by Sara Craven
body exploded into hers.
When the last, wrenching shiver of pleasure was over and her body had found a kind of peace, Emily slumped forward,
sobbing helplessly as she buried her face against his throat. And he held her, murmuring to her in his own language.
Time passed. At some moment, she realised she was being carried across the room and lowered gently, until she felt the
softness of the fur rug against her damp skin. Became aware that he was lying beside her, propped on an elbow, his hand
gently stroking her body, making her feel as boneless and contented as a purring cat.
Eventually she made herself look at him directly. Tried to read something from the dark, enigmatic face. Attempted to
think of something she could say, but failed.
Making him the first one to speak, his fingertips still tracing delicate patterns across her flat stomach. He said quietly, ‘So,
now we both know, do we not’
He allowed a significant pause, then added flatly, ‘And in future you will never again pretend either to me, or to yourself,
that you do not want me. From now on, you share my bed when I wish and you do whatever I desire.Capisci ’
Shock lanced through her. He was telling her he’d won, she realised numbly, and, for him, that was all that mattered. Not
the rapture she thought they’d shared, which for him would be nothing new. After all, he was probably accustomed to
women left mindless and weeping in his arms after lovemaking.
‘Yes, I—understand.’ Her voice was husky.I understand only too well . ‘Is that—all you have to say’
He shrugged a shoulder. ‘What do you want to hear That I knew always there was fire beneath the ice, even if you
chose to deny it And that you were worth waiting for It is all true.’ There was a tinge of mockery in his voice. ‘You
exceeded my sweetest dreams,carissima .’
She didn’t really know what she’d hoped he might say. She only knew that he hadn’t said it and that there was a small
hard pain where her heart should have been.
She said evenly, ‘You left out—“for as long as I want”.’
‘How careless of me.’ His tone was light. ‘But perhaps I felt the reminder was unnecessary.’
In spite of the fire’s warmth, she suddenly felt very cold, so her shiver was involuntary.
She said in a low voice, ‘May I get dressed now, please’
‘When you owe me for all the lost pleasure of these past three years’ Raf shook his head almost in derision. ‘You have a
serious debt to pay,mia bella .’ His caressing hand moved. Became exquisitely specific. He saw her eyes widening,
darkening to emerald, and smiled ironically. ‘And, now that we have both recovered a little, I shall expect the next
instalment very soon,’ he added softly, and bent, taking one dusky rose nipple gently between his lips and bringing it to
throbbing arousal with the delicate flicker of his tongue.
She’d have given all she possessed to turn away from him. To revert to her former indifference. But it was far too late for
that. And, it seemed, he hadn’t been fooled anyway.
Besides, deep inside her, impossibly, incredibly, she already felt the inexorable tug of renewed desire.
Raf raised his head and looked at her. He said quite gently, ‘Precisamente. And I think, don’t you,cara , that we would
both be more comfortable if we pursued this matter in bed.’
He got lithely to his feet and extended his hand to her. She allowed his fingers to clasp hers, to draw her upwards. For a
moment, he stood looking down at her and Emily lowered her lashes, letting them veil the welter of confusion in her eyes.
She thought he was going to speak, but he said nothing. Instead, he simply led her to the stairs and she went without
protest, feeling her heartbeat quicken in an excitement and need that she was unable to control.
Wanting to die of shame, yet knowing, at the same time, that she was already far beyond it.
Because her body was now his, irrevocably, and for all time. And there was nothing she could do to change that, even
though she knew the time would inevitably come when he would want her no longer.
Then, as the bed received them and Raf took her in his arms, whispering her name against her eager mouth, all thinking
stopped.
The bath water was warm and deep and Emily sank into it gratefully. She felt drained and hollow, but, then, why wouldn’t
she after such a prolonged and intense lesson in the physical aspects of lovemaking she asked herself wryly.
Even now the merest recall of what had happened during the past few hours brought the blood soaring to her face.
She’d never imagined she could be capable of such abandonment, or that she could be brought over and over again to
such a pitch of frantic, exquisite delight.
Even to someone of her inexperience, it was clear that Raf had been incredibly generous and unselfish with her,
deliberately restraining his own satisfaction until hers had been achieved.
As, she realised, he would have done from the beginning—if she’d allowed it.
