by Jeff Kinney
enough, I could see people’s Christmas lights on
up and down the street.
Then Rowley asked me if I wanted to make a
snowman. I slammed the door shut, but only after
I helped myself to a few cookies.
I told Mom what Rowley said about the electricity,
and she told me to go down to the basement to see
if there was something wrong with our fuse box.
chatter
chatter
202
When I opened it up and looked at the circuit
breaker, here’s what I found—
off
off
on
off
off
off
off
off
Master
Bedroom
Basement
Manny’s
Room
Kitchen
Greg’s
Room
Dining
Room
Upstairs
Bathroom
Downstairs
Bathroom
The only switch that was ON was the one for
Manny’s room.
I ran upstairs, and when I opened Manny’s door
I got a blast of heat. Manny was sitting there
with a space heater, a pile of food, and a bunch
of OTHER stuff, too.
203
When things got bad, Manny must’ve figured it
was every man for himself. I think he would’ve let
the rest of us freeze to death as long as HE had
enough to survive.
Mom asked Manny why he cut off the power to
the rest of the house, and he started blubbering
that it was because no one ever taught him how to
tie his shoes.
While Mom dealt with Manny, I went down
to the basement and switched on the circuit
breakers for the rest of the house. The
electricity came back on, and the furnace kicked
in. A few minutes after that, Dad called. He
said the highways were clear and that he was
coming home.
204
I looked out the window and saw the plow coming
up our hill.
rumble
Mom said it was a “miracle” that Dad was gonna
be home for Christmas Eve, but to be honest with
you, I had totally forgotten what day it was
until that moment.
Dad picked up some food on the way home, and the
rest of us ate like a pack of wolves. And let me
just say, I’ll never take food for granted again.
smack
gobble
bite
chomp
smack
chew
slork
Mom said she was gonna go out with Dad to try
and find a place that was open that sold glasses.
205
Before she left, Mom asked me to take a present
down to the police station for the Toy Drive and
put it in the outdoor bin, because today was the
last day you could turn a gift in.
But I wasn’t too eager to show my face at the
police station, and I REALLY didn’t need to
spend Christmas in jail. I knew I’d let some kid
down if I didn’t turn in our present, though, so
I found a ski mask in our closet and headed out.
It took forever to get to the police station, and
I crawled the last twenty feet to the bin just to
play it safe.
trudge
trudge
206
crawl
crawl
Once I knew the coast was clear, I stood up and
tossed the present in the bin.
toy drive
Then I turned around and headed home. But
when I walked by the church, I remembered
something. I had filled out a request for the
Giving Tree, and I asked whoever got my
envelope to leave my cash under the recycling bin
behind the church.
207
The church parking lot was covered in snow.
I was pretty sure the recycling bin was buried
somewhere behind the church, but I didn’t know
the exact spot.
Luckily there was a shovel leaning up against the
wall, and I started digging to find the recycling
bin. But it wasn’t in the place I thought it would
be, and I ended up clearing out a HUGE area
looking for it.
soop
kitchen
entrance
I wish the church had a hose attached to the back
of the building, because that would’ve made the job
go a lot easier. I was pretty desperate to find
that envelope, because I figured if I was gonna
start my life on the run, I could really use a big
wad of cash to get me by for the first few weeks.
208
But when I finally found the recycling bin, there
was no envelope beneath it.
I was pretty bummed on the walk back home, and
I forgot all about being careful not to be seen.
So I was totally unprepared when I got to my
front door and a police car pulled in the driveway
right behind me.
I thought this was it for me, so I ran inside
and locked the door. But when the police knocked,
Rodrick let them in.
209
I thought about jumping out the back window
and making a run for it, but I’m glad I didn’t,
because I would’ve looked like an idiot. It turns
out the police weren’t there for me at all. They
were just there to collect last-minute gifts for
the Toy Drive.
I thought they might be bluffing and that they
were just using the Toy Drive as a way of flushing
me out. But I finally worked up the courage to go
to the front door, and I even brought a donation
with me and tried to act casual.
