I would give her what she wanted.
One month of Dominance and submission.
No emotion. No emotional touching.
I never realized how empty my life had been, until I didn’t want to go back there.
She wrung her hands together in front of me, waiting, so good. Her lavender sleeping shorts showed off her creamy pale legs. I wanted them wrapped around my waist.
“You’re killing me,” she whimpered, unable to keep quiet.
A few minutes in and she was already fucking up. “Did I tell you that you could talk? Hmm?”
She shook her head.
“Use your words, Miya.”
A spark of irritation filled her eyes, but she did as she was told. “No, you didn’t, Master.”
She didn’t know it, but I loved that spark of irritation in her eyes. Craved her defiance. I hated it, of course I did, what Dominant wouldn’t? I also admired it. I loved it when she fought back, when she didn’t immediately roll over and give in. Her fight made my victory so much sweeter, and it gave me no choice but to give in to her sometimes. And that made her happy.
I wanted to make her happy.
I just didn’t know how to keep her happy.
“I’ll let that pass this one time. You’re rusty. The next time you speak out of term, I’ll pull your shorts and panties down your legs and turn your ass a beautiful shade of red, is that clear?”
Her thighs squeezed together, and her pupils dilated. Her reaction spun a reaction of my own. The lust in the room was thick. With her, it always was.
“Yes, Master.”
As good as it would feel to take her right there, we were starting over, and sex wasn’t something I did with my submissives the way I had done with Miya. Sex was intimate. You gave so much trust during, which was why dominance was often represented through sex. But it was easily represented in many other ways.
I tried to see her the way I would any other submissive. I pushed our blinding connection to the side, as hard as it was. The moment I had, her breathing deepened. She could see the darkness in my eyes.
Could feel the threat and control.
If she wanted to go to the beginning, we would. To a new place we never even touched.
“We need to discuss your hard and soft limits.”
She blinked.
“Don’t talk unless I ask you a direct question,” I interrupted the moment her plump pink lips opened. Her mouth snapped shut. “What is something you won’t do?” I stepped closer to her, wanting to invade her space, and be in hers.
She blinked again, confused.
I wanted to ruffle her feathers. “For example. I have a hard limit for shit and piss play. Enemas don’t count. Do you agree?”
Her nose scrunched together. “Yes.”
I held my smile down. “Glad to know we’re on the same page.”
She pursed her lips.
She wanted this. It wasn’t in my nature to hold back. I reached over and grabbed her lips between my index finger and thumb, glaring into her stunned eyes. “Keep your thoughts to yourself from now on. If I wanted to hear what you were thinking, I’d ask. Keep your emotions off your face. Every time I see what you’re thinking on your face without me asking, I will take away your blankets. It’s cold out there.” I gave her lips a twist, and then let them go. “Clear?”
She struggled with all her heart to keep her face clear. “Yes, Master.”
“If you remember correctly, you give me your control, and I give you my care. Every time you please me, I will make you feel good. I don’t want to be a monster all day long. Keep that in mind before you make a mistake.”
I waited to see if she’d make a mistake. That hadn’t been a question.
I hummed, impressed when she didn’t answer. “Can Master kiss you? Your lips look tender from my punishment. I want to feel your soft sore lips on mine.”
Love and need burned immediately in her eyes. “Please kiss me.”
Hmm. “I don’t remember asking you to beg. I asked for permission.”
“Yes, you can kiss me.”
I took her chin in my hand and tilted her head back, making it so her mouth was perfectly placed for me. Damn it, her lips were incredible. Full, pink, soft and pliant. I wanted to make them swell. “Come.” I took her hand and led her over to the sofa, sinking down. “Straddle me.” She scrambled across my lap, her hands raised uncomfortably in the air. I smiled softly. “Put your hands on my shoulders, baby.”
She did, her chest rising and falling. I smelled the musk of her lust; I wanted to drench myself in it.
“I’m going to play with your lips. It shouldn’t require a safe word, but tell me what your warning and safe word is anyway.”
“My warning is calm. And my safe word is love.”
I’d been unsure when she’d first chosen those safe words. They weren’t typical, or even possessing. What if I was too far gone to hear them the way they were being said? But she was the submissive. They were her words to pick, and I suspected it was her own way of telling me how she felt and how much she trusted me.
I settled my hands on her tiny waist. “You’re such a good girl,” I purred, feeling her entire body open up to the compliment.
There was a submissive in her. She just had a much larger heart.
“You know that, baby?” I felt my heart come out and play. It took over my mouth, forgot I wasn’t supposed to be hers. “You are so good it makes me hard.”
She arched in my hold, and her lips twitched. The sight of her begging to be kissed sent a flood of hunger through me that was hard to ignore. I did. Part of being her dominant was to be able to think around wanting to fill her.
I released her waist to curl my grip around her neck and jaw. I positioned her where I wanted her, and then I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth. She exhaled a breathless, husky moan that went straight to my cock. I shouldn’t condone her reaction. It was aggravating that she already broken a rule I just implemented. But her lips were too tempting to stop.
