the website, they’re engaged.’
Liz was watching me closely, waiting for me to collapse on the floor in an emotional heap, no doubt. But that wasn’t what happened. Did it hurt me to think of them together? Yes. Was I sad that we hadn’t been able to find a way for us to make it work? Of course. But despite all that, I was surviving, still able to contemplate some sort of a future for myself beyond me and Jack and what might have been. I took a deep breath and smiled; Liz looked confused for a second, and then relieved.
‘Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to lose it for a minute. I need a bloody drink.’
‘Me too.’
She grabbed the wine off the table. ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’
‘You know what, I think I am.’
‘I fucking love you, Abby Cowan.’
‘Right back atcha, babe.’ I gave her a reassuring squeeze and we walked, arm in arm, back into the living room.
Secrets and Tea at Rosie Lee's Page 29