‘By making me feel worthless? Like something that could so easily be tossed aside. I trusted you, but you didn’t return the favour. You didn’t trust me, trust us, enough to tell me the truth. Instead of having some faith in what we were starting to build, you chose to decide what was best and you walked away. I don’t know if I can forgive you for that, or if we could ever get past it. What happens the next time things get difficult? Will you just run away again? I can’t take that risk.’
‘You’re wrong. I love you, Abby. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t think. Leaving you broke me. I wouldn’t let anything come between us again. You are everything to me.’ He moved closer.
‘Stop, Jack, please.’
His hand snaked around my waist, pulling me in to his body. ‘I can’t just move on with my life and forget about what’s between us. Don’t ask me to do that.’ He leaned down and pressed his lips to my neck and I felt the heat travel all the way down my body. There was no denying the fact that I still wanted him, I wanted him so badly, but he wasn’t mine to have. I pushed myself out of his reach.
‘There is no chance of a future for us – too much has happened. And I know, somewhere deep down inside, you agree with me. Otherwise you wouldn’t be getting married to someone else.’
‘This is about Lexie?’
‘No,’ I shouted, ‘this is about me. I’m choosing me.’ I walked over to the back door and held it open for him. ‘I want you to go now, Jack. There’s no point in going over and over the same old crap. We’d just end up right back where we are now.’ I wanted him to go, before the tears came, before I lost my resolve. This was the right thing to do; I wasn’t prepared to risk my heart again.
‘Abigail, please don’t do this. You have to listen to me.’
‘I don’t have to do anything!’ I yelled. ‘Please just go.’
He stood there, not moving, for what seemed like forever, until he finally walked over to the door. As he stepped past me he turned. ‘I know you’re not ready to listen to me now, so I’ll go. But you need to know one thing. I am not engaged to Lexie. I don’t know where that idea came from but it’s not true. That’s why I flew all the way here, to tell you that I’m not marrying anyone, unless it’s you. I love you, Abigail. I always have and I always will. This thing between us isn’t over, not by a long way.’ He leaned closer and kissed me gently on the lips and then he was gone. I slammed the door shut and then leant against it. My legs were shaking so hard I didn’t think I’d make it up the stairs, so I just stood there.
Chapter 29
It took me a while to regain some control over my shaking body. I stood, propped against the door, just absorbing what Jack had told me. He wasn’t engaged to Lexie; he wanted to marry me. It had taken everything I had not to fling open the door and chase him down the street. But it didn’t matter whether he was engaged or not, I told myself, there was too much in our shared past that was always going to get in our way. We would never be able to get over all that. Would we? No. Yes. Maybe. Bloody hell!
I didn’t have the energy to think about it anymore. I was done. I shoved myself away from the door, ready to go upstairs to my flat, but I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard the knock on the door. Jack – had he come back? My good sense did the quickest about-turn ever – of course I wanted to be with him; why was I even questioning it? I flung the door open, ready to throw myself into his arms; that excitement died in my chest when I saw who was standing on my doorstep.
‘Well, well, little Abby. You look disappointed to see me.’ It was Egan. ‘Can I come in?’
He didn’t wait for an answer, just shoved past me and into the café’s kitchen. The hairs on the back of my neck started to prickle; this wasn’t good.
‘What do you want?’
‘I think you know what I want, Abby.’
‘I don’t have your money,’ I said. ‘Look around you. Does it look like I’ve got a secret stash of cash?’ I would have laughed if I weren’t so scared.
Egan looked me up and down. ‘Shall I assume you were expecting someone else when I knocked? Perhaps your new rich boyfriend. Or maybe that lovely daughter of yours? Lucy, isn’t it? She’ll be in Bristol by now, won’t she? Settling into her new student flat.’ His mention of my daughter made my heart stop; how did he know where she was?
‘Leave her out of this, Egan. If you go near my daughter, I swear I will kill you.’ My fear turned to fury. Egan just smirked and came closer. I could smell alcohol on his breath and up close his eyes were glassy and unfocussed; he was drunk.
