by Judy Duarte
And her stomach was a mess.
Morning sickness, intensified by a severe case of anxiety and stress, had sent her scurrying to the ladies’ room several times.
She glanced at her watch: 8:27. According to the word Nick had received, Harry’s surgery was expected to take three to four hours, which would make for an interminably long wait.
Keenly aware of her personal discomfort and stress, Hailey had to admit, deep in her heart, she also worried about the fate of the man who had fathered her, the police officer who’d let her climb into his patrol car when she was a child. The man who had more than once brought her a small container of chocolate milk and a jelly-filled doughnut as a treat because he knew how much she liked chocolate and raspberries.
The memories, she supposed, had been good. At least while they lasted.
Before she could find an obscure spot in which she could blend into a shadowed corner, Harry’s wife led several people her way. “Hailey, I’d like you to meet your brothers and their families.”
Brothers?
She’d only meant to meet with Harry, to let him think things had been resolved between them, but after seeing him in that hospital bed and hearing his side of the story, she’d weakened.
And now as she studied the four new faces of people who claimed the same shaky branch of her family tree, trepidation washed over her.
Hailey brushed her moist palms down her denim-covered thighs before she considered shaking anyone’s hand.
“This is Daniel, our middle son.” Kay lovingly stroked the tall, lanky man’s shoulder and smiled. “Dan’s an industrial engineer and lives in Los Angeles.”
Dan Logan, a slightly balding man in his late thirties, took Hailey’s hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Was it? Hailey couldn’t help but question his sincerity, even though a gentle smile graced his face—a face that boasted blue eyes remarkably similar to his mother’s.
“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Hailey wished the words hadn’t sounded so stilted, so rehearsed. Yet she wasn’t sure why. The greeting was merely a standard response. Had she wanted to come up with something better?
Dan turned to a towheaded teenage boy wearing a blue-and-white letterman’s jacket. The stocky kid looked to be about sixteen, more or less. “This is my son, Eric.”
Hailey shook hands with the teenager and offered him a smile, which he shyly returned.
Gosh, this was hard. Awkward. Weird. She struggled with a mishmash of emotions, particularly curiosity and a bit of skepticism.
Unable to help herself, she glanced across the room, needing a lifeline, a touchstone. Needing Nick.
She found him near the television, talking to a man wearing a minister’s collar. Nick’s eyes locked on hers, offering something—support? Strength?
She wasn’t sure what she’d seen in his gaze, but she clung to it just the same and found a comfort she hadn’t expected.
“And this,” Kay said, drawing Hailey’s attention back to the introductions, “is our youngest son, Joseph.”
A sandy-haired man, also in his thirties, stepped forward and slid Hailey a smile. His face held a rugged, weathered look, suggesting he spent more time outdoors than his brother did.
Kay placed a hand on her son’s back, maternal pride apparent in her smile. “Our boys have done very well for themselves. Joe’s a grading contractor and owns a construction company in Tucson.”
Joe Logan greeted Hailey, then turned to an attractive brunette. “This is my wife, Maria.”
“Mucho gusto.” The petite woman’s green eyes indicated sincerity. “Welcome to the family.”
“Thank you.” It seemed like the right response, yet Hailey wasn’t sure whether she wanted to be accepted by these people or not.
The men, although pleasant, seemed to assess her with a critical eye. Were they trying to determine what kind of problem their illegitimate half sister would present to the family? Or had they merely spotted the resemblance to their oldest brother who had died?
Hailey wasn’t sure, but she offered a polite smile and some small talk before excusing herself. Then she quickly chose a seat in the far corner of the room, away from the door or the television. Away from the path most folks would wander.
Hailey might be Harry’s daughter, biologically speaking, but she really wasn’t part of the Logan family. Not yet. And she still wasn’t sure whether she wanted to be.
Yet curiosity nagged at her, and she couldn’t help but study the people in the room.
Several younger men stood in clusters—a fireman in uniform with a radio on his hip, a guy in a snazzy three-piece suit. Another in faded jeans and a Harley Davidson shirt. They all appeared to be part of the Logan group.
Were they the guys both Nick and Kay had mentioned, the ones who’d once been delinquents Harry had befriended? Guys like Nick who felt an allegiance to the retired detective?
She again sought the man who’d brought her here, caught him watching her. He seemed to excuse himself before making his way through the crowd, shaking hands with people along the way. Yet his focus remained on her.
Hailey welcomed his presence. His strength. His support.
When he took the seat next to her, she leaned toward him and whispered, “Who are all these people?”
“Harry’s co-workers. Kay’s church friends. Neighbors.” He flashed her a crooked grin. “And most of the guys who turned their sorry lives around because of the efforts of a kindhearted but stubborn cop. I’ll introduce you to them when you’re ready.”
Hailey didn’t think she’d ever be ready. Yet she couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in her father, a man who provided a fine example to so many guys who might otherwise have ended up on the wrong side of the law.
The men, now grown and their lives on track, seemed to comfort Kay. As did Hailey’s two half brothers.
Dan and Joe Logan appeared to have accepted her as a family member. Her sister-in-law had, too. It both pleased her and placed an additional burden on her heart. How much of a relationship did she want with these people?
