“I hate this,” she told me through chattering teeth.
“I know.” I pulled her even closer. “You’re not alone, baby. I’m here.”
“I’m sorry.” She started to cry again, loud sobs.
“Shhh, Billie, sweetheart, this isn’t your fault.” I tried to smooth her damp hair away from her forehead. I remembered somebody doing that to me when I was really little.
Finally, she stopped crying. “I hate being like this,” she whispered.
“It’s okay. I’m glad I was here.” And I was. I hated the thought that she’d been through this before, alone.
“This is embarrassing.” She stretched her legs out but stayed inside my arms.
“Why? You didn’t ask to be abducted.” I rested my chin on her head. “I know you didn’t ask for any of this.” Jesus, nobody would.
“I try not to get mad about it. I just...I don’t know...”
“You can tell me.”
“You’re right. I didn’t ask for any of this, okay? I was just trying to work. I wasn’t bothering anybody. I didn’t flirt or dress sexily. I didn’t do anything wrong.” Her voice cracked, and she started to cry again.
“That’s the worst part.” I smoothed her hair, hoping it brought some kind of relief. “It seems like the…” I didn’t want to say victim because that made her sound weak, and Billie wasn’t weak. “The innocent one is who pays the most.”
“I just want to be semi-normal. I won’t ever forget what happened,” she sobbed, “I’m just so tired of this.”
I went on high alert. “How tired, Billie?” Something about the way she said that worried me.
When she didn’t answer me right away, I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her away from me so that I could see her face. I gentled my voice. “Billie, are you thinking about doing something?” I felt my blood run cold. “Something final?”
She looked away. “Not now.” I heard her swallow. “I have. My therapist knows. I don’t lie about it or try to cover it up.”
“Hey...” I squeezed her upper arms her very gently. “Do we need to make a call? Do you need to talk to somebody?”
“No.” She met my gaze. “I got brave once, since I moved here. I got cocky, and I tried to go to the store.”
“To a grocery store?” After hearing about her ordeal, I knew that had to be her biggest trigger. She sighed, and I loosened my hold to pull her back to my side.
She didn’t fight me. In fact, she molded her body against mine. “I went after work. Things had been going so well, I thought… I thought I was ready. But I wasn’t.”
“What happened?” I tightened my arm around her.
“I made it out of the car and even took three steps, I think.” I felt her smile against my chest. “Then I freaked. I mean, a full-blown attack. I wrestled with the door and finally got back in the car. I thought that I could do it, but I made myself worse.”
I let her stay quiet. I could feel her pain and maybe some embarrassment. Being so open had to be hard when she was so vulnerable.
“I thought about doing something...final.” Her voice grew rougher. “Only for a minute, but if I’d had a way, right then, I probably would have. I felt so defeated. Without any hope.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. A lot of people had laid their problems at my feet, but Billie’s were so much bigger. My heart ached for her. “What’d you do?”
She made a growly noise then sighed. “It’s going to sound stupid.”
“I can handle stupid.” I squeezed her a little.
“I needed to be around people. So, I went to the gym. Somehow, I got changed and I climbed on the treadmill. I don’t really know why I did it, but releasing some of that energy helped.” She shrugged. “Then I figured out I was crying like the crazy woman, so I left. I went home and contacted my therapist.”
Jesus, I’d seen her when she was going through that hell. I closed my eyes and threw up a silent thank you that she’d made it through that night, because the world would have been a sadder place without Billie. My world especially.
She shifted in my arms. “I need to move,” she said. “I need to pace.” She got to her knees and stood shakily.
“Okay.” I stood too. I was worried she would fall over.
“You don’t have to. I’m a…” She rocked from side to side. “I’m sorry you had to hear all of that, and go through this.”
I hated her embarrassment and her apology. “We could get dressed and walk around the complex.”
She looked at the clock. “At three in the morning? Is that smart?” Then she looked at me.
I raised my eyebrows. “What? You don’t think I can keep you safe?”
“I don’t want anything to happen to us.” She looked at her window, and then back at me.
I let out a deep breath. “You’re probably right.”
She frowned. “Look, I have to move.”
“You pace, and I’ll watch.” I wanted to keep an eye on her. This whole night had shaken me to my core.
Two hours later, Billie sat in the big chair in her living room watching SportsCenter with me. She was still on edge. While she’d paced, I’d racked my brain for something to do for her. I didn’t know if my plan would help, but I wanted to try. “I have an idea, but you have to trust me. No questions.”
Her gaze moved from the TV to me. “What kind of idea?”
“The fun kind.” I liked it the more I thought about it. “Grab a shower and dress warmly.”
“We can’t go out. I have to move. Remember?”
“The only thing happening today is the truck is coming for the furniture. We would only be in the way. You have those stickers all over the new place to tell the movers where to place things. Let’s get out of here, B,” I urged.
Her eyebrows lowered. “I can’t ask somebody else to take care of things.”
“I can.” I started typing on my phone.
She flew out of the chair and launched herself at me. “What are you doing?” she shouted, trying to grab my phone.