‘Now, now, Abby, that’s not nice. I came here in good faith, to give you a chance to return what’s mine, and this is how you talk to me.’ He grabbed my chin, roughly turning my face towards his.
‘Your dumb fuck of a brother wasn’t any use, so I thought I’d get you to help me persuade him to be a bit more forthcoming.’ He held my face so tightly I couldn’t look away and his stinking breath made me want to retch. ‘Where’s the fucking money?’ he hissed, spit flying into my face.
‘I don’t know anything about any money, I’ve already told you.’ It felt as if he was about to crack my jaw, his grip was so tight. ‘Please, just let me go.’
He shoved me backwards against the wall and he turned away from me. I decided I had to take my chance and try to get away. I wrenched open the back door into the yard but my path was blocked by a giant arm: one of Egan’s men.
‘Running away from me? When all I wanted to do was talk? I can’t have that, can I? Stupid bitch.’ He hissed these last words in my ear and then yanked me around to face him. The last thing I felt was Egan’s sovereign ring making agonising contact with my eye socket and then the world disappeared.
*
My head was pounding and I could taste blood in my mouth. The pain was sharp and intense and I reached up to touch the side of my face. When my hand came away it was covered in blood. I tried to focus on where I was. What was I sitting on? I could only see out of one eye, the other one was swollen shut, but I knew I was still in my café. Relief flooded through me; I was still alive and I was still at home, at least for now.
‘Wakey, wakey, Abby. Rise and shine.’
Egan’s face appeared in front of mine and any relief I felt instantly left me; I was still in danger and I had to do something about it. Think, Abby, don’t just sit here, think. I had the upper hand; he needed me if he was going to get what he wanted from my brother.
‘Is there something funny, Abby?’ he asked.
Was I smiling? I couldn’t tell; I couldn’t feel my face. I didn’t think I’d even be able to get my mouth to make words come out; it felt like a weird out-of-body experience. Egan grabbed me roughly by the arm and shoved me back so my head cracked on the countertop behind me. My whole body screamed with pain.
‘It really didn’t have to be like this, Abby. All I wanted was what was mine. But you and your brother, so stubborn. Just like your father. He wouldn’t do as he was told either. Not until I got a bit more – shall we say? – forceful in my efforts to persuade him.’ Egan smiled at the memory and then chuckled to himself. ‘He came round in the end though. Just a shame he couldn’t seem to get control of his conscience. Spilling his guts to that bloody mate of his.’ Egan shook his head.
‘Dad was a good man,’ I mumbled. ‘How did you manage to get him to work for you?’
‘Your dad was a good man, you’re right, and he loved his family. Even that mental bitch of a mother of yours. Mind you, I can’t blame him, she was fucking gorgeous.’ Egan licked his lips suggestively and I wanted to gag. ‘Always fighting, the pair of ʼem. Made it very easy for someone to slip in and offer her some comfort.’ He waited for a reaction from me and seemed a bit disappointed not to get one. This wasn’t news; I knew that she’d slept with him. I also knew she’d regretted it every day for the rest of her life. Egan carried on.
‘I found her outside the pub one night, sobbing her little heart out, she was. She’d just found your dad propped up a
gainst the bar again – he’d spent all his money on booze and fags and she needed a shoulder to cry on. I did the gentlemanly thing. I took her back to my place, gave her a few drinks to calm her down. But I knew what she really wanted, she didn’t have to say it. Sometimes a woman just needs a little push, if you get my drift?’
I could tell Egan was enjoying reliving this memory; it was written all over his disgusting face. I let him carry on. I knew that the longer I let him talk, the more time it would give me to try and figure a way out of this.
Egan’s expression darkened. ‘She tried to say that I’d forced myself on her, silly cow. But I knew she wanted it as much as I did. It was written all over her face.’
I wanted to cry. Oh, God. Matt! What if Egan tells him? I thought. The truth would destroy him.