Hailey snagged a magazine off the table and flipped through the pages, trying to ignore the comings and goings of people in the room. But when a handsome yet sober-faced doctor dressed in a white lab coat entered and strode toward Kay, Hailey’s heart thumped to her stomach.
It was too early. The surgery was supposed to last much longer than this. Had something gone wrong? Had Harry…died?
The young doctor greeted Kay first, giving her a hug.
Hailey elbowed Nick and leaned toward him. “Who’s that?”
“It’s Luke,” he said. “Dr. Lucas Wynter, I mean. Another one of Logan’s Heroes.”
She studied the young doctor, then slid a glance at the one-time bad boy sitting beside her, caught his profile, the square cut of his chin, the angular cheekbones. Something told her there was still a bit of rebel in the detective, something she found far more appealing than she should.
Don’t get too close, her conscience ordered. Nick Granger may be easy to lean on today, but he’s not the kind of man you want or need.
And he wasn’t.
Even if he did happen to be her temporary lover.
And the father of her baby.
Like the others, Nick stood when the cardiovascular surgeon finally entered the waiting room and announced that Harry had made it through surgery and had been taken to recover in ICU.
The room, once filled with tension, eased as smiles, happy tears and hugs prevailed.
After saying goodbye to Kay, Nick took Hailey by the hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
For some reason, he thought she might resist him taking the lead, but she clung to his hand, making him feel like some kind of hero and protector, and followed him down the corridor that led to the hospital entrance.
No doubt she was eager to escape. The long, stressful wait had done a real number on her, he supposed, especially since she’d
spent so much time in the bathroom.
He had a feeling she’d puked her guts out earlier, because each time she’d come out of the john, she’d appeared pale. Drained.
Thank God his nerves didn’t react like hers.
As they left the hospital, Nick expected Hailey to let go of his hand, but surprisingly, she held on tight.
It felt weird but good to hold her close, to lead her out of the hospital, to help her escape a stress-filled day.
With each step they took, she seemed to gain strength. Probably from the fresh air, but it felt kind of nice to think his presence had something to do with it.
When they reached the parking lot, she asked, “Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you home.”
Home. It seemed like the perfect place for them to go to unwind. To relax. To be together.
“Unless you’d rather go somewhere else,” he added.
“No, that’s fine, but can you slow down? I’m a bit light-headed.”
Good grief, she wasn’t going to faint on him again, was she? He’d had emergency training and could perform CPR in his sleep, if need be, but the thought of Hailey passed out on the ground didn’t sit well with him.
His steps slowed to a stop. “You gonna be okay?”
“Yes, I think so.” She offered him a weak smile. “If you don’t make me dash through the parking lot like a running back dodging opponents.”
“Sorry,” he said, resuming a slower trek to the Jeep.
Although glad to be out of the limelight, Hailey pondered the changes that this morning had brought. The people who’d been introduced to her, family members, if she wanted to claim them.
She thought about Harry, her father. And Kay. Siblings who had become real, rather than faceless creatures who’d claimed her father when she was only six. She also had a sister-in-law. A nephew.
How would they all fit into her life? Into her baby’s life?
She slid a glance at Nick, at his rugged profile. Was there a place in her life for a man like him? For the father of her baby?
He opened the passenger door for her, then proceeded to the driver’s side and climbed in. Within minutes they were heading back home.
Or rather to Nick’s place.
“When are you scheduled to fly back to Minnesota?” he asked.
“I have an open ticket.” She could go home whenever she wanted to.
He seemed to ponder her answer. “How long do you think you’ll stay?”
“I’m not sure. I’d planned on going home tomorrow.” Of course, that was before meeting her brothers. Before she considered being part of Harry’s family—not that she’d made a decision yet.
“Are you saying your plans are still up in the air?”
Well, sort of. She didn’t have to be back to work until next week, should she decide to stay longer.
She slid a glance at Nick, trying to read his stoical expression. Did he want her to stay? Did it even matter to him on a personal level?
“What do you think I ought to do?” she asked, but after the words left her mouth she wanted to reel them back in.
As much as she wanted to know what Nick was thinking about their hot but destined-to-be-brief love affair, she didn’t want him to think she was…she was what?
Taking things to a more intimate and personal level?
A part of her wanted to. But not the rational, organized part. “Let me rephrase that question. Do you think I should stay an extra day or two, just to make sure Harry is okay?”
Nick really shouldn’t give a damn when she went back to Minnesota, as long as she and Harry had a chance to meet and reconcile. But for some reason he did.
Because of the sex, he told himself. That’s why he wasn’t ready for her to go. Because once she boarded that plane, their relationship—or whatever it was they had—would be over.
“I’m sure Harry will want to see you,” he said, “once he’s out of ICU.”
“You’re right.” She glanced out the window of the car, studying the coastline as they headed south on Interstate 5. A moment or two later, she turned her head, caught his eye. “You don’t mind if I stay with you?”
He shot her a crooked smile. “Not unless you send me back to the sofa to sleep.”
“I ought to.”
“Why is that?” he asked, willing to discuss the merits of a no-strings involved relationship while she was in San Diego.