210
The police said they couldn’t accept a used toy as
a donation and that they were only taking new
items in their original packaging. I actually think
they were just a little freaked out by Alfrendo,
because they seemed to leave in a hurry after that.
Christmas
When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t believe
it was Christmas and I was in my house with
electricity and heat and wasn’t on the run from
the police.
I went downstairs to see if there was anything
under the tree, but I was totally shocked to find
there weren’t any gifts at ALL.
211
At first I thought it was all Santa’s Scout’s
fault and that he’d been running his mouth about
the trouble I’ve gotten myself into lately. But
Mom came downstairs a few minutes later and told
me Santa DID come last night and that he left
our gifts in the garage.
Mom said the snowstorm really messed up Santa’s
schedule, so he ran out of time to wrap presents
and just put them in garbage bags instead. That
didn’t make a lot of sense to me, but at that
point I was relieved to be getting any gifts at all.
The rest of the family came downstairs, and Mom
said we could have fun reaching in the trash bags
and guessing what our gifts were.
&nb
sp; Greg
Rodrick
Manny
212
It wasn’t really the same. But I think Dad was
pretty happy he didn’t have any wrapping paper
to clean up.
After I was done with the gifts in the trash
bag, Mom handed me a wrapped present that she
said was from HER.
It was my “Tower of Druids” graphic novel, so I
was a little confused. Mom said she felt bad about
forging Kenny Centazzo’s autograph, so she
found out where he was appearing a few weeks
ago and got my book signed for real this time.
dig
dig
shake
shake
213
She said she had to wait in line for three hours
but she was happy to do it for me.
But based on what’s written in my book now,
I’m guessing Kenny Centazzo didn’t hear my
name correctly.
Hopefully I can find a rich guy named Craig who’s
really into graphic novels so I can sell it to him
for a pile of cash.
please write
“to my biggest
fan, greg.”
To my biggest
fan, Craig
Kenny Centazza
214
Rodrick got a snare drum and some drumsticks,
and Manny got a bunch of toys and a pair of
sneakers. Even though Mom taught Manny how
to tie his shoes yesterday, it looks like he’d
prefer to have her do it for him anyway.
After we were done opening presents, Mom said it
was time to go to church. I told her we couldn’t
go because we didn’t have any clean clothes to wear,
but that’s when she pulled out three last gifts.
sip
tie
tie
santa got all
three of you boys
v-neck sweaters!
215
I really like to spend Christmas in my pajamas,
and the second you put on dress clothes, it feels
like it’s over. So I decided to put my clothes on
OVER my pajamas and pick up where I left off
once we got back home. But it was a mistake to
wear flannel pajamas underneath corduroy pants
and a V-neck sweater for a two-hour service.
After we got home from church, I went upstairs
to change. I actually had puddles of sweat in
my shoes, so I had to empty them out in the
bathroom sink.
When I got downstairs the newspaper was on
the kitchen table, and here’s what was on the
front page—
dump
216
Well, the newspaper didn’t exactly get the story
right, but I’m not gonna complain. In fact,
that article inspired me to put out a new edition
of the “Neighborhood Tattler.” And I’ll bet we
can sell a TON of copies.
The Daily Herald
Unidentified Do-Gooder Clears the Way
Unselfish Act Allows Soup
Kitchen to Open
The blizzard that crippled the town and shut down
many basic services threatened to cancel the soup
kitchen, which many less fortunate individuals rely
on for a hot meal on Christmas. But an unidentified
juvenile spent his Christmas Eve shoveling out the
church sidewalk to make sure that didn’t happen.
see MYSTERY, A2
The Neighborhood
TATTLER
Masked Hero
REVEALED!
The Tattler can exclusively report that
the mysterious do-gooder who
shoveled the church sidewalk on
Christmas Eve is none other than our
very own editor in chief, Greg Heffley.
“I just wanted to do the right thing,”
said Heffley when asked why he decided
see HERO, A2
217