Hal kept his tone gentle and his words slow, and finally Jesse got into the bed beside him. Hal immediately drew her close to his body sliding his arm under her small figure, and burying his good hand in her hair. He felt himself relax as he laid there with her, and unable to keep them open any longer, his eyes drifted closed.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked her in a low mumble, his voice once again revealing just how tired he truly was.
“I’m good,” Jesse said softly, and Hal released a relaxed sigh as he felt her begin to run her nails along his back, then up through his hair and back down again.
Hal released a long, contented sigh, and he knew that if he were a cat, he could have certainly been purring.
“I love you,” Hal managed to mumble as he drifted off.
“I love you too,” Jesse’s breath tickled his ear as she whispered into it.
With a contented smile, Hal was finally able to fall into a much-needed sleep.
Chapter 86
Jesse
As Hal fell asleep, Jesse continued to run her fingers through his hair as she ran through a long string of thoughts in her head.
She was concerned for Hal, of course. She was almost positive that there was something going on with Hal. She admitted that she hadn’t known Hal for very long, but in that span of time, she hadn’t known him to be a heavy drinker. So the fact that he had been sleeplessly drinking was at least enough to warrant concern.
He seemed fine now that she was here, but that, too, inspired concern in Jesse.
She tried to think back on all the conversations they had had over the time they had been seeing one another, and she looked back especially on the night at his cabin when he had been so utterly outraged with her. She also remembered that he had asked her to spend the night with him. She felt bad, knowing that if she had just agreed, he would likely have been able to put his thoughts to rest and sleep.
Jesse wondered just what kind of bad thoughts he was having, and if they were entirely related to her or if they were hinged upon events that had occurred in his past.
Jesse looked down at Hal’s peaceful face as he slept, and she felt a surge of protectiveness for him wash over her. She didn’t want him to ever feel anxious or scared, especially not because of her. She wondered how she would ever be able to relay to him that she was devoted to him and that she wanted to be with him.
She could also understand, though, how he would have a hard time understanding that. From what she could remember of what he told her about his past, he had already gone through the horrible process of losing someone that he deeply loved. He had told her of his decision to go on with his career rather than to keep up his search for the woman he had loved.
Jesse could see now where his fear of her abandonment came into play. He obviously felt as though he had abandoned the woman that he once loved, and he was afraid that now, through some twist of fate, that the same thing would happen to him.
Jesse wished that she knew the words to say to convince him that his worries were baseless and that she wouldn’t abandon him because of his success, or for any other reason. She knew, though, that there was really nothing she could say to convince him and that she would just have to prove it by staying with him.
Jesse decided that the best answer to this problem would be if she moved in with him. She was sure that he wouldn’t take issue with it, as he had already offered it up to her on many occasions. At first, she had been reluctant to accept, not wanting for him to feel crowded or smothered and to allow their relationship to have some room to breathe.
Now though, she came to see that what she saw as breathing room, Hal saw as a smothering distance. The last thing that she wanted was for Hal to worry about what she was doing when they were apart. Especially given his particularly sensitive state for the time being, she would probably bring up that issue with him whenever he woke up.
Jesse felt a sick feeling, though, as she remembered the other issues she would have to discuss with him whenever he woke up. She had been so taken aback by the revelation that he was sleepless, hungover, and injured that she had forgotten what had happened that morning.
Jesse felt bitter hatred toward Elaine, which she had never imagined she would ever feel toward another human being in her entire life.
Jesse had no idea how Hal would even react to what she had to tell him. More than that, Jesse was horribly afraid that he wouldn’t believe her when she told him that she wanted nothing to do with it. She knew he had already voiced his suspicions once, and now that reality was so close to what he accused her of, she was afraid that this would be a repeat of the other night at the cabin.
Jesse didn’t know that he would believe her a second time, and Jesse felt a sharp pain at the idea that she would lose him. Unconsciously, she buried her hands in Hal’s hair and held him a little tighter, pressing her lips against his forehead. She couldn’t help being afraid that this might be one of the last times that she got to hold him.
At this point, Jesse didn’t know what she would do without Hal. She had fallen completely in love with him to the point that she was ready to completely give up on her journalism career if that’s what it took to keep him. Now, though, she feared that not even that would be enough to persuade Hal that she was faithful and not just another writer intent on revealing his past to get a good story out of him.
Jesse laid there, her emotions working themselves into knots in her stomach for a long while. At length, she began to try and plan out what it was she was going to say to Hal and how she would convince him that this had all just unfolded, and that it hadn’t been a long time in the making. No matter what words she came up with, though, the fear of his rebuke still gnawed at her, and she couldn’t seem to dismiss it.
In the end, after playing what seemed like a thousand scenarios over in her mind, Jesse decided to just be still and enjoy the feeling of him in her arms and the feeling of being wrapped in his.
Chapter 87
Hal
Hal’s eyes flickered open, and he was immediately greeted by the welcome sight of Jesse’s blue eyes watching him intently. He gave her a smile and tightened his grip around her, bringing her close to his chest and pressing a kiss to her head.