I held the phone away from her and turned away from her. I kept typing. When I finished, I turned back. “I told Forde I’m going to treat you to a day of fun.”
“Oh.” She looked chagrinned and sat down again. “I thought you were going to tell him everything that happened…you know, earlier.”
“Billie, sweetheart, look at me.” I waited for her to raise her face. “What happened is between us. I’m not going to tell anyone unless you want me to.”
She started to speak then bit down hard on her lip.
“It’s not because I’m embarrassed for you. It’s because you shared something intimate. It’s precious. If you don’t want to talk about it again, that’s cool, but if it would help, we will. This is our thing, B. Nobody else’s.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“I promise. You can trust me.”
For a few long moments, she looked back at the TV. “So how warm should I dress?”
God, she was such a warrior.
Chapter Twenty
Billie
I had no idea what Tye was up to. The little smirk on his face was making me nuts. We left my house after I showered and dressed. Of course, Mr. Control Freak didn’t like what I was wearing. He took a look at my thermal shirt and denim jacket and headed to my bedroom.
After pawing through the meager selection of clothes that I’d not packed and moved, he took a step backward and put his hands on his hips. “You’ll have to wear something of mine.”
“If you’d tell me what we’ll be doing, I might be able to put something together,” I said, mirroring his stance, my hands on my own hips.
“Nope, you just gotta believe.”
I wanted to slap the taunting smile off of his face. He was having fun, and yeah, so was I.
We drove to his house, or should I say mini-mansion. The sun was just starting to rise, but the well-lit exterior was gorgeous. The lush landscaping looked amazing. We pulled into a
four-bay garage.
I followed him into the mudroom where he stored every type of sports equipment known to God. I looked around. “Do you use all of this?”
He kept moving forward. “Not at the same time.”
I gave his back an eye roll.
When we entered the kitchen, his dad stood at the stove. “Hey,” he called, and then when he caught sight of me, he quickly added with a warm smile. “Billie. This is a nice surprise.”
“Good morning.” I tried not to drop my jaw at the size of the room. It was huge. Oh, the fun I could have there.
“Got enough for us?” Tye asked.
“Sure.” Jerry turned and headed to the refrigerator.
I slipped off my jacket. “I can help.”
“You will not,” the elder Burke told me. “You can pour yourself a cup of coffee then sit and talk to me while my boy sets the table.”
“Better do as he says or no food for you,” Tye teased.
“I’ll get you a cup,” I said to Tye.
I poured Tye and myself steaming cups.
Tye took a large gulp. “After we eat, I’ll give you a tour, and then I’ll get us ready.”
I glanced at Tye, and then turned to his dad. “Your son has something planned, and he won’t tell me what it is.”
“Is that so?” Jerry started to plate the food and didn’t seem surprised by his son’s antics.
“So, you know his plan?” I moved to his side to take a plate.
“Nope.” He pointed at the bacon with the tongs and then the sausage.
“Both please.” Hell yeah, I wanted bacon and sausage.
“Gotta love a woman with an appetite.” Jerry put three sausage links and multiple pieces of bacon next to the fried eggs on my plate.
“Toast and/or English muffin?” Tye stood by his toaster.
“English, please, but I can toast it myself.”
“Go sit down. I can handle this.” Tye motioned to the kitchen table.
Feeling pampered, and liking it, I set my plate beside him and took my cup to the table.
Eating with the Burkes was fun. The conversation was easy. They obviously loved one another, although they liked to tease.
“You cooked, so let me clean up,” I said, standing.
Jerry stood also. “Don’t you dare. Son, show her your castle.”
I could tell by the look on Jerry’s face that he wouldn’t budge, so I gave in. “Thank you. You really make a great breakfast, Jerry.”
His smile told me he appreciated the compliment.
“Okay, I’m ready to see this place,” I said to Tye.
“Let’s start on the ground floor.”
I followed him down the stairway located in the back corner of the kitchen.
The tour ended on the second or did it count as the third floor if you included the finished basement. Tye’s home was a show place with many windows overlooking the water below. He’d left me in one room of his bedroom suite that appeared to be an office/den combo while he took a quick shower. I sat in a plush armchair, waiting for him.
I felt my phone vibrate. Layla’s number showed on my screen.
I swiped the screen. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” She sounded chipper for seven AM. “I just wanted you to know I’ve got you covered today.”
“I feel bad dropping all of this in your lap.” I curled one leg under me.
“Are you crazy?” She giggled. “I get to supervise hot men moving heavy things. I’m thinking about sneaking into your place and turning up the heat so they have to take off their shirts. Man, can you imagine all of that nice sweaty flesh?”
I shook my head at her silliness. “Still, it can’t be fun for you. I know you probably had plans...”
“Have you seen my husband? Let me tell you, he looks good without a shirt.” Her voice purred.
“I’m not sure I can answer that in a way that won’t get me killed,” I laughed.
“Whew! It’s got to be those post-pregnancy hormones. I’m horny all of the time.”
I laughed some more. “Okay, so I’m doing you a favor.”