“Because I think a relationship should be based upon more than sexual compatibility.”
“I guess it should be,” he said, “if a relationship had any chance of lasting.”
She nodded, then looked out at the ocean again, staring at the horizon long after the freeway wound inland and the Pacific was lost from view.
Had he hurt her feelings? He hoped not. But Nick Granger wasn’t cut out for the kind of relationship Hailey wanted or needed. The kind of relationship that promised commitment and love. The kind that promised the happily-ever-after found in storybooks.
Nick was a realist.
But for the first time in his life, he was almost sorry that he was.
Chapter Twelve
Later that afternoon, Nick and Hailey went back to the hospital to see Harry. They stayed only long enough to let him know they were there, then left his bedside.
“He looks good,” Hailey said, “Better than I expected.”
Nick didn’t know about that. There were a few too many tubes and wires still hooked up to the once-rugged cop to suit him, but at least Harry’s color was better. And he was talking, smiling even. That sure counted for something.
“The nurse said they’ll move him to an intermediate care floor tomorrow, if he continues to improve.” Nick ushered Hailey out of ICU, and the big, double doors locked behind them.
A waiting room for those visiting someone in Intensive Care sat to the left. Nick ushered Hailey inside so they could give their regards to Kay. There weren’t nearly as many friends and supporters at the hospital as there had been this morning, but Nick suspected Harry still had more visitors than the norm.
Once in the room they mingled. Nick spoke to Joe Davenport, a man who had become a good friend. He’d met the fireman a few years back at a Logan family barbecue and found they’d shared more than Harry and a crappy childhood. They’d both loved surfing, and a friendship naturally developed. As always, it was good to see Joe, but Nick couldn’t keep his gaze from wandering, from searching for Hailey.
Fortunately, she appeared to be more at ease this evening. More confident.
At least she hadn’t gotten that stupid nervous stomach that sent her to the ladies’ room off and on. In fact, she chatted awhile with both of her brothers, and if the smiles were any indication, they’d all begun to accept their new relationship.
When Hailey walked to the water cooler in the corner, Nick joined her. She filled a paper cup, then offered it to him. The thoughtfulness of her gesture touched him, even though anyone else might think of it as no big deal.
But people hadn’t always put Nick’s needs first, including his mom who’d sometimes been too drunk to cook breakfast, let alone dinner, and a stepdad who didn’t care if his stepson ate or not. For a guy who, when growing up, had to muscle in and take what he wanted, what he needed, Nick hadn’t always had such consideration from others—not until Harry came along.
He really wasn’t thirsty, but he took the paper cup from her. “Thanks.”
Hailey got a drink for herself, then scanned the smiling faces. “I’m surprised at how many people are still here.”
“Harry and Kay are good people. They have a lot of friends. And I imagine folks have been coming and going all day.”
“Do you think we should leave?” she asked. “Maybe come back tomorrow?”
“It’s probably a good idea.” But Nick wasn’t just thinking about weeding out the crowd. He was thinking about getting Hailey home, about spending a quiet evening with her. About ending it in bed. Together. Making love and waking wi
th her in his arms again.
He suspected there wouldn’t be many more chances for them to be together again, not once she boarded that Minnesota-bound plane.
Which would be too bad, he realized, a twinge of regret socking him in the chest. He’d gotten kind of used to having her around. Surprisingly.
It was the sex, he reminded himself. A good lover was hard to find. And Hailey was better than good.
He crushed the paper cup in his hand, then dropped it into the trash. And after a few parting words to Kay, he and Hailey left the hospital.
“Do you think you can find this place by yourself?” he asked.
“If I had to. Why?”
“I’ve got to go to work in the morning. But if you drop me off at the precinct, you can use the Jeep.”
She paused, brow furrowed, pondering something. Whether she could handle coming alone? Whether she could find her way without him? He wasn’t sure.
“Will you draw me a map?” she asked. “Just in case?”
“Sure.” Nick glanced across the seat, momentarily wishing he had the kind of job that would allow him to take more time off. But he didn’t. And it was crazy to even think about it. He wouldn’t want another job if given the chance. Being a detective suited him. Gave him a satisfaction he couldn’t get anywhere else.
Hailey didn’t say anything, just took his announcement about work in stride. Had they been married or had some other kind of live-in-type arrangement, he figured she might have voiced a complaint. Whined. Demanded more of him. The way Carla had.
It was, he supposed, just one more reason why it was good she was leaving, heading back to Minnesota when Harry’s surgery was behind them.
Yet, thinking about Hailey leaving didn’t sit well with him. Not at all. And that twinge in his chest tightened. Vise-like.
It’s the sex, he again reminded himself. A guy could get damned used to having a woman like Hailey warm his bed. A lady who turned him every which way but loose, who made him think about sleeping with her, even when the sun was shining and she was nowhere in sight.
“How about we pick up some Chinese take-out,” he suggested, trying to keep his thoughts on track. On getting home, eating and having sex. Nothing sappy or sentimental. “There’s a great little place in Hillcrest called Johnny Wong’s. I can call ahead. Then maybe we can kick off our shoes, relax. What do you say?”