But that, of course, was the secret of his success with women, Emily thought, flinching. And something she needed to
keep at the forefront of her mind—the knowledge that she was far from the first to experience the sublime magic of his
hands and mouth on her skin, or the controlled male power of him sheathed inside her as he took her to the next
rapturous pinnacle.
And as she’d floated slowly back to reality, she’d heard him praising her softly, telling her how wonderful she was and
how beautiful. How she was his one desire.
Which, of course, was not the truth—not any of it, and she would be a fool to believe it—or even hope that it could be
so.
But what was one more folly amongst so many others
She’d left Raf sleeping, because, in spite of her own exhaustion, her mind was too restless to let her claim any kind of
oblivion beside him.
She’d paused for a moment at the side of the bed, looking down at him, his long lashes dark on his cheek, the firmness of
his mouth relaxed into a half-smile.
How could she ever have thought she didn’t want him she wondered sadly.
The temptation to bend and kiss him was almost overwhelming, but she controlled it, telling herself that he deserved his
rest, and, instead, slipped quietly away to bathe and wash her hair.
To make herself beautiful again for her lover, she thought ironically, as if she’d ever been more than reasonably attractive.
She had no illusions. She’d seen the thinly veiled surprise in people’s faces when she’d been introduced as his wife. Had
heard the unspoken question What does he see in her
Well, a challenge was the answer to that, she thought. But a challenge that didn’t exist any more, leaving her nowhere to
hide—not now she’d given herself in total surrender.
Yet wasn’t that what she’d always feared she asked herself, her throat tightening. Why she’d tried so desperately to
keep him at a distance Because she’d feared from the first that she would lose herself—her identity—any vestige of
independence—in so total a belonging
Not that he saw it that way.A serious debt …His words.
And when that debt was paid, what then
She submerged abruptly and came up gasping. Well, she knew the answer to that. She’d be ‘let go’ in the classic phrase
that meant she’d become redundant—surplus to requirements. Unnecessary in the cruelest way.
She’d been warned, of course. Raf had told her that he would make her want him, but th
at he’d show her no mercy when
it happened.
And I was so sure, she thought, that I could prove him wrong.
She got out of the bath and dried herself, then rubbed the worst of the moisture from her hair and brushed it on to her
shoulders.
Raf’s robe was hanging on the back of the bathroom door and, acting on impulse, she put it on. The scent of his cologne
still lingered in the folds of silk and she drew a deep breath, allowing herself a moment of sensuous reminiscence as she
secured the sash round her slender waist.
At the foot of the stairs she halted, looking round the living room, which was far from its usual pristine state. The fire had
died long ago and there were sofa cushions scattered on the floor, along with their discarded clothing.
And a strange sound in the quietness too. The noise, she realized, of raindrops beating against the window. The promised
thaw was here. And had been for hours, judging from the way the banks of snow were rapidly turning to slush.
I never realised, she thought, and her mouth curved into a reluctant grin. But, in Raf’s arms, I probably wouldn’t have
noticed if one of these mountains had turned into Mount Etna on a bad day.
And we can leave. If we want to. Yet perhaps I’d rather stay. Let the honeymoon go on.
She wandered into the kitchen and filled the kettle. She’d just put it on the stove when she heard the sound of an
approaching vehicle and saw Angus’s Jeep coming up the track, melting snow spraying from its tyres.
‘Oh, hell,’ Emily muttered and flew into the living room, snatching up sweaters, jeans, underwear and her skirt and
pushing them behind the sofa, before replacing its cushions. Giving the place at least a façade of respectability.
By the time Angus reached the door she had it open and was smiling brightly if breathlessly. ‘Oh, hi.’
His own expression was dour. Raf’s robe covered her from throat to ankles, but she still sensed disapproval. He was
carrying her discarded wellingtons.
‘I found these outside.’
‘Oh.’ She took them from him. ‘Well, thank you.’
‘Are you not feeling well’
Clearly, only being stricken by a passing virus could account for being in a dressing gown at this time of day.
‘I’m fine.’ Emily shrugged. ‘Just thought I’d—wash my hair.’
Clearly such eccentric behaviour was beyond him. He produced a sheaf of papers from an inside pocket of his parka.