“I should charge the other girls admission.”
“Thank you, and I owe you.”
“We’ll pick a night for you to babysit, so Forde can take me out,” she told me.
“Sign me up.” Layla was the best.
“And, Billie?”
Her tone had changed. “Yeah?”
“Have fun today. You deserve a day without worries, okay?”
I lowered my voice. “I have no idea what we’re doing. Tye hasn’t said.”
“Do you trust him?”
“I do.” I mean, he’d seen me at my weakest, and he knew my story, and he was still there for me.
“Then just let it happen,” she said mysteriously.
“Let what—”
“Oops, got to run. Forde needs me.” She clicked off.
I doubted that was true. I glanced up to find Tye standing in the doorway.
“Trying to pump someone for information?”
He wore faded jeans and a dark T-shirt with a red plaid shirt over it. The shirts weren’t tucked in, and he’d put on black motorcycle boots. He looked hot in the best bad boy way possible.
“Maybe just a little,” I admitted holding up my thumb and index fingers with about a half inch between.
“Come on, let’s see what I can put on you.” He turned and started pulling his hair back into a ponytail.
I followed him up the steps and into his bedroom. I tried not to stare at the biggest bed I’d ever seen. It looked like something that would be on a porno set.
Tye dug inside his closet, which was the size of a small room. “Billie, quit looking at my bed and come here.”
I jumped because I was still eyeing the bed. I hurried into the closet room.
He held out a white thermal shirt.
I looked at my chest, and then at the shirt. “I already have a thermal on.”
“You’re going to need something to keep the air off of you. Layers.” He waved the shirt at me again. “Put this on over the one you’re already wearing.”
I did as told.
He then handed me a deep red hoodie.
I put that on, too.
He looked me up and down.
His shirts fell to just above my knees, and the sleeves hung over my hands.
I followed him once again to the mud room. There, he dug inside another closet then tossed a leather jacket on the bench beside me. Yum, Tye in black leather. Yeah, that was good.
He handed me a black knit hat and gloves.
They looked small. “You wear these?”
“They stretch.” He pulled on the jacket.
I tried not to drool.
Then he grabbed my hand, and we walked into the garage. He led me to a bike that was sitting in the third bay beside a red pickup.
I looked at the bike, and then at him, “We’re going for a ride?”
“You ride?” He started to walk his motorcycle out.
I followed him, memorizing every second. The tall frame dressed in black leather, the blond ponytail. Delicious. “I’ve been on the back a few times.”
He stopped and gave me a blistering look. “With who?”
“Friends.” His anger was puzzling.
“No boyfriends?” he studied me.
What the hell? I tried not to look like his question made me uncomfortable. “I’ve had two boyfriends, okay? Neither had a motorcycle. One was in high school, and he was the president of the Latin Club.” I frowned at him, not happy that I was feeling defensive and spilling my guts.
“The other?” He was still watching at me closely.
His scrutiny made me want to fidget. I huffed loudly. I mean, I wasn’t going to ask him about all of his lady friends. “He was a dentist,” I bit out.
“How long ago?” he spoke through gritted teeth.
I lifted my chin. “Right out of college. It lasted a year, and then it ende
d.”
“What about the guy in Tampa?” He kicked the stand down and balanced the bike.
“It was casual, so no.” I looked away. This was getting embarrassing.
“Sweetheart, I think your definition of casual is different than mine.” He moved toward me.
I didn’t back up as I watched him close the gap.
“So, only two have gotten in?” He lifted my chin, his fingers gentle.
I felt the breath leave my lungs. “In?”
“Inside of you, Billie.”
I jerked my head out of his hand. “Why do you want to know?” I felt cornered and exposed.
“Answer me.” He again captured my chin.
“One.” I felt a blush slide across my cheeks.
“You’re shittin’ me.” His gaze narrowed, full of accusation.
I jerked free of his hold and took a step back. I rubbed my arms. “Only one had my permission.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, B. A woman who looks like you do, and is so sweet—it’s hard to believe your One didn’t put a ring on your finger and tie you to him for all of eternity.”
“Oh.” That sounded kind of nice. “I didn’t love him. I mean not enough.” I explained uneasily. “I was shy, and I worked a lot. Then in Florida, I couldn’t very well sneak a man into my aunt’s house.”
He moved in again, took the knit hat out of the pocket of my borrowed hoodie, and put it on my head. “So fuckin’ sweet and innocent,” he muttered under his breath.
“Until the abduction,” I said, meeting his gaze, challenging him.
“Oh, babe...” He pulled me into his arms. “Rape isn’t sex.”
I took the comfort he offered. When it got to the point where I was enjoying the feel of his hard body against mine, I pulled slowly back. “So, about that fifth vehicle?”
He chuckled. “You really want to know?”
I sighed dramatically. “The suspense is killing me.” Not really, but I was curious and I wanted to change the topic.
He took my hand and pulled me deeper into the garage. “Do you know anything about classic cars?”
“I think they’re pretty...?” I giggled over my silly answer.
Best (Change Series Book 3) Page 17