“Hey,” he said, his voice dry but much less tired than it had been before.
“Hey,” Jesse repeated. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better,” he answered. He shifted his weight and released her so that he could stretch and yawn. He blinked his eyes, still heavy with sleep, but he did have to admit that he felt a lot better. His headache was nearly gone, and he felt like a new man after having finally gotten some sleep.
“How long was I out?” he asked as he turned back to look at Jesse.
“A little under three hours,” she said, giving him a soft smile.
Hal blinked, but he wasn’t too surprised, considering that he hadn’t slept even a little the previous night.
“Did you sleep any?” he asked her, raising his hand to brush his fingertips along her cheekbones.
“A little,” she said, but Hal didn’t believe her. Her eyes were still filled with worry, and he was sure she had been up the entire time he slept, watching over him.
Hal grunted and sat up in the bed, wincing a little as he used his bandaged hand to help him. Jesse was immediately beside him looking down at his hand.
“Is it alright?” she asked him, her eyes searching his face.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” Hal said. “I’ll probably change the bandages here in a little bit.”
Jesse nodded, and she seemed to relax.
They lingered in silence for a moment, and Hal took that moment to collect his thoughts a little bit. As he recalled what had transpired between them when she arrived at his home, he realized that they had never really talked about her meeting. She had gotten caught up with his hand, and he had forgotten to ask her about how it had gone.
“So how did your meeting go?” he asked her, turning to face her.
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Hal saw her stiffen, and he frowned.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, tilting her chin up to look at him. “What happened?”
Her eyes seemed wary as she looked up at him. Hal worried that the interview hadn’t gone very well and that it was weighing heavily on her.
“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he assured her.
“No, it’s not that,” Jesse shook her head. “It’s just … it wasn’t really an interview.”
Hal frowned, confused.
“What do you mean?” Hal asked, searching Jesse’s face to try and guess what had happened.
“The blog that I thought I had an interview for,” Jesse started, “was actually a subsidiary company of The Edge. And the meeting was actually with Elaine.”
Hal blinked and felt himself become more than a little uneasy. He felt his anxiety well up within himself, and he worked hard to keep it at bay so that he could have a rational conversation with Jesse. The last thing he wanted to do was fly off the handle and make everything into a much bigger issue than it actually was.
“Well, what did she want to meet with you about?” he asked, working to keep his voice level.
“She asked me to go back to The Edge,” Jesse said.
Hal considered it for a moment.
“Is that what you want?” he asked her softly.
Jesse laughed a little bitterly.
“That’s not all she wanted,” Jesse said and looked up at him with a sad expression.
Hal stiffened and waited for her to further explain.
“She said she wanted me to write the article about you that she had asked for in the first place,” Jesse said, her voice tight. “The one that I had copped out of. She offered me a raise and a better position if I just wrote the article.”
Hal clenched his teeth and remained quiet, trying not to jump to any conclusions. His heart pounded in his chest and he felt his headache begin to roar back into his head.
“Did you take the job?” Hal asked her, hoping that her answer was the one that he need to hear.
“Of course not,” she said. “I told her no. She told me that this would be my last chance, but I told her no.”
Hal felt a surge of relief.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, though in truth he wasn’t sorry in the least. The last thing he wanted was for Jesse to be working for that snake of a woman.
“That’s not all,” Jesse said, and Hal frowned, once again tensing up. “She tried to blackmail me.”
Hal froze, a dark feeling of anger simmering just beneath his skin.
“She what?” he seethed, his voice soft.
“She had photos,” Jesse said, her voice barely audible.
“Photos?” Hal pressed, wanting a little more information than that.
Jesse seemed to hesitate.
“Photos of us,” she elaborated. “At the cabin, and … and in the pool.”
Hal’s stomach dropped, and he felt a little caught off guard. He had been absolutely certain that nobody would know they were at the cabin.
“How?” he asked, bewildered and confused.
“Phillip,” Jesse said softly. “Elaine told me he tipped her off.”
Jesse’s voice was quiet, and Hal released a growl as he threw off his covers and stalked up and down the room. He was enraged that one of his own employees had had the nerve to tip off the press about their location.
Firing Phillip would be simple enough. But undoing the damage these photos would do to Jesse’s reputation if they were released was another issue altogether.
For now, though, he had to deal with the issue that he actually had a solution to.
Hal moved to his bedside table and picked up his phone, dialing Adam’s number.
Chapter 88
Jesse
Jesse was filled with anxiety as she watched Hal pace across the room, growling to himself, and she flinched as he snatched up the phone from the bedside table, roughly tapping on the screen before pressing it to his ear.
“Adam,” Hal barked into the phone, “your pilot tipped off the press about my trip to the cabin. He’s fired, and I want him taken care of.”