‘Terry Egan didn’t need to force himself on anyone,’ he said proudly. ‘I had girls falling at my feet. She was gagging for it.’ He shrugged off his coat and turned to hang it on the door leading into the café. I saw the gun tucked into the back of his waistband and it hit me: he was going to kill me. No matter what I told him, he was never going to let me walk out of here. I had to keep him talking.
‘You never answered the question. How did you make my dad do your dirty work?’
He smiled lazily. ‘It wasn’t hard. Like I said, the man loved his family. All I did was explain to him the consequences for all of you if he refused to help me out with a little job.’
‘You threatened us?’
‘Oh, that’s such an ugly word, Abby. I just gave him a few options and he picked the right one, eventually.’
‘You bastard.’
He shrugged. ‘I certainly am. Now, with that in mind, are you going to tell me what I need to know or am I going to have to persuade you some more?’ He pulled the gun out of his waistband and placed it on the counter beside him. ‘Shall we call your brother?’
I had to keep Matt well away from this man. ‘We don’t need my brother. Like you said, he’s just a dumb fuck – he doesn’t know anything.’
Egan’s smile grew wider. ‘Well, well, look who’s all grown up and in charge now.’
‘That’s right, I am. Do you want to make a deal or not?’ I was winging it, hoping for inspiration, and then it hit me; I had a plan.
‘I’m listening. What sort of deal did you have in mind?’
I swallowed down my gag reflex and forced a smile. ‘It’s not the kind of deal that needs an audience.’ I threw a glance over to the goon in the corner. ‘I think we could come up with something that suits us both if we had a little privacy.’
Egan laughed. ‘Like mother, like daughter, eh? I suppose we could help each other out. Shame your face is a bit messed up but then, like I always say, you don’t look at the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire.’ He looked so pleased with himself at that little joke that I wanted to brain him, but I managed to smile through my gritted teeth.
‘Fuck off, then, for a minute, Dave. Abby and I have some business to discuss.’ The meathead across the room looked up and nodded, before leaving. Egan made his way across the room towards me, but I stood up before he could get to me.
‘You’re not going back on your word, are you, Abby?’
‘Of course not, but I thought you’d want to see the money first.’ I walked towards the door that led into the café. Egan picked up his gun and waved me on in front of him.
‘Lead the way.’
I stepped over to the coffee machine; I knew I would only have one chance at this.
‘I just need to get the keys to the safe. I keep them under the counter.’ I bent over and slid my hands along the shelf, until my fingers landed on their prize. Egan stepped closer, trying to see what I was doing, and I took my chance. I swung the spanner up and into his face, knocking him back against the wall. He dropped the gun and clutched his face with his hands. ‘You fucking bitch!’
I lifted the spanner and hit him again, this time catching him on the forearm as he tried to shield himself. Leaping over the counter, I ran towards the front door of the café, wrestling my keys from my pocket. Egan was lying on the floor, groaning and swearing in pain. My fingers shook as I tried to make the keys fit the lock. Egan had managed to stagger to his feet, but he was blinded by the blood on his face. I slid open the bolts on the door and ripped it open just as Egan began crashing across the café towards me. Run, Abby, run!
‘Abby!’ I heard my brother’s voice before I saw him; he was running down the street towards me.
‘Matt, no! Stay there, he’s coming!’ I couldn’t let Matt near the café; it wasn’t safe. He charged towards me and I fell into his arms, trying to stop him from going inside.
‘Where is he?’ he screamed. ‘I’m gonna fucking kill him!’ He charged past me and I heard glass breaking. When I looked back, my brother and Egan were on the floor, struggling.
‘Matt, stop! He’s got a gun!’ I stumbled across the floor towards them and then I heard the gun go off. Oh, God, please, not my brother. I can’t lose him too. ‘Matt!’
I went to him and flung my arms around him; Egan was lying at his feet.
‘It’s all right, Abs, I’m all right.’
He’s fine, he’s safe. Everything’s going to be all right.
He held me at arm’s length; his face was pale. ‘Abby?’