I chewed on her bottom lip, holding her bright blue gaze. Her long eyelashes were fluttered with longing. I sucked and nipped, biting down hard enough to make her whimper. I tasted copper and slid my tongue across the cut I gave her. I moved on to her top lip, nibbling on her plump flesh until it was as swollen and raw as her bottom lip.
I held her waist down, keeping her from grinding against me.
Her fingertips dug into my shoulders.
When I pulled back, her lips were two pillows the color of crushed pink rose petals. They shimmered from my tongue and throbbed from the attention I placed on them.
And then I kissed her.
She moaned immediately, sinking into my body. She hissed, pulling back. I found her inability to choose between the pleasure of the kiss and the pain of her lips heady. I kissed her deep, sucking on her tongue and sweeping mine over every inch of her mouth. She tasted like flowers and sugar, this sweet intoxicating taste I could never get enough of.
She chose pleasure, braving the pain of her lips to have mine.
I started putting together a reward in my head, and then realized I couldn’t do what I normally would. It had to be emotionless. A regular award. It shouldn’t hurt me so much to demote her to just a woman.
Not when she was my entire world.
As hard as it was, I pulled away, catching my breath as she did the same. Her thighs trembled around mine and the heat coming from her core was searing. I reached down to cup her through her shorts, soaking up the blaze of her pussy.
She watched my hand in a haze. She was gone. Nothing I did now would make a difference. All she wanted was me inside of her. I could read her thoughts, see her desires. It was intoxicating to be so connected to a person that deeply for once in my life.
My soul didn’t know beauty, but it wanted to cling to hers.
I had to take back the power. “Get up.”
To her credit, she hid her disappointment well. She stood on wobbly legs, her
breaths puffing from her swollen lips. I wanted to do the same thing to her pussy. Nibble and suck on her lower lips until they were pillow-like and tender. And then I’d fuck her deep and hard.
I grinned at her. “Well, you’ve managed to drive me completely crazy for one day, Miya.” My smile fell, not wanting to say the next part but knowing I had to. “Go down to the basement. Do what you please. I’ll be down with lunch. And do not, under any circumstances, touch yourself. Do you hear me?” I grabbed her hand and pulled her down, so her eyes were close. “Touch your pussy once, and I’ll see that you can’t touch it again for the entire month. Go.”
She stumbled out of the living room and then disappeared into the back of the house. A moment later I heard the basement door closed softly after her.
The moment she was gone, my heart writhed.
I hated being separated from her. Without her in the room, beside me, within site, all the wrong in my life came rushing back. I knew she was feeling the same. I gravitated her sun, and she needed my lonely planet to shine on. In a way, we were perfect for each other.
So perfect, in fact, I could almost forget all the wrongs.
Almost.
And even if I forgot them, she never would.
Not my sweet Miya.
2. – Miya
My lips were swollen.
I touched them repeatedly, sitting on the couch in the basement with the quiet surrounding me. They were so tender, I could barely move them. Each time I did move them, I felt parts of me come alive that I thought were already awake.
The fact that Jaxon could still wake me up filled my heart with hope.
And the fact that he could still turn me into a horny pained mess filled my light with dark.
Just the way I liked it.
I waited for what felt like hours in the quiet and dark basement. I hadn’t bothered turning on any lights. I was comfortable without them. When the lock on the door above clicked, and his feet took the stairs, slow and deliberate, I felt my lower half clench in anticipation.
Rewinding my expectations were hard. We’d gone from a place of order to a place of having him whenever I wanted. I’d never been to the place I was now. Utterly and completely at his will. At least before I had his heart.
Now I had his command.
It was insanely sexy. Already, I could feel a deeper connection. I wasn’t stupid enough to think it would be enough. It wouldn’t. Because as hot as it was to have him drive me crazy, it also proved a point I refused to acknowledge. He needed control, even if that meant slamming my heart into the ground.
I needed my heart, even if that meant spending the rest of my life picking up the discarded shattered pieces.
His shadow broached the last step. He flipped the light on and then there he was, a tray of food in his hands.
“Turn on the other lights,” he ordered quietly.
I reached over and stretched to tug on the light string from the lamp beside the couch. Warm light illuminated the basement. He set down the tray on the coffee table and sat down beside me. I wanted to touch him but knew that wasn’t in the rules anymore. I was his play thing. His vending machine of control. Every order he doled out, I dropped a little bit more power into his waiting palm.
He’d made turkey sandwiches and paired it with two cups of coffee and fresh fruit. I wasn’t hungry. At least not for food. I was trying—and failing—to figure out how the next month would play out.
Would it fix us or break us?
“Eat,” he ordered, no warmth at all in his tone.
I slid forward on the sofa and grabbed for a half of my sandwich, bringing it to my swollen, tender lips.
“I’ll ice and warm them when you’re done eating,” he promised when I flinched.
He watched me eat, his heated gaze trailing over me like his fingers. He left every inch of me achy and my head was floating in the clouds.
“Since we’ve just met, I think we need to test your pain limits. You look like you’re a disrespectful brat, and I can’t have that. Look at the ground,” he commanded when I turned to look at him.
Keeping my expressions off my face was hard. How was I supposed to hide what I felt? How was I supposed to pretend that falling in love with him was almost as hard as it was beautiful?