With that, Hal hung up the phone, slammed it back down on the side table and stood with his hands on his hips, his eyes distant as he stared down at the ground. Jesse noticed he was flexing his injured hand, and it seemed as though he would combust at any moment.
Jesse couldn’t fight the fear and anxiety that had peaked within her at this point. Hal had hardly said a word to her, and she had no idea how much of his anger was directed at her or what thoughts were going through his head just now.
Jesse couldn’t remain silent any longer. She slowly knelt on the bed and looked up at him hesitantly.
“Hal?” she spoke softly and jumped a little as he looked sharply up at her. “I’m … I’m really sorry. I had no idea that this blog had anything to do with Elaine. And I … I don’t want you to think I did any of it on purpose.”
Hal’s face softened a little. Jesse was still apprehensive as Hal sat down on the bed and turned his head to face her.
“I’m sorry that all this is happening to you, Jess,” Hal said softly, remorse in his eyes. “I know that none of this is your fault.”
Jesse felt an overwhelming sense of relief at his words, and she let out a breath that she had been holding for what seemed like forever.
“I know how much your reputation means to you,” he went on, looking down at the bed as he spoke. “And I’m sorry that I was careless in taking you out to the cabin without making sure that we were absolutely alone first.”
Jesse hardly heard what he was saying past the relief she felt that he wasn’t angry with her; all she could do was shake her head.
“I don’t care about any of that, Hal,” she said softly, looking up at him. “I don’t care about Elaine, or the photographs, or any of it. All I care about is you and what you think of me. I don’t ever want you to think that I would just use you to write an article and then just pretend that none of this ever happened.”
Jesse felt tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke, and Hal lifted his uninjured hand to wipe away the tears that had trickled down her cheeks.
“Jess, I love you,” he said softly. “I know that as long as we’re together people are going to manipulate you and try to get information about me from you. I know that wherever you get a job, especially as a journalist, people are going to hound you for stories about me. I know that it’s a lot to have to deal with.”
Hal’s voice grew sadder the longer he spoke, and Jesse shook her head.
“I don’t care,” Jesse said. “I won’t be a journalist, then. I’m never going to have you think that I would do anything to betray you. I promise,” Jesse insisted, using one of her hands to press his against her cheek and nuzzling her face into it.
Hal looked over at her carefully, and his eyes searched her face. Jesse hoped that he could see her honesty as he looked her over, and her heart beat as she waited for him to respond to her. Finally, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
“I know,” he said softly. “And I love you. And I would do anything to protect you from what people are going to say about us, from the scrutiny that we’re going to be under. But I can’t protect you from everything.”
“I don’t need you to,” Jesse immediately protested. “I knew this was a risk from the beginning. I’m a big girl; I can handle a few rumors.”
Jesse looked up at Hal and saw a smile flicker across his face before his eyes fell once more to look down at the bed. Jesse frowned as long moments of silence passed between them. For a while, she was too anxious to say anything. Finally, though, she gathered up the courage to gently cup his cheek in her hand and tilt it so that he was looking at her.
“Hal?” she said softly, running her thumb along his cheekbone. “What’s the matter?”
Hal looked up at her, his eyes a little pained, and he released
a long huff of air through his nose. He nuzzled his face into her palm, and she allowed him to. Finally, he opened his mouth, and Jesse waited patiently for him to say what he needed to.
“Jess, I love you,” he said softly. “And I am so grateful for everything that you’ve already put yourself through for us and for the things that you may have to give up.”
Jesse opened her mouth as if to speak, but Hal held up his hand, stopping her. He took another long moment, and she heard him take a deep breath.
“But …” he said, his voice wary. “There’s something that I haven’t been completely honest with you about …”
Jesse frowned and dropped her hand from his face, a feeling of trepidation growing quickly in her stomach.
“What are you talking about?” Jesse asked, her voice soft, not knowing if she was going to like wherever this conversation was headed.
Hal took a deep breath before he spoke again, and Jesse clenched her teeth in anxiety.
“It’s about …” he said, and then stopped for a moment. “There’s more to my story that I didn’t tell you, and that you need to know. About what happened in my past.”
Chapter 89
Jesse and Hal
Hal covered his face with his hands, drew them slowly down his cheeks and let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re going to think it’s related to my previous girlfriend …” Hal searched Jesse’s face, his eye movement rapid, “I can see it in your eyes, but that’s not it—not for the most part at any rate.”
Jesse struggled to remain composed, to focus on what Hal was about to confess, and was she to admit it, yes, that was the thought that had blasted into her mind. But the look in his eyes spoke of something else, some other torment that lay at the heart of his bewildering behavior, and she grabbed his hands now firmly, silently pleading with him to continue.
Hal swallowed, and for a second, Jesse thought that he’d bottled it, that whatever was torturing him was too painfully personal for him to relay—but Hal took a deep breath and his hands tightened around hers. “People—people spend so much time praising me and the success of the film that they overlook one major factor … and … and … you know what that is?”
Bedroom Rodeo: A Billionaire Romance Page 71