‘Auntie asked me to bring these up to your man. They’re the answers to the emails he sent this morning. He usually
comes down for them in the afternoon, so she was a wee bit concerned.’
‘You mean there’s a computer at the shop’
‘Well, you should know,’ Angus said. ‘You must have made your booking on it.’
Emily bit her lip. ‘Why, yes, of course. I was forgetting.’ She paused. ‘But surely it belongs to your aunt. It can’t be for
general use.’
‘Your husband’s a friend of Mrs Albero, and she was a Lomax before she got married, it seems, so Auntie Maggie was
prepared to make a concession. Besides, he pays well enough for the privilege. And she says he must have money to
burn, the time he spends on the phone to Italy.’ He looked past her into the cottage. ‘Is he not around’
‘He’s not available at the moment,’ she said evasively, trying not to blush and praying that Raf would not make a liar of
her by suddenly appearing stark naked and all too available.
‘Then I’d best give them to you.’ He handed her the papers. ‘They’re mostly in Italian, you’ll find.’ He produced a
separate sheet. ‘And here are his phone messages. He’s been waiting for these.’
As Emily took the sheet, she glanced casually down at the list of names and froze as one seemed to leap out at her. And
not once, but three times.Valentina .
There was a sudden roaring in her ears and she felt the world recede to some far distance as a small despairing voice in
her head whispered silently, Oh, no—please. Surely not…
Yet what else had she expected she asked herself numbly. She’d had sex with Raf—nothing more. He’d required
recompense for her insult to his masculinity and had taken it in full measure. But he’d made no promises. Had offered no
long-term commitment or guarantees of fidelity. On the contrary.
He still planned to live his life on his own terms, and she was a fool if she imagined otherwise.
Angus’s voice reached her on a note of impatience. ‘I said—I suppose you’ll be leaving soon.’
She looked at him almost blankly. ‘I—I don’t know what the plans are.’
‘Well, your man told Auntie he’d need to be returning to Rome as soon as the weather improved, and they reckon the
snow will be all gone by morning.’
He’s not my man.She wanted to shriek the words aloud. I may belong to him now, she thought, but he’s not mine and he
never will be.
She became aware that he was watching her, his face slightly puzzled. He said rather more gently, ‘It’s a shame you
haven’t had the chance to get out and about more during your stay. It’s very beautiful round here.’ He paused. ‘Maybe
you’ll come back some time.’
‘Perhaps,’ she said. ‘Who knows’
She watched him trudge back to the Jeep, then lifted her hand in farewell as she closed the door.
She folded the list and put it inside the emails. Her pride demanded that Raf shouldn’t know that she’d seen it, although
he probably wouldn’t care. She’d noticed some envelopes in a box with writing paper in the cupboard beside the
fireplace and she fetched one of them and tucked all the paperwork inside, sealing down the flap.
Then she collected the armful of clothing from behind the sofa and took it all upstairs.
Raf was awake and sitting up yawning and pushing his hair out of his eyes when she entered the bedroom. He looked at
her, absorbing what she was wearing, and his smile almost stopped her heart.
‘So there you are,mia bella ,’ he said softly. ‘I missed you.’
‘I thought you’d still be asleep.’ She busied herself sorting out their clothing.
He shrugged a shoulder. ‘Something woke me. An engine, perhaps’
‘Probably.’ She paused. ‘Angus McEwen was here.’
He stilled. His eyes went over her again, this time without amusement, as if he was assessing the cling of the silk against
her body.
‘Perche’ he rapped out. ‘For what reason’
‘He brought you this.’ She walked over to the bed and handed him the envelope. ‘Emails and stuff. You didn’t turn up to
collect them and his aunt thought they might be urgent.’
‘If you remember,’ he said slowly, ‘I had other far more urgent matters to attend to.’ He captured her wrist, pulling her
down on the bed beside him. ‘And I think it is time I took back my robe,’ he added, reaching for the sash.
She wriggled away, her answering smile faintly fixed. ‘I need to extend the loan for a little while longer,’ she told him
lightly. ‘The kettle will be boiling and I have coffee to make.’
But by the time she’d made it Raf was already downstairs, fully dressed and pulling on his parka. His face was sombre,
even frowning, and a renewal of passion was clearly the last thing on his mind.
The envelope, she saw, was sticking out of his pocket.