The sandwich went down without me tasting it. The fruit too. I drank my coffee with my eyes aimed at the liquid.
The moment I finished, he nudged my elbow. “Take all of your clothes off.”
I stood on wobbly legs and disrobed. I ached to look him in the eye, to have some sort of idea of what he was thinking. Instead, I kept them on the ground. Where he wanted them.
Where any submissive woman would keep them.
And I knew it was wrong, but I started to get angry. Why did I have to change myself? Why couldn’t Jaxon do the changing? I started concocting so many normal things for our next month together, it was hard to remain still.
Or maybe our next month wouldn’t be normal at all. Maybe I’d be the Mistress and he’d get a taste of having his eyes on the ground. But then I thought of Vega and realized I could never do that to him. Hurt him, rip his control from him.
Our next month would be sweet.
This one would earn it.
Once I was naked, I remained standing, unsure what to do next. He didn’t give me an order. He probably enjoyed my naked confusion.
He could pretend all he wanted, but he loved this. It was in his blood, and it always would be.
He got up without a word, as I stood there, returning a few minutes later. “Straddle me like you did upstairs.”
I immediately came alive, turning around and straddling his lap naked. His sweatpants brushed delicately over my clit and I tensed. An orgasm right now would be dangerous. His eyes narrowed on me, as if he could see it coming, smell it on the edge of his knowing nose.
“Put your hands on my face. Cradle it.”
Oh. I gently cupped his brutal, handsome face in my hands. My thumbs stroked his neck, and the stubble from his jaw tickled my palm. His straight nose looked kissable. I wanted to lean close and take his lips, pepper his hardness with soft kisses. Instead I remain still on his lap, lest I explode from the orgasm I felt tingling in my clit.
“Stay still,” he rumbled, lifting an ice cube from the bowl.
He loved this part. Playing with the parts he broke and making them feel better. The TLC was the best, and I moaned when the ice cube slid across my sore lips. He iced them until they were numb, and then he ripped open a bag and placed a warm cloth over them, and I closed my eyes in bliss. I stroked his jaw with my thumbs, the only way I could show him how I felt.
He repeated the process until my lips felt good again.
And then he set everything aside, grabbed my jaw, and brought me forward, biting and sucking on my lips until they were even puffier and sorer than before. I tried to cling to the little bit of pleasure hovering above all the pain, but it was hard. It hurt past good. But it pleased him. I wanted to please him. I wanted us to be more.
When he was testing my pain threshold I figured he’d be spanking me. Not breaking my lips open. I was seconds from using my safe word when he pulled back and picked up an ice cube.
His dark unfathomable gaze seared through me like a knife as he tended to me. His cock was so hard I could feel it straining against my leg. So close to my pussy the heat of him and the heat of me met somewhere in the middle, creating a fire between us.
“We’ll keep going until you use your safe word. Don’t use it until you absolutely must.”
He iced and heated my lips, and then returned to them, deep groans emanating from his chest as he sucked on my swollen flesh. I dug my nails into his jaw, on the cusp of running and coming when he groaned from the pain.
“Love,” I cried out the moment he went in for thirds. Pain had started to win. It made everything bitter and ugly.
“Okay,” he murmured gently, licking once more at my overworked flesh. He spent the next half hour ici
ng and heating my lips. When he was done, he cupped my face and brought our foreheads against the other. “You amaze me, sweet girl. I think you’ve earned yourself and award, don’t you?”
I wasn’t gone enough to answer that question the way he suspected I would. “If you think I do, Master.”
His eyes sparkled with mirth. “You’re catching on quickly. Your pick. Oral or fingers. Which would you like?”
That’s it? I thought, disappointed. I kept it off my face as best I could. I wanted to be with him. Skin to skin, hip to hip. But I did need to come. My clit felt as swollen as my lips. The lust between us was a fog of desire I couldn’t see through. “I’d love your tongue on me, Master.”
He nodded, pleased. “I’ll eat your sweet cunt in my bed. Go upstairs and lay on all fours. Ass and cunt in the air. I’ll be up in a minute.”
I could hardly make it out of the room without turning back to him. He had metaphorical strings tied to my limbs, and he pulled them well. I made it upstairs and crawled onto his bed. The afternoon winter light lit up his entire room. I could feel the shred of warmth in the sun on my face as I got on my hands and knees. I spread my thighs apart and listened to my heavy breathing.
I felt him before I heard him. His presence commandeered the room. Traced its way over my heart. He rested one hand on my ass and palmed me.
“This is an award for taking my punishment so well. You can come once. I suggest making it last.” The bed depressed, and then his fingers were spreading me apart and baring my pussy to him.
I bit down on my lip, but that hurt too much, and the pain and pleasure sent me into hyperdrive. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted this to last. I didn’t think it would. Not with how intensely he’d teased me already. My excitement was dripping down my thighs and my lower half was a bunched livewire waiting to explode.
“How long do you think your clit would last if I did to it what I did to your lips?” He pressed a kiss to my clit from behind. My thighs shook with the effort of holding back my reaction. “Hmm?” he rumbled, making sure to do it as close to my clitoris as he could.
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