I didn’t know what was happening; the floor seemed to be moving up towards me. My legs felt weird, tingly, as if I had a bad case of pins and needles. And I was freezing. What was happening to me? I felt a burning pain in my side and then my vision shrank to a pinpoint. From somewhere far away I thought I heard Jack calling my name.
‘Jesus Christ! Abigail! Abby, stay with me! Please, Abby, don’t leave me.’
Chapter 30
My eyes felt as if they’d been glued together. As I reached up to rub them I felt something sticking out of the back of my hand. After a bit of squinting and blinking, I managed to open them slightly. My left eye felt swollen and then I remembered – Egan. I tried to sit up but everything hurt, as if I’d been kicked down a flight of stairs – twice. There was a needle sticking out of my left hand – that was what I’d felt when I’d tried to rub my eyes – and there was a tube running from it to a bag of clear fluid that was hanging up beside me. The sunlight streaming in through the window made everything look so clean and bright. Hospital – I was alive and in hospital.
I raised my head slightly and saw my brother asleep in a chair in the corner. He had his elbow propped on the arm of the chair and his head was resting awkwardly in his hand. Relief flooded through me at the sight of him; Egan hadn’t shot him. But I was sure I’d heard a gun go off. Matt adjusted his position in the chair and as he did his head slipped out of his hand, waking him up. I watched him try to find another comfortable position without much success. He looked exhausted. His eyes were ringed with red, as if he’d been crying, and he hadn’t shaved. He scrubbed at his face with his hands and looked over to the bed.
‘You look like shit,’ I muttered. I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me – my voice came out as barely a whisper – and then I saw him smile. He jumped out of the chair and came over to the bed.
‘I thought you were a goner, Abs. I thought he’d killed you. I was so scared.’
‘I’m still here.’ I tried to manage a smile, but my face hurt and my mouth felt like a sandpit. ‘I need a drink.’
‘Bit early for that, don’t you think?’
‘Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.’
He picked up a cup of water and carefully put it to my lips. I sipped it gingerly and then lay back on the pillows. He leant down and gave me a gentle peck on the cheek.
‘That’s a serious black eye you’ve got there. And I should know – I’ve seen enough of ʼem at the gym.’ He grimaced.
‘Can I have a mirror?’
‘Um… well…’
‘What?’
‘The doc said it’ll heal but you might get a bit of a shock when you see yourself. It’
s not permanent – you’re going to be fine.’
‘I want to see.’
He took out his phone and set the camera so the lens was facing me. My bruised and bloodied face stared back at me from the little HD screen; I looked like a monster.
‘I look like the bloody elephant man!’
‘Don’t cry. You’re going to be fine, I promise.’ He put his arm around my shoulders and did his best to hold me close to him, but it was tough with all the tubes and wires. After a few minutes, I managed to gather myself. I was alive; that was all that mattered.
‘What happened? The last thing I remember is you outside the café and then you went in after Egan. I heard the gun go off. I thought he’d shot you.’
‘You were the one who got shot, Abs, not me. I was struggling to get the gun and it went off… I thought you were dead.’
‘It’s not your fault. You saved me. If you hadn’t been there, outside the café, he would have killed me for sure.’
Matt nodded but I could tell the guilt was weighing heavily on him.
‘Why did you come to the café?’ I asked, hoping to distract him.
‘For a career criminal, Egan’s pretty fucking stupid,’ he said. ‘He’d been down the pub, drinking whisky and bragging about how he was going to pay you a visit. Scotch Jimmy overheard him and he called me when Egan left the bar.’
‘Good old Scotch Jimmy. I think I owe him a very expensive bottle of something. He probably saved my life.’
‘I dunno. You looked like you did a pretty good job on your own. You made a right mess of Egan’s face. What did you hit him with?’
‘A spanner I keep under the counter for fixing the coffee machine.’
Matt let out a whistle. ‘Remind me never to ask you to fix anything of mine.’ He smiled weakly. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if he’d… well… you know.’ His shoulders sagged.
‘I’m all right, you big softie. Really. I’m just happy to be alive.’
Secrets and Tea at Rosie Lee